My dog is in danger

In order to tell you this story i'm going to have to tell you a little bit of background info. As a child, growing up I loved dogs. I desperately wanted one and wasn't allowed.
When I was older and dropped out of uni and suffered from extreme depression my mother said I could get one. She changed her mind as soon as I started buying dog food.
A few months later my sister decided she wanted a dog. What my sister wants she gets and we got Romeo to 'share'. By the time Romeo was twelve weeks my sister had lost interest and Romeo became mine, despite my mother saying she was going to sell him back because she had paid for him.
I signed on and saved up all my money to 'buy' him from her. By the time he was a year old he was mine officially and microchipped and registered at the vets in my name. I worked part time two and a half days a week.
When he was fifteen months I got a full time job. After being with me almost every hour of the day Romeo is without me from 7.30 in the morning till I come home at night, 6.30pm on a good day. I get up at 5am to make sure he has a good walk before work and useally walk him after work as well.
When i'm not working all my time is dedicated to him. I begrudge him nothing.
Since the day we bought him home as a tiny 8 week old puppy Romeo has been allowed to sleep on the sofa and had free run of the house. (Although he always follows me around)
My mother has decided he can't sit on the sofa anymore or be in the living room. She has no clue about dog training. She is, to put it politely, batcrap crazy. As my sister has witnessed she lets Romeo sit on the sofa for hours then suddenly starts screaming and swiping at him to get off. She was screaming in his face the other day and he growled at her. My neighbour who was there at the time told her to stop screaming in his face as he felt threatened. Her friend who was visiting from Wales at the time and HATES dogs told my mother he was dangerous.
Guess who she listened to?
Romeo won't get off the sofa. He doesn't understand that shes suddenly decided after two years hes not allowed, she doesn't understand that thats not how to 'talk' to dogs.
I have heard since I was 10 or so how much she hates me and she wants me to leave. Why, then, you ask, at the ancient age of 24 am I still living here?
I can't afford to move out. Oh, I wish I could. I would pitch a tent in the bloody local park if i could. My mothers never worked a day in her life, shes always been fired in a few days because shes so FREAKING CRAZY.
Now all this hatred she feels for me is directed at my dog as well. He is apparently vicious. She told me he snapped at the baby. She said hes going to attack them all one day and shes going to get rid of him.
I told her hes not your dog to get rid of and if you touch a hair on his head I will kill you. I mean that literally.
Without Romeo I would have nothing left to live for. Going to prison would mean nothing if he was gone.
Today I got a chance to talk to my sister and asked her seriously if he really did snap at the baby? She said no, the baby (my nephew) was slapping him on the bum and he turned round and huffed at him to show he didn't like it. He is always patient with the baby. (who is a little s**t) he licks his face when he cries.
My mum went as far as to phone my grandfather (her father) up to tell him she wants to get rid of the dog. He told her she can't do that, hes not her dog and I have to go to work.
I am terrified about leaving him incase I come home and hes not here. I am considering locking him in my room but that wouldn't be fair on him, he has had the run of the house since he was a wee puppy.
He doesn't chew anything and is perfectly behaved. According to my mother he is vicious and going to attack her.She is fed up of 'looking after him everyday'. He doesn't require any 'looking after'. All she has to do is let him out for a wee at lunchtime, he doesn't DO anything!
I don't know what to do....

I know this will sound silly and probably the last thing that you think will help but have you tried sitting your mum down and having a serious chat about it. If your not in a position to move out then at least you could try and maybe agree on certain ground rules together. This way it won't upset you or Romeo.

Thats about all I can advise really. We're all here if you need to vent. Chin up and be strong. Xx

Really sorry to hear about your crap situation, poor you and poor Romeo I can TOTALLY sympathize on your situation about living at home .. I'm 30, still live with my mum and dad, I just cannot afford to move out on my own, but you and I are not alone in that kinda situation in this day and age ! I really, really hope the situation turns around somewhat, I know you'll get heaps of good advice from this lot : )

janey wrote:
I know this will sound silly and probably the last thing that you think will help but have you tried sitting your mum down and having a serious chat about it. If your not in a position to move out then at least you could try and maybe agree on certain ground rules together. This way it won't upset you or Romeo.

