Happy day Alfie can stay

Hi All,

Just wanted to thank each and everyone of you for all your advice (i know ive been a bit of a pain on here lol) but due to circumstances out of my control I am regrettable re homing my little Alfie. As you can imagine I am absolutely devastated but wish him a long and happy life.

Ive enjoyed tak=lking with all of you - thank you x

Ellie I feel for you x Where are you rehoming him?

Where are you off loading him?

Yes, I know that's harsh, but I really don't think enough effort or thought has gone into this.

Please dont think im not prepared to train him and invest time because I really am, Im just not being given the option. This is absolutely breaking my heart

So, where is he going?

She is ringing the vets so they can advice on the best rehoming centre

Hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I think you should be given another option! You should be allowed to have a say in what happens to the dog. Does your housemate know how much this is upsetting you? If you want to keep the dog, she should be discussing it with you instead of forcing you to give it up.

Maybe I've been too blunt, but that's my opinion.

EllieSmith wrote:She is ringing the vets so they can advice on the best rehoming centre

As I said before...

Caryll wrote:And the rescue centres will tell you that they can't take on any more staffords/stafford crosses as they are full with them already.

It has literally broke my heart to see this today. He seemed like the perfect house dog and in time would bring you and you house mate together.

I still think you should be able to get a week or so's grace to try and iron the issues out.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE contact a rescue centre if you are giving him away. They are the only option, home checks etc must be done.

Maybe a compromise would work? You could try discussing with your flatmate that you could perhaps give the dog another few weeks to settle in while you continue training.

I have tried saying that

So, let's get this straight.

Erika, basically, has decided that she no longer wants a dog? So she's told you that you have to get rid of Alfie?

She cant coep with all the mess and the smell of him

I don't think this is at all fair on you or the dog. Sounds to me like she's being very selfish and refusing to take into consideration your feelings and the dog's welfare.

Other than say I will get in a trainer to help him and us I dont know what more I can offer? I get that a dog is for life and I want him for life

EllieSmith wrote:She cant coep with all the mess and the smell of him

I'll have to watch my words here. The best I can say is that I think she is being selfish in the extreme. The worst I could say shouldn't be posted on this forum.

What life do you have together if everything Erika doesn't like has to go? Where is the sharing & the joint commitment?

Whatever. You've made your bed, you have to lie in it - I just feel so sorry for Alfie. I just can't see what the future holds for him, I hope he finds a better home than yours - a forever home. Yes, that's harsh.

It seems like you geniunely care about this dog, so I hope you manage to work things out. A trainer is worth a shot!

EllieSmith wrote:Other than say I will get in a trainer to help him and us I dont know what more I can offer? I get that a dog is for life and I want him for life

You've done nothing that's been sugested on here! You've given up & now the only life I feel sorry for is little Alfie's.

Get a back bone and think about whats best for you and your dog.

Surely sending him to a rescue home is not the best as this will most likely end up with Alfie being put to sleep. You do realize rescues are full to the brim with staffs and huge amounts are being killed everyday because of people who get a dog then get rid of it as its not fitting their life.

Grrrr cases like this make me so angry, if you were not prepared to look after Alfie till he dies of natural causes or something happened to you then why get him in the first place?

Don't you think its unfair to be given hope and get attached to a new owner to then be sent back to a rescue which will most likely be the end of him.

johneva wrote:



Grrrr cases like this make me so angry, if you were not prepared to look after Alfie till he dies of natural causes or something happened to you then why get him in the first place?

I AM prepared to look after him thats the whole point. He means everything to me!

too many people just give up

Find a good home for him. Ask your mate if you can have time to find him somewhere nice. Least you can do.

EllieSmith wrote:Other than say I will get in a trainer to help him and us I dont know what more I can offer? I get that a dog is for life and I want him for life

Just not in your case where a dog is for 5 weeks when your room mate tells you he has gotta go.

I just feel sorry for Alfie poor little fella, crap first owner and now you give him up because your room mate says you gotta.

Im not giving up! Please stop making me out to be someone who abandons a dog because it doesnt fit in with their life. Im not like that but Im not being given a choice. If Alfie stays it will end up with one of us leaving and having enough. I want nothing more than to be able to keep him and look after him

EllieSmith wrote:

johneva wrote:



Grrrr cases like this make me so angry, if you were not prepared to look after Alfie till he dies of natural causes or something happened to you then why get him in the first place?

I AM prepared to look after him thats the whole point. He means everything to me!

Erm that's not whats happening though is it?

Your giving up your dog because your room mate says so. Wish I could laugh at you about that, but so angry that's not going to happen, don't see why another dog should die because you are not prepared to do whatever it takes to look after him.

EllieSmith wrote:Im not giving up! Please stop making me out to be someone who abandons a dog because it doesnt fit in with their life. Im not like that but Im not being given a choice. If Alfie stays it will end up with one of us leaving and having enough. I want nothing more than to be able to keep him and look after him

Well if you cant have him, go and find him a better home.. Just take your time in doing so though

She lives in the house too - what can I say that I havent already? Its as much her home as it mine if she cant live with him what do I do? If you have an option for me then please, tell me

I think Mat has a good point. Would outside housing be an option, maybe?

