Today's the day!

First topic message reminder :

Barney is coming for a sleepover, with potential for staying as a foster.

They've met twice, all positive. I'm planning to take Bug for a walk this am with Fred and then drive up to take Barney for a walk before driving him back to ours. Me and OH are then going to meet at the lake with both dogs and complete the 5 mile walk around with both dogs on leads. Hopefully then both will be tired and we will bring them into the house. Planning to let settle and then Aseperate and give them dinner (they've got trotters tonight) and then bring back together for a chilled evening.

I've already picked up all toys/bones/chews and they have 2 beds and a mega comfy crate between them, so can have their space when they want it. Any other thoughts?

I'm disappointed too the thing is it's not like they're having fights or really big scraps, but there's just this tension between them, a sort of niggling unsettled feeling.. They can clearly tolerate each other, but I don't think that's a good enough reason for either one to be uncomfortable? Argh, so frustrating!

He was only neutered 2 months ago, and is still a young lad, so may be hormonal, but male dogs do make a bee line for Bug and she tends to get humped a lot She was heavily bred from before, and the kennels spayed her straight after a chain of phantom pregnancies, i'm not convinced that her hormones have ever really levelled out. Bug tends to hump others also, if she's over stimulated or feeling unsure - though she hasn't attempted to do this with Barney. I do think that there may be a bit of a status thing going on, as he will push her out of the way to get fuss/always tries to hold his head higher than hers, but also that neither really know what to do. It's not like he's doing any of this a lot - but it is the only interaction that they're having? He did go out into the garden earlier and Bug was rolling around in the grass as she does and then went into a play bow when she noticed him, but there was no response from him, she looked so sad bless her.

I really feel that if he was on his own without another dog in house he would be more than happy, I don't think he's aggressive, I just don't think he's a "doggy" dog..

One thought given his history - it's possible that he's been told to keep away from other dogs, maybe reprimanded as a puppy for wanting to play or something. It sounds like he doesn't really know how to be a dog, as well as maybe having a touch of the hormones if he's so recently neutered. And it sounds like Bug's trying her hardest but is getting confused by him not being able to read her properly. Isn't it amazing to what extent humans can stuff up an animal's brain?

Maybe a household with no dog might suit him best so he can just be a 4 legged human. He does sound lovely, and his manners out and about must surely help him to a good home, but sadly it sounds like that's not going to be with you.

From his point of view, at least he's not in kennels and it sounds like he's ok with you for the time being. And who knows, he might just figure it out all of a sudden!

You may well be right Liz.. He barely even looks at other dogs on walks, including Bug when she's walking right next to him, he is very ball oriented so I think that takes the focus away a bit (doesn't have the ball when Bug is about though), but he really, really enjoys the company of people - any gender/age/disposition. Just wants to be close and have some affection. She's trying really hard bless her, they both are. It is indeed - I just wish that we could be the ones to offer him that stability and general life education.

I do think he would like that, and as you've said he's so well behaved and handsome I don't think it would be hard to find him a home. But I think the rescue would prefer if they could get him to a point that he can fit with another dog.

What do you think you would do in this situation?

Not having met him it's hard to say, but although I generally like dogs to be able to interact and potentially live with another, if it's hard for him for some reason and he's happier without one, then why push it?

Me personally? I would probably be thinking along the same lines as you are already. If there is no major issue, then see how things ride for the next week or so but in the meantime I'd be sounding out alternatives just in case it does go pear shaped. And you never know how things do change. Nola was a horrible grump with Millie when she first arrived and they're now huge friends.

My priority, though, would be Bug. She's come such a long, long way with you and it is her house. Although Barney's needs are clearly great, she for me is the one who has to guide things.

I'm so glad you're on the same page. I feel so guilty, but I've felt like that with every foster I've ever had! I'm so overprotective of Bug, and she can probably handle things much more than I give her credit for. But as it's a mutual uncomfortable feeling it's whatever is best for him too.

Never, ever feel guilty for doing the right thing. And never, ever feel guilty for trying something but then saying 'this isn't really working'.