Thats about all I can advise really. We're all here if you need to vent. Chin up and be strong. Xx

I tried sitting down with her to explain why Romeo won't get off the sofa and how to speak to him, she wouldn't listen to me. She never does.

janey wrote:
I know this will sound silly and probably the last thing that you think will help but have you tried sitting your mum down and having a serious chat about it. If your not in a position to move out then at least you could try and maybe agree on certain ground rules together. This way it won't upset you or Romeo.

Thats about all I can advise really. We're all here if you need to vent. Chin up and be strong. Xx

Definitley agree with this. Sounds like the only option you have is to sit her down and tell her straight. I kinda had the same problem with my parents when we got Monty at 9 weeks. It had been YEARS since we had a dog in the house. But as we just had the carpet ripped up and wooden flooring put down, I kinda swayed them, but my mum (mostly) really didn't buy the idea of me wanting a dog. It was the same when we got our African Gray, she was having none of it .. but she warmed to the idea when we had him. As long as, as Janey says, set some ground rules with your mum, have a good chat with her, hopefully there will be some light at the end of it. Do you get on with your mum ?

Wow, sounds like some heavy sh!t ... cant really offer any advice I'm afraid ... are you on the council waiting list ? (it can sometimes move things on quicker if things arent working at home I think, and your mum agree's to say she's kicking you out ?? ) ... not much help really .. hope things get sorted soon for ya

shakespearesdog wrote:
I tried sitting down with her to explain why Romeo won't get off the sofa and how to speak to him, she wouldn't listen to me. She never does.

Without telling her try just talking things through.

I know with my mum, that telling how to do things and arguing over it will just escalate the problem further. My mum kicked me out when I was 17, we where constantly arguing so now days I know that when she throws a wobbly that if I sit down and have a calm conversation, usually with me biting my tounge on neutral grounds we tend to always come to an agreement.

Unfourtunatly as the saying goes 'under my roof its my rules', and the best thing you can try and do is come to some sort of truce.

Maria. wrote:

janey wrote:
I know this will sound silly and probably the last thing that you think will help but have you tried sitting your mum down and having a serious chat about it. If your not in a position to move out then at least you could try and maybe agree on certain ground rules together. This way it won't upset you or Romeo.

Thats about all I can advise really. We're all here if you need to vent. Chin up and be strong. Xx

Definitley agree with this. Sounds like the only option you have is to sit her down and tell her straight. I kinda had the same problem with my parents when we got Monty at 9 weeks. It had been YEARS since we had a dog in the house. But as we just had the carpet ripped up and wooden flooring put down, I kinda swayed them, but my mum (mostly) really didn't buy the idea of me wanting a dog. It was the same when we got our African Gray, she was having none of it .. but she warmed to the idea when we had him. As long as, as Janey says, set some ground rules with your mum, have a good chat with her, hopefully there will be some light at the end of it. Do you get on with your mum ?

No she hates me. Like I said shes not really all there in the head. She has paranoid delusions and fantasies and shes gradually getting more and more mental as she gets older. I think shes having some sort of midlife crisis.
To give you an idea, when the 9/11 attacks happened she thought Osama Bin Laden was going to come down the street and kill us all because we're jewish. She bought loads of brown tape and taped up all the windows and then drove down to Southend so if the terrorists came for her she could 'escape to France'.

shakespearesdog wrote:

Maria. wrote:

janey wrote:
I know this will sound silly and probably the last thing that you think will help but have you tried sitting your mum down and having a serious chat about it. If your not in a position to move out then at least you could try and maybe agree on certain ground rules together. This way it won't upset you or Romeo.

Thats about all I can advise really. We're all here if you need to vent. Chin up and be strong. Xx

Definitley agree with this. Sounds like the only option you have is to sit her down and tell her straight. I kinda had the same problem with my parents when we got Monty at 9 weeks. It had been YEARS since we had a dog in the house. But as we just had the carpet ripped up and wooden flooring put down, I kinda swayed them, but my mum (mostly) really didn't buy the idea of me wanting a dog. It was the same when we got our African Gray, she was having none of it .. but she warmed to the idea when we had him. As long as, as Janey says, set some ground rules with your mum, have a good chat with her, hopefully there will be some light at the end of it. Do you get on with your mum ?

No she hates me. Like I said shes not really all there in the head. She has paranoid delusions and fantasies and shes gradually getting more and more mental as she gets older. I think shes having some sort of midlife crisis.
To give you an idea, when the 9/11 attacks happened she thought Osama Bin Laden was going to come down the street and kill us all because we're jewish. She bought loads of brown tape and taped up all the windows and then drove down to Southend so if the terrorists came for her she could 'escape to France'.

