help at wits end with my boy :(
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help at wits end with my boy :(
Hi Everyone... not been in here for a very long time.
I'm having a real problem with my boy. Barney has always been a very demanding and highly strung little dog. He gets very stressed out (makes himself sick) if we go out and leave him, whick we don't do very often. We have been putting him into the local Kennel to try and get him used to being away from us. We thought it was doing us all the world of good. Until today when we went to pick him up.
We had gone out for lunch yesterday (leaving him in the house for a couple of hours). We came back. The usual he'd been sick. He was due to go into the kennel over night in a couple of hours time. When we took him he didn't want to get out the car (which was very unusual) The man at the kennel said "don't worry he'll be fine when your away".
We went to pick him up today and were told that he was no longer allowed to stay at the kennel. He had been yelping and howling everytime there was nobody about. He said he couldn't have him unsettling all the other dogs in the kennel.
We are at a total loss as where to go from here. We would appreciate any help and advice. Thanks in advance x
lynn x
I'm having a real problem with my boy. Barney has always been a very demanding and highly strung little dog. He gets very stressed out (makes himself sick) if we go out and leave him, whick we don't do very often. We have been putting him into the local Kennel to try and get him used to being away from us. We thought it was doing us all the world of good. Until today when we went to pick him up.
We had gone out for lunch yesterday (leaving him in the house for a couple of hours). We came back. The usual he'd been sick. He was due to go into the kennel over night in a couple of hours time. When we took him he didn't want to get out the car (which was very unusual) The man at the kennel said "don't worry he'll be fine when your away".
We went to pick him up today and were told that he was no longer allowed to stay at the kennel. He had been yelping and howling everytime there was nobody about. He said he couldn't have him unsettling all the other dogs in the kennel.
We are at a total loss as where to go from here. We would appreciate any help and advice. Thanks in advance x
lynn x
barneynlynn- Super Staffy-bull-terrier Member
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Re: help at wits end with my boy :(
Sounds like some serious seperation anxiety. Try not making a fuss and leave him alone for a short time 5-10 minutes. Slowly increase the time and go from there. If you have to leave for a longer period than that make sure he is exercised first so he will be tired.
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Re: help at wits end with my boy :(
Gosh poor boy, thats some seperation anxiety .
I've never dealt with this, all i can suggest is, long walk before hand, really tire him out, leave him with plenty of toys kongs etc too keep jim amuzed. Also going back too basics leaving him for 5 mins then slowly increasing it as time goes by.
Hope you manage too sort it. xx
I've never dealt with this, all i can suggest is, long walk before hand, really tire him out, leave him with plenty of toys kongs etc too keep jim amuzed. Also going back too basics leaving him for 5 mins then slowly increasing it as time goes by.
Hope you manage too sort it. xx
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Re: help at wits end with my boy :(
He's sick every weekend when i'm away to work even though my hubby and kids are in the house. And if my hubby is doing some work up the stairs he makes himself sick even if the kids are down stairs with him. The weird thing about barney was he seemend to like going to the kennels and interacting with the other dogs...
barneynlynn- Super Staffy-bull-terrier Member
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Re: help at wits end with my boy :(
How much exercise is he getting during the day? Does he have a chance to interact with other dogs normally?
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Re: help at wits end with my boy :(
I think the leaving him in kennels has maybe made his anxiety worse, I'm afraid.
As already said, you'll need to go back to very short periods and gradually build up from there. Maybe use an Adaptil spray on his bedding, and an Adaptil plug in. Possibly even a thundershirt. Leave a radio on low for him with some quiet music or a chat programme so that the house isn't totally quiet.
Before you go out, make sure that he has been adequately exercised. Don't make a big thing of it, and don't fuss him & say goodbye etc - just get yourself ready as though it's the most normal thing in the world & go.
I read somewhere recently that every time we leave our dogs (if it isn't built up slowly for reassurance) they consider it abandonment & although some cope well enough with that, others become very anxious & stressed. The build up is all important.
