Biting me when my Husband isn't around.

Hi I was wondering if anyone has had this problem before? My 16 month old staffy boy has started barking at me then showing his teeth and nipping me. He hasn't drawn any blood but he has bruised me. He has done this a couple of times. My husband works nights so it's me and my youngest daughter with our dog during the day.

For the last few months he has been barking at my husband but he soon realises he has done wrong as my husbands puts him in the hall and does not give him any attention. Despite this he will still bark at my husband. We can't really pinpoint anything that is setting him off and we're not sure if he thinks he is playing? I also maybe thought that when my husband goes to get him to put him in the hall that he thinks this is a game as my husband obviously goes after him and he runs off? Could this be why he keeps barking as he thinks it's fun as 'dad' gets up and chases him?

I have tried to put him in the hall but he will still nip at me. It's breaking my heart as I know he is a good dog and I don't know why he has started doing this. Could it be an age thing?
I have been advised to make our boy "know who is boss" by hitting him with a slipper or something, but I do not want to do this as I think it is extremely cruel and also I have read that it can make dogs aggressive if they are shown aggression. We have never hit him and we do not want to start! Another suggestion was to get a water gun and spray him when he barks? I'm told this can work but not all the time?

He has started to bark at visitors and more recently, my friend's 8 year old son. He's not a bad dog but I'm worried he could snap when we take him out for a walk etc and would hate for him to be taken away from us, so I want to "nip" this in the bud ASAP!!

Any help and advice would be very gratefully received. He is our first dog and we rehomed him at the age of 17 weeks. He is wonderful with my 2 children and so patient.

Thank you for reading this, hope I haven't babbled too much and that the post makes sense!!

Emma and Bentley x

Hitting will not resolve this or any other behaviour. It causes resentment and fear so you're right not to follow this route.

I think you've kinda got it with the "Great game" thing. A better approach would be to totally ignore him, no eye contact, no nothing until he stops. You know him best and you know he wants to play so don't be fearful.

Explain to everyone what you're doing and get them to do the same. When Bentley realises that barking doesn't get him the attention he wants he will change. The other thing to remember is that he's an adolescent right now and may well have forgotten a lot of the good training you've done so far. Go back to basics, it shouldn't take too long before you get results seeing as he's not a kid anymore.

Thanks for posting I can relate to this very much so !

My boy has just turned 2 and for probably around 6 months he occassionally barks at me which appears aggressive, I think to be honest he starts with the intention of getting some attention then gets excited then gets carried away (bless ), me ignoring him didn't do much at all, I soon learnt the best way for us to manage this is for me to walk towards him quite firmly (quick) and I will tell him to 'stop it' 2 maybe 3 times and if he doesn't and starts to aggressively bark at me I will literally pin him down momentarily (not everyone will agree with this theory but it works for us very well !) and then let him go, he will get up shake himself then sit down and offer his paw almost like a peace offering. He never does this to my husband, and he tends to try this with me when he's out of the room. He did however last week do this to my son who is staying with us at the moment. I think he's just testing who's boss, and I think it's important he knows it's not him - despite what he thinks !!

Thank you very much for the advice Ian x

Hi Bek,

Oh my gosh our boys could be brothers lol they are very alike! I'm so grateful for your reply as I felt like it was something maybe I was doing to annoy him! It's so nice to know I'm not alone.

I completely get the barking and that it is over excitement, does Koda ever do it if you and your partner are having a cuddle? Bentley does to us and we thought it was an attention thing.

Lmao they do believe they are the boss don't they I admit I do need to firm up a bit with him!

Maybe it will settle down as he gets a bit older too (I'm hoping!) although other Staffy owners have told me their dog was 5 or 6 before they started to calm down lol!!

Thank you again for your reply, I'm really grateful xxx

Hi Ian,

Sorry to bother you again but Bentley has just been doing his barking at me and getting a bit too boisterous so I turned my back on him and ignored him and he bit me on my back!!

I was so shocked that I shouted "ow!" and he backed down a bit but I still had to make him sit and get him to stay for a while so he could calm down.

What should I do as I'm now worried about turning my back on him!

Thank you for any help or advice

You did the right thing in letting him know he hurt you and making him sit to calm down is great. I wouldn't give him the opportunity to try and get your attention, just carry on with whatever chore etc you were doing, this way your not a target that he can pester.

