RIP Eddie 'Bear' Cochrane.

My Baby boy went ahead to Rainbow Bridge on the 12 September 2014. This is the first time I've been able to talk about him since that day.

He was diagnosed months ago with IBD after losing weight and vomiting stomach bile anything up to 5 times a day. In a strange twist of fate I also have IBD, he was the one thing that was with me through every moment of a very bad time over 2009/2010. My Drs didn't think I would pull through, my family were getting ready to say goodbye and the only reason I knew I had to continue fighting was my Eddie. He was the one that I had to get out of bed for, he was the one who comforted me when I cried in private (I'm a proud SOB, not many people see me in pain!) he made me laugh when there seemed nothing else could and he was my sounding board for all my frustration. So his diagnoses, whilst it did shock me, wasn't anything I couldn't deal with! The meds were virtually the same as mine so I knew the side effects and the cautions on them. I knew the whole dietary problems so for months we forced the meds down his throat and I cooked foods for him I didn't think I could ever handle let alone cook and I spent months sleeping downstairs on the floor with him and feeding him, by hand, every 2 hours...Little and often seemed to help the bile vomiting! We were virtual residents at our vets (Cherrydown vet. surgery, Basildon. Essex!) who were brilliant and tried everything possible and 2 of the nurses actually cried as we all watched him losing more and more weight. We didn't want to have him referred to a specialist, mainly because I thought it was IBD and therefore treatable but also because we knew they would want to do all the biopsies, the sedations and the prodding and poking again. Money was no real matter, for him we would have done anything, but I wasn't prepared to pay out again for tests that upset him when they were originally done and now he was half the size and strength would only upset him more but in the end we had no choice.
We were referred to RVC in Potters Bar, once again I cannot fault them they were so good to us and Eddie. In the following week they did do all the tests again and the same as the first time all the major issues were negated. No cancerous cells were found and apart from some bacteria that were more present than they liked they couldn't actually find anything else. But he was still losing weight and even they were worried so we signed on the dotted line to agree to an exploratory op.
What they found shocked everyone! Whilst under sedation they found a very rare form of cancer that would never have shown up on any of the 'normal' tests. The only way they could have found it was the way they had, it had gone from the oesophagus all the way into the lining of his stomach and was slowly eating its way through his entire digestive tract! (Sorry I don't remember what they told me it was called, at that point I didn't care about a label!!!) We received a phone call from the vet herself explaining it was up to us but we could bring him round from the sedation and possibly have 10 to 14 days with him, although 5 of those days would be in HDU and he would need to keep the feeding tube that had been inserted into his tummy and he would be out of it on drugs and that would only be if he actually woke up from sedation or we could allow them to stop all treatment and let him pass in his 'sleep'! The hardest decision we ever made but we made the right choice for him not us. He never woke up!
We have allowed them to use his remains to hopefully help them understand and therefore possibly help some other furbaby in the future!
My heart is broken, my soul is crushed and I still cry at least once a day, people say it will get easier....I don't believe them yet. Does a parent ever get over losing a child? But I'm so thankful that on a day in January I rescued a poor soul, in my defence I rescued her because Eddie has rescued me so I paid it forward, who had and still has more energy than a tazmanian devil with ADHD on speed, Lola aka Little Miss Manix. She also misses him, still looks for him to play with and annoy but together we see each other through the day and yet again I have a 4 legged furbaby to thank when I do get up every day! I think without her I wouldn't!
Thank you for reading this, I do tend to go on   but this has been quite cathartic for me! Its the 1st time I've written it all out and yes I'm crying but I'm sure the tears will stop sometime or other!!
  In better days.
Bit biased but he was a stunning dog!
My last goodbye!
Best friends.

Tears are rolling here too Fairy, Eddie was a stunner indeed, what a roller coaster ride for you all. Glad writing it down to us has helped somewhat. He will be with you at all times in spirit, run free gorgeous boy at Rainbow Bridge Xxxxx

we're all here when ever you want to talk about eddie love,like inez said i hope talking helps,i know for me it does.he was a beautiful boy,rip gorgeous boy xx

We share your sadness at losing your beautiful Eddie. Lost our Murphy in June and still grieving. We have to think of the good times and the pleasure and joy they give us and believe that we gave them back all we could.

So sorry you lost your beautiful boy. What a brave, unselfish choice you made. When it gets hard sometimes the only comfort is that you gave them everything, right up to putting them first and letting them go.
Talking helps, all the quirks and little precious things they did. Sleep tight    sweet Eddie x

Im so sorry to read this. I remember reading your original post when Eddie was first unwell. RVC Potters Bar are amazing as my first Staff was treated there many years ago. I can't imagine how shocked you must have been to have been told how desperately Ill he was. It's the hardest choice us Humans have to make for our 4 pawed friends but you did the kindest thing for him after such a long struggle to keep him well. I'm sure Eddie is looking down from Rainbow Bridge with love for you and all you did for him