Hi - are we right for a Staffy?

First topic message reminder :

Hi all

My husband and I are looking to home a rescue dog. Until very recently a staffy is not a dog I would consider. I had the ignorant perception that they were unpredictable, unfriendly and could be nasty. Please don't shoot me down for this - I know now that I was ignorant

A few weeks ago when we took our cat to the vets I met my first staffy. She was such a friendly, lovely natured dog and tried to lick me to death! Having spent days browsing the rescues I am very sad to see so many staffys no one seems to want. Its heartbreaking. We have now opened our minds to the possibility of a staffy.

We lost our 17 year old cat last week and now have no other animals. We dont have any children. I dont work due to having fibromyalgia. There will be times when, for a few days I wont be able to walk a dog for too long. But my husband will be able to so the dog would get walks every day. We have a 75ft garden, fully enclosed by 6 ft fencing. We are looking for a dog who is friendly, loyal, who likes a lot of fuss, who will keep me company during the day and who will sit on the sofa with us in the evenings. Would a staffy be ok with us do you think?

Please be honest - I wont be offended as I would rather know and do my homework before getting a dog.

Thank you!

Yes! What a lovely story and great pic of you both. Sometimes you just 'know' when something is meant to be. 

Bella is beautiful, hope it goes well for the second visit.

Great photo, you both look very happy

I can't stop reading this thread, I do think it was fate you met that staffy at the vet & you defiantly joined the right forum.

Seeing Bella again at 11:30 am tomorrow I bought her some Dentastix (spelling?!) today but its just dawned on me that she might not be allowed one. I'm sure someone at the rescue can make good use of them but I do hope she can have one She has been on my mind all the time since we met her and I am so looking forward to tomorrow

Aww, that's so sweet! Hopefully she's ok for dentastix. Even if she isn't, I bet she'll be happy to see you again for cuddles.

I'm sure she'll love a dentastix. Have a lovely morning!

Enjoy your time with beautiful Bella

Oh guys - please help I have just had a call from a very close friend of ours. Well, Julie is a friend, as in she is not blood related, but she is like a second mum to me. She has told me that she hasn't been well (she hasn't told us until now as she didn't want to worry us) and that she is being investigated for womb cancer. She has had a biopsy under general anaesthetic and is awaiting the results I know how worried she must be to have told us. I would go to the ends of the earth for her and now I don't know what to do. Bella has significant separation anxiety at the moment, something I am very happy to work on with her but if the worst happens and I need to be with Julie at hospital appointments etc in the near future then what? My head is a complete mess this morning it really is

Until I knew my puppy was fine with being left, my sister or good friend stayed at mine with them. Is that a possibility. Hopefully the worst won't happen

Hi Laura

I don't have any blood family left and the only family of Garys who is near cannot be relied on. My nearest friend is a carer for her elderly mum and Julie is my next nearest friend about 30 miles away

When does she get the results? I would say don't worry too much until she had the results. She could well be clear and then there will be no issue. 

Really hope it all works out for you x

As I always used to tell clients, don't panic over something you don't know will happen but plan in case it does. In fact don't panic even if you know it will happen, because there is (nearly) always something you can do. As Laura says, if the worst comes to the worst there may be someone could sit with Bella, if necessary you could find a dog walker on an ad hoc basis.

However, you may also find that Bella settles quickly, especially as you have an action plan with Patricia's book to help her. In any case I would say to start on that very gradually as soon as she's home.

For every problem there is a solution. Some solutions are less obvious and easy than others but there is one.

I really feel you joining this forum that has Liz was meant to be. Bella & you just looked right. Once she has settled & you get to meet dog walkers I'm sure there will be someone to help. Staffies bond to humans very quickly I find. You can practice leaving Bella for very short times, going in other rooms etc & building on that. I'm sure hospital visits, if that happens, can be worked around. 2 years ago I was admitted to hospital & terrified for Saxon & my son's. My 17 year old sister rose to the occasion & kept everyone happy. I care for my Mum but luckily have 2 friends & my sister who I trust with my dogs

Thank you all

Sorry to have gone a bit quiet. Its been one of those weeks. Garys work has messed him around again and we can only both go over and see Bella tomorrow now. I had already had to change it to Sunday because of Garys work I called Danaher but they had closed. I have left a message and an email. We will go tomorrow but accept that we may not be able to see Bella as I think that weekends are by appointment only Garys work drives me mad with all the chopping and changing!

