Nearly a year coming up next month.....

for Stella's passing and I have had a very sad year.  Although I'm feeling better than I did,  the sadness I'm still feeling is'nt quite as raw as it was but miss her still and think about her every day.  For me, it's been pretty hard really but I suppose we are all different and some cope easier than others.

Anyhow,  We are going to Italy on holiday and I will be away for her anniversary and I'm feeling a bit guilty about this.  We didn't intentionally book to be away at this time.  It just came about... and thought it may be better to be away than at home.
But I'm now thinking otherwise and wondered how anyone else would feel if in this position.
Some friends and non dog lovers think I'm round the twist but I know you lot are more in the loop with understanding these things.
Thanks for listening:)

I reckon you should enjoy yourself sheila i know how much stella was a huge part of your life but with her antics you won't ever forget her its the imprint they leave on your heart . Just think of the great times and the random things that made you laugh cant believe its been a year thoughts are with you sheila rest in peace stella xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Thank you x

Nae thanks needed hen

Aw Sheila I can't believe it's been a year - seems like such a long time. Totally understand where you're coming from - if it was me, I'd want to be away. Maybe just take a little time out of the day to reflect, even have a toast for her! We all know how selfless our dogs are - your happiness was her happiness and I think you should go and enjoy yourself - I would imagine she would have done anything to have made you feel happy. Wish me and Bug could give you a hug! Xx

This is a really interesting question because guilt plays such a huge part of grief. That really surprised me when I first felt it, after our lovely Mungo went. It's so easy to remember your dog as she was in the best of times and forget the reasons you had to let her go. I know I used to have nightmares of seeing Mung going to sleep a young and happy dog, instead of the rickety old one having fits, and I'd wake up wracked with guilt that I'd put him down without doing my best for him.

You know, though, that you have nothing to feel guilty about, don't you? And you also know that your little star would hate you to feel guilty or bad in any way because of her. She would hate to feel you have in any want to be unhappy or put your life on hold. She would want you to love, smile, laugh and go on holiday.

Have you got something of hers that you could take with you? A tag or a collar or something, so she could come with you? Might that help at all?

Can I be honest, Sheila? It sounds like you need some help, grief counselling or similar support. I'm not suggesting that you forget Stella and move on without her, but you do need to learn that you can do normal things without feeling guilty, that you can go on holiday without betraying her.

aww Shelia i'm sure many on here including myself will be just the same as you are when the time comes with our dogs,Stella was a part of your family and every one misses family members when they have left us,please dont feel guilty if your away,Stella is in your heart no matter where you are xx

Stella gave you so much love Sheila that I'm not at all surprised that you feel you should be home and thinking of her but... She wouldn't want that, she would want to see you happy and raising a glass just like you did on your wonderful trips to the van with her.

Enjoy your holiday Sheila and raise a glass to all the fun that Stella gave you. Me and Flo send huge hugs

We will always be here sheila to lend a friendly ear

Thanks to you all for your kind words - really appreciate your replies

Rachel - I will definitely have a moment for her while we're away and you're right, Stella sensed my happiness often and gave all it back to me which is why I loved her so much  Love to you and Bug xx

Liz - You are right about the dreams.  I often dream about her and yes, she is always young and happy in them - which is nice and so much better than when she was poorly.
I have had help Liz which has helped me immensely and is ongoing as I also suffer from depression which of course magnifies all that's sad in  life. I'm getting there though, and hopefully knowing Stella wouldn't want me to put my life on hold, I will eventually not have these guilty feelings and start to enjoy life again.  Thanks again xx

Stella - Thanks lovely.  Yes they are part of the family and she will always be with me xx

Ian - Lovely words thanks.  I will definitely raise a glass or two and enjoy my holiday xx

Crystal - Thanks lovely.  It's nice to know you are here to lend your friendly ear xx

I'm sorry it's been such a hard year, I can't imagine the loss (makes me teary thinking about it!), but wanted to say we are all here for you, any time you need to bend an ear and I think the time away will be good for you and don't at all feel guilty she wouldn't want that. Remember this one thing, grief is different for everyone and there is no time limit! Thinking of you x

AussieStaff wrote:I'm sorry it's been such a hard year, I can't imagine the loss (makes me teary thinking about it!), but wanted to say we are all here for you, any time you need to bend an ear and I think the time away will be good for you and don't at all feel guilty she wouldn't want that. Remember this one thing, grief is different for everyone and there is no time limit! Thinking of you x

Thank you Bek. Your comment regarding no time limit is very comforting as yes, we are all different. Love to you and Koda xx

shegsy wrote:

AussieStaff wrote:Remember this one thing, grief is different for everyone and there is no time limit! Thinking of you x

Thank you Bek. Your comment regarding no time limit is very comforting as yes, we are all different.  Love to you and Koda xx

It's so true, don't take that lightly. I lost my Mum last year and beat myself up over how much I was grieving, for you it's no different with your angel, you take whatever time you need and remember we're all here for you and feel a bit of your pain. x

Thanks again Bek Sorry to hear about your Mum. It does get better in time

So sorry for your loss I've lost my woof this year in June and the feeling of guilt every time I'm out is over-whelming. I understand where you are coming from.

Stella would want you to enjoy your life and live it. You think about her all the time and that means she's always with you!

We all deal with grief in different ways. I'm finding the loss of my boy hard but I know in time it will get better.

We're all thinking of you - now go and enjoy Italy xxx

Vikki - I have followed your thread regarding your beautiful Knox and the devastating outcome that followed. I cried for you as I can fully relate to how you're feeling.
It's so good to be able to talk to people who understand.
I'm sure Knox and Stella will be playing together and having a wonderful time at the bridge.... just waiting... xxx

I have no doubt that they will be up there causing some mischief along with all the other wonderful woofies we've lost along the way.

We have to try and remember all the wonderful times we've spent with them and the random weirdness they come out with every now and then that makes us laugh so much and love them all the more.

Thinking of you xxxxx