PUPPY IN UNSUITABLE FLAT (NO GARDEN) BOUGHT FOR LIL BROTHER PLEASE HELP!!!!!!

If this is in wrong section would a mod let me know or move it
thankyou

OK im going to try write this and i need your guys help very bad
in short though i think its best for axel (the puppy) to go as will have a better life plus im not capable to look after him
Hope someone can find the time to read all this please  

OK im 30 now but very unwell (diagnosed with cfs/me although could be cause of mold or both)
OK let me explain

before i turned 17 i lived with mum and her husband
it was a council home but pretty good (nice size with a lil garden) situated near crystal palace park in London
perfect place for a dog (unfortunately we never had one)
when i was 14 my mum had a lil boy (my half brother Jason ALTHOUGH I LOOK AT HIM LIKE MY FULL BRO/SON)

age 16/17 i was kicked out (i needed to be as something serious happened that was making me act strange)
anyway i got my life together and was going college working etc and had a place in wandsworth

age 18 i thought to myself im going to ring mum and ask if i can have my room back for 3 years (i always paid rent) reason why was cause i could start saving money whilst their and when finished education could be a plumber and buy my own place etc

ok ill try make this very short as no1 would wnt to read my long story
in short she bought a mobile home in Berkshire (it looked the worse on the site and was shocked at what she did)
i got very very very illl shortly after moving in their
10 years later got diagnosed with cfs/me (so i had no money no claiming benefits for 10 whole years)
anyway then i realized what the bad smell was in the mobile home (black mold)
it was in everything clothes belongings (you name it)
so im convinced that's what made me ill after what Ive read on the net

I WOULD LOVE TO TELL YOU GUYS MORE BUT ILL BE HERE FOREVER (plus im on strong antidepressants for how much that caravan and this area changed my life & health and all aspects)

in short i got a 1 bed flat and gave the bedroom to my 16 about to turn 17 year old brother (as i dnt wont him living in that place anymore)
ive tried my hardest to keep him happy etc

hence why i bought him a puppy
prob is the flat is soooooooooooooooo small, no garden, no lift and were on top floor (2nd floor) or 3rd if you class ground as 1st (i wasn't thinking clearly when i got him the pup)

its been imposable to train him with no garden (plus with my health i cnt anyway)
and to be honest if i had a garden i wouldn't want a dog as im way to unwell
the puppy is now 5 mnths old and has * in every room more than 100 times  

plus i cnt afford him as i only just recently started getting benefits for my health which is a low amount of money
i get child benefit for my brother but that's low to
also when my bro finishes college which is soon i wont get child benefit

i think its only right i sell him to one of his friends then he can visit him and my brother buy himself a dog when he has his own place (ill never kick my brother out though as long as he follows a few rules)

but Ive got to be realistic
i need to get better
i need to get my mum to get rid off all her mold infested stuff and start fresh as so do i
i then want to get me and my brother tested in kings college hospital to see how much damage that place did to us
im writing a letter to my family to see if they can help mum as i cant
theirs so much Ive got to get done and unfortunately i dnt want a dog
and my brothers always at college or out with friends and im stuck here with the dog

i mean i was even thinking about buying a toilet for the dog (called ugodog or something)
but even then ive had enough of the pee and poo smell its awful

sorry guys im just going through alot
as my mums in a bad place
family didnt lend me money to get a place worth £200.000 that i could of got if raised £20.000 as neighbor didn't do a will before passing away and it went to charity to sell for £37.000 (that was my answer to fix everything)
so unfortunately i wont be talking to a family member again

well im tired and this has come out wrong
but in short i dnt want a dog as i need to focus on getting better and rebuilding my life
and my brother should be just concentrating on his life and when he has a place of his own get a dog if he still want one

im not being evil ill be sad to see axel go but i know its best for all of us
i mean ive spoil t my brother rotten (nike clothes, 40"tv, jewelery it goes on and on)
and i think its time to be cruel to be kind?

P.S does anyone think theirs a way i could get a 2 bed place?
i claim my brothers child benefit as he will not live with his mum
but he turns 17 in less than a month?

also only reply if your going to help
as some have been a lil rude

you guys have to remember i was bed bound for 10 whole years!! (im still near the same a lil better though)
the place was condemned and we was in it that long
and my brother had a awful life (i havnt told you everything as to personal)
like i haven't said all about me

people must remember when ou get out a bad situation and are unwell you can make irrational decisions
because your wanting to make everything happy as quick as possible
but sometimes we all have to make mistakes to learn (which is easily done if unwell)

and to those who replied about work was very harsh
i did 3 paper rounds as a child, acting singing and dance on Saturdays
worked at age 15 doing electrics and other jobs till i got ill

anyway no need for anymore replies guys
ill be getting social services here very soon
and talk and make everything best as poss for me and bro
im just still messed up cause i cnt do anything for mum
plus brother goes to mums & then moldy things come to my flat (which pees me off)
anyway enough about us and about axel

dnt worry guys axel will be fine :@)
take care all

U can afford a 40inch tv but can't afford ur pup ?!

Staffords can in fact live in a small flat/ house. So long as the are exercised. It's not rocket science to train a pup either.

You say u bought this pup for ur brother .... Surely u knew us end up taking care of it ? As ur brother obviously is sucking u dry financially with the clothes / jewellery / tv etc.

I'd never I'm a million years buy any sort of pup for s teenager. It's totally irresponsible.

Find a Stafford rescue if u can't keep him. do not ever offer him free to good home - he will end up as a mistreated bait dog.

Jackieb wrote:U can afford a 40inch tv but can't afford ur pup ?!

Staffords can in fact live in a small flat/ house. So long as the are exercised. It's not rocket science to train a pup either.

You say u bought this pup for ur brother .... Surely u knew us end up taking care of it ? As ur brother obviously is sucking u dry financially with the clothes / jewellery / tv etc.

I'd never I'm a million years buy any sort of pup for s teenager. It's totally irresponsible.

Find a Stafford rescue if u can't keep him. do not ever offer him free to good home - he will end up as a mistreated bait dog.

i really shouldnt of wrote all that im just going through alot
i spoilt my brother as hes had a very very hard life
the tv was £180
the dog (axel was £400) as kc reg
ive prob spent over £5000 on my brother through all the years (money i saved when younger)
but now im out the bad home i need to focus on me
ide only sell him to a couple of people around here i know would prob want him and have a big garden
please remember im ill and when first came here wasn't thinking straight at all

ps anyone know if a child of 17 living with his brother in a 1 bed flat
if council might let me get a 2 bed?
im thinking of asking mental health team (as once i went to them from doctor as didn't know why i was getting ill before)
maybe get child social services involved (although when we was living in that moldy caravan i rang them years ago and they said nothing they can do if teachers haven't reported problems)
which was bad of them as no child should live in a place full of black mold in all the structure
hi pillow and clothes everything stank of mold
he didn't even have  bedroom it was like a closet with a lil child bed in their (standard single wouldn't fit)
i didn't know about guardianship back then (prob to late now)
its hard to explain
but in short a family member should of told me about guardianship etc and helped
anyway thanks

Jackieb wrote:U can afford a 40inch tv but can't afford ur pup ?!

Staffords can in fact live in a small flat/ house. So long as the are exercised. It's not rocket science to train a pup either.

You say u bought this pup for ur brother .... Surely u knew us end up taking care of it ? As ur brother obviously is sucking u dry financially with the clothes / jewellery / tv etc.

I'd never I'm a million years buy any sort of pup for s teenager. It's totally irresponsible.