I have her dentastix and one of my jumpers (another of Liz's excellent ideas!).

Awh no! Hopefully it'll be ok. Some workplaces are awful for messing people around with holiday. I once lied and said I was going to be in France because I was so worried they'd call me in/cancel it.

Fingers crossed they'll be able to slip you in as you've had your first meeting which is the one that takes the staff's time.

I had an email back from Danaher - we are booked in for 11:00am. Very very happy to see Bella again as I have thought about her non stop

Great news Claire

I'm excited for you

That's fantastic news, ready your feet to be sat upon by Bella.
All being well does Bella come home with you after the second visit, or do you need the home check?

There has to be a home check, the only exceptions are people already known so those who have adopted from us before, staff, etc. It's one more safety net we can give our animals. So there will be a delay, hopefully not too long.

Oakmoss wrote:Thank you all

Sorry to have gone a bit quiet. Its been one of those weeks. Garys work has messed him around again and we can only both go over and see Bella tomorrow now. I had already had to change it to Sunday because of Garys work I called Danaher but they had closed. I have left a message and an email. We will go tomorrow but accept that we may not be able to see Bella as I think that weekends are by appointment only Garys work drives me mad with all the chopping and changing!

I have her dentastix and one of my jumpers (another of Liz's excellent ideas!).

. I used a blanket and old towels . Whimzees are excellent dental chews you can read about them here https://www.whimzees.com/ .

Hi all

We went to see Bella as planned and took her for a walk. All was well until we passed a large dog coming the other way. We had two dogs behind us so were effectively trapped. I tried to distract her but failed. She became extremely aggressive, wanting to get to the other dog and I struggled to hold on to her. She really meant it In the past, Bella has been attacked by a group of dogs. We knew this when we first saw her. I am not blaming Bella - I am not surprised that she does not like other dogs after what she has been through.

Gary and I have talked it though this afternoon and have decided not to bring Bella home. We feel that she needs a more confident and experienced owner than us.

Thank you all for all your help and support which has been very much appreciated and we are just sorry that it didn't work out this time

Oh ... are you sure that this really isn't possible for you ?
I mean I'm sure that you've discussed this thoroughly with your OH but confidence and experience can be acquired.
Everyone needs to start somewhere

Sorry this time you weren't lucky you will know when the time is right . The situation was pretty full on . Perhaps a dog thats calm older or perhaps a puppy from a rescue would be more beneficial . Good luck in your continued search

I'm sorry to hear this. It's better not to progress if you have any doubts

Very sorry to hear it,but don't let it put you off this lovely breed of ours.I am sure you will strike it lucky very soon.Keep searching,and good luck.

Sorry to hear this but you have made a very tough decision. In my opinion it's better to know now before she comes home and gets too attached. I really hope this doesn't put you off rescuing a Staff. They truly are a wonderful breed.

Thank you guys. I feel so bad When she went for the other dog I actually felt wary of her and that's how I know that I am not right for her. Its not Bella's fault at all - its mine

I'm sorry, I feel like I've got you all excited and now it's gone wrong.

My gut reaction is that you've got options and thinking to do.

Firstly Bella. It's good that you've seen her at her worst. Yes, that can be worrying and it may well be something you're not prepared to take on. What I would say is that are there ways of working with it while you train, but I would completely accept that that's not for everyone. I love training tricky dogs but it is an undertaking.

The next thing I'd say is something that came up while you were walking Finn, that you were worried he'd be too strong for you. In staffie terms he's not particularly strong, because they are all strong dogs. Unless you have an unusually compliant and chilled dog, they can all take a pull, be it towards a cat, another dog they want to play with, a person they want to say hello to. In terms of adult rescues, Bella's lead walking is brilliant, most of them are more like Finn or stronger.