Staffies are very human orientated and ignoring them is a fairly harsh treatment in their minds. This isn't an instant fix but I would think Bentley will pick up that you ignoring him is not going to get him what he wants. As annoying as the barking is patience & consistency are key.

When u turn your back soon as you feel bently near you turn round in a firm voice and shout no then totally ignore him sounds like hes testing boundaries ie where you are in the pack he has to know where he is in the pack and who the boss is tough love required here be firm but fair and when u tell him off mean it without shouting use a level voice if that makes sense. Im sure if anyone has any better advice they will be along shortly.

First off, good on you for not following the 'show him who's boss' route. I have to say, I would put pinning in the same category so be very wary of doing it. Forcing a dog into a submissive position can make them cross and resentful in the same way that hitting can. Some will not react badly, but some may.

I'm with Ian that I think you need to go back to basics. I'd be doing structured training - basic obedience stuff - and also fun stuff. Playing and interacting are really important, but make sure you have an off switch in place, so 'leave it' and 'enough' commands. If, as it sounds, this is attention seeking, giving plenty of attention but on your terms should help. As you say, getting chased off is fun, but for many animals who learn to seek attention then anything, even a reprimand, is a gain.

I would also keep diary. Note what you were all doing when barking starts, how long it was since you last did anything that was related to him (training, cuddling, feeding, playing). Were you watching tv, on the phone, talking to each other? Any of these could be seen as not paying him enough attention in his eyes.

If you can spot a pattern, you're then better able to get there first. Say it's when you're watching tv, but only after 10 minutes. You might be able to set it up so you record anything you want to watch so not care if your viewing in interrupted, then watch for 5 minutes with him being good so you can then praise him for not barking.

If he does bark, instead of turning your back I'd leave the room and close the door. That will keep you safe and make the point clearly. But, you have to do it at the very first bark so that he know that's what made you go. If you leave it till he's barked 15 times it won't be so clear. It has to be everyone and every single first bark.

We're in a similar boat with Una, initially it was just me that she nipped but once she grew more confident around my OH she started to nip him too.

Going through the threads in this forum gave us some tactics to try, the "ow" route and turning our backs/folding our arms made her think it was all a fun game and she had to jump higher and continue to nip us. So this week we've started going straight to leaving the room and closing the door for 20 seconds (we used to do this as the last step). We then return, if Una nips again we go back out the room and wait for 25 seconds.

It's starting to work, we do have to do it more than once, but it's happening less as the week has progressed and we're more aware when she's likely to do it (overtired/overaroused) and we watch for that too. I'm sure we're not out the woods with this but at least it's a start.

As Ange says above, sometimes you happen across what works rather than following the usual rules. The tip she gives about walking out and closing the door is the same as ignoring but taking you out of the equation at the same time

LizP wrote:First off, good on you for not following the 'show him who's boss' route. I have to say, I would put pinning in the same category so be very wary of doing it. Forcing a dog into a submissive position can make them cross and resentful in the same way that hitting can. Some will not react badly, but some may.

I'm with Ian that I think you need to go back to basics. I'd be doing structured training - basic obedience stuff - and also fun stuff. Playing and interacting are really important, but make sure you have an off switch in place, so 'leave it' and 'enough' commands. If, as it sounds, this is attention seeking, giving plenty of attention but on your terms should help. As you say, getting chased off is fun, but for many animals who learn to seek attention then anything, even a reprimand, is a gain.

I would also keep diary. Note what you were all doing when barking starts, how long it was since you last did anything that was related to him (training, cuddling, feeding, playing). Were you watching tv, on the phone, talking to each other? Any of these could be seen as not paying him enough attention in his eyes.

If you can spot a pattern, you're then better able to get there first. Say it's when you're watching tv, but only after 10 minutes. You might be able to set it up so you record anything you want to watch so not care if your viewing in interrupted, then watch for 5 minutes with him being good so you can then praise him for not barking.

If he does bark, instead of turning your back I'd leave the room and close the door. That will keep you safe and make the point clearly. But, you have to do it at the very first bark so that he know that's what made you go. If you leave it till he's barked 15 times it won't be so clear. It has to be everyone and every single first bark.

