Overcoming dogs fighting

Hello again,
Well Murray has settled quite a bit in the past 2 weeks we've had him which has been good.
So we have a family holiday planned for next weekend- it's been planned for months and includes my parents, and my brother, his wife and their staffy x whippet Marci. We have a pet friendly house booked in the mountains. When we got Murray, we were excited for him to come to! We arranged a meeting of the dogs as a trial last Tuesday, and my sister in law and I took them for a walk and had coffee- it was a successful meeting- the dogs were happy to walk side by side, and whilst Marci had a few barks at Murray at the coffee shop, Murray didn't seem fussed, and they walked shoulder to shoulder home.

Fast forward to today, we had a family gathering, so we took both dogs for another meeting before the holiday- no sooner was Murray out of the car, that Marci was onto him and a fight ensued- the dogs were ok thank goodness (Murray got a small graze to the ear) - mind you my brother was worst off with a bite to his hand trying to get them apart and I got a bite to the foot through my shoe.
We separated them, tended to our wounds and that was that.

So we are now understandably worried about them being together again and are making arrangements for dogsitting so we don't have them together next weekend.

My question is, can dogs move on from this so they can have a friendship in the future, or is it pretty much curtains on them being friends? Any tips on how to introduce them again on friendlier terms?

The party was at my parents place, where Marci has stayed many times before, and was there first today- so could have been territorial?

We're all feeling subdued tonight- from fright, and disappointment as we thought/hoped things would be different. Any tips or insight would be much appreciated.

Hiya do you know murrays history? At all

We weren't told of any aggression, and he's been pretty easy going- if we're on a walk and a dog barks at him he usually cries. Marci doesn't have a great history with other dogs though, but one she did get on with was an old red male staffy just like Murray- and given the previous successful outing, we thought that mix may have worked.

Hello! So, it sounds like Marci started the fight and Murray was defending herself? What is Marci's history with dogs? Were both dogs in the house/off lead when the fight broke out? I've had dogs that have been able to walk parallel with no problems, but just cannot cope with the meet and greet. My own dog is one of them. She does have a handful of friends now, but she only takes to males - though is okay with younger females/pups. It can take time to build up a trusting relationship between dogs - but I'm unsure if a family holiday is the place to do it due to the busy atmosphere/the stress put on your holiday!

What we were told: previous family had 4 children, they grew up and no one had time for him anymore. Good with children, not scared of storms, doesn't bark much, doesn't jump fences.

Aww sounds like murray isnt the aggressor the other dog may benefit from socialisation a little

It happened quickly, but all said Marci started it. It was off lead in a fenced yard- in retrospect, really should have been on lead.
We won't have them together on holiday now, just wondering if eventually its possible to get to that stage and how

Just socialise them gradually again

Aww what a shame. Given they will both see each other regularly I would recommend small social time, both on lead, on neutral ground and slowly extend that until all are comfortable. I'm sorry both can't go on holidays now but it's for the best I think, have a great holiday !

I don't think this is the end of the friendship at all. My Flo will often have a spat with her Bloodhound cousins but it's all over and done with in seconds and then they settle down fine. Toys and food are the worst catalalysts for a scrap mind you.

It might have been a territory thing but I don't think you'll ever know to be honest. Giving the holiday a miss isn't a bad idea but go on with social walks on neutral ground. They might never be great friends but I'm sure they can be sociable as they gave been before.

RedMurray wrote:It happened quickly, but all said Marci started it. It was off lead in a fenced yard- in retrospect, really should have been on lead.
We won't have them together on holiday now, just wondering if eventually its possible to get to that stage and how

Walk them together as often as possible. Have them around each other on lead and take it slow.

Dogs don't hold grudges as we do, and although they do have certain dogs they particularly like or dislike, they tend much more to live in the moment then get over it.

I agree with the others, on lead walking parallel but not too close, and keep leads relaxed. If you need to keep pulling to keep Marci away from Murray or the other way round, then increase the distance to the point that you can relax leads. The ideal is to find a big field/park/beach where you can walk alongside but with several metres between each other.

You'll probably all be a bit nervous next time they meet but it's essential that you keep relaxed too, or the dogs will sense it. If you're tense, then they will see there's a reason to be tense too.

So don't be too down. It isn't necessarily the end of the world, just a call to do thing a little differently.

Thanks everyone for your comments- it is such a shock when it happens, but I appreciate what LizP said in that dogs don't hold grudges- that makes me feel better! Hopefully they might be friendly enough for next years holiday!

