Help really needed please...

First topic message reminder :

hi all

River has just bit my daughters lip and drew blood, now i dont know what to do?? i was in the room there was no growling, or barking, my daughter just went to kiss her on the head and she bit her lip. i have told river no calmly, and said bed then closed the door on her create with a blanket over her to give her a time out.. what do i do now????

Steve wrote: maybe your daughter did something wrong all dog will bite if someone doing something they dont like dont matter how trained the yare.

I think maybe River was just totally claustrophobic with the cuddles & kisses. Not your daughter's fault, but neither was it River's fault, really. Your daughter's too young to read a dog's body language & she almost certainly missed a subtle warning.

I think what you're doing is totally right & I'm sure you'll all come through it with a lovely companion for all the family.

didnt know about the nose licking we learn something new every day

_julie_ wrote:didnt know about the nose licking we learn something new every day

That's new one on me, too.

im not a behaviourist but river doesnt look very happy at all with being cuddled in your profile pic.
what was the book called you got off amazon please, i wouldnt mind reading up on dogs behaviour

Steve wrote:are you sure it was a bite or was it a head butt?

my dogs are forever headbutting me..

clio gave me a fat lip once , heads are like rock and they dont have to hit hard

this is the book

On Talking Terms with Dogs: Calming Signals - Turid Rugaas

no she doesnt look happy in the picture im gonna change it we only had her 5 days then and she hates her picture being taken at all. i will have to take some new ones of her.

not cos she hates them lol...that last sentence sounded horrible, i meant i will have to take some new ones off her outside when she is not paying attention lol

clio is a nightmare when it comes to have her pic taken she just doesnt stay still when outdoors and when i bribe her to "stay" with a ball or a treat she gets so excited it looks like she been jacking up on drugs, her eyes are nearly popping out

Read through some of this, this morning and read the new posts now. Didn't get chance to post this morning because I am supposed to be revising

Just want to say that I am so sorry to hear this, but sounds like you have great advice and I am so pleased that you aren't just giving up at the first hurdle. Good luck with your meeting with the behaviourist, let us know how you get on.

Tinkerbell is also a rehomed dog, but we do kind of know her background. We know she was bought up with children, young one's same age as mine. She is therefore used to the way they run around, move quickly, hug her tight etc and doesn't seem to have a problem with it. It sounds like maybe your River isn't used to younger children and she shows this in her anxiety. I do also agree that she sounds to be jealous of your bond with your daughter and the bond she shows with your son makes me wonder if maybe she was a one owner dog. This doesn't mean she can't be loved by a family, but like you know it is going to take her a long time to get used to all the changes going on.

We rehomed Tinker in August and I have to say it is only now she is showing her true colours (good one's). For the last couple of months she has been very calm, didn't really play with toys, never chewed etc. As my 4 year old would say she had the look on her face which says she wasn't having a good day. But this was every day, she always looked sad, didn't wag her tail much etc. Now she has learned to trust us she is happy to be here, she greets us when we come home, wags her tail an awful lot, plays with toys and is even confident enough here to rip her bed to bits every day lol. What I am trying to say is that she has taken a long time to adjust to being rehomed, as I am sure River will. River is coming on great with you, but she will have concerns and anxieties for a while yet.

Tinker gets hugged by my 2 year old, ridden like a horse (he is stopped every time straightaway), the 2 year old gets in her crate with her, they cuddle her so much sometimes I do wonder how she puts up with it. I know when she has had enough by her body language, very minimal but it is there. The kids are then told to leave her. We do try to stop them hugging her so much, playing with her etc and have told them both that she needs time to sleep etc. But with them both being so young, 2 year old especially, he doesn't always get it. Luckily she is obviously used to it and hasn't hurt them or warned them, but then maybe that's because I have never let it get that far because I watch them both like a hawk incase they hurt each other.

Suppose what I am trying to say is maybe River isn't used to being cuddled by a young child, fussed over etc. But you are doing the right thing by explaining to your daughter she needs time to rest etc. Like someone else said myabe the signs were there but they were missed because they were subtle. Not sounding mean here, but maybe the small bite may help teach your daughter to leave her when she is resting. Hope she is ok though and it hasn't affected her relationship with River in a negative sense.

