Nearly a year coming up next month.....
+3
stella
Rachel33
Mia05
7 posters
Page 1 of 1
Nearly a year coming up next month.....
for Stella's passing and I have had a very sad year. Although I'm feeling better than I did, the sadness I'm still feeling is'nt quite as raw as it was but miss her still and think about her every day. For me, it's been pretty hard really but I suppose we are all different and some cope easier than others.
Anyhow, We are going to Italy on holiday and I will be away for her anniversary and I'm feeling a bit guilty about this. We didn't intentionally book to be away at this time. It just came about... and thought it may be better to be away than at home.
But I'm now thinking otherwise and wondered how anyone else would feel if in this position.
Some friends and non dog lovers think I'm round the twist but I know you lot are more in the loop with understanding these things.
Thanks for listening:)
Anyhow, We are going to Italy on holiday and I will be away for her anniversary and I'm feeling a bit guilty about this. We didn't intentionally book to be away at this time. It just came about... and thought it may be better to be away than at home.
But I'm now thinking otherwise and wondered how anyone else would feel if in this position.
Some friends and non dog lovers think I'm round the twist but I know you lot are more in the loop with understanding these things.
Thanks for listening:)
shegsy- Staffy-Bull-Terrier Support Member
- Status :
Online Offline
Age : 74
Location : Sunderland
Relationship Status : Married
Dogs Name(s) : Stella RIP angel
Dog(s) Ages : 04/2001 - 08/2014
Dog Gender(s) : Girly
Join date : 2014-02-22
Support total : 328
Posts : 2485
Re: Nearly a year coming up next month.....
I reckon you should enjoy yourself sheila i know how much stella was a huge part of your life but with her antics you won't ever forget her its the imprint they leave on your heart . Just think of the great times and the random things that made you laugh cant believe its been a year thoughts are with you sheila rest in peace stella xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Mia05- Staffy-Bull-Terrier Moderator
- Status :
Online Offline
Age : 43
Location : Scotland
Relationship Status : Single
Dogs Name(s) : Mia
Dog(s) Ages : 2005-2016 rip mia
Dog Gender(s) : Female
Join date : 2014-07-20
Support total : 1317
Posts : 24965
Re: Nearly a year coming up next month.....
Thank you x
shegsy- Staffy-Bull-Terrier Support Member
- Status :
Online Offline
Age : 74
Location : Sunderland
Relationship Status : Married
Dogs Name(s) : Stella RIP angel
Dog(s) Ages : 04/2001 - 08/2014
Dog Gender(s) : Girly
Join date : 2014-02-22
Support total : 328
Posts : 2485
Re: Nearly a year coming up next month.....
Nae thanks needed hen
Mia05- Staffy-Bull-Terrier Moderator
- Status :
Online Offline
Age : 43
Location : Scotland
Relationship Status : Single
Dogs Name(s) : Mia
Dog(s) Ages : 2005-2016 rip mia
Dog Gender(s) : Female
Join date : 2014-07-20
Support total : 1317
Posts : 24965
Re: Nearly a year coming up next month.....
Aw Sheila I can't believe it's been a year - seems like such a long time. Totally understand where you're coming from - if it was me, I'd want to be away. Maybe just take a little time out of the day to reflect, even have a toast for her! We all know how selfless our dogs are - your happiness was her happiness and I think you should go and enjoy yourself - I would imagine she would have done anything to have made you feel happy. Wish me and Bug could give you a hug! Xx
Rachel33- Staffy-Bull-Terrier Admin
- Status :
Online Offline
Location : Devon
Relationship Status : In a relationship
Dogs Name(s) : Bug (Biscuit)
Dog(s) Ages : 7 ish
Dog Gender(s) : Female
Join date : 2012-06-17
Support total : 1012
Posts : 5562
Re: Nearly a year coming up next month.....
This is a really interesting question because guilt plays such a huge part of grief. That really surprised me when I first felt it, after our lovely Mungo went. It's so easy to remember your dog as she was in the best of times and forget the reasons you had to let her go. I know I used to have nightmares of seeing Mung going to sleep a young and happy dog, instead of the rickety old one having fits, and I'd wake up wracked with guilt that I'd put him down without doing my best for him.
You know, though, that you have nothing to feel guilty about, don't you? And you also know that your little star would hate you to feel guilty or bad in any way because of her. She would hate to feel you have in any want to be unhappy or put your life on hold. She would want you to love, smile, laugh and go on holiday.
Have you got something of hers that you could take with you? A tag or a collar or something, so she could come with you? Might that help at all?
Can I be honest, Sheila? It sounds like you need some help, grief counselling or similar support. I'm not suggesting that you forget Stella and move on without her, but you do need to learn that you can do normal things without feeling guilty, that you can go on holiday without betraying her.
You know, though, that you have nothing to feel guilty about, don't you? And you also know that your little star would hate you to feel guilty or bad in any way because of her. She would hate to feel you have in any want to be unhappy or put your life on hold. She would want you to love, smile, laugh and go on holiday.
