I'm scared when my dog is around other dogs

Hello everyone, I hope I'm posting this in the right section.

I need some help!

I'll start with a little bit of background. I have a beautiful staff called Chelsea, she'll be 7 in April. Originally she was my brother's dog and she was his pride and joy, but then after a while he decided to get another staff puppy. Now my brother (ashamedly) barely had any time for her anymore, it was all about the new puppy. Regardless the two dogs got on well and would play together and with other dogs in the park. After a few years my family moved houses and not long after that the two dogs started fighting. It became more and more frequent and it was bloody. Chelsea and I had always been close so we decided that I would take her and she would come and live with me.

When I would walk her and take her to the park she loved playing with other dogs and I had no worries at all. Then a neighbour of mine rescued a staff/pit mix which was obviously nervous. One day Chelsea was off the lead and she went up to the this dog, Chelsea was wagging her tail but within a split second they started scrapping. From what I could see the other dog snapped first, perhaps Chelsea was a bit boisterous for her. The other owners did nothing but look on while I separated them.

There was another occasion when my boyfriend was walking her where a scrap almost started but he was sure who initiated it.

Since then I have been so scared to let her off the lead when other dogs are around. When I take her to the park my heart starts pumping fast and I'm constantly looking around to see how close other dogs are. Even when I bumped into another dog owner with his staff who Chelsea has known and played with since he was a tiny puppy, I could relax and let them play. I just kept pulling her away every time they attempted to go near each other. I know i'm probably making her wary and making her think something isn't right every time another dog is around, I know i'm making it worse but I just can't help it. But she just loves running around and I hate to stop her from doing that but she only seems to get a few minutes to run freely and once another dog gets too close I have to get her on the lead and walk away. Should I just get the longest retractable lead I can find so I know she can't bolt off? She DOES listen to me and does come back when I call her but there's the odd time when she's excited to play that she doesn't.

When other dog walkers see me quickly putting her back on the lead I hate that they probably think she's aggressive and vicious which doesn't help the reputation of her breed but I am just so scared!

I understand your waryness, I dont let Diesel off lead anymore in our local park where all the dog walkers go, there has been too many dog attacks for starters and I like to have some degree of control on lead when she says hello to other dogs.... maby a long lead [like a 10m] would be good ? she can run off a bit but u still have hold of her shoudl something happen...and youre right - she will pick up on ur feelings, which could in turn make her anxious...

I have no real advise for you - ive luckily not experienced as fight as such between 2 dogs, im sure someone will be along soon to give you some help.

Jackieb wrote:I understand your waryness, I dont let Diesel off lead anymore in our local park where all the dog walkers go, there has been too many dog attacks for starters and I like to have some degree of control on lead when she says hello to other dogs.... maby a long lead [like a 10m] would be good ? she can run off a bit but u still have hold of her shoudl something happen...and youre right - she will pick up on ur feelings, which could in turn make her anxious...

I have no real advise for you - ive luckily not experienced as fight as such between 2 dogs, im sure someone will be along soon to give you some help.

It's annoying because some dog owners avoid letting their dogs near her anyway before I started panicking (mostly owners of small dogs) and I don't want to give them the wrong impression of her or the breed in general but it's so difficult getting over this anxious feeling!

Thanks for your reply

I so know where you are coming from. I have had to work really hard at not being anxious and remaining calm and in charge when Ty is off the lead and meeting new dogs. Even though I know he is well socialised and not at all agressive, if I see a dog I dont know that looks a little pushy I freak out and rush to put to back on the lead. I know that this is the wrong move and it is me who needs to calm down and let them get on with it without my nervous energy causing problems.

I have found that listing to music with earphones (still keeping an eye on them though) helps to balance my energy when they are running around off lead.

Ty wrote:I so know where you are coming from. I have had to work really hard at not being anxious and remaining calm and in charge when Ty is off the lead and meeting new dogs. Even though I know he is well socialised and not at all agressive, if I see a dog I dont know that looks a little pushy I freak out and rush to put to back on the lead. I know that this is the wrong move and it is me who needs to calm down and let them get on with it without my nervous energy causing problems.

I have found that listing to music with earphones (still keeping an eye on them though) helps to balance my energy when they are running around off lead.

When I listen to music I have to stop because I feel like I need to be aware of any dogs that might wander over so I need to be able to hear if one comes up behind us.

I think I will try and find a nice strong and long retractable lead. Then she'll get to have a run and I won't have a panic attack!

we keep our 2 on retactable leads on the park they only get off on the football field cos no one takes their dogs up there. lemmy used to play nice with all the other dogs but no there are some new ones and i will avoid anything at any cost.

Hi Nikki, Have you tried practicing some controlled meetings on lead? Start introducing her to other dogs nose to tail, not head to head. Let them sniff for 3-5 seconds then move away and loads of praise and reward if she has stayed calm. You can build up the time and this may help you both become more relaxed and confident around other dogs. Most dog owners are willing to help if you ask them If you can just introduce your dog calmly for a few seconds, I hope you find something that works for you both.
Claire

kelpie wrote:Hi Nikki, Have you tried practicing some controlled meetings on lead? Start introducing her to other dogs nose to tail, not head to head. Let them sniff for 3-5 seconds then move away and loads of praise and reward if she has stayed calm. You can build up the time and this may help you both become more relaxed and confident around other dogs. Most dog owners are willing to help if you ask them If you can just introduce your dog calmly for a few seconds, I hope you find something that works for you both.
Claire

Well to be honest i'm not sure there actually IS a problem with her, she's spent her whole life playing with other dogs, ones she knows and ones she doesn't know. I think the problem is more with me because there's been a couple of incidents where I THINK the other dog may have started it, plus other dogs in the park aren't usually on leads so they aren't being controlled by their owners. I think i'm more scared one of them will snap at her but because of her breed I think people will automatically blame her. Plus if a smaller dog starts she could easily kill it, and if a bigger dog starts then i'm worried she'll get hurt, and from past experience I know breaking up dogs is very hard and dangerous.

Thank you for your reply

Sounds like its your problem and not Chelsea's. Romeos been involved in several fights, none of them started by him and he's still perfectly amicable. He actually had another staff go for him today and he defended himself but came immediately when I called him to me. Neither dog was harmed.
You need to learn her body language and to trust her again. Let her play with dogs you know are soft and always check with the owners first. I very much doubt she would kill a small dog, my dog completely ignores small breeds as beneath his notice.
If your park is full of terrible owners then I suggest you find somewhere more relaxing where you and Chelsea can walk.
She will pick up on your nerves and it won't help her state of mind at all. I think its unfair that she should suffer because of your nervousness.

Hi Nikki, I get your point the exercise i suggested is designed to help the owner probably more than the dog, By introducing dogs this way on a lead and calmly, it allows you to see the body language that dogs exhibit and learn what is normal so that you don't panic and react too quickly. By keeping meetings brief n short you can increase them as you relax more hopefully then any worrying feelings you have lessen and you stay more positive for Chelsea. By praising her for coming away with you, should a negative situation arise you can get in early to call her away before it reaches a dog fight. I appreciate this isn't always the way but it helps boost your confidence. Anyway I'll leave it there, I'm sure these wonderful guys have a lot more useful tips that may be more suitable. Good Luck

Here is a link on body language

http://staffy-bull-terrier.co.uk/dogbodylanguage.html

You dog will sense your energy and if you are nervous she may feel as if you need to be protected. You will have to remain calm and learn to read body language to see if there is a potential issue and interviene if neccessary.

That being said you don't have to let her interact with every dog. It is okay for her to have just a few trusted friends to interact off lead with and keep her on lead with other dogs.

shakespearesdog wrote:Sounds like its your problem and not Chelsea's. Romeos been involved in several fights, none of them started by him and he's still perfectly amicable. He actually had another staff go for him today and he defended himself but came immediately when I called him to me. Neither dog was harmed.
You need to learn her body language and to trust her again. Let her play with dogs you know are soft and always check with the owners first. I very much doubt she would kill a small dog, my dog completely ignores small breeds as beneath his notice.
If your park is full of terrible owners then I suggest you find somewhere more relaxing where you and Chelsea can walk.
She will pick up on your nerves and it won't help her state of mind at all. I think its unfair that she should suffer because of your nervousness.

I totally agree with your last point there, that's why i'm trying to get help. When I mentioned her killing a small dog, I meant she would be capable, not that she would try to. My boyfriends mum has three small dogs and one of them started with her causing quite a stir, both going for each other. If I hadn't been quick enough she could have easily seriously hurt him or killed him. It only takes one bite in the right place. She's played with plenty of small dogs before, I just meant if one went for her, her response could result in something horrible.

kelpie wrote:Hi Nikki, I get your point the exercise i suggested is designed to help the owner probably more than the dog, By introducing dogs this way on a lead and calmly, it allows you to see the body language that dogs exhibit and learn what is normal so that you don't panic and react too quickly. By keeping meetings brief n short you can increase them as you relax more hopefully then any worrying feelings you have lessen and you stay more positive for Chelsea. By praising her for coming away with you, should a negative situation arise you can get in early to call her away before it reaches a dog fight. I appreciate this isn't always the way but it helps boost your confidence. Anyway I'll leave it there, I'm sure these wonderful guys have a lot more useful tips that may be more suitable. Good Luck

thanks so much for your help. I will try to give this a go. It's just hard as most other dogs in the park are off the lead and are a fair distance from their owner, so when one approaches Chelsea I can't speak with their owner about trying to introduce them on the lead etc. But I will keep an eye out for dogs on the lead and try this. Thanks again!

jstaff wrote:Here is a link on body language

http://staffy-bull-terrier.co.uk/dogbodylanguage.html

You dog will sense your energy and if you are nervous she may feel as if you need to be protected. You will have to remain calm and learn to read body language to see if there is a potential issue and interviene if neccessary.

That being said you don't have to let her interact with every dog. It is okay for her to have just a few trusted friends to interact off lead with and keep her on lead with other dogs.

thank you very much for the link, I will give it a read in a minute

That's a good point about having a few mates. We have just moved to a totally new area so hopefully we will meet some soon.

It really does help to know a few responsible handlers so your dog can interact with theirs. It will help your stress level as well

jstaff wrote:It really does help to know a few responsible handlers so your dog can interact with theirs. It will help your stress level as well

Yeah I can imagine. Unfortunately I don't know any dog owners here (other than my boyfriend's mum but her dogs are barely trained for anything and constantly misbehave.. I've never disliked dogs more!) let alone responsible owners.

You could try Facebook or llok around different dog parks. Your vet might also be able to recommend a place or contact

jstaff wrote:You could try Facebook or llok around different dog parks. Your vet might also be able to recommend a place or contact

I will have a look around and enquire. Thanks!

Jstaff has covered what I would say. That link is really useful.

I can empathise, all the foster dogs I have had there is that moment when out walking and we come across another dog...I was slightly tense and the dogs would pick that up. Interestingly though, despite their 'reputation' and other walkers subsequent reaction, I have found that it is often the other dog that starts it. Staffies are known as 'silent attackers', they don't tend to bark and growl etc.

Our dogs pick up our signals, the subtle body language that we don't notice. I used to act confident and ignore other dogs, even if they bark. Walk straight past them and correct the foster dog if they reacted. When they followed my lead, I would then begin to work on socialising them.

The issue is, once they start reacting to other dogs, it is difficult to fix. It is much easier to nip it in the bud. In addition to Jstaff's advice, make sure you are the boss in all the other areas. I recently had Sasha's owner call me saying she was getting aggressive on walks. It turned out Sasha was grazing, getting an extra meal because she was begging and always lead the way outside and inside (going through doors, demanding fusses). Basically, she was the pack leader. We addressed all these subtleties and the protectiveness has since tailed off.

It doesn't work for every dog. Tess wasn't socialised at all, she was awful and always attacked other dogs if they invaded her space. This meant we couldn't build her confidence and we just had to adapt our walking routine to avoid others. She was such an amazing dog apart from that issue.

NatureClip wrote:Jstaff has covered what I would say. That link is really useful.

I can empathise, all the foster dogs I have had there is that moment when out walking and we come across another dog...I was slightly tense and the dogs would pick that up. Interestingly though, despite their 'reputation' and other walkers subsequent reaction, I have found that it is often the other dog that starts it. Staffies are known as 'silent attackers', they don't tend to bark and growl etc.

Our dogs pick up our signals, the subtle body language that we don't notice. I used to act confident and ignore other dogs, even if they bark. Walk straight past them and correct the foster dog if they reacted. When they followed my lead, I would then begin to work on socialising them.

The issue is, once they start reacting to other dogs, it is difficult to fix. It is much easier to nip it in the bud. In addition to Jstaff's advice, make sure you are the boss in all the other areas. I recently had Sasha's owner call me saying she was getting aggressive on walks. It turned out Sasha was grazing, getting an extra meal because she was begging and always lead the way outside and inside (going through doors, demanding fusses). Basically, she was the pack leader. We addressed all these subtleties and the protectiveness has since tailed off.

It doesn't work for every dog. Tess wasn't socialised at all, she was awful and always attacked other dogs if they invaded her space. This meant we couldn't build her confidence and we just had to adapt our walking routine to avoid others. She was such an amazing dog apart from that issue.

I read another article called "he just wants to say hi!" or something like that which highlighted a lot of the body language etc and it was helpful. I think it may take me a while but with all of your help I hope I can get a grip and relax more. In the mean time I will get a long lead so she can still have a run.
I do find it a little rude though if an owner can see as they've gotten closer I have put my dog on a lead, but they still allow their dog to come leaping over, or sometimes they even throw a ball in our direction basically telling the dog to come over. If I noticed an owner was uncomfortable with my dog coming over to theirs then I wouldn't allow it.

I know exactly what you mean! I'm the same. So many people just let their dogs go bounding over to other dogs in the park without so much as an excuse-me-do-you-mind-if-my-dog-plays-with-yours!

It really annoys me!

I feel the same. I guess it comes down to consideration for other people. Some people are afraid of dogs (even cute and cuddly) so that is why if I see someone, I put them on the lead. Some dog owners don't consider other owners or park users.

If they have a dog of their own and I don't know them, I still prefer to put them on the lead just in case. On the flip side, I appreciate the argument that dogs can feel 'trapped' and behave worse on a lead. If that is the case, they need to be trained to stay at heal and have excellent recall around distractions.

Nikki, have you tried yoga or something similar to help you relax? Also practice makes perfect. The more you are around other dogs the more confident you become all of which your dog will sense.