As already said, you'll need to go back to very short periods and gradually build up from there. Maybe use an Adaptil spray on his bedding, and an Adaptil plug in. Possibly even a thundershirt. Leave a radio on low for him with some quiet music or a chat programme so that the house isn't totally quiet.
Before you go out, make sure that he has been adequately exercised. Don't make a big thing of it, and don't fuss him & say goodbye etc - just get yourself ready as though it's the most normal thing in the world & go.
I read somewhere recently that every time we leave our dogs (if it isn't built up slowly for reassurance) they consider it abandonment & although some cope well enough with that, others become very anxious & stressed. The build up is all important.
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Re: help at wits end with my boy :(
thanks for your advice it's appreciated... i will give going back to basics a try. and some more exercise won't go a miss either.
barneynlynn- Super Staffy-bull-terrier Member
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Re: help at wits end with my boy :(
Best of luck. Suki was real bad with seperation aniexty at first as well. We could her her howling as soon as we left the house. It just takes some time and alot of patience.
He needs two walks of 45 minutes each every day. This will help with the energy levels and will help reduce stress.
He needs two walks of 45 minutes each every day. This will help with the energy levels and will help reduce stress.
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Re: help at wits end with my boy :(
It sounds as though he's had some sort of bad experience at the kennels - maybe something frightened him?
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Re: help at wits end with my boy :(
When we first got Rocky he was really stressed about being left. He can from a rescue centre and the lady there told us to build up the time he is left very gradually. We even started by going into a bedroom by ourselves and listen to what he does. We did this and he just went into his crate.
We then started to leave the flat only for a few minutes to begin with then gradually built this time up. Rocky is OK now to be left for a few hours on his own. He now just goes onto our bed and has a sleep, we know this because the bed is nice and warm when we get in. We always leave some music on for him too, he has his own classical collection on the ipod.
Do you have a crate for him to go in while you are out, this may be a very worthwhile investment for you.
We then started to leave the flat only for a few minutes to begin with then gradually built this time up. Rocky is OK now to be left for a few hours on his own. He now just goes onto our bed and has a sleep, we know this because the bed is nice and warm when we get in. We always leave some music on for him too, he has his own classical collection on the ipod.
Do you have a crate for him to go in while you are out, this may be a very worthwhile investment for you.
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Re: help at wits end with my boy :(
Also try and work on his SA in your own home. He will feel much more secure and it will be easier to get him to settle. If you need to be out for long periods get a dog-walker or somebody to pop in and check him. Begin by gradually leaving him for tweny mins/half hour n gradually build it up.
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Re: help at wits end with my boy :(
Personally (and don't take offence) you are going about this in the worst possible way. You are making that poor dog demented. Think of it from his point of view, you are leaving him and he is very scared/anxious. You then come back and probably shout at him for being sick, then you take him to a kennel and leave him scared and alone in a strange place overnight.
Im sure you haven't intended to, but you are making him MUCH Much worse and its no surprise he is so sick.
You need to do this slowly ad gradually, if you can begin to crate train him. Have the crate in the house to use as his den and only when he is used to it (going in and out on his own) you should lock the door for about 5 mins at a time, then let him out. If he has been whining or barking give him not affection. He is quiet, give him a treat and lots of praise. Do this for weeks and weeks, gradually making the time more and more and when he can stay for about 15mins in the crate, start leaving the room and repeat, 5mins away and treat. etc.
You are unsellting him far too much with the kennels business. you can't force a dog to be okay without you by sending them to a cold strange place, it will not work andyou are wasting your money.
Im sure you haven't intended to, but you are making him MUCH Much worse and its no surprise he is so sick.
You need to do this slowly ad gradually, if you can begin to crate train him. Have the crate in the house to use as his den and only when he is used to it (going in and out on his own) you should lock the door for about 5 mins at a time, then let him out. If he has been whining or barking give him not affection. He is quiet, give him a treat and lots of praise. Do this for weeks and weeks, gradually making the time more and more and when he can stay for about 15mins in the crate, start leaving the room and repeat, 5mins away and treat. etc.