Have you got something of hers that you could take with you? A tag or a collar or something, so she could come with you? Might that help at all?
Can I be honest, Sheila? It sounds like you need some help, grief counselling or similar support. I'm not suggesting that you forget Stella and move on without her, but you do need to learn that you can do normal things without feeling guilty, that you can go on holiday without betraying her.
Guest- Guest
Re: Nearly a year coming up next month.....
aww Shelia i'm sure many on here including myself will be just the same as you are when the time comes with our dogs,Stella was a part of your family and every one misses family members when they have left us,please dont feel guilty if your away,Stella is in your heart no matter where you are xx
stella- Staffy-Bull-Terrier Admin
- Status :
Online Offline
Age : 57
Location : isle of wight
Relationship Status : Married
Dogs Name(s) : sasha
Dog(s) Ages : 15years RIP
Dog Gender(s) : female
Join date : 2011-08-04
Support total : 1747
Posts : 14156
Re: Nearly a year coming up next month.....
Stella gave you so much love Sheila that I'm not at all surprised that you feel you should be home and thinking of her but... She wouldn't want that, she would want to see you happy and raising a glass just like you did on your wonderful trips to the van with her.
Enjoy your holiday Sheila and raise a glass to all the fun that Stella gave you. Me and Flo send huge hugs
Enjoy your holiday Sheila and raise a glass to all the fun that Stella gave you. Me and Flo send huge hugs
-Ian-- Staffy-Bull-Terrier Admin
- Status :
Online Offline
Age : 57
Location : Surrey
Dogs Name(s) : Anything, she's Deaf !
Dog(s) Ages : RIP Flo
Dog Gender(s) : Girl
Join date : 2014-01-31
Support total : 2862
Posts : 22548
Re: Nearly a year coming up next month.....
We will always be here sheila to lend a friendly ear
Mia05- Staffy-Bull-Terrier Moderator
- Status :
Online Offline
Age : 43
Location : Scotland
Relationship Status : Single
Dogs Name(s) : Mia
Dog(s) Ages : 2005-2016 rip mia
Dog Gender(s) : Female
Join date : 2014-07-20
Support total : 1317
Posts : 24965
Re: Nearly a year coming up next month.....
Thanks to you all for your kind words - really appreciate your replies
Rachel - I will definitely have a moment for her while we're away and you're right, Stella sensed my happiness often and gave all it back to me which is why I loved her so much Love to you and Bug xx
Liz - You are right about the dreams. I often dream about her and yes, she is always young and happy in them - which is nice and so much better than when she was poorly.
I have had help Liz which has helped me immensely and is ongoing as I also suffer from depression which of course magnifies all that's sad in life. I'm getting there though, and hopefully knowing Stella wouldn't want me to put my life on hold, I will eventually not have these guilty feelings and start to enjoy life again. Thanks again xx
Stella - Thanks lovely. Yes they are part of the family and she will always be with me xx
Ian - Lovely words thanks. I will definitely raise a glass or two and enjoy my holiday xx
Crystal - Thanks lovely. It's nice to know you are here to lend your friendly ear xx
Rachel - I will definitely have a moment for her while we're away and you're right, Stella sensed my happiness often and gave all it back to me which is why I loved her so much Love to you and Bug xx
Liz - You are right about the dreams. I often dream about her and yes, she is always young and happy in them - which is nice and so much better than when she was poorly.
I have had help Liz which has helped me immensely and is ongoing as I also suffer from depression which of course magnifies all that's sad in life. I'm getting there though, and hopefully knowing Stella wouldn't want me to put my life on hold, I will eventually not have these guilty feelings and start to enjoy life again. Thanks again xx
Stella - Thanks lovely. Yes they are part of the family and she will always be with me xx
Ian - Lovely words thanks. I will definitely raise a glass or two and enjoy my holiday xx
Crystal - Thanks lovely. It's nice to know you are here to lend your friendly ear xx
shegsy- Staffy-Bull-Terrier Support Member
- Status :
Online Offline
Age : 74
Location : Sunderland
Relationship Status : Married
Dogs Name(s) : Stella RIP angel
Dog(s) Ages : 04/2001 - 08/2014
Dog Gender(s) : Girly
Join date : 2014-02-22
Support total : 328
Posts : 2485
Re: Nearly a year coming up next month.....
I'm sorry it's been such a hard year, I can't imagine the loss (makes me teary thinking about it!), but wanted to say we are all here for you, any time you need to bend an ear and I think the time away will be good for you and don't at all feel guilty she wouldn't want that. Remember this one thing, grief is different for everyone and there is no time limit! Thinking of you x
AussieStaff- Staffy-Bull-Terrier Global Mod
- Status :
Online Offline
Age : 48
Location : Sydney
Dogs Name(s) : Koda
Dog(s) Ages : 15/10/13
Dog Gender(s) : Male
Join date : 2013-11-14
Support total : 450
Posts : 5245
Re: Nearly a year coming up next month.....
