When will it stop?

So it's been 2 1/2 months since we had to say bye to Knox and I'm STILL crying. I still feel so terrible for putting him to sleep and I just burst into tears at any given moment. It's getting me some right weird looks. Sat at the traffic lights yesterday balling my eyes out with the guy in the car next to me looking at me with a confused and concerned look on his face. Had to try and flash him a smile, bet I looked like a right psychotic mess

Monday a friend of mine shared someones facebook status advertising their 2 year old staffy bitch "free to a good" home. Followed by another friend tagging me in he post saying "I know it's obvious but have you asked Vikki and Matt?". I just lost it. The guy got a right tongue lashing off me. I told him he was inconsiderate and that he should think about what he's posting. I also went mental at the post offering her "free to a good home" saying that I think it's disgusting how people can just GIVE an dog away when it will probably end up as a bait dog if it's free! I then proceeded to ball my eyes out thinking about my boy and how much I miss him.

Now sat at work typing this and again crying but trying to hide it so people don't think I'm a mental case. It's like no one understands.

When will it stop?!

Oh Vikki my heart goes out to you. I don't think the pain ever truly goes away but it does lessen so much and you will start to remember the good times you had.
Its obvious how much you loved Knox and you made the painful but right choice to put his needs above yours. That is true love, putting someone before yourself even though you know it will hurt you. That is how much Knox meant to you and that is what you should remember. You gave him the ultimate gift of taking his pain away. Remember that, the day will come where you think of him and dont cry. It might take a while but it will happen. It took me several years when I lost my lab I had for sixteen years. Its only in the last few years that I can speak her name without tears coming. You will get there, remember there are no rules on grief. You have lost someone you love, of course it will hurt but after this pain there will come laughter again when you remember the happy times you shared. X (ps now I'm crying at my desk in work too!)

I think it is different for everyone but I still miss each of my dogs that have passed. My wife cried for quite awhile when Betty died and I was mostly okay in about 2 days. I think the fact that I have dealt with so much loss in life that was the difference in time.

I don't think I've cried this much over the humans I've lost

No hen we all act and feel differently all takes time i feel for u hen i really do i hope in time your pain eases hugs from me and mia

to you Vikki, Knox wasn't just a dog he was your baby & a big part of your life I don't even want to think about that day with Katy

There is no time limit, truthfully. I still cry over my loss it was much like yours but I know in my heart we did the right thing because he had gotten so sick and there was nothing we could no longer do for him. It hurt then, it hurts now and likely will always hurt. My heart goes out to you and again I am sorry. HUGS!

XOXOXO

It's not just a dog they are family members which we love so dearly they say times a healer but how long does it take never there are always there were ever you go just think of the treasured times you had its heart braking thinking of you all x.

XOXOX to all x

I saw a lady talking on itv a few mornings ago at work, saying that she mourned her dog for a year. Everybody grieves differently, I can't even imagine how I'd cope with losing Bug, but I think Sheila is going through something similar with the loss of her Stella.

Perhaps working through some of your feelings with a counsellor may be helpful to you?

Vikki,  I totally understand how you feel and would just like to tell you how I coped with the overwhelming feelings I had.
The first 3 months after Stella was put to sleep were the worst.  I just totally missed her being around me and wanted to just feel her, touch her, stroke her.  I cried a great deal whenever I thought about her and eventually hid this from my husband as I could see this was causing tension.  I found it hard to see him acting somewhat normal and worried that I wasn't  getting better.
We were able to sort that problem out however by being more open with each other and understanding that we are all different and each person needs their own time to grieve.

I am retired and I did keep busy in the house with renovations, redecorating etc but found myself  still crying, thinking about her.  So, what I needed to do was to completely engage my brain in something else and found reading a good interesting book helped,  a book that I couldn't put down stopped me thinking and crying.

I went to see my doctor after six months about another matter and he helped me enormously.  I suffer from depression and realising this was part of my problem was a big stepping stone for me in dealing with grief.  We all need our own time.
I was advised to not visit her "spot" where we laid some of her ashes, as much  (I was going nearly every day, bloody stupid really as we have some of her ashes at home)

As the year progressed,  I constantly looked back and thought   "at this time last year, she was....."   remembering the start of her illness, her bad days,  her vet visits etc
But now the year has passed, I can honestly say I feel much better.  I've had a good holiday and the pain has definitely eased.   You may feel better earlier than the time it's taken me, or longer,  it doesn't matter.  I think that the lady Rachel saw on tv could have been me. Shame I missed it

You know what I feel Vikki?  Our love of animals comes from hoping they understand all that we do for them is because we love them so much.  

Knox was deeply loved, as was Stella and both will have known that and that's all that matters.
Take care Vikki, you are not alone xx

10 weeks really isn't very long Vikki, we all grieve differently. Sheila's post above is perhaps the best thing to help you though I'm sure you'll find your own way of moving forward.