Oh. Don't know what to say to that ! Do you have family you can go to ? Friends you can rent with ?

Andy wrote:Wow, sounds like some heavy sh!t ... cant really offer any advice I'm afraid ... are you on the council waiting list ? (it can sometimes move things on quicker if things arent working at home I think, and your mum agree's to say she's kicking you out ?? ) ... not much help really .. hope things get sorted soon for ya

She went to the council to tell them she was kicking me out and they said they can't help because I work full time and i'm english born. The best they could do is put me in a hostel with tramps and drug addicts which of course doesn't allow dogs.

Sorry for the really long quotes guys, my right click button is playing up! No I don't have any friends
My nan lives right by us but I can't live there as shes very unwell and her asthma plays up with the dog hair.
Thanks everyone for answering me. I appreciate it.

Jade I really feel for you..what a terrible dilemma.

I can't offer any solution at all but I am sending you a big >< and just hope for yours and Romeo's sake that something good comes out of all this...

Im really sorry about the way things are going at home. I wish i could help you. It seems to me your mother could be suffering with some sort of mental illness. I dont mean this because of the dog, you mentioned delusions. A member of my family has bipola disorder. The behaviour your listing seems fit. Im not a docter or trying to say she is, but from my own experiance, it sounds like she may not be very well. It's a shame you couldnt get your dog and your mother to become friends. Would she go on a walk, somewhere relaxing, like the beach. She may find herself falling in love with him. I hope this helps

I know it sounds strange but do you have enough money to buy a second hand caravan off ebay or something. you could buy one park it in the drive or right outside and have your own little mini house where Romeo could sleep on the sofa all day

Just a thought thats what my friend done as her mum and her never got on at all xx

Jade, what the council said is wrong, whats english born got to do with it.

Could Romeo go somewhere for the day then you pick him up after work, your grandfather seemed reasonable.

jade, you have to speak to somebody, Im concerned for your mothers well being. She really doesnt sound well. It sounds to me she's had a few manic episodes. Again im really sorry to suggest this, but without her sorting help, it wont go way. Try having a chat with your gp.

Where are you living jade

in the short term offer some extra rent money to your mother while keeping an eye out for dog friendly house share.

if it comes to it, providing your dog is dog friendly and he gets on with my girl, I'm happy to offer short term foster for your dog while you sort things out, at no cost obviously

\\\\m/ to cmr, that sounds great, wish i could help

that's ok, I'm off work for a bit and I do like male
dogs so it's for my benefit just as much

.

Hey Jade, sorry things are still bad for you at home at the moment hun.

Dont know what too suggest but i think you need too go back too the council and get on at them its not good for you too live in that environment and if your mum says shes kicking you out then they have too rehome you, even if its in a hostal for a little bit you have had a lovely offer from cmr who would look after romeo for you for a bit. what about looking for a room too rent someone that will allow you too take your boy.

just wanna say its People like you jade that show there are still people out there who treat there pets as family and would do anything too keep them. We all know how much you adore your boy and i really do hope you get this resolved for both you and romeo too have a better life.

Michelle n the gang xx

Hi, have you tried getting on any social housing lists. Depending on where you live but there should be some in your area. Would be best to get on as many waiting lists as possible. Also check your local newspapers for places to rent. It sounds like even a bedsit would be better than where you are right now.

You must check first that it is OK to keep a dog though.

We are with Places for People and they have property all over the UK. Please get in touch with them I have copied their contact details below, and yes they have allowed us to have a dog.

Maybe start with dropping them an email explaining the situation and ask for an application pack.

Social housing associations have mainly taken over from councils now in supplying affordable homes.

http://www.placesforpeople.co.uk/contact_us/customers.aspx

what an awful situation for you to be in,really feel for you,it must be so scary when you go out wondering if romeo is ok,hope you get things sorted really soon hun ><

jade, you have to speak to somebody, Im concerned for your mothers well being. She really doesnt sound well. It sounds to me she's had a few manic episodes. Again im really sorry to suggest this, but without her sorting help, it wont go way. Try having a chat with your gp.

Shes not. The doctor gave her valium and tranquilizers years ago to stop her mania but they just made her fall asleep and then she couldn't look after us kids.

Where are you living jade

I live in north London.