Once again I find myself needing some expert adice from the board!
We've looked at a few options for this family holiday in order to keep the dogs apart. We have insisted that Marci goes, as it was booked at this place specifically so she could come. We were the ones who went and got a new dog to throw in the mix last minute.
We did have a friend lined up to housesit, but now he can't. So if we leave him home, it would go like this:
- we would walk and feed him Friday before leaving around 5-6pm
- he would be on his own outside (he has a kennel) until Saturday afternoon, when our friend would come and walk and feed him. We would try to find someone to do Saturday morning too if we could
- then he would be alone until Sunday morning when my father in law would come and walk and feed him
- my husband would be home Sunday evening, so would thenbe business as usual

The other option is we take him with us. The holiday house has a detached bunk house we would be sleeping in beside the main house. Marci would have the main house, and Murray could have the bunk house. However, we will spend most time in the main house with my family eating, drinking and playing games, so Murray would spend hours alone in a strange house. We are also not sure if the dogs would smell each other and be stressed/upset/bark even if they are not around each other.

What would likely be the least stressful scenario for a dog? Once we get over this hurdle, we should be pretty settled for quite sometime without many routine disruptions! Keep in mind, we've only had him 3 weeks...

Thanks guys, you're a greta bunch to turn to!

You seem to have put a lot of expectation on Murray to fit in to your plans that he's not aware of. He needs time to settle and understand what's what family wise. Marci needs a bit of the same and maybe a bit more guidance. If the holiday was that important to you, you shouldn't have gone and got a dog like you did and expect him to fit in with your life, you have to help him and give a bit too. If he's not important enough to do whatever it takes maybe you were not the right ones for him. If Marci was at fault why cut Murray out? If Murray is your dog then he is your responsibility, Marci is theirs so it's up to them to deal with that. You might even find that in a neutral place they might gel a bit better. Marci needs to learn to share and walking them at the same time will get her to associate Murray with walks and so a positive part of her life. My sister had a GSD/Collie x and he'd go for anything but once he understood that seeing our dog meant a good walk and a treat or two he made exceptions and ended up living with cats and even rabbits. Don't cut out Murray if someone else's dog is the problem.

As it turns out, our friend can house sit now, and Murray has met him before, so he will be with a familiar face in his familiar surounding for two nights then we return. This is the only forseeable hiccup to his settling in, things are pretty steady after that.
Thanks for your thoughts Ian- we felt we had considered everything when we got Murray, and trust me, we are doing everything we can to make him welcome and at home. We did consider waiting until after the holiday (which is just a weekend) to get a dog, but I'm sure most people here understand when you see the dog that takes your heart, you do what you can to make it work- the other option was to not get him and leave him at the shelter or possibly miss out altogether. We had thought things would be different in regards to the dogs getting on, so it woudlnt' have been an issue. Alas, things don't always go to plan, even with the best intentions. And he is very important to us, hence why I am trying to gather as much expert advice as I can to help along the way.

Ian's words might sound a bit harsh but I have to say I agree with the main gist of it. The rescue centre I volunteer for won't let you take a dog if you are going away within a couple of months.

Interestingly, when we got Chaos last year, the intention was that he was coming to do an off lead meet with Bobbert at home (we couldn't let him off anywhere else or go to the kennels with him), and that Chaos would return to the kennels for two weeks as we had a holiday planned (we thought the adoption process would take longer than 2 days!). As it turned out, he refused point blank to get back in the van so he stayed here, my husband took Nola up to Yorkshire on his own and I stayed behind with Chaos. It was going to be the first holiday we'd had together in about 10 years, but I cancelled going. I wouldn't have dreamed of taking Chaos with us.

Things are now what they are for you and I hope Murrary isn't too confused by it. But if you do have behaviour changes bear in mind what he's being asked to do. He may be staying at home with someone he's met before, but suddenly the core of his pack - his stability - is going. You know it's a couple of days, he doesn't know if he'll ever see you again. Looking at the world through his eyes, is all a 'big ask'.

Sorry if I came across a bit ott, I didn't mean any offence, I just get a bit carried away if it seems that the wrong dog is getting the blame. I hope things work out wonderfully and Marci and Murray end up the best of pals. Keep us informed of how things go eh. All the best.

So they have had one successful meet and one not so successful meet?Personally I wouldn't worry unduly. Dogs tend to live in the moment as has been mentioned and at the end of the day you are potentially leaving a family member behind just because of one bad experience.