Did I just abuse my puppy? Will she forgive and forget?

Hey guys,
      Did something I regret. I have a five month old staffordshire bull terrier pup who I adore and vice versa, she sweetest dog; very affectionate. I have never hurt her and never thought I would go this far but I did lose it that particular day. For the first time she got me really angry and I ended up carrying her up the stairs by her scruff while she was yelping 4x. Now she tenses up and flinches when i touch her. Let me explain:

It started when my sister opened my front door and put  her toy pomeranian puppy on the floor and told me to watch him and left in a hurry. Nala, my staff,  has been a very gentle dog with this pomeranian if allowed to play under supervision but she can get rough if you let her get away with it. I was at the time carrying my 8 month old son when she bolted for the Pomeranian and started jumping on him. The pomeranian was trying to get away snarling and snapping at her. I was scared that she would fracture a bone on this fragile little dog. I was frantic and tried to call her several times and she would not listen so i went up to her and grabbed her scruff and carried her up the stairs all while I was holding my son who was also crying  and I just lost it. While trying to close the door she squeezed through and I caught her 3 more times and had to go back up the stairs. The last time seemed to be painful as i think i grabbed her close to her ear and she was yelping the whole way up but I was p***d so i flung her on the floor like a bowling ball and shut the door. I know she is only a puppy and  it was just a bad moment but it seems that she is now very "flinchy" with me. She has been avoiding me when I try to get near her she would find another spot to lay. I am worried that I have lost her trust and want some ideas on how I can regain it. Thanks

I'm sorry i really don't know what to say, it wouldn't matter how much I was getting frustrated I would never have done that, I think it Weill sake a bit of time now to get the trust back,. I know you must be mortified but I think you need to make sure it doesn't happen again

Oh dear for starters the 2 dogs should have perhaps had a meet and greet outside on neutral ground. She may have been a little territorial. A situation like that needs correcting but in the right way you would have found it more beneficial to have just ignored her for a while.
As to the trust thing it will take time.
Sorry I cant be of more help.
Why not come say hi here   
https://staffy-bull-terrier.niceboard.com/f7-new-member-introductions

Dear Alibata

I have a story to share with you on this issue.

I have "lost it" with our puppy on 3 occasions. Each for a different reason and each a "learning" opportunity for Zeus. One re. peeing inside and two re. biting - specifically proximity of his teeth to our faces.  

Since doing this, which involved slapping of his hindquarters and or grabbing and saying "no" quite aggressively, those particular behaviours stopped dead in their tracks, whilst simultaneously letting our bundle of fluff know what is allowed and what is not.  After getting over my own guilt and remorse I came to realise that he is not made of glass, in fact quite the contrary, Staffies are in my opinion some of the toughest little buggers around, and I feel quite firmly that if you set your doggie straight from time to time but follow that with cuddles and affection etc, then s/he will turn out just fine.  Zeus is great, super friendly, only shows his teeth now in play, and I have zero fear about him ripping out any more earrings, while in my ear...  

That's my 10c worth, hope it helped... All the best.  Lloyd

I'm not excusing what you did, Alibata, but can sympathise with you.

If I understand correctly, your pup and the Pom have met before, know each other and have played with each other previously under supervision - which is good as they are very unmatched in size. Staffies, especially pups, are very boisterous.

With your own human baby in your arms, your sister flings her Pom at you and disappears. The Pom had probably picked up on your sister's agitation anyway, and was then suddenly thrown through the door at you and your Staffie and his "rock" disappeared, leaving a playful, excited and huge (to him) puppy bouncing down on him, so I am not surprised that he acted defensively.

You did have to separate them, and were hampered and upset by your baby in your arms who was distressed by all the hullabaloo.

Personally, I don't know what I would have done in a similar circumstance; these things can't be thought out in advance and we do the best we can at the time.

What's done is done - you separated a boisterous big puppy from a scared little dog, meanwhile dealing with a frightened baby of your own.

Nala, however, won't have understood any of this. Her playfriend suddenly appeared, with lots of exciting noise and flurry. She was whisked away by the scruff of her neck and eventually shut in a bedroom, and can't understand why.

She's bewildered at the moment and doesn't know what she did wrong or why her mum was so cross with her. So, building up her confidence in you may take some time, but with kindness and love she'll come back to you.

Keep the Pom away until you are sure that you and Nala have mended your fences! Then, both you and your sister should re-introduce them calmly and without fuss.

Don't know what to say, we have a 6 month old who can test us to the max believe me I have been in tears with mine a couple of times, if that's the only thing she's done to get you angry then you are lucky.  But it's your dogs home and maybe she was being playful with the other dog way staff pups are.  I know they can test your patience but they are still very young and a reaction like that is not appropriate. As for building bridges then it will take time, but please NEVER do that again.