I know it sounds strange but do you have enough money to buy a second hand caravan off ebay or something. you could buy one park it in the drive or right outside and have your own little mini house where Romeo could sleep on the sofa all day

You know I was considering something like that. I can't afford it though-and I can't drive! Good idea though.

if it comes to it, providing your dog is dog friendly and he gets on with my girl, I'm happy to offer short term foster for your dog while you sort things out, at no cost obviously

Thats a very kind offer. I don't think I could trust anyone else with Romeo though, he can be a bit funny. Hes good as gold with me but he doesn't listen to anyone else.
Hoping my mum will calm down and get over it. I wish I could bring him with me to work, I asked my boss (who likes dogs) but he said no.
Its just stress I don't need, I have enough stress at my sh**ty job. (I don't know why I bother to work-I get paid peanuts for the hours I put in. Its enough to me quit and go get pregnant and pop out kids, i'd get a free flat and no taxes to pay. Its isn't fair! )
Nope i'm not entitled to council housing because i'm not foreign with 14 children. I spoke to them about it.
Just wish I earnt enough to rent my own place. I'll never be able to afford it at this rate, i'd have to be earning AT LEAST double what i'm earning now. I don't even earn enough to save anything out of my wages.
I did consider a dog walker but they all seem to be hidiously expensive and I don't trust anyone else walking Romeo. He can be very aggressive to other males and a sex pest to unspayed females.
It sounds like hes a proper handful doesn't it hes not to me because I know his body language 100% and all his moods and little quirks-but I could imagine he could be quite difficult to someone that isn't completely familier with him.

instead of looking for a flat have you tried looking for a bedsit they are cheaper

Shes now just said to me that she wants me to put him in her bedroom (its the only room left with a baby gate) I said wouldn't it make more sense just to put a babygate/shut the door on the living room. She said no I don't want him in the rest of the house.
I don't think its very fair to shut him in there all day. I think shes been utterly ridiculous.

I can't afford a bedsit. London is so expensive you wouldn't believe. It would be a chance in a million to find a dog friendly bedsit as well.
Wish I earnt more.

Do you pay rent, Jade ?

Do you pay rent, Jade

I pay rent, pay for the gas metre, pay for the phone/internet bill and buy all my own food. I also give my mum money/buy odd groceries if she askes me and i've got.

if your finances limit your options, do your best to find the strength to compromise. If it means you will remain toghether, just one room is not too bad if you leave him home tired. Dogs adjust easily and before too long he won't know any difference.

then if it doesnt work, keep an eye out for alternatives.


Catalin

Well if you pay rent in the house Jade, you have just as much right to have your dog there with you ! What your mum has just recently said in your above post is a bit out of touch and a bit rediculous. You can't lock a dog away ... I would say just tell your mum straight .. you pay into the house, you have every right to have a dog (you are being responsible for the dog after all). I know the saying is 'my house, my rules', my opinion is this .. if you pay rent and help keep the house standing, well, part of that house is YOURS.

I gave my view on it earlier and you have 3 options in my eyes;

1: you move out (which isn't an option for you)

2: you and your mum have to make this work by talking it over

3: your forced to have romeo rehomed (which isn't an option for you)

Be inclined to head towards no;2 Xx

I agree, bite the bullet and talk to her.

I know this might sound stupid and I'm probably not the best person to give advice because Im only 12. My mam isnt mad about dogs but she always says she would never see any harm come to a do and lets me take charge with training etc. Hehe!

But my advice is could you maybe stay witha friend or another family member until you are in the position to move out?

nderstand what Jade means. Not only is renting very pricey, but then you have to find a place that ALLOWS dogs. Here in helsinki its almost impossible. I have never had to deal with people threatening my animals... me yes, but not my pets.
I know it sounds horrible, but you would be amazed how well staffs adjust, maybe shutting him in your room is for the best. whats worse, him in your room... or your mum taking him to the pound and having a needle stuck up his leg.
Me and my Romeo went from living in a 80m2 apartment to a 26m2 apartment due to lack of money, he got over it. But then again i am in a position to take romeo to work with me unlike you.

If your not making enough money, try looking for a different job. it doesnt mean you have to quit your current one.
Its like your mum is trying to cripple you. she wants you gone, but she doesnt give the the ability to leave, take about mind *.