Excellent advice

-Ian- wrote:As Ange says above, sometimes you happen across what works rather than following the usual rules. The tip she gives about walking out and closing the door is the same as ignoring but taking you out of the equation at the same time

Walking out yourself has got a couple of added advantages as well. The first is that you don't need to have any interaction with the dog at all, whereas if you try and ignore him you can (probably will) have some level of interaction even if it's just moving to keep your back to him as he walks around you trying to get your attention. The other advantage is timing. It's a clear action that you can do immediately the dog emits the first bark. Turning your back is a more continuous action and so is less clear. The first bark may have got you to turn around but the next barks get nothing because you've already turned, in fact if you do end up with him running round you it could even be seen as part of the game.

The third advantage (for me) is 20 precious seconds to get my emotions sorted, ease off on any frustration that is building and to repeat my "I can do this!" mantra

Very good point!

Wow thank you so much to everyone who has replied, I am so grateful for all your advice! I will definitely try leaving the room and shutting the door, I love the bit about having 5 seconds to calm down and not get too emotional!! So much like having a child lol!! I apologise for not replying sooner to say thank you its been a bit crazy recently! Thank you again, I really am so grateful. I'm biased but my boy is so lovely and I think I'm very guilty of not showing him that I'm the boss so I will try and toughen up

Sorry to ask for more advice but does anyone know if 2 male staffies can live together? I've been told by a couple of staffie owners that males dont get along and just fight? Am I cruel for just having one dog instead of getting him a companion? Thank you for any help I really appreciate it, incase anyone hadn't noticed I'm a bit of a worrier lmao xx

Hiya! Hope the advice helps in some way two male Staffies can live together in harmony depending on the owner and their individual temperaments. I have to say though, I'm not convinced that adding another dog into this situation would be wise? 2 dogs are hard work! Especially with a dog with problems. What about finding a friend for him to go out for walks with, but not live with? My girl has a few issues and we've tried fostering various dogs with her, some have worked really well, others have been a disaster (always opposite gender) but trying to train 2 dogs at once is hard. My girl lives very happily alone, Staffies IMO are most human focused than other animal focused 9 times out of 10. I do feel that it's great if dogs can have a companion, but not always essential.

I also wouldn't be adding another to the mix, just yet at any rate. As Rachel says, trying to work with 2 dogs at the same time is incredibly hard, if not impossible. Even professional trainers will say only to work with one dog at a time.

I do like having more than one and adore watching them together. Ours all get on famously but we did have a problem a couple of years ago that was fairly horrid. I think I would now tend to have quite different dogs as the worst problems seem to be when you have two similar dogs where neither will back down. So much as I adore staffies, if you're not a very experienced owner I'd probably say a less stubborn breed would be better.

But get Bentley settled first. And remember it's not a question of getting tough and showing him who's boss, it's a question of being clear as to what you want, which means being consistent and reacting in a timely manner, so that he knows that the consequence of doing something you don't want is always going to be getting something he doesn't want (eg being ignored), and equally that to get something he does want (eg a treat) he needs to do what you are asking.

Let us know how you get on.

Thank you again for the wonderful advice, I will not be adding another dog anytime soon and I really value your help! Today Bentley did his usual barking at me when he got over excited and I got up and walked out the room and shut the door! He went to run as if he wanted attention and to be chased but when I left I looked as I shut the door and he literally stopped dead and looked really confused! He then whined at the door until I opened it a minute later (I did a minute as he is one year old, is this acceptable or is it too long?) he then tried it again while my husband was around and we left the room again and again Bentley cried at the door! He has only barked at me twice today which is a huge improvement!! I know it wont always be so easy lol but its been a great start! I also did some training with him and he was very good! Very eager to please! I will definitely keep you updated, I'm so grateful for all your help, its so nice to hear it from people who have been through it! Thank you again!! Emma and Bentley xxxx

So far so good!

I personally would leave it till he stops whining before you open the door again. You've not banished him or anything, you've just left the room. If you open the door while he's whining, he can learn that whining works and then you end up with another problem!

It can take a while but try to train your mind to see these links between his behaviour and what he perceives to be the result. Then you'll be able to spot things before they even happen.