Find a Stafford rescue if u can't keep him. do not ever offer him free to good home - he will end up as a mistreated bait dog.

ps tv is a 1 off payment
a dog is always payments (food,vets etc) and im struggling paying for just me n brother
im not spoiling my brother no more
jut was a bit to get him started here
but i cnt spoil him anymore even if i wanted to (plus i wouldn't no more as its time to make him a man)
i wouldn't of spoiled him half as much if he didn't used to have it so bad (he had it awful and mum should of adopted him or done something!)
as all the bills etc with the money i have is a NONO

i know training a dog isnt rocket science
but im unwell so shouldnt have a dog
and my brother isnt training him
i mean when we first got the flat n the dog
i thought my brother would of been like to his girlfiend
ok we know my brother is very unwell so lets get a toilet etc
yet they done nothing!
and i think dogs should have a garden
as i cnt deal with the wee n poo smell
even if i had a inside toilet for him it would drive me crazy

im not evil im just saying a dog deserves a healthy owner and a good home :@)

and i have so much other things to focus on for now anyway if that makes sence

just do the right thing by the pup please and go to a rescue so you can be sure he can be looked after properly

And sorry but you're in the wrong place for housing advice

last thing theirs loads i havnt wrote as it would go on forever
i did try when younger to sort loads of things out for me mum and brother
but was very unwell i wrote letters to family (they blanked me) which was evil
council said yes to 2 bed then a few months later said no as hes living with his mum
and i was very angry cause he was 15 then and i was trying to become his legal guardian through the courts but council said dnt need to be so i stoped
they messed me about and alot of things happened since then
i wnt go on
and try make this all just about lil axel now (the puppy)
hes a great dog very cute and playful
but i wnt better for him plus its 2 much for me unfortunatly

so as said already , take him to a rescue to make sure he gets some chance of a life as it doesn't sound like you can give him one

Dave wrote:just do the right thing by the pup please and go to a rescue so you can be sure he can be looked after properly

And sorry but you're in the wrong place for housing advice

your so correct
i just didnt want to break my brothers hart
i mean i might even cry as the few months weve had axel hes grown on me
but it even says all on the net anybody with cfs/me shouldnt have a animal

i mean my brother only young so should focus on college and having fun
then when he has his own place then he can have as many dogs as he wishes

dnt you think thats how it should be?

thankyou

i just needed to talk to someone as i live in a aera i dnt know
i love london but live up here for now (long story)

how much would a dog cost roughly a year? (food vet bills and o on)

im still going to give axel a better life
but so i know to show my brother

thanks for the response
but thats how unwell i am (writing this has been hard for me as very unwell)

take care everyone
and
thankyou

Give the pup to a staffy rescue if you are not willing to look after it. Please don't get another dog two weeks down the line. Spoiling your brother is your choice but its not the poor dogs choice to be kicked out and sold. This post breaks my heart and is all too common.

I understand ur unwell, and you thought getting a puppy was the right thing. Unfortunately, u had/have done no research or had any thought into caring for and raising a puppy.

As already said, do what best for the poor puppy and get intouch with a Stafford rescue.

Hayley wrote:Give the pup to a staffy rescue if you are not willing to look after it. Please don't get another dog two weeks down the line. Spoiling your brother is your choice but its not the poor dogs choice to be kicked out and sold. This post breaks my heart and is all too common.

it shouldnt break your hart!

axel is very happy ive played with him nonstop & i have a great home lined up for him :@)
its just i dnt think you realize how ill i was (with cfs/me or even mold sickness you get very confused)
im still very very ill now (but a tad better)

n thought what the hell have i done
pups happy as hell, just i thought omg if brother lives with me for like 8 years ide be having to do this everyday (it would kill me)

nway dnt worry guys axel has been fed very very well
played with all the time
and has a good home lined up (a friend) so axel will still see us etc

thankyou all

Mattylee wrote:I understand ur unwell, and you thought getting a puppy was the right thing. Unfortunately, u had/have done no research or had any thought into caring for and raising a puppy.