Really wish i could help, have you spoken to housing advice and shelter. Also, if your on a low income you can apply for help getting a bond. You may also qualify for a crisis loan from the dss 2 help with a bond.

Hi jade

Firstly I feel really bad for your situation no one should have to be put in this dilemma.

From what I've read Romeo is your pride and joy and you two should never be separated Have you ever thought of moving out of London? I know it may not be a option with your job but possibly thought about living somewhere else in England? I live in Essex which is only about a 30min train journey from London but flats and renting are so much cheaper down here than London you may be able to rent somewhere for roughly £500 a month or even less! There are also websites that specialise in renting with pets! I know travelling to London is expensive but if you was to say move out of London you could get a new job close to home n start up fresh somewhere else?

I don't know if this is a option for you but just a suggestion hope it helps can't bare the thought of you loosin your boy xxx

kenny d wrote:jade, you have to speak to somebody, Im concerned for your mothers well being. She really doesnt sound well. It sounds to me she's had a few manic episodes. Again im really sorry to suggest this, but without her sorting help, it wont go way. Try having a chat with your gp.

janey wrote:
I gave my view on it earlier and you have 3 options in my eyes;
1: you move out (which isn't an option for you)
2: you and your mum have to make this work by talking it over
3: your forced to have romeo rehomed (which isn't an option for you)
Be inclined to head towards no;2 Xx

I think you first need to speak to your GP. Not just on behalf of your mum, but also yourself. Your mum's menatl health is also affecting you.

Then you need to sit down with your mum & work aout some ground rules. Don't demand things or tell her she must do this or that, but make sugestions that seem reasonable & ask her to cooperate with them. If necessary you could leave Romeo in your room during the day, he would adjust very quickly as long as he has a really good walk before you leave him & then again when you come home.

You mention your grandfather - could he perhaps have Romeo during the day? Does he live near enough for you to drop him off in the morning?

Thanks everyone for your words of support. Its nice to know that i'm not completely alone.

Its like your mum is trying to cripple you. she wants you gone, but she doesnt give the the ability to leave, take about mind

Thats what shes like exactly!

Have you ever thought of moving out of London? I know it may not be a option with your job but possibly thought about living somewhere else in England? I live in Essex which is only about a 30min train journey from London but flats and renting are so much cheaper down here than London you may be able to rent somewhere for roughly £500 a month or even less! There are also websites that specialise in renting with pets! I know travelling to London is expensive but if you was to say move out of London you could get a new job close to home n start up fresh somewhere else?

Yeh I would really like to move out of London but there aren't many jobs about at the moment. I really do want to get another job, I hate mine and i've been looking but I haven't found anything worth applying for. its not like I have the greatest CV either. I never planned on being an office drudge, I was going to be an artist. I was an artist. Then life kicked me up the bum.
Oh well needs must.

I think you first need to speak to your GP. Not just on behalf of your mum, but also yourself. Your mum's menatl health is also affecting you.

Then you need to sit down with your mum & work aout some ground rules. Don't demand things or tell her she must do this or that, but make sugestions that seem reasonable & ask her to cooperate with them. If necessary you could leave Romeo in your room during the day, he would adjust very quickly as long as he has a really good walk before you leave him & then again when you come home.

You mention your grandfather - could he perhaps have Romeo during the day? Does he live near enough for you to drop him off in the morning?

Her mental health has affected me my whole life. Shes impossible to talk to about anything. I quite resonably suggested I buy a baby gate for the living room so he doesn't go in there and her answer was 'I don't want him in the living room.' I said yes I know so the gate will stop him going it.
'No I don't want him in the living room.' Its like talking to a brick wall. I wish I could leave my room open when I go out, but if I go out i have to lock my door because my sister steals things. Not just borrowing like some irritating siblings do but actual stealing. She once took my jewellery and sold it.
Unfortunately my grandfather lives in Lancaster Gate and theres no way he would look after Romeo even if he did live nearer. Hes a songwriter and is in the studio all day.
My nana actually poked her head out the window this morning as I was walking past (she lives three door down) and asked me if I was alright. I told her what my mum had said about Romeo and she said it was stupid and he'll have to get used to going to hers.
She suggested it before but then changed her mind so i'm not sure she means it. Shes good with dogs, she had them when she was younger but shes very, very frail. I'm just worried that if Romeo was with her he would jump up on her and not get off and hurt her, or accidently headbutt her and make her fall over. Also my grandfather (step) is obsessed with the garden looking neat and gets upset when Romeo wees on his plants. I think he'd have a heart attack if he did a poo!
I think i'll speak to her later and see if we can work something out. Possibly a crate if he goes to my nans house, or letting my granpa take him for a short walk. (I trust him because I know he never lets him off lead or would take him to the park, just around the block) I put Romeo in my mums room as she wanted me to this morning but she just told me to F off because she was sleeping. I left him in the house with the living room door shut.