Matt trust me this is absolutely killing me! I hardly slept last night. I have suggested all of this but has got me nowhere. I dont know what else I can do. I absolutely hate this situation and I hate people who give up on their pets but what else can I do? Its not my house - i cant lay down the law

EllieSmith wrote:Im not giving up! Please stop making me out to be someone who abandons a dog because it doesnt fit in with their life. Im not like that but Im not being given a choice. If Alfie stays it will end up with one of us leaving and having enough. I want nothing more than to be able to keep him and look after him

Erm you are someone who abandons a dog because it does not fit in your life though.

You are dumping Alfie because your room mate don't like him, you have choices tell your room mate to sod off, you both made a choice to get a dog now you need to both stand by that decision. Another alternative find somewhere else to live an tell your housemate to sick it.

Your saying your not being given a choice but we all have choices and you made yours, do as your room mate says and sod the dog ay.

Anyway I best just shut up now as this whole situation is just making me very angry and I am gonna end up saying something I probably shouldn't.

Have you suggested outside? Because all of the problems are indoor problems.

EllieSmith wrote:Matt trust me this is absolutely killing me! I hardly slept last night. I have suggested all of this but has got me nowhere. I dont know what else I can do. I absolutely hate this situation and I hate people who give up on their pets but what else can I do? Its not my house - i cant lay down the law

So she won't even have him in an outside kennel?

She's decided, I suppose, that Alfie no longer fits in with her life?

Will your housemate not come onto the forum to talk about it?

johneva wrote:

EllieSmith wrote:Im not giving up! Please stop making me out to be someone who abandons a dog because it doesnt fit in with their life. Im not like that but Im not being given a choice. If Alfie stays it will end up with one of us leaving and having enough. I want nothing more than to be able to keep him and look after him

Erm you are someone who abandons a dog because it does not fit in your life though.

You are dumping Alfie because your room mate don't like him, you have choices tell your room mate to sod off, you both made a choice to get a dog now you need to both stand by that decision. Another alternative find somewhere else to live an tell your housemate to sick it.

Your saying your not being given a choice but we all have choices and you made yours, do as your room mate says and sod the dog ay.

Anyway I best just shut up now as this whole situation is just making me very angry and I am gonna end up saying something I probably shouldn't.

If you knew what Ive done for Alfie already you wouldnt be saying that. He fits into my life perfectly - literally! I cant afford to be living on my own with him. I was prepared to get his plastic surgery sorted, I was prepared to pay for a dog trainer, I have got countless treats and bones and toys to keep him occupied, I have even got him some socks because his little paws get cold when we walk him. I would die for that dog I really would. I am prepared to pay for everything for him and invest time in him, what can I do? Risk her moving out because shes had enough and leaving me in a house I cant afford?

EllieSmith wrote:Matt trust me this is absolutely killing me! I hardly slept last night. I have suggested all of this but has got me nowhere. I dont know what else I can do. I absolutely hate this situation and I hate people who give up on their pets but what else can I do? Its not my house - i cant lay down the law

With that same theory neither can she, she also allowed you to get the dog in the first place with no conditions on we will see how it goes, if there was that condition then you should never have got a dog in the first place.

You keep saying you have no choice but that's not actually true your just being to weak to do what you know needs to be done. Being friends with your housemate is obviously more important than what happens to poor Alfie.

EllieSmith wrote:

johneva wrote:

EllieSmith wrote:Im not giving up! Please stop making me out to be someone who abandons a dog because it doesnt fit in with their life. Im not like that but Im not being given a choice. If Alfie stays it will end up with one of us leaving and having enough. I want nothing more than to be able to keep him and look after him

Erm you are someone who abandons a dog because it does not fit in your life though.

You are dumping Alfie because your room mate don't like him, you have choices tell your room mate to sod off, you both made a choice to get a dog now you need to both stand by that decision. Another alternative find somewhere else to live an tell your housemate to sick it.

Your saying your not being given a choice but we all have choices and you made yours, do as your room mate says and sod the dog ay.

Anyway I best just shut up now as this whole situation is just making me very angry and I am gonna end up saying something I probably shouldn't.

If you knew what Ive done for Alfie already you wouldnt be saying that. He fits into my life perfectly - literally! I cant afford to be living on my own with him. I was prepared to get his plastic surgery sorted, I was prepared to pay for a dog trainer, I have got countless treats and bones and toys to keep him occupied, I have even got him some socks because his little paws get cold when we walk him. I would die for that dog I really would. I am prepared to pay for everything for him and invest time in him, what can I do? Risk her moving out because shes had enough and leaving me in a house I cant afford?

Sick of hearing how you care so much and you would do anything type attitude, when you quite clearly don't or you would not be telling us your getting rid of Alfie.

