Having a moan

Sorry, not what you need at 9PM but need a rant. I'm in what i like to call my last year of life, i.e. next year i WILL have to get a real job. Due to my less than adequate GCSEs i have worked for the past four years to get myself some grades. I did an access to uni course for two, went to uni for two and got a foundation degree and i am now currently doing my maths and english to bring them up to scratch.

Im very proud of myself for doing this and not just giving up on life, i was so depressed in my full time job before going back to college that i was thinking about offing myself quite regularly!

Thing that annoys me is my parents are always on about me being a sponger (i dont claim anything, i didnt even get a student loan..) and saying how im wasting my time and that everyone my age has moved out of home and has a job and a family and why don't i grow up and stop pretending im a child. Im only 25 for god sake!! I HAVE a job that makes me so depressed (its still the same job only not full time but bank hours) and i pay my way at home by doing the washing, cleaning and sometimes cooking. Im not just sitting on the couch and lying in bed all day. Im SO close to finishing my course and as you know im only back from vacation, but im talking about my exams and my dad says "youve probably wasted another year of yoru life, how will you pass if you have been off for three weeks"

Wtf.

Why are they being this way? Arent parents supposed to want their kids to have an education and get a good job? Mine seem to just want me to work in that hell whole so i can move out and they will be rid of me, no matter what it does to me..

they also dont seem to understand that there are no jobs going at the moment and when i finish this "wasted" year of college they fully expect me to just go back fulll time at my job but say i will have wasted five years, in which i could have done something USEFUL like get a promotion at work (same job and money but more resposibility!) and got an NVQ in health and social. Well, i hate my job. I hate everything about it, i want to work in communications or marketing and PR for the environment, which is what i studied.

Why are they being so horrible and trying to stump my dreams? I feel like im letting them down by not doing what they want me to (i,e get a job and * off)

Sometimes there are just some people who don't understand what you are all about. Keep working hard and going after what you really want to do (you'll be grateful in the end). Hopefully they come around and more than likely pretend like they always believed you could do it. blah blah blah like some people in my life even though I know they didn't. Keep going. Its so worth it. Parents sometimes just are too tempted to compare where their own kids are with "everybody else."

i'm so sorry that this is happening to you. you deserve better. your goals are worthwhile and you deserve more support. anytime you need to vent, do it. we're here for you ><

Oh hayley i have been in a very similar situation myself. I know what it feels like to not have the support of anyone around you ie your family. You keep thinking shouldn't you support your kids if only to a certain degree. Good on you for sticking to your studies, there are no jobs around at the moment, we have to hope that things will get better. If I were lucky enough to have children I would support them for as long as they needed however they needed it.

I wish I had got more out of school when all the education is for free. Now i have to pay for what I want to learn.

When I was your age I had just had to move back home to my parents after splitting up with my fiance and buying a house. Thankfully the house was sold fairly quickly and the whole sorry saga was over for me. It's not easy having to move back in with the parents again after having a taste of freedom though. I then had to sleep on the sofa for a few weeks until I could move in with my brother.

My parents then moved to a much smaller home (a 2 bedroomed tiny bungalow) I was then living back with them. I was made to feel like a lepper just for being there. I had to stay at the bungalow for about 5 years until I met my husband and we were able to get a flat together.

It is sickening, I know. There is nothing worse than being unhappy in your job, been there done that. Please try to keep your chin up. I really hope things pick up soon and have another rant if it makes you feel better. Take care.

Hayley, I am sorry to hear about your issues, so glad you got it out tho. Doesn' t it make you feel better inside, just to know you got it out. To a point your parents do care, they are keeping after you, you may not see it in the same way they do. I mean maybe things are differnt here. As I look around at the everyone I grew up with and is my age (25) they have all gotten married, had kids, making a wonderful living for themselves,have finished up college...they had the parents money to help them through, their parents are so proud, and then you have the rest who have went in the other direction, went to school finished, living on their own, been outcast, and doing the weird stuff, you don't wanna mention. and then you have the me's I was kicked out when i was 14, i quit high school so i could work full time, got my ged 2 years after i orginially should have finished high school, found a boyfriend, lived with him, found a job, been unhappy wiht my job, haven't been to college. I work at subway 40 -50 hrs a week, what i have is all i have, my car will be paid off in a year, i have no savings, have credit card debit, dont talk to my parents since they told me to F**K OFF! My dreams were crushed when i was 14, so all I can say is don't let them get you down, if your doing what you need to do in life, then do it. someday I'm going to go to school for nursing, I am very scared to go, and someday I'll have a family but I guess right now is not the time.
`So as far as I'm concerned, Hayley, You are doing things the right way, parents just don't understand.(lol) and if i could have i would have done things differntly. so Keep ya head up girl and know that there are people who support what your doing.

Oh mate, totally relate but in the opposite kind of way.

I have my own place, got my mortgage when I was 24 and I have proper smart little appartment, me and Moo, and my mum is great, has Moo 3 x a week as I work full time.

I lost my career near 2 years ago. Used to run pubs and got sacked for gross misconduct. Took them to court and won. Worst year I went through in my life. And having to go to court is not something I would wish on anyone.

I had to get a job asap as I had bills, and work where I am now. Couldn't be more unhappy, but I haven't a choice. Can't go home, can't afford to retrain, proper tied to where I live. Having a property isn't the be all and end all.

Makes me ever so down. Stay at home till you have decided what you want, however hard it is. Wish I had.

Sorry to go on Xx

keep strong! work hard! and do what you need to do for YOU! not for your parents. I am sorry for you having the lack of support from them, that really sucks. and you're right -they're your parents they should be there to support you! even at 25, you have a child - you have it for life (just like a dog ) so if they weren't up for supporting you through whatever you chose, maybe they should have used some protection!

sorry I may have gone too far there.
anyway - main points - stay strong and work hard for what you want!

Keep your chin up you are on the right track. I was the first in my family to graduate college. My parents basically kicked me out when I was 18 and changed the locks. Now after a few years of struggling I couldn't be happier

Sorry to hear of your situation But don't give up, it will pay off in the end. I believe you get out what you put in so keep doing it, prove your parents wrong. Don't feel that you are letting them down because you aren't doing what THEY want you to do, some valuable advise I can offer is .. LOOK AFTER NUMBER ONE !

I'm 31 next month, I still live at home with my parents ! Truth is, who can move out on their own these days ? Hardly anyone. I couldn't afford it. I've moved in with an ex previously, but that's different. I'd rather stay at home until I can afford to move out, rather than move out, struggle, feel down because of it, and move back home. I believe if you move out, you need to do it properly. So don't worry, keep up the grafting, you'll thank yourself for it !

hayley sorry to hear of your situation, things will work out for you, keep going, keep trying to better yourself and keep smiling

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Y'know some parents remember their own youth & try to relate that to today's social climate. It's just not the same.

When I was at school most kids left at 15 & just went out & got a job. There were loads of jobs & you could just keep your eyes open for a better one & move on. It isn't the same now. Young people (and I have two young adults myself) want more from life than just a job. They want to do something that interests them & will stretch their minds. You sound just like that. I commend you for it.

I was a bit of a strange one in my family. Everybody else left school asap. I stayed on for A levels & then went in for a career job in Nat West bank. I took my banking exams (well the first 2 parts anyway) & all this time I lived with my mum & dad.

They never put pressure on me to leave, but they didn't really understand why I was there! I didn't leave home till I was 28 & had met my oh. I bought a tiny 1 bed flat in West Ealing.

Have you tried sitting down with your parents & try to explain what you want from life? That you want a satisfying career, not just a dead end job?