Happy day Alfie can stay

First topic message reminder :

Hi All,

Just wanted to thank each and everyone of you for all your advice (i know ive been a bit of a pain on here lol) but due to circumstances out of my control I am regrettable re homing my little Alfie. As you can imagine I am absolutely devastated but wish him a long and happy life.

Ive enjoyed tak=lking with all of you - thank you x

She sounds extremely unreasonable, do you really want to be living with her anyway. Any decent person would give you a time limit at the very least.

MatLogan wrote:

You are totally right Eleanor.

I'd do anything for this to work, I can't help but think both of you have made your decision however. I have gave ideas that will make a difference but if you don't want to take them rehoming is the only option.

Agreed.

johneva wrote:

EllieSmith wrote:Everyone is quick to judge me and to judge what I am like and its not fair.

Arrr poor you being judged on actions you take, its an unfair world.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1299528/Rescue-dogs-slaughtered-irresponsible-owners.html

As much as I hate the press as most of what they print is bull, read and enjoy, this was from a couple of years ago and the situation is even worse now.

Johneva, though I understand your anger and agree with your last sentence, I think you should tone it down a little. Being condescending isn't going to help the matter.

So when its freezing cold you’re gonna put him in a kennel outside for nearly 10 hours at a time? xx

This is what I got?

You can tell her that it is not happening, you have taken this dog on and now it's time to take responsibility for him. You tell her what you are planning to do over the next month and why it is going to work!
She has no right doing this to you or the dog. You can't say that it is ok to get a dog and then change your mind when the dog is there. It does not work like that!

In worst case, she would choose to move, then you use the money you had saved for trainer and all else you mentioned and you use them for rent until you find a new more understanding and dog friendly housemate!

EllieSmith wrote:So when its freezing cold you’re gonna put him in a kennel outside for nearly 10 hours at a time? xx

This is what I got?

Don't worry - you can get heated kennels quite easily.

MatLogan wrote:

EllieSmith wrote:Everyone is quick to judge me and to judge what I am like and its not fair.

You are right too.

I wish you both would try at least 1of our ideas though.

but Ellie you've only had the dog 5weeks and you are giving up on him, as sick as it is he is going to end up at the best more traumatised and harder to rehome and at the worst PTS. I'm sorry but you have just given up on him. Your housemate isn't going to kick you out. Shes just trying to boss you about and even if she does you can leave without notice, make her pay all the rent and then find another house share. There are plenty about...

The freezing cold time of the year is nearly over. Plenty of blankets etc will help for the most part. Obviously not if it's snowing. In a few weeks it'll be starting to get warmer anyway.

Try it, if it doesn't work at least you've tried!

MatLogan wrote:The freezing cold time of the year is nearly over. Plenty of blankets etc will help for the most part. Obviously not if it's snowing. In a few weeks it'll be starting to get warmer anyway.

Try it, if it doesn't work at least you've tried!

I have said this Matt - will let you know

EllieSmith wrote:

MatLogan wrote:The freezing cold time of the year is nearly over. Plenty of blankets etc will help for the most part. Obviously not if it's snowing. In a few weeks it'll be starting to get warmer anyway.

Try it, if it doesn't work at least you've tried!

I have said this Matt - will let you know

Thank you. Hope it works!

So do i

EllieSmith wrote:So when its freezing cold you’re gonna put him in a kennel outside for nearly 10 hours at a time? xx

This is what I got?

You can get them insulated. It's not ideal, but you'll be training Alfie while this is going on, so eventually he'd be OK to come inside the house. As for the smell, I think people suggested a mild shampoo and daily brushing. Your problems are very minor, and I know it isn't down to you, but that's why we keep saying to tell her to come online, so we can speak to her directly and hopefully everyone's experiences and advice can put her mind at ease. Worth a try, no?

Thanks Ellie. This is the first positive statement you have been able to give us. So keep it up and let's all get this sorted!

EllieSmith wrote:I am desperately trying to make her see now...AGAIN! What more can i do than beg? Which is what I am doing!

Who is this girl? You beg to her and ask for her permission but as far as I can see you are both equal housemates who both pay rent. She isn't your mother and cannot tell you what to do. I would ignore her and carry on with what your doing, she can't force you to get rid of him.