Lame excuses, sorry but I have seen to many cases like this to care about you and your feelings.

All I'm saying though is him being outside will remove the problem and allow you to work with him when you are at home. I won't keep going on at you and I won't attack you for doing something I disagree with, I can also understand your roommate as some people aren't animal lovers.

Can you just ask again for me about the outside kennel?

Ive asked Matt

Why are you letting your roommate walk all over you. What will it be next time she does not like something? I feel so desparately sorry for Alfie.

Let your friend move out, to me she is certainly not a true friend anyway and better of not in your life. Alfit would have been your friend for life and would never let you down or make demans other than a cuddle and a kiss. So so sad.

MatLogan wrote:All I'm saying though is him being outside will remove the problem and allow you to work with him when you are at home. I won't keep going on at you and I won't attack you for doing something I disagree with, I can also understand your roommate as some people aren't animal lovers.

Can you just ask again for me about the outside kennel?

But she has tried everything and there is nothing left she can do, she would die for Alfie did you not know?

Seems weird how its more likely Alfie will be the one who dies in this case!!!

Look, people will probably disagree with me and jump down my throat on this, but I think certain people are being a little too harsh. It isn't always that easy to persuade somebody to change their mind about something, and I geniunely do think Ellie has tried to talk her housemate round to keeping the dog. Though hearing about a dog being given away like this is upsetting and unfair, hurling accusations and abuse is not going to help the matter.

I just hope, if the dog is given away, that both parties try their utmost to give it a loving home - not just a rescue centre. I do think that it's disgraceful that a dog is being given up on, however.

Everyone is quick to judge me and to judge what I am like and its not fair.

Eleanor wrote:Look, people will probably disagree with me and jump down my throat on this, but I think certain people are being a little too harsh. It isn't always that easy to persuade somebody to change their mind about something, and I geniunely do think Ellie has tried to talk her housemate round to keeping the dog. Though hearing about a dog being given away like this is upsetting and unfair, hurling accusations and abuse is not going to help the matter.

I just hope, if the dog is given away, that both parties try their utmost to give it a loving home - not just a rescue centre.

You are totally right Eleanor.

I'd do anything for this to work, I can't help but think both of you have made your decision however. I have gave ideas that will make a difference but if you don't want to take them rehoming is the only option.

I rarely write anything on here, but this is seriously making me upset.
This poor dog has been re homed, he doesn't know you! When you leave he does not know if you are coming back. All the things you are describing is likely related to stress and anxiety, the poor baby does not know what is going on. So he chews to relieve his anxiety. A fair few people have asked you how much exercise he is getting, but I still can not find an answer for this. A tired dog is less likely to chew and the solution might be to start taking him for a run in the morning or a longer walk!

And what were you and your housemate expecting?? A dog, puppy or adult will need training and time to settle in. Chewing, barking, toilet training etc are things most dog owners need to deal with at some stage, weather they get a dog from a breeder at 8 weeks or a rescue dog.

And no you have not done everything you can, there is heaps you can do and it is both yours and your housemates responsibility, you both agreed on getting this dog and none of you could possible be stupid enough to think there would not be obstacles, I mean you must have done some research???
She has no right to turn around after 5 weeks and say that she has changed her mind and I can't believe you are letting her do that!
If my housemate told me to get rid of my dog then either she would be gone or me and the dog would be!

I was offering help but to be honest you have made up your mind and I think a little bit of it is that alfie is a bit in the way now. It will be easier for you without him thats what your thinking at the back of your mind. I think this is ridiculous and you can do a lot more, how about if you did move out where would that leave your house mate? Shes not going to want you gone so she can't pay the rent. I would live in a cardboard box if I had to so my dog would have a happy life. Sad but true if your take him somewhere like the RSPCA he will probably end up PTS. I'm gunna but out of this now cus I am finding it difficult not to get angry, you could try a lot more and not let your house mate walk all over you.

EllieSmith wrote:Everyone is quick to judge me and to judge what I am like and its not fair.

You are right too.

I wish you both would try at least 1of our ideas though.

EllieSmith wrote:Everyone is quick to judge me and to judge what I am like and its not fair.

Arrr poor you being judged on actions you take, its an unfair world.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1299528/Rescue-dogs-slaughtered-irresponsible-owners.html

As much as I hate the press as most of what they print is bull, read and enjoy, this was from a couple of years ago and the situation is even worse now.

I am desperately trying to make her see now...AGAIN! What more can i do than beg? Which is what I am doing!

Ask for time. Nothing else.

What's your roommate's excuse for not having Alfie stay in a kennel outside until his training is sorted? There's literally no reason why that's a bad idea, it sounds as though your roommate just wants him out and keeps making excuses as to why he can't stay. I think people are being harsh with you, it's hard to talk someone around, but even so, tell your roommate to come on here so we can all talk to her directly rather than through you. If she's the one with the issues and the fears with Alfie staying, she's the one we need to speak to. An outside kennel is a brilliant idea; not ideal, not perfectly, but a great temporary solution.