As already said, do what best for the poor puppy and get intouch with a Stafford rescue.

nah ive raised a dog when i was 16 (no prob back then)
but now times are different (much much different)
so i was thinking how it would of been if same as before i guess

well thanks for all reply's
cya

Enigma wrote:

Mattylee wrote:I understand ur unwell, and you thought getting a puppy was the right thing. Unfortunately, u had/have done no research or had any thought into caring for and raising a puppy.

As already said, do what best for the poor puppy and get intouch with a Stafford rescue.

nah ive raised a dog when i was 16 (no prob back then)
but now times are different (much much different)
so i was thinking how it would of been if same as before i guess

well thanks for all reply's
cya

If you've already raised a dog, u should of known how much of a commitment it is. And with ur illness u should of realised it would of been a whole lot different/difficult. Does ur friend know what is involved with raising/owning a puppy? Perhaps u could send them to this forum to get any advice needed, as the last thing Axel needs is being passed around homes.

If you are so ill you should not have got a dog to make your brother happy, you really brought it on yourself.

Please take Axel to Battersea or a Staffy rescue he needs a forever home not just to be sold to someone you know because its of benefit to you (either for the money or just because you want to keep seeing him) sorry to sound harsh but Axels long term welfare needs to come first

The very fact that you have to ask this question on a forum proves you or your brother are not ready for the responsibility of owning a dog let alone a little 'un. As others have said give him up to a rescue so at least some decent vetting can be done on a future home.

I'm sorry about your current situation but buying a puppy for personal instant gratification I think is just selfish. It should work both ways with any pet.

stop everything now... take the dog to a good reputable home and never think about getting one again. your just playing up to your brother and using excuse after excuse to justify your situation. everyone here has had a crappy time in there life at some point so your not unique on that point. kick your brother in his * and get him out doing something to learn what cash is worth. throwing money at him will fix nothing, when i was 13 i was picking beans in the fields, 14 i was out bush beating for the local hunt, 15 i was working in the local shops, my parents never gave me a penny! they had no cash to do so.

Enigma, you have had a terrible time and my heart goes out to you. I do admire you so much for taking on your younger brother and giving him a home. I do hope that you are benefiting from Social Services help for you and your brother. Also your GP will hopefully be helping you and your brother with your health issues. You and your brother sound like a strong unit and between you and the help that is available to you I am sure that you both will have a better life ahead of you.

I can understand why you introduced a puppy into your household, a focus for your love and attention who gives love back in return. Living in an upper floor flat is not ideal for a lively dog like a Staffy, but can be achieved with a lot of extra hard work.

However, you have health problems and what with your and your brother's situation you have more than enough to cope with as it is, and I would agree that Axel would probably be better off in another home, both for his sake and for you and your brother's.

If you are one million % positive that a friend of yours can give him a forever, loving, properly cared for home (without any money changing hands, because that would reflect badly on both sides) then that might, just might, work out well, so long as you are a squillion % sure that he is going to the best ever home a dog could ever dream of. But the best chance of Axel going to a loving, caring, forever home is to entrust him to Battersea or other ethical dog rescue where they make every effort to match a dog to their perfect home.

Then you and your brother can concentrate on mending your own personal healths and developing your futures, for which I send you both very best wishes (((HUGS)))

Please keep in touch - yes we care about Axel as we are Staffy forum, but we care about you too !

Hi, Im sorry that your going tho so much, its a shame. As for your housing problem, then yes, the council should move you. 1-you have health issues (these are always taken into account when offering tenants new homes. 2- It's actually illegal for your bro to share a bedroom with you.

Now lets talk dogs. I my self have some health problems. Maybe i shouldnt be saying it here, but most of the time, im off my rocker (bi-polar Affective Disorder). For me, a dog (now 2) has changed my life. They give me a reason to get out in the fresh air, to see people and they also dont judge me. Ken and Lilly are my life, my drug even.
As for training, you dont need a garden, just an open area and a nice long lead. Yes, are garden is handy when it comes to just letting them out for a wee, but you can over come this by going outside your caravan with axel on a lead. Can i ask what your health prob is? Because if it mobility the council will try and rehome you in a ground floor flat maybe. Im not having a go at you, but please, tell your bro to pull a finger out of his backend and take responsebilty (cant spell) for Axel, as this cannot go on. If he wants nice things, he has to earn them. Axel will be your best mate if you just try and sort this out.