Obviously I knew he’d stink, im not an idiot, just didn’t thin it’d be this bad. You know what Im fed up of talking about this because we’re just going round in circles, I think we should get rid of him and you don’t. No matter what happens one of us will be unhappy. So just do what you want xx

This is what I get!!!

EllieSmith wrote:Obviously I knew he’d stink, im not an idiot, just didn’t thin it’d be this bad. You know what Im fed up of talking about this because we’re just going round in circles, I think we should get rid of him and you don’t. No matter what happens one of us will be unhappy. So just do what you want xx

This is what I get!!!

Seriously?? Why would you want to live with a girl like this?

Exactly...Do want you want...keep Alfie. Staffies have a way of worming their way into your hearts, once you show her how you can train him and he improves as time goes on, she will then see what a super dog he is and be glad you kept him.

Take this advice it'll help. Trust me I fight/argue with people all the time

Go and cool off, it seems you are having a heated arguement which isn't good for any of you. Give it an hour or so then bring up the kenneling again...calmly.

We will all be here when you get back. (take Alfie for a big walk)

Matt I brought this up as calmly as I could and look what the reaction was!

Leave it a few hours.

EllieSmith wrote:Obviously I knew he’d stink, im not an idiot, just didn’t thin it’d be this bad. You know what Im fed up of talking about this because we’re just going round in circles, I think we should get rid of him and you don’t. No matter what happens one of us will be unhappy. So just do what you want xx

This is what I get!!!

Assuming this is the housemate, so here is my message to her - Have you never heard of compromise? It goes both ways, you know. You don't want the dog - Ellie does. What makes your opinion and feelings about the dog more important than hers?

MatLogan wrote:Leave it a few hours.

Agreed. Let things cool off, so she can think about it.

Do yourself proud and prove us all wrong and find a way of keeping him and you will be a star in my eyes .
becouse at the minute it seems every thing we are saying is going in one ear and out the other everything sugested by the members you are saying you have already said and getting nowere .
becouse i will be blunt and harsh here its coming across as its a welcome situation you are finding yourself in and you have been given an excuss to get shot of him .
the reason im saying this is i dont give a dam if i was living with the queen there no one person on this earth that would make me part with a dog after i had made the comitment to take them on full stop. its either get a backbone and tell her to stop the whinning and show her you will get it sorted. or stop blaming others for something you are happy to do and destine you little boy to a life that quite possible end up with him being PTS or end up in the hands of someone that may give a horrible life as a bate dog

EllieSmith wrote: If Alfie stays it will end up with one of us leaving and having enough.

There's your answer right there, you want "nothing more than to be able to keep him", looks like you or your friend has to go then. My wife has said to me in the past "I want that dog gone" despite her getting him for me, my response was "ok" to her horror I went online and looked for flats to rent and informed her that Stig was MY responsibility and if he had to be rehomed, I would be rehomed with him. If it was a friend making that same threat they wouldn't have got a chance to say it again I'd be gone at the first possible opportunity.

I know but the cold harsh reality of it is I cant afford to do that. Or find another landlord good enough to take on a dog

EllieSmith wrote:I know but the cold harsh reality of it is I cant afford to do that. Or find another landlord good enough to take on a dog

Well that's understandable. For now, let's just leave things to settle for a while and see how it goes. Your housemate may change her mind!

I dont want to tempt fate but I think im onto a winner here....

EllieSmith wrote:I dont want to tempt fate but I think im onto a winner here....

Sounds good!!! Take your time and show her you are thinking of the three of you. She could feel like she is the opposition which isn't true

I think she is going to take a few days out, so we can all cool off

EllieSmith wrote:I know but the cold harsh reality of it is I cant afford to do that. Or find another landlord good enough to take on a dog

sorry ellie its just excuss after excuss either admite to yourself its what you both want (gettin rid)or prove us all wrong and show us what a great owner you are and we will help you and give you tips every step of the way
just please please dont be pushed around into desisions you will regret and will never be able to forgive your housemate for .
becouse beleive me it will eat you up untill the point you will not be able to live together and you will move on and this whole situation will have been pointless

EllieSmith wrote:I dont want to tempt fate but I think im onto a winner here....

EllieSmith wrote:I think she is going to take a few days out, so we can all cool off

That's progress! We'll keep our fingers crossed for you!

I daresay it sounds like we're ganging up on you, but we really do want you to be able to keep this dog! Good luck!