I know from experience that suddenly the grief recedes and are replaced with memories, good memories. That time will come and you won't even realise it

You ladies have made me shed a tear reading the above, my heart truly goes out to you both. I know this is a different scenario but I lost my Mum start of last year and I can cry at the drop of a hat over her, I know I would be 100% the same if/when I lost/lose Koda, he truly is the love of my life as is evident Knox and Stella is for you both. What helped me get through was when someone told me grief has no time limit, I was being far too hard on myself thinking I should be 'over it' by now, I am 18 months further down the track now but will never be over it, in time it will get a little easier but it's vital you allow yourself to cry & release when you need to, your body knows best. I am sending you both big hugs, they may not seem much but they are from the heart. We are all here for you, any time xoxo

when my guys pass i will be a basket case i now that for sure. how long it takes to get over them...never

Thanks all. Still in bits and reading these messages makes me worse and better all at the same time!

Sheila I'm so sorry for your loss hun

Big hugs to all xx

i miss my old dogs and think of them EVERY DAY. i love them dearly, and they will be in my heart until the day i die...I can't think of them for more than 10 seconds without getting teary....they've been gone for 15 years..
You WILL get over your loss, and you will always have a special place in your heart just for Knox...The love will never die and you will be left with warm, loving and happy memories..It just takes time..for me, I'll be honest, it was a gradual process for a couple of years...and i 100% agree with you about the dog vs human remark...I loved my staffies MORE then almost any other human ive ever known, and this is a shocking thing to say, but it hurt more when they died, than when my own mother died.

Thanks for your kind words Si. I just hate getting sad thinking about him. I want to be able to look back and think of all the happy times we spent together and smile and laugh about it. Sometimes this happens and then I feel so so so bad about laughing about our times together. i can't speak to people about him without my voice going wobbly or tears in my eyes (which is what is happening right now).

I think what makes it worse is that I HAD to make that decision to have my put to sleep and he didn't just die of old age or natural causes. I will never have another dog 1. because they won't be him, he had such a human personality, indivdual! and 2, because I couldn't risk putting myself through the heartache again. All I've had is people telling me to "get another dog", he wasn't just a dog to me, he was my everything x

This happened to me and my family our max was 15 years old so time had come to do the right thing all he was doing was sleeping and his poor eyes (upset now thinking of him ) we knew it was time to have him put down the bloody hardest thing we've had to do in our lives walking out that vets with his lead and collar so upset writing this .well we have a picture of max on our wall and look at him every day this gives us comfort thinking of all the great times we all shared with him .then we had beau witch we adore completely different to max but love all the same.

Oh Vikki sounds normal hun as others have said we are all different, and yes can understand why you lost it just take yer time hun xx

To me only a non dog owner or never owned animal would say get another dog , well.. If anyone ever says to me you'll get another dog ill probably knock them into next week all takes time vikki take your time hen.

Vikki, i've read through these posts again and, as per usual i'm welling up thinking about what you're going through and remembering my old four legged friends....i ache for those dogs, i really do....
In fact, for years i debated about getting another play mate...over 10 years..and i've even had a few teary moments with my puppy when he reminds me of things that my other dogs used to do, facial expressions, noises..anything...
If my dearly departed Staffs walked into the room this very second, it would be the most natural, wonderful thing in the world....sometimes, i would give anything to just hold them in my arms one last time. and have a sniff of their heads and give them a kiss....
You may feel like you could never have another dog because the pain of loss is far too great...your beautiful Knox IS irreplaceable, and if you decided to have another dog, then hopefully that would be the start of another love story..
For now, i wouldn't worry about how you feel, or even think about getting or not getting another pet...just let your emotions work through their process.
One of my friends had a Doberman..She passed away 10 years ago, and he still keeps her collar in the door of his car, and her photo is in the living room with the other family photographs...When i was deliberating about buying my little man he started reminiscing about her and sure enough, he ended up choking back the tears...We're all the same..

A final thought Vikki: Remember that for as long as you live, Knox will never truly die. He will always remain with you, in your heart and in your thoughts. Time can never erase the love you feel for him.

All the best
xx

(you can always have a cuddle of my little Spudleybug if it helps...but he'll probably nip you and steal your slippers!)
x

OMG I know exactly what you're going through. I still cry over my beloved Bree who was put to sleep 2 years ago and although I adopted Milo 2 weeks after I lost her and who I love to bits I still miss her and always will. I constantly cried like you too at first over the slightest thing, even certain music would set me off but it does get less although having read your post just now set me off again. It will gradually get easier but I don't think it ever goes away. Having Milo has definitely helped bless him.

Love you all xxx