6 weeks on Saturday since Baileys passing....

Saturday will mark 6 weeks since our furboy died and left us in total shock and disbelief.
I've thought many a time since then to write on here, but did not want to spread my grief and make everyone as sad as me!
I feel more capable now to write without bursting in to tears.
I don't think time will ever heal - I still cry every day for our loss, but I can control it now.
we miss our boy desperatley - life will never be the same.
Bailey was so much more than a pet - he was our boy amd our mate - I couldn't have loved him any more than if I'd given birth to him!
What a character - he was funny and stubborn and silly as a sack of poo!
We had him from a pup and he was with us for 9 and a half years - saying gooodbye and making that final decision wil always haunt us.
We have many many photos of him to remind us of all the different thing s he did - boy, we have 1000 at least and so many video clips - we never realised he must have had the camera on hi all of his life!!
I'm thinking about him now as I write, and trying not to cry - he was our world, but we have to remember we still have out furgirl Shadow, and she gets so much more love!!
We are thinking when we move-to get her a pal - not ever as a replacement for Bailey, but just so she has someone to communicate with - other than us!!
I've only just been able to get through a day without bawling my eyes out he was our whole world and we miss him like crazy!
I've sobbed for five weeks - I haven't been able to talk about him without crying - so, this is a srep forward to be able to write this and not be in floods of tears.
Time isn't a healer, you just kinda find a way to live iwthout him.
I wish every day that he was her with us.
I look around at our home and think how empty it is now.
I would give anything to have him back, one more kiss, one more hug.
I know our final week together - he was going downhill every day in front of our eyes, we had one evening when me and him cuddled all evening and he was licking my face and kissing me over and over - this was before I was ready to accept he was going - I was still in the frame of mind that once his meds were sorted, he would be Ok, so we're cuddling, he's licking me, I didn't realise this was going to be our last proper cuddle.
But, when I think about it now, how he was towards me - he knew, he knew it was over, and the kisses he gave me - he was just telling me how much he loved me!
Sorry, just made myself cry.
Maybe I loved him too much, but you know what, so what, I know when he died, he died after a full life filled with love.
We can never feel guilty - he was spoiled and loved so much, he ruled us - we were his humans!!
We'll always miss him, but 6 weeks on, wwithout cryinge are somehow finding a way to live each day.
I still cannot talk about him without crying, cannot think about him too much without crying, but so long as I focus on everyday things and not him, I am OK.
Look, the reason I am posting is this - when the loss was fresh, I didn't know what to think, how I would ever get on with my life without my boy, I think it would have helped if I could have read about other peoples grief.
I thought plenty of times about pouring my grief out here, but I didn't want to make everyone as sad as me!
If my loss can help someone else deal with their loss, than the post has not been in vain.
If you have lost your furbaby, my toughts are with you na dI'm sending you a huge doggy hug x x x

Oh Rach I am so very sorry to read your news. They become such a huge part of our lives that when they leave us it really does hurt. You gave him a wonderful life of which I'm sure he enjoyed every minute of. The paw print that he's left on your heart will always be there though the pain will slowly fade and be replaced with the many many happy memories.

I'm sure Shadow will be grieving in her own way too so those extra hugs won't be going amiss. Huge hugs from me and Flo at this sad time.

As a post script, when or if your able to, we have a memorial section further down the main forum page should you want to leave your own tribute and as a wonderful reminder of Bailey.

So very sorry Xxx

What a sad sad message so sorry for your loss we are all thinking of you and ur other fur baby r.i.p bayley x.

So sorry to hear about your loss and the pain you are going through. I can tell from your words that you gave him a wonderful life. He was as lucky to have you as you were to have him. You said maybe you loved him too much. I believe you can never love an animal too much, he was part of your family and of course you would love him. When I lost my beloved lab it broke my heart. People who have dogs know the empty hole they leave. It took me years to be able to say her name without crying. I would look at dogs in the street and just cry. If anyone talked about their dog I would leave the room. It was the worst pain I've ever gone through.Your love for your dog's is quite evident from your writing. I think if you were to get Shadow a friend then that dog would think it had won the lottery coming to live with you. X

Always remember u gave bailey everything and he had a wonderful life our pets are our life for most of us you shouldnt apologise for loving such a wonderful breed rest in peace bailey. Ps: im crying after reading your heartfelt words

Tears came to my eyes while reading about the loss of your beloved Bailey, iam so sorry for your loss.

Feel so sad for you reading this post.

Time is a great healer, remember all the love you gave him and the happiness he brought to your family during his life, it is devastating when this time comes, but try not to dwell on it and concentrate on all the fun and love your dog brought to you.

Thank you Ian, Inez Maria, Markrobo, Mistys mum, Mia05, dav and doogz for your lovely and kind words. I know you all know how I feel - to us, our dogs are family and not 'pets' - there's an extra step that we take - and that is really taking their thoughts and feelings in to consideration. Someone said to me once that I had blurred the lines and had confused my dogs so they didn't know whether they were humans or dogs! That made me quite sad fore a while. But, then I thought, you know what, I don't mind if they think they're humans, I can only treat them in the way that comes most natural to me - with the same love and respect I would give to anyone else!
We miss our boy, but we are coping better now than we were 6 weeks ago.
And reading all your kind words helps ease the pain , thank you x x x

my heart is breaking reading this,so sorry for your loss,you can never spoil our babies and so many on here will love their dogs like one of the family because they are our family,my thoughts are with you at this horrible time xx

So sad reading your heartfelt post, and I know I, as do many others, feel your pain. We lost our old boy Floyd 18 months ago to a brain tumour, and I have just had my own little melt down! The pain never leaves you, you just learn to remember the good times you had together. You are right when you say they aren't just pets, they are family, and after such a long time with us, their loss is devastating.
sending you all our love at this painful time.
Lynn, Pete and Theia