AussieStaff wrote:I'm sorry it's been such a hard year, I can't imagine the loss (makes me teary thinking about it!), but wanted to say we are all here for you, any time you need to bend an ear and I think the time away will be good for you and don't at all feel guilty she wouldn't want that. Remember this one thing, grief is different for everyone and there is no time limit! Thinking of you x
Thank you Bek. Your comment regarding no time limit is very comforting as yes, we are all different. Love to you and Koda xx
shegsy- Staffy-Bull-Terrier Support Member
- Status :
Online Offline
Age : 74
Location : Sunderland
Relationship Status : Married
Dogs Name(s) : Stella RIP angel
Dog(s) Ages : 04/2001 - 08/2014
Dog Gender(s) : Girly
Join date : 2014-02-22
Support total : 328
Posts : 2485
Re: Nearly a year coming up next month.....
shegsy wrote:AussieStaff wrote:Remember this one thing, grief is different for everyone and there is no time limit! Thinking of you x
Thank you Bek. Your comment regarding no time limit is very comforting as yes, we are all different. Love to you and Koda xx
It's so true, don't take that lightly. I lost my Mum last year and beat myself up over how much I was grieving, for you it's no different with your angel, you take whatever time you need and remember we're all here for you and feel a bit of your pain. x
AussieStaff- Staffy-Bull-Terrier Global Mod
- Status :
Online Offline
Age : 48
Location : Sydney
Dogs Name(s) : Koda
Dog(s) Ages : 15/10/13
Dog Gender(s) : Male
Join date : 2013-11-14
Support total : 450
Posts : 5245
Re: Nearly a year coming up next month.....
Thanks again Bek Sorry to hear about your Mum. It does get better in time
shegsy- Staffy-Bull-Terrier Support Member
- Status :
Online Offline
Age : 74
Location : Sunderland
Relationship Status : Married
Dogs Name(s) : Stella RIP angel
Dog(s) Ages : 04/2001 - 08/2014
Dog Gender(s) : Girly
Join date : 2014-02-22
Support total : 328
Posts : 2485
Re: Nearly a year coming up next month.....
So sorry for your loss I've lost my woof this year in June and the feeling of guilt every time I'm out is over-whelming. I understand where you are coming from.
Stella would want you to enjoy your life and live it. You think about her all the time and that means she's always with you!
We all deal with grief in different ways. I'm finding the loss of my boy hard but I know in time it will get better.
We're all thinking of you - now go and enjoy Italy xxx
Stella would want you to enjoy your life and live it. You think about her all the time and that means she's always with you!
We all deal with grief in different ways. I'm finding the loss of my boy hard but I know in time it will get better.
We're all thinking of you - now go and enjoy Italy xxx
VikkiGT4- Staffy-Bull-Terrier Support Member
- Status :
Online Offline
Age : 44
Location : West Midlands
Relationship Status : Engaged
Dogs Name(s) : Knox (RIP baby boy <3)
Dog Gender(s) : Male
Join date : 2013-02-15
Support total : 234
Posts : 2520
Re: Nearly a year coming up next month.....
Vikki - I have followed your thread regarding your beautiful Knox and the devastating outcome that followed. I cried for you as I can fully relate to how you're feeling.
It's so good to be able to talk to people who understand.
I'm sure Knox and Stella will be playing together and having a wonderful time at the bridge.... just waiting... xxx
It's so good to be able to talk to people who understand.
I'm sure Knox and Stella will be playing together and having a wonderful time at the bridge.... just waiting... xxx
shegsy- Staffy-Bull-Terrier Support Member
- Status :
Online Offline
Age : 74
Location : Sunderland
Relationship Status : Married
Dogs Name(s) : Stella RIP angel
Dog(s) Ages : 04/2001 - 08/2014
Dog Gender(s) : Girly
Join date : 2014-02-22
Support total : 328
Posts : 2485
Re: Nearly a year coming up next month.....
I have no doubt that they will be up there causing some mischief along with all the other wonderful woofies we've lost along the way.
We have to try and remember all the wonderful times we've spent with them and the random weirdness they come out with every now and then that makes us laugh so much and love them all the more.
Thinking of you xxxxx
We have to try and remember all the wonderful times we've spent with them and the random weirdness they come out with every now and then that makes us laugh so much and love them all the more.
Thinking of you xxxxx
VikkiGT4- Staffy-Bull-Terrier Support Member
- Status :
Online Offline
Age : 44
Location : West Midlands
Relationship Status : Engaged
Dogs Name(s) : Knox (RIP baby boy <3)
Dog Gender(s) : Male
Join date : 2013-02-15
Support total : 234
Posts : 2520
Similar topics
» LEXI now 1 year 7 month N KYZER now 7 month .. TUG OF WAR :)
» Coming onto my 6th Month !!!!
» Coming up a month on raw
» Ripleys 1st year with us so far..........post your dogs year in photos
» 15 month Staffy Coming Home - Advice please
» Coming onto my 6th Month !!!!
» Coming up a month on raw
» Ripleys 1st year with us so far..........post your dogs year in photos
» 15 month Staffy Coming Home - Advice please
Page 1 of 1
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum