Specific separation issue

Morning all,
8 months ago I added a new pup to the household, and then three weeks later the other half and I split up. Result was that I had a 6 month old rescued Staff, who had been neglected severely by a drug addicted lady local to me.

The pup in question, Ciel, has come on in leaps and bounds, albeit I have found it incredibly hard balancing a full time job, and two Staffs, as a single guy.

The remaining issue I have now is proving hard to shake, and I really could do with some advice.

Ciel is perfectly happy to be left in the house with Muse, his 4 year old brother, however if I am in the house, and behind a closed door in another room, all hell lets loose. He cries, yips, barks, and soils all over the house.

I have a very new partner who is now starting to stay here occasionally, and "private time" is very much not private - we're serenaded constantly by Ciel's crying, which is quite off putting, to put it mildly. Hardly romantic, and I have neighbours to think about also.

Last night it came to a peak and I stepped out of the bedroom at -1:30am to mess everywhere, and he had been barking so incessantly he'd actually set his brother off.

When I am alone in the house, the dogs sleep in my room with me at night, and I appreciate this is the central part of what I've done wrong - but can anyone share their experiences of how they have dealt with the above?

Ciel is now 14 months old.

Thanks to everyone who reads, and comments.

Hi ya, welcome to the forum from Flo and me

Awkward situation, can I ask, what food and exercise he has? Not to criticise but to understand if this might some effect

food wise he is fed Harringtons (dry) and has a good appetite. Walks wise its typically an hour to an hour and a half a day on stretchy lead (he's a bit uppety with other dogs at times so I am working on his recall to get him fully trained before I let him off) each day - I use a very good dog walker for two or three days a week when I'm unable to walk due to work commitments.

His crying is consistent whatever exercise he has pretty much, but if I go out he is absolutely fine (I have a camera set in the lounge and check in on the pair of them when I'm out, and its peaceful).

Its only when I'm in, but behind a closed door that I have the issue. Really hard to know how to manage that!!!

does he have a 'bed' anywhere else in tge house? You could put a crate in your bedroom so he's in the same room, but not in your way, if you see what I mean?

Hi and welcome from me and mine!

Firstly, I wouldn't say that having your dogs share your bed is a mistake at all. Many of us have our dogs in bed with us, it's a common thing with staffie owners!

I would suggest you try the training method outlined here:

https://staffy-bull-terrier.niceboard.com/t66717-separation-anxiety

It's a proven method that works with general SA, so should also work with this specific case. While I wouldn't go for a crate, you might want to see if a fairly high stair gate would help, so that Ciel is able to see you still (although that might lead to an audience when one is not necessarily wanted!). I personally would go straight for training, though, as it's the long term solution.

Hi Liz,
thanks for this - I do a very similar process around my departure from the house, but this is the thing. I have a motorised camera with audio and mic and when I go out, if I check in during the time I am away, he and his brother are quiet as mice, no whimpering, calm, settled and sedate.

The issue is only when I am inside my four walls, and move from a room to another and close the door. I have a music studio in my basement and it has a glass door on it, if I have musicians round to work in there, Ciel goes spare if he's not allowed in. Yowling, crying, barking and then soiling in very prominent places. His toilet training when I'm out of the house is almost perfect - I barely have any issues at all.

So - go out completely - no mess, no anxiety.
close a door between me and him in the house, and all hell lets loose.


Have I got to step him up using your process for every room in the house I want to be able to go into on my own? Because that's two bathrooms, a bedroom, the aforementioned music studio, and my office. Which is a lot!!!!

I wouldn't worry about each room, it's more the separation from you wherever you are. It's less the fact of being left alone than you're so near and yet so far. So I'd build up in the same way, you stepping out of a room and coming back, closing the door and opening, regardless of the room. Maybe start with one room first so the habit is easier to form but then hopefully he sould be able to generalise quite quickly.

How did you get on with this training?

Our almost 3 year old has developed a fear of sleeping on his own bed all of a sudden even though we are right near behind a closed door.

He goes around trying to open all the doors to get in other rooms, and if he gets in one decides to sleep in there instead.

For some reason he just doesn’t want to sleep on his own bed at night, but happily sleeps on it during the day when we are out.

So we are going to try this method tonight to see if it starts to help him.

Luckily he doesn’t poo, just shakes and whimpers, paces around. It’s heartbreaking to see when you just want to give him a hug and say everything is ok!!

Think you need to build a new door into your room :p

Not really. Im sorry you are having these issues, i hope you find a solution, that the new relationship also find acceptable.