TEST: Can you forgive and forget?

https://psychologies.co.uk/tests/can-you-forgive-and-forget-2.html

Forgive? Never!

Forgiving people is very difficult for you. You often find it difficult to forgive and move on if someone hurts you, in whatever way it might be. You keep all the anger and the hate inside you, feelings that you often didn't express at the time. In fact, as soon as a touchy subject comes up you feel the rage rising, but you do everything you can to contain it. You try everything possible to control yourself because to show your pain would be to give ground to your adversary and would be to admit your inferiority. You like to be in control of the other person. By refusing to forgive someone you are reminding them that it's up to you to free them of their guilt. You like to be in control of the situation. In keeping your anger alive, and even cultivating it, you make yourself the victim, and reap the secondary benefits of that position. One piece of advice: try to let go of the anger. It'll free you up to move on to something else. It's not about letting people off their mistakes (like you seem to think) but about having a weight off your shoulders so that you can move forward a little more calmly towards the future.

come on lets see soem results

You go through the necessary stages in order to move on
You can forgive people without losing your self-respect. When someone has hurt you, you give yourself time to come to terms with it bit by bit. First, you express how you feel, and then you lick your wounds. Afterwards, you allow your anger an outlet and sometimes confront the person who has caused the problem to tell them exactly what you think of what they have done. Once you have expressed your anger, you tend not to hang on to it. You analyse a difficult situation once it's resolved to understand what happened, and what caused it. When you’ve had the chance to mull things over you move on to new things, free to go in search of new experiences. You find it quite easy to forgive, in the sense that you don't judge the other person and that you don't hold a grudge. However, there are certain things that are unforgivable (you don't think it's necessarily a good thing to forgive everything). If someone does something unforgivable you recover from it armed with the knowledge that you won't let anyone do that to you again. Carry on the way you are. The best part of it is, you know what's important in life.

oh they are good ha

You only forgive people because you feel you have no choice
You appear to forgive people, but when you scratch beneath the surface it becomes clear that you haven't forgiven them at all. There's a schism between your words and actions on the one hand and your feelings and emotions on the other. Outwardly, you forgive the other person, motivated by the politeness that was drummed into you when you were growing up; it's a sort of moral propriety that's a part of the society or religion you belong to. This way of behaving gives you an advantage. You come across as the sort of person who behaves nobly and who is above petty squabbling. However, your attitude is rather rigid and hiding behind it is anger and resentment, and a desire for vengeance. Instead of expressing your feelings about things openly, you obsess over them constantly, and over a long period of time. This is why forgiving people, even against your better judgement, allows you to avoid certain things, notably confronting the other person and telling them frankly what you think. A word of advice, therefore: your words and actions need to match what you feel and not just serve as a means of abiding by the rules of society as you see them. Be a bit rebellious. This will allow you to let go of the silent, deadly need for vengeance.

 remind me not to piss you off colin   

You go through the necessary stages in order to move on


Leo thing again, Inez   

Indeedy Lisa    

You're too quick to forgive
Forgiveness comes very easily to you. Whether problems in your personal relationships are big or small, they are like water off a duck's back. There's no resentment, no thirst for vengeance, no hate. If you're angry, you don't show it. Quite the opposite, in fact. You tend to forgive people automatically, making a million and one excuses for them, and taking the blame yourself. You move straight from the hurt to understanding and forgiving. But the problem is that you have skipped the angry phase. Because it numbs how you feel, you use forgiveness as an emotional 'joker' when faced with aggression. Furthermore, you refuse to believe that the other person can be guilty or responsible for their actions because you can't understand how anyone can be deliberately cruel. This means that you don't hold grudges. You don't like being angry with people in case they get angry with you. Unfortunately, your adversaries will spot this and take advantage of it. Our advice is: get angry! Confront people who hurt you and don't let them get away with it. Forgive people when you need to, but only when they deserve to be forgiven.

I need to get angry!   

^^^ yes Saz you do!    

I'm just not an angry person!   