I know a lot of people have already commented here on this.

I know you say your mum has 'problems' she definatly sounds to have Bipolar disorder. Im saying this as I am bipolar and went through those periods until I was correctly medicated. I think she needs to seek help, and if she wont go of her own accord you and your family can request a mental health assesment from your local authority.

I know you say finances is tight especially since you seem to be funding everything, but have you considered a dog walker or doggie day care??
It something I do for my clients who work all day providing they are friendly as I have 3 dogs of my own.

With regard to council housing it is worth getting yourself on the waiting list and applying each week for the properties they deem suitable for your needs. I had to do this and eventually I got myself a little place to call my own. It is really worth sticking it out on the list and constantly applying as they will see your determined to get somewhere, even if u find a private let in between.
I also looked at moving out the area where I had lived all my life. I moved further up north into a smaller house (2 beds) with a yard, dog friendly and quiet area for £395 a month. I made up CV's for dogs and got references from my vet who has always treated my dogs as backup and it worked.

If I can help Im here, hope things ease off

Claire

I also looked at moving out the area where I had lived all my life. I moved further up north into a smaller house (2 beds) with a yard, dog friendly and quiet area for £395 a month

Thats SO CHEAP. bedsits in my local area start at £800 a month-excluding bills. One bed flats are upwards of £1200.
She has PMS, pre menstrul syndrome. Its like pmt but it affects you mentally. Its not like normal pmt when you get a bit angry or cry or whatever its mood swings, mania etc. Shes also a bit unstable. She had an accident when she was younger and had severe brain injury and ever since then shes been a bit crazy. She might have bipolar, I agree it does sound like it but the doctors shes been to over the years have never diagnosed her as having it.

I'd consider putting him in a room behind a gate, under the condition that he is let out to wee at least twice. It isn't ideal, and Romeo definitely is going to take some time to get used to it, but if it's a choice between that or your mum sneaking him out when you're not there.....

At least it'll be a room and not a cage. Seriously, I'd consider it at least. Good luck Jade.

What an awful situation to be in! I am so sorry for you and Romeo!

[quote
She went to the council to tell them she was kicking me out and they said they can't help because I work full time and i'm english born. The best they could do is put me in a hostel with tramps and drug addicts which of course doesn't allow dogs. [/quote]

Sounds about right , you're not having so much luck are you , really hope you get things sorted out , my mum was the biggest lover of dogs ever we always had border collies at home and she loved snuggle with my cousin's staffy , lost her 20 years ago and just so pleased I never had to say anything bad against her.

Aww very sorry for your loss Dave, she sounds like she was a lovely mother and person in general!

Jade I'm so sorry for everything thats happening, we are always here to talk!

That is a horrible situation!
Keep the dog under lock and key if you're away and oh god...please keep your insane mother away from that poor animal!

Sorry to here about your situation Jade My Mother has also been unstable in the past and I know from personal experience that trying to even hold a civilised dicussion with them in this 'mode' is impossible. They can argue that Black is White all day (which gets you nowhere) Having said that my relationship with her improved as soon as I moved out...
...I know your feeling like you are losing an impossible battle atm, but stay focused on you and Romeo staying together and you will be surprised at what you will be able to make happen Gx

Get her sectioned? if she is as crazy as you say, shouldn't be hard.

after reading some of your answers, just to give an idea (before the school run, help I need a life!!!), up until 2 years ago I was renting a 3 bedroom detached house outside one of the gates to bushy park for £1400 per month. thats 30 minutes to Waterloo by rail. I'm not suggesting you move here its just that there are similarly better value places within reasonable commute all over London, you just need to re - asses your priorities and actively look for a way out.

I feel for you as my dad wasn't much of a dog lover either and I couldn't work out why my dog at the time always wanted to attack him. my sister later told me my dad used to hit him while I was at work so that drama led to me finding another place to live and moving on. not the best way to find your wings but it only got better for me as I left huge sources of stress behind right there.