aww that pic of clio is fantastic...i love it...even with the largish eyes,

thank you scubasteve for your imput and hope the revision went well. i hate revision myself its pants:(( give me an essay any day. i think if we had her from a pup it would be diffrent but your right its all about adjustment for us both

i think your right, i dunno about the one owner bit, cos she has had litters of babys but then i suppose it could be done by one person. or one person that did the handling of her

i agree that it helped to teach my daughter and i do think more and more thats whas its purpose, River has been left alone today apart from she went to my daughter and i told laney to sit in front of her and tickle her chin ( apprently they like that and see it as a form of affection. they dont really get the whole kissing and cuddling makarchy) which laney did and river responded well. i guess i will never really know what happened in her previous home i can only go but how she reacts now. thank you for giving me hope that one day she will be ok. i am hoping if i do everything the behviour ist says she will be a happy doggy, river does look sad all the time. i think i went wrong as well cos i was trying to love her to make her feel at home, when what she needed was to feel safe and secure but as from today i am putting that right. i was also told that when they sleep with there backs to you it means they are truly at ease and resting which is what she is doing now, i have been told its all about respect and i need to get that back with her. by doing what i have been she has lost respect for me. which maybe in turn made her think she was higher ranking than she needsd to think she is ( think in terms of wolf packs) so this all needs to be put right

I am putting in the effort and time cos she is apart of our family. i wont ever trust her 100% with laney, but then what humans trust each other 100%

next week i am going to start clicker training with her as once i have her respect back she will be a lot easier to train, this is all meant to take about a month..it will be hard work there will most likey be set backs but i am assuming i may have river for at least another 10 years so whats a month.

still i am going to read this book when it comes, start the training and listen to the man in the know, he has worked with dogs for 25 years and i know ppl who have used him and say he is fantastic and there dogs are like a whole different dog. some of might not agree with the things i have said, but i believe he is right so i will give his way a whirl and see what happens. i am so looking forward to getting stuck i with river thank you all once more. nighty night dont let the bed bugs bite.

flame wrote: by doing what i have been she has lost respect for me. which maybe in turn made her think she was higher ranking than she needsd to think she is ( think in terms of wolf packs) so this all needs to be put right

Don't get bogged down by the whole 'wolf pack' thing. Forget the hierarchy. A dog is a dog and a human is a human, and believe it or not, they know that!

What a dog needs is discipline and boundaries. Firmess & fairness. They must know absolutely what is or isn't allowed. But they should also feel able to go away from their human family & rest or even sulk in peace! Training will help her to settle in more quickly, and you can even involve your daughter in that. Clicker training is a great way for a child to train a dog because they will find clicking & treating a lot easier than telling a dog it's good!

River doesn't sound a bad dog, she sounds a bit confused and anxious - but that's to be expected, she hasn't been with you long.

Good luck with the behaviourist & the training - I'm sure she'll come on leaps & bounds (not literally, I hope!).

flame wrote:aww that pic of clio is fantastic...i love it...even with the largish eyes,

thank you scubasteve for your imput and hope the revision went well. i hate revision myself its pants:(( give me an essay any day. i think if we had her from a pup it would be diffrent but your right its all about adjustment for us both

i think your right, i dunno about the one owner bit, cos she has had litters of babys but then i suppose it could be done by one person. or one person that did the handling of her

i agree that it helped to teach my daughter and i do think more and more thats whas its purpose, River has been left alone today apart from she went to my daughter and i told laney to sit in front of her and tickle her chin ( apprently they like that and see it as a form of affection. they dont really get the whole kissing and cuddling makarchy) which laney did and river responded well. i guess i will never really know what happened in her previous home i can only go but how she reacts now. thank you for giving me hope that one day she will be ok. i am hoping if i do everything the behviour ist says she will be a happy doggy, river does look sad all the time. i think i went wrong as well cos i was trying to love her to make her feel at home, when what she needed was to feel safe and secure but as from today i am putting that right. i was also told that when they sleep with there backs to you it means they are truly at ease and resting which is what she is doing now, i have been told its all about respect and i need to get that back with her. by doing what i have been she has lost respect for me. which maybe in turn made her think she was higher ranking than she needsd to think she is ( think in terms of wolf packs) so this all needs to be put right

I am putting in the effort and time cos she is apart of our family. i wont ever trust her 100% with laney, but then what humans trust each other 100%

next week i am going to start clicker training with her as once i have her respect back she will be a lot easier to train, this is all meant to take about a month..it will be hard work there will most likey be set backs but i am assuming i may have river for at least another 10 years so whats a month.

still i am going to read this book when it comes, start the training and listen to the man in the know, he has worked with dogs for 25 years and i know ppl who have used him and say he is fantastic and there dogs are like a whole different dog. some of might not agree with the things i have said, but i believe he is right so i will give his way a whirl and see what happens. i am so looking forward to getting stuck i with river thank you all once more. nighty night dont let the bed bugs bite.

Thanks for the good luck, I am well prepared to fail Pass rate for students each year is really low. We have a rubbish lecturer (I know blaming my tools) but he is so well educated he expects you to understand him. Nobody in the class does, it's the same every year yet they still keep him on. Even the programme leader has admitted it's the same each year with students failing to understand the module.

Good luck with it all though. The book sounds great may purchase it for summer reading, daren't get it now or I will never get any uni work done