10 Year Old Commits Suicide Because of Bullying

Family and friends say sweet girl, 10, who killed herself didn’t deserve harsh bullying
BY KATIE J.M. BAKER WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 16, 2011

Five days after a 10-year-old Illinois girl hanged herself in her bedroom closet out of a desperation brought on by bullying, The Daily has learned more about why she was targeted as well as details about how her school turned a blind eye to her plight.

Melissa Patterson, the outraged mother of Ashlynn Conner’s best friend, said classmates had recently called Ashlynn a “*” after she talked to another male classmate while temporarily broken up with her long-term “boyfriend,” whom she had been close with for years.

“Ashlynn never actually did anything bad or started any trouble,” Patterson said. “But those kids still wouldn’t leave her alone.”

Ashlynn’s friends and family describe her as a kind, cheerful girl who did nothing to incite the bullying she received.

Both the state of Illinois and the Georgetown School District have strict anti-bullying policies. The district even “encourages all members of the school community ... to report alleged acts of bullying, intimidation, harassment, and other acts of actual or threatened violence.”

But parents and counselors say school officials rarely abide by the policies and instead tell children to “stop tattling” on their peers — the same reprimand that Ashlynn allegedly received the week before she committed suicide.

Vermilion County Coroner Peggy Johnson said yesterday that the final results of the autopsy won’t be ready for some time but it appears she took her own life Friday night. She was found dead in her closet a half hour after telling a friend she had been teased at school.

Melissa Shepherd, a counselor that met with students at Ashlynn’s former school, Ridge Farm Elementary, on Monday, said the hardest part of her day was how the tragedy “hit home.”

“Just two weeks ago, I was at my own child’s school dealing with a similar bullying issue,” Shepherd told The Daily. “I go in there [to school officials] all of the time, and they just tell me, ‘We’ll take care of it.’ But they never do.”

Shepherd, who regularly counsels children at Georgetown schools, said that bullying happens “way more than people realize.” She had never met with Ashlynn before, but said she often saw her in the hallways.

Those hallways, Shepherd said, are now filled with somber silence instead of the usual chaos and laughter.

“The kids I spoke to were shut down,” she said. “They all asked me ‘why?” And it was very difficult for me, as a therapist, to tell them.”

On Monday, Ridge Farm Elementary notified parents via an emergency hotline that they would hold an assembly to discuss Ashlynn’s death.

But that assembly did not cover bullying “in the slightest,” Patterson said. “I don’t think the school feels like they have any responsibility whatsoever or that they’ve done anything wrong.”

Adding insult to injury, later that night, the school board held a meeting at the same time as a planned candlelight vigil for Ashlynn.

Dozens of people showed up to discuss bullying prevention, even though that was not the issue the board intended to discuss.

“We have to do something with this, we cannot let her life be in vain, this is an opening to help others,” Lucas Conner, Ashlynn’s uncle, beseeched the members, according to the Commercial-News.

In a statement, school board President Cheryl Kestufskie told the audience: “We know there is a great deal of discussion about what role ‘bullying’ may have played in this tragedy. We are confident that the police will shed light on this matter.”

Ridge Farm Elementary officials contacted by The Daily declined to comment and directed questions to the district superintendent, Kevin Tate. Tate’s office phone number rang endlessly all afternoon without going to a voicemail account.

Patterson said her daughter was also routinely bullied, and Ashlynn encouraged her to break out of her shell.

“My daughter never cared to have friends or go outside and play until she met Ashlynn,” Patterson said. “And then, all of the sudden, she wanted to join all of the activities Ashlynn was involved in, like band and cheerleading and chorus.”

Patterson described her daughter as “destroyed” from the loss. “She wrote on Facebook that she wanted to die, too.”

Frustrated with Ridge Farm Elementary’s lack of response, some parents are mobilizing via social media. Tony Garrison, a father who lives in nearby Henning, created the Ashlynn Conner Anti-Bullying Foundation Facebook page to push policy changes that would hold schools more accountable.

He told The Daily he was shocked by the number of stories local families have shared through the group.

“What we’re all hearing is that the schools don’t want the kids tattling,” he said. Garrison himself recently pulled his son out of a nearby school after the principal told the preteen that he was tired of hearing about his bullying woes.

“I have heard the world ‘tattling’ so many times that I’m ready to pull my hair out,” Garrison said.

http://www.thedaily.com/page/2011/11/16/111611-news-girl-suicide-1-3/

Here's an other article with more details: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/ct-met-hanging-death-1117-20111117,0,1265711.story


This story is absolutely heartbreaking. I am in tears. I can't believe the school told this little girl who was being tormented to stop "tattling" on her peers.

OMG.....I don't know what to say

That is heart-breaking, to think that children can push another of their peers to do such a thing.
More needs to be done to educate children and there parents on the impact of bullying. Nobody likes "put downs" of any sort, and to think what this girl was feeling to take her own life leaves me numb. The poor girl....and now her poor family are left without there precious daughter, all because the kids thought it was "fun" to give her a hard time over something.

If you are a parent, please sit down and speak to your kids about the lasting effects of bullying....and make them sit back and think how they would feel if the same taunts were aimed at them.

Sorry, I feel as if I am rambling here but this has struck a nerve with me.

BULLYING must stop....

Thoughts are with her family

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Thoughts and prayers go out to the family. This was much less of a problem when I was in school. It was still there but not nearly as severe as today espcially when you consider there is now cyberbullying.

that is terrible, my thoughts are with the family at this sad time

This moved me to tears. Bullying, unfortunately, has got sooooo much worse in the last few years, its not just name calling anymore. I dread to think what would happen if any of my chidren were bullied and I've already told my 8 year old daughter that she wil be severely punished if she bullies anyone.

That is heartbreaking. There are so many campaigns trying to encourage children to speak out when it's happening because often they are too scared of the repercussions to say anything. That this girl had the courage and was ignored and told not to tattle is disgusting. My thoughts are with her family.

Poor, poor child, what must she have been going through to go to that extreme? My thoughts & prayers are with this family. They didn't deserve to lose such a young child like that.

I've never allowed either of my two kids to bully, and I've always encouraged them to tell me if they feel that they are being bullied. Once or twice I've had to have a quiet word with a child's parent about nasty things being said to my daughter especially (my son never really cared what others called him). Mostly my words have been greeted by shock & embarrassment that their child would do such a thing.

this is terrible. but I am not surprised about the school, as a relief teacher I see a lot of schools that really talk up their anti-bullying policies and what not but when you're in the school watching the day to day things happening, its not really dealt with the way it should be. hell, I have seen teachers bullying other staff members.

When I was in year 11 in 2005 a boy in my year committed suicide, he had been bullied throughout high school and I never even knew it. the principal spoke at his funeral and made a big speech about the school and their anti bullying policies and how the school would not let it happen again etc... I was appalled... that he would do this at the funeral it was so sad.

I drive past Daniel's (the boy who committed suicide) house all the time and just think about him and his family. I get very upset thinking about it

Terrible and so sad this should not happen in todays society its not right that children should feel so let down they have to resort to this