All great advice above, also I understand your brother is young, and you are unwell, but if you bought this pup for your brother, he should be willingly helping you out with training, exercise, and taking out for toilet etc. A lot of us have work, and kids, and uni, and lives to get on with, but we buy our pets knowing what we get ourselves into, its not a 5 minute job, its a non stop job. They are just like children, they need constant love and care and fun. If your brother cannot accept some sought of responsibility, please ensure it goes to a good home/rescue centre, its not the dogs fault.

ive edited my main post as some of you are being harsh
how can i put this
ummm if your lying in a hospital bed full of drugs and ill (your not going to correct decisions)

what il do is show this post to my brother (as i think hes a member on here?)
then he can talk to you guys and you can reply etc

jshrew wrote:Please take Axel to Battersea or a Staffy rescue he needs a forever home not just to be sold to someone you know because its of benefit to you (either for the money or just because you want to keep seeing him) sorry to sound harsh but Axels long term welfare needs to come first

nothing to do about money!

but remem my brother has become fond of axel as been with us a few months
so would be nice for him to see how axel is growing up and getting on!

but what im going to do is get socil services here and see if we can get garden if not axel must go for his and my benefit

kenny d wrote:Hi, Im sorry that your going tho so much, its a shame. As for your housing problem, then yes, the council should move you. 1-you have health issues (these are always taken into account when offering tenants new homes. 2- It's actually illegal for your bro to share a bedroom with you.

Now lets talk dogs. I my self have some health problems. Maybe i shouldnt be saying it here, but most of the time, im off my rocker (bi-polar Affective Disorder). For me, a dog (now 2) has changed my life. They give me a reason to get out in the fresh air, to see people and they also dont judge me. Ken and Lilly are my life, my drug even.
As for training, you dont need a garden, just an open area and a nice long lead. Yes, are garden is handy when it comes to just letting them out for a wee, but you can over come this by going outside your caravan with axel on a lead. Can i ask what your health prob is? Because if it mobility the council will try and rehome you in a ground floor flat maybe. Im not having a go at you, but please, tell your bro to pull a finger out of his backend and take responsebilty (cant spell) for Axel, as this cannot go on. If he wants nice things, he has to earn them. Axel will be your best mate if you just try and sort this out.

i know he isnt mean to live with me
but hes 17 nxt mnth plus to late for legal guardianship
ill just get hold of social and see what can be dne
thankyou though

a for my health its been terrible the last 11 years to a point where it drove me crazy (i gave in to taking anti depressants)
Ive been diagnosed with cfs/me but im now thinking i have health probs from the 10years of breathing mold (as it was condemened that caravan) noing my luck i could have BOTH! errrrrr
oh me and my bro share a flat now ,
and you say you have bi-polor (i know 2 girls with that so know how it is :@) )

i actually could get into trouble having my bro living here
so thats why im getting social here as i shouldnt feel like a criminal for trying to give a minor/teen/young adult a chance in life

i mean i dnt class any1 a adult until 21
do you think age 17 is too late? im not his guardian (legally) although i am just not on paper
umm i claim his child benefit
im very angry at the council as they messed me about to a point a coundnt take nomore and took a flat i hate and is expensive (but i couldnt take me or bro breathing in bad things anymore and mum was acting crazy as in denial)
so its still a mess

anyway bye for now
and ill let you know in a few weeks whats happened with all of us :@)

This makes me sad

Give that puppy a good home and go and sort your life out

Good luck

Im locking this. You have been the one who bought a dog when you were sooooooooooooo ill so you bare the stick you are getting! Should not have got a dog if you are as ill as you say you are! Simple! I don't want to hear anymore excuses and we don't need to hear about gangs and jail and drugs on this FAMILY site.