Female acting depressed

Good day,

I had three staffies, two females and one male. My eldest female had a Cesarean (with only one pup surviving, which I bottle fed) and about a month after the operation, her belly began swelling as if she was pregnant again (which obviously was not the case). I took her to the vet and she was diagnosed with an extremely aggressive liver tumor and the Vet gave her only a few weeks. We decided to make the heartbreaking choice of euthanasia. We decided that we will keep the pup as we have grown very fond of her, with the bottle feeding and everything else along with it.

However heartbreaking the passing of my female was for me, my other female started acting strange in some ways. About a week after the final trip to the vet, she started acting depressed and which I understood at the time and did I "attempt" console her as much as she helped me through the heartbreak. It is now 3 months later but it's as if she is getting more depressed. She will be happy when we come home from work and greet you with a wagging tail and staffy smile but then when everyone has calmed down and I call her for a cuddle or another reason, she will come but she has the look of a dog that is afraid her human is going to hurt her (just for the record, I talk loud when they misbehave, but I will never hurt them in any way). Her head is hanging, tail is hanging and she will keep a short distance from the one calling her, almost a fight or flight stance and distance or a sulking manner. (if dogs could sulk, I imagine her sulking manner would be that of a teenager being refused any electronics)

When she decides on her own to come to you, there is no problem with distance. She will get onto the couch and sit tight next to you, but when someone tries to get her attention for a scratch, she will either ignore the person completely or crawl closer very reluctantly with the same flight or fight / sulking mannerisms.

The same with when we go to sleep (all my babies sleep on the beds), she will get onto the bed, sometimes under the covers other times on top, and like on the couch, calling her to come closer for a goodnight cuddle, is nearly impossible or with the same flight or fight / sulking mannerisms.

She suddenly also became very afraid of loud talking and thunder and would start panting and shivering whenever there is storm, to the point where I have to wrap her in a blanket and while sitting next to her I have to hold my hands over her ears, so that she can't hear the thunder. When we are talking loud to one another, she thinks we are scoffing her and looks as if she wants to flee as far away as possible.

Since showing these signs of "depression" and behavior change, I have gone down on her level (on the floor), patting her, complimenting her, give her kisses on the nose, but still it seems to get worse.

I know this is a long tirade, but I wanted to give as much information as possible.

Thank you in advance.

My male, on the other hand is fine, with no behaviour change at all.

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Hello and welcome.

So sorry to hear of your loss in such tragic circumstances.

If I understand correctly, you have a male + your female you are writing about + the 4 month old surviving female puppy ?
My initial thoughts are that house and pack dynamics have radically changed in the eyes of your female and she’s lost.
Was your older female the most dominant or leader of the three ? If so, then maybe your female has no reference to look up to and she is having trouble finding her place in the household.

If young puppy is still home, how does your female act towards her ?
Did she participate to the puppy’s education during weaning at all ?
Oh, and how old is your female ?
She’s not a former rescue ?

Sorry for all of my questions despite your detailed post.

No, I think it's the older female?

Please confirm one way or the other.

If it's the older female I'd say she's grieving :dogs can & do grieve.

@nifty
You are correct re the male, female & puppy and yes the other female was about a year older and slightly more dominant.

This female innitially ignored the pup and moved away from her during the time I bottle fed her but sonce she started eating solids and I was able to leave her at home when at work, she was more acceptable toward the pup and nowadays the two of them are good playmates.

My female is turning three this year and no, she is not a rescue.

@gillybrent, would there be a difference if she is the younger one with regards to grieving?

I definitely agree with the grieving and as with humans, every individual is different as to how they react and how long they need to see a brighter day.

I’m guessing that the two older females spent alot of time together and in some ways, your older one helped raise the younger one. Now she’s left without her big sister but has a little pup to take care of. Little pup is nice but it’s not the same as with big sister so she has the blues.
As to your male staffy, I’d be guessing “boys will be boys” in that between the dogs, he’s lovely but not loving, if you see what I mean.

I would try to play down her fleeing behaviour and concentrate on everything else positive that she does. Encourage “life as usual”.
For example, if you call and she goes into scared flight mode, don’t react to her behaviour but continue to call as before and extra praise and cuddles when she comes to you.
The idea is to shift the praise and comfort (ultimately what you react to) from the defensive behaviour to when she opens up a little to you. This will reassure her and show her that a good place to be is trusting you instead of in her distant behaviour.

It’s a very fine line between the two situations, you need to catch her when she makes that step towards you instead of you going to her. Otherwise she could continue to shut down as a form of coping.