You are unsellting him far too much with the kennels business. you can't force a dog to be okay without you by sending them to a cold strange place, it will not work andyou are wasting your money.
Guest- Guest
Re: help at wits end with my boy :(
Also it sounds like you are the main carer, it would be better for him if the rest of the family got more involved so that when you leave for work he isn't as bothered cause there is someone else. Try having your husband walk him and while he is out walking you can leave for work and he might be fine when he gets back home cause he hasn't seen you leave and he has just had a good time with hubby so is tired.
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Re: help at wits end with my boy :(
Hi, I had the same problem with mine, only instead of being sick she used to destroy the entire house, she even chewed the floor, the wall and cable trunk!.
You could try different things. This is what I did.
First you could invest in those adaptors you find at the vet. They are mostly used for fireworks but they work for anxiety separation as well. Also if your boy doesn't have a blanket, buy one and always leave it in his bed even if he doesn't show interest in it (but do not wash it as the smell can upset them).
If you have a piece of your clothing that you wore and you don't mind if your boy gets on it, leave it with him when you leave(again must not be washed as it must have your smell on it), my dog used to be able to open the wardrobe to get to my clothes. I didn't find them ruined, she just layed in them.
When you leave don't make a fuss, say in firm tone, "you be a good boy", I'll be back soon, kiss and cuddle and go. It sounds weird but mine got used to the sound of the words and this routine when I leave. I'm sure she doesn't understand when I say "I'll be back soon" but if I don't say what I always say she does chew.
Sounds weird I know.
When you come back don't say Hello to him straight away. Have a look in the house, and if nothing was chewed say good boy without getting too excited. If he chewed, look at him, indicate what he chewed, and say very firm either "whats that" or "what did you do". He should look at what he chewed, and then tell him to go to his bed and ignore him for at least 5 mins. Then tell him to come say sorry and kisses and cuddles.
It may sound mean but we have to do whats best for them as they may chew something that harms them or worse something they chocke on!
It may not work as not all staffies are the same but it did work with mine as she had separation anxiety really bad.
Also see if he has a fav spot, mine loves sofa obviousely but also she loves laying on the carpet in front of door (on the inside of the house) that it's used to clean my shoes. Yuk! But oh well, whatever makes her happy!
See if you can find a toy that stimulates his chewing and leave that but I would not leave the big dry bone as I have heard of dogs who chocked on them.
You could try different things. This is what I did.
First you could invest in those adaptors you find at the vet. They are mostly used for fireworks but they work for anxiety separation as well. Also if your boy doesn't have a blanket, buy one and always leave it in his bed even if he doesn't show interest in it (but do not wash it as the smell can upset them).
If you have a piece of your clothing that you wore and you don't mind if your boy gets on it, leave it with him when you leave(again must not be washed as it must have your smell on it), my dog used to be able to open the wardrobe to get to my clothes. I didn't find them ruined, she just layed in them.
When you leave don't make a fuss, say in firm tone, "you be a good boy", I'll be back soon, kiss and cuddle and go. It sounds weird but mine got used to the sound of the words and this routine when I leave. I'm sure she doesn't understand when I say "I'll be back soon" but if I don't say what I always say she does chew.
Sounds weird I know.
When you come back don't say Hello to him straight away. Have a look in the house, and if nothing was chewed say good boy without getting too excited. If he chewed, look at him, indicate what he chewed, and say very firm either "whats that" or "what did you do". He should look at what he chewed, and then tell him to go to his bed and ignore him for at least 5 mins. Then tell him to come say sorry and kisses and cuddles.
It may sound mean but we have to do whats best for them as they may chew something that harms them or worse something they chocke on!
It may not work as not all staffies are the same but it did work with mine as she had separation anxiety really bad.
Also see if he has a fav spot, mine loves sofa obviousely but also she loves laying on the carpet in front of door (on the inside of the house) that it's used to clean my shoes. Yuk! But oh well, whatever makes her happy!
See if you can find a toy that stimulates his chewing and leave that but I would not leave the big dry bone as I have heard of dogs who chocked on them.
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