EllieSmith wrote:She cant coep with all the mess and the smell of him

Hi Elle, His doggy smell can be dealt with with a nice shamphoo, and some nice plug ins, any mess can be cleaned up straight away, extra walks too. If not , why not start looking for your own place.

EllieSmith wrote:I think she is going to take a few days out, so we can all cool off

I think that sounds ideal. Arguements can get very heated. Now is your chance for you to prove yourself, get stuck into, crating, new exercise and/or kenneling.

Good luck.

good luck with the talks we will help as much as wer can with tips to get you throgh this

If you do get stuck on any training, feel free to ask for advice! We're happy to help with it. Several people here have had plenty of experience with training difficult dogs, as well, so it's worth a try.

I work right next to a pet store so I am going to go and buy some chew spray today - thats the first thing! I have already contacted the trainer and am waiting to hear back

EllieSmith wrote:I work right next to a pet store so I am going to go and buy some chew spray today - thats the first thing! I have already contacted the trainer and am waiting to hear back

Nice! And that's a good idea with the spray. It helped to stop ours chewing some of the furniture. Just don't make the mistake I did - I used the spray, then put my hands near my mouth without washing them. Bleck!

I'm glad things are looking positive. It's great to see a lot of people care about these things also.

Keep the head up and get it sorted. It'll be so much easier when you get started

Fair enough, I should have realised before I posted my comment, if you could afford to leave I believe you genuinely would. Here's my to penneth though for what it's worth, your flatmate is not your lanlord so is not superior to you, I wont give an opinion on her as it's not neccesary and if she were to read it it would do you no favours, but I'm going to base this advice on the assumtion you have a secure yard with high boundaries and a solid base like concrete or slabs, if not don't worry it can still be worked on, but here go's. Let the situation calm down and whilst that is happening go find a kennel, once you have one organised inform your housemate when it will be arriving and that the dog will be living outside, you can work on making the kennel warmer and we can advise you on that here but right now if you get a kennel your flatmate knows the dog is going outside and you will have shown you are prepared not only to compromise, but also to make a stand. She doesn't give a crap about the dog so her "concerns" about the cold should be dismissed she clearly wants to have the final say, many recuse centre's have kennells outside and if Alfie goes to rescue that is no doubt where he will end up, outside but with lots of other dogs distressing him and peopke walking past which would be a constant torment for him, bottom line is kennell in your yard with a loving owner prepared to spend her free time with him is better than a kennell in a rescue centre. You do not need to ask her permission you need to let her know that this is whats happening. Do you have high walls/fences and is your garden soil based or concrete? This may not seem important but you need to be certain the dog can't escape

Well done, I knew it was just a case of you having to stand up to her. Even if you only have a few days use them to start making some real progress. Get Alfie into a routine and get him sleeping in there overnight so he views it as his own space. A long walk in the morning and another good one in the afternoon will be fine as long as someone can let him out for 10mins during the day. Routine means so much to dogs, something alfie has never had, you need to get him into one and make sure he can't take his anxiety out on the furniture or house! I think he will improve no end if you follow advice given. And sorry if I came across a little harsh I just wanted to be sure you knew the implications of giving him away.

Wow that moved quickly, if you've got her to agree to a 2nd chance indoors ignore my kennel post, glad you managed to talk her round, I'm sure you realise now you MUST put 100% into this dog while you have the chance, soend all your spare time taking the advice that has been given here and putting it into action, certainly introduce the crate asap as you have a few days to make a difference, you can't work miracles but I believe you'll try. I feel in your case the crate will be absoloutely neccesary. Good luck and keep us posted, and don't be scared to ask for help along the way everyone here wants this to work as much as you do

Eleanor wrote:

MatLogan wrote:

You are totally right Eleanor.

I'd do anything for this to work, I can't help but think both of you have made your decision however. I have gave ideas that will make a difference but if you don't want to take them rehoming is the only option.

Agreed.

johneva wrote:

EllieSmith wrote:Everyone is quick to judge me and to judge what I am like and its not fair.

Arrr poor you being judged on actions you take, its an unfair world.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1299528/Rescue-dogs-slaughtered-irresponsible-owners.html

As much as I hate the press as most of what they print is bull, read and enjoy, this was from a couple of years ago and the situation is even worse now.

