Staff Training

Dear employee,

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from all our employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T). We are trying to give all employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T that you can handle.

Employees who dont take their S.H.I.T will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING, (E.A.T.S.H.I.T), since our managers took S.H.I.T before the job. Please see your manager.

If you are full of S.H.I.T you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST, (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).

Those of you who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T, will get the S.H.I.T jobs, and can apply for promotion to the DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.S.H.I.T).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T)

Thankyou
BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)

I know all those courses well XxX

Sounds like a government job

Where do u find these?

I nick em off a guy on another forum - I don't know where he gets them, but he seems to get loads of them!