Inez Maria wrote:You go through the necessary stages in order to move on
You can forgive people without losing your self-respect. When someone has hurt you, you give yourself time to come to terms with it bit by bit. First, you express how you feel, and then you lick your wounds. Afterwards, you allow your anger an outlet and sometimes confront the person who has caused the problem to tell them exactly what you think of what they have done. Once you have expressed your anger, you tend not to hang on to it. You analyse a difficult situation once it's resolved to understand what happened, and what caused it. When you’ve had the chance to mull things over you move on to new things, free to go in search of new experiences. You find it quite easy to forgive, in the sense that you don't judge the other person and that you don't hold a grudge. However, there are certain things that are unforgivable (you don't think it's necessarily a good thing to forgive everything). If someone does something unforgivable you recover from it armed with the knowledge that you won't let anyone do that to you again. Carry on the way you are. The best part of it is, you know what's important in life.

Snap

You only forgive people because you feel you have no choice
You appear to forgive people, but when you scratch beneath the surface it becomes clear that you haven't forgiven them at all. There's a schism between your words and actions on the one hand and your feelings and emotions on the other. Outwardly, you forgive the other person, motivated by the politeness that was drummed into you when you were growing up; it's a sort of moral propriety that's a part of the society or religion you belong to. This way of behaving gives you an advantage. You come across as the sort of person who behaves nobly and who is above petty squabbling. However, your attitude is rather rigid and hiding behind it is anger and resentment, and a desire for vengeance. Instead of expressing your feelings about things openly, you obsess over them constantly, and over a long period of time. This is why forgiving people, even against your better judgement, allows you to avoid certain things, notably confronting the other person and telling them frankly what you think. A word of advice, therefore: your words and actions need to match what you feel and not just serve as a means of abiding by the rules of society as you see them. Be a bit rebellious. This will allow you to let go of the silent, deadly need for vengeance.

_Hayley_ wrote:

Inez Maria wrote:You go through the necessary stages in order to move on
You can forgive people without losing your self-respect. When someone has hurt you, you give yourself time to come to terms with it bit by bit. First, you express how you feel, and then you lick your wounds. Afterwards, you allow your anger an outlet and sometimes confront the person who has caused the problem to tell them exactly what you think of what they have done. Once you have expressed your anger, you tend not to hang on to it. You analyse a difficult situation once it's resolved to understand what happened, and what caused it. When you’ve had the chance to mull things over you move on to new things, free to go in search of new experiences. You find it quite easy to forgive, in the sense that you don't judge the other person and that you don't hold a grudge. However, there are certain things that are unforgivable (you don't think it's necessarily a good thing to forgive everything). If someone does something unforgivable you recover from it armed with the knowledge that you won't let anyone do that to you again. Carry on the way you are. The best part of it is, you know what's important in life.

Snap

Just knew you would be the same hun    

Forgive? Never!

Forgiving people is very difficult for you. You often find it difficult to forgive and move on if someone hurts you, in whatever way it might be. You keep all the anger and the hate inside you, feelings that you often didn't express at the time. In fact, as soon as a touchy subject comes up you feel the rage rising, but you do everything you can to contain it. You try everything possible to control yourself because to show your pain would be to give ground to your adversary and would be to admit your inferiority. You like to be in control of the other person. By refusing to forgive someone you are reminding them that it's up to you to free them of their guilt. You like to be in control of the situation. In keeping your anger alive, and even cultivating it, you make yourself the victim, and reap the secondary benefits of that position. One piece of advice: try to let go of the anger. It'll free you up to move on to something else. It's not about letting people off their mistakes (like you seem to think) but about having a weight off your shoulders so that you can move forward a little more calmly towards the future.

No need to take a test, depends what it was for.

Sazzle wrote:You're too quick to forgive
Forgiveness comes very easily to you. Whether problems in your personal relationships are big or small, they are like water off a duck's back. There's no resentment, no thirst for vengeance, no hate. If you're angry, you don't show it. Quite the opposite, in fact. You tend to forgive people automatically, making a million and one excuses for them, and taking the blame yourself. You move straight from the hurt to understanding and forgiving. But the problem is that you have skipped the angry phase. Because it numbs how you feel, you use forgiveness as an emotional 'joker' when faced with aggression. Furthermore, you refuse to believe that the other person can be guilty or responsible for their actions because you can't understand how anyone can be deliberately cruel. This means that you don't hold grudges. You don't like being angry with people in case they get angry with you. Unfortunately, your adversaries will spot this and take advantage of it. Our advice is: get angry! Confront people who hurt you and don't let them get away with it. Forgive people when you need to, but only when they deserve to be forgiven.

I need to get angry!   

Me too   

Too quick to forgive