Johneva, though I understand your anger and agree with your last sentence, I think you should tone it down a little. Being condescending isn't going to help the matter.

I am glad Alfie has been given a second chance and hope you make the most of it, just a shame it took this much to get you to this conclusion.

Doh You rescue a dog then the dog now needs rescuing from you it does not add up. Why Rescue in first place???

We are all dog lovers here, maybe Ellie's house mate wanted to get rid of the dog, some people aren't dog people, that is her prerogative.

We are only here to help. That's the best we can do.

They way it has got at home is she is so exasperated by the situation that she is taking it out on me AND alfie, snapping at him etc. I suggested she stay with family for a few days to get away from it all - that is all. She has not agreed to keep the dog but this is a window for me and a chance and I am taking it. Im not the one who has chosen the dog and WANTS to get rid of him. Anyway, I have brought the chew spray which hopefully is a start. As for the crate, I am still confused as to how I introduce it? Do I still keep Alfie in the kitchen but just put the crate in there with him? Do i shut him in it? (I hope not)

Never shut him in the crate. I did it to Logan once wrongly and he bit the crate door and broke a baby tooth, he really paniced.

Plenty of his blankets, possibly something that smells like you like a tshirt or something helps too. I always gave Logan one of my shirts and he felt a lot better. Cover the tops and sides with a blanket, leave a few treats in with him. And above all else, don't make a fuss about it to him. It in essence should be his place. Scents go a long way in the dog world.

.

Deleted

I removed this as the post I was responding to has been edited so my response is no longer relevant.

EllieSmith wrote:They way it has got at home is she is so exasperated by the situation that she is taking it out on me AND alfie, snapping at him etc. I suggested she stay with family for a few days to get away from it all - that is all. She has not agreed to keep the dog but this is a window for me and a chance and I am taking it. Im not the one who has chosen the dog and WANTS to get rid of him. Anyway, I have brought the chew spray which hopefully is a start. As for the crate, I am still confused as to how I introduce it? Do I still keep Alfie in the kitchen but just put the crate in there with him? Do i shut him in it? (I hope not)

Make it nice and comfy with his bed, a StagBar/chews, maybe a few nice treats for him to check out, then let him explore it in his own time. Don't shut the cage door until he seems OK with it, then shut it only for little bits at a time, giving him lots of praise and reward each time. Gradually increase the amount of time the door's shut for.

johneva wrote:Robbing a granny because my house mate told me to is not far off the same as sending your dog back into a rescue where it will most likely be killed because your house mate told you too in my eyes.

I wish I could say I am sorry but to be honest I am not I find the behavior of the OP disgusting, to take a dog on then give it away because her room mate told her to.

The disagreement between friends is not my concern the giving up on the dog after 5 weeks of ownership because her housemate don't like the dog is my issue here.

She says she hates people giving up on dogs because it don't fit their life yet thats exactly what she was doing earlier today.

We all understand that, but the point is that there's always hope. She can't afford to just move out with Alfie and live on her own, so she needed to convince her roommate, but it seemed to her like she couldn't. But everyone on here kept giving her advice and now there's hope that Alfie's going to stay. So as dog lovers we all understand where you're coming from, but the point is that speaking so harshly isn't going to help. Telling someone you're disgusted by their behaviour may be perfectly justified to you, but nor does it help the situation, nor does it give any possible help for Alfie.

Thank you Marie - thats lovely. Update to you all (even the ones who hate me right now) I have just spoke with Erika calmly and told her I WILL sort this and that I will make us all happy again, shes just got to trust me. and she said Ok. So thank you everyone for all the support - this has honestly been one of the worst days of my life.

Matt - So do you suggest me still keeping him in the kitchen and just leaving the crate in there with him with his blankets etc? Should I take away his bed?

EllieSmith wrote:Thank you Marie - thats lovely. Update to you all (even the ones who hate me right now) I have just spoke with Erika calmly and told her I WILL sort this and that I will make us all happy again, shes just got to trust me. and she said Ok. So thank you everyone for all the support - this has honestly been one of the worst days of my life.

Matt - So do you suggest me still keeping him in the kitchen and just leaving the crate in there with him with his blankets etc? Should I take away his bed?

Leave his bed where it is. Put blankets in the crate. Is it possible to have the crate in your room?