I wouldn't advise a staffie puppy. Young staffies can be incredibly full on and physically demanding. They are wonderful, if you can cope with a high energy bundle of muscle and fur flying round the living room.

That, to be honest, is the bit that makes me question whether a staffie is in fact the best dog for you, unless you want to take on an oldie who's now in the 'slowed down' years. I can't see any on the Senior Staffie Club site that I'd say suits you well but there are a couple on the Oldies Club site

http://www.oldies.org.uk/

So the other thing to look at is a different breed, maybe something smaller and less strong. If you did want a puppy, we have some at Danaher but they're still very young. We have no idea who the dad is but mum's Totoro, bottom right on the website.

The other type of dog you might want to consider is a greyhound/lurcher. They're often very soppy but great on the lead. Their downside is the hunting instinct but kept on the lead they're fine.

I'm not at home this week but am more than happy to chat when I'm back. Danaher has my contact details and I can give the receptionists permission to give them to you.

Liz, you have absolutely nothing to apologise for.

It's been 20 years since I walked a dog so it took me a while to get used to Finn and yes, he did feel 'strong' to me but I feel that is just me having to get used to a dog again. I've been a cat person for nearly 20 years

Bella yesterday was a completely different story. She is indeed very good on a lead - until she see's another dog and has to pass it. She really really wanted to get to that other dog - she was literally desperate, snarling etc. Yesterday was a good day health wise for me - had it been a bad day and I had been in pain I may have let her go as her reaction was so sudden and pronounced. I would never forgive myself if she hurt another dog or was hurt herself.

I don't believe that Bella will ever be ok to be off the lead and I am not convinced that she will ever truly cope with passing other dogs. This may be my naivety but that's how I feel. There are lots of dog walkers in our area and I just can't see how I could cope with Bella when she is like this. Again, I'm not blaming Bella - she has been through so much that I am not surprised she is the way she is.

Our other consideration is the injury to her leg. She is still limited exercise wise. This is not a problem for us but what we had to consider is that when we got her insured, we would not be covered for an existing injury. If it gets worse we just want afford a huge vets bill and again, would end up letting her down.

It's been a very hard decision but we need to do whats right for Bella and for ourselves. Yesterday has really knocked my confidence to be honest

It does sound like the strength of a young/middle years staffy might be too much for you. It's stopped registering to me how strong Gizmo is, but whenever my parents hold him they struggle a bit if he sees a squirrel.
I really feel for you, I tried to rescue 2 old staffies and was turned down as our situation wasn't quite suitable and it's so sad.

I don't know how feasable this might be - but would it be possible for you to walk a few different breeds at a rescue to try and see what suits? It would also build up your confidence inn dog handling.

I'm so sorry that you had a bad experience with Bella Claire but you are spot on with your gut feelings and have nothing to be sad about. Very often people take on a dog and then realise it isn't the right fit so I can only applaud your approach to taking on a rescue.

You really do need to feel comfortable from the get go otherwise you can lose all confidence and that's not fair on you or the dog. You m sure Bella can complete her rehabilitation, just not with you, so don't feel too sad for her I'm sure she will find that furever home.

I would also add that not all Staffies are full on and if you still want one it may just take a little more time to find the right one. If you feel they aren't the best fit for you I would also understand. Good luck in your continued search for your furbuddy

Thank you all. I really appreciate having this forum to come to and talk about all this

I have been thrown a real curve ball. My husbands work colleague has a staffy and has had one all his life. A friend of his bought a staffy puppy a few weeks ago. He has three small children who are apparently making the puppy's life a misery. They live in a flat and are struggling to manage the puppy and so they have decided to part with her. She is 13 weeks old and apparently very small.

It has always been our intention to rescue a dog but I am only human and feel very torn about this. They have asked me if I want to go and see her and I don't know what to do.

My gut feeling? I'd say no. Staffie puppies can be hard work. They are very energetic and can be destructive if they don't get enough exercise. They don't understand 'I'm not feeling great today'. Without the pains I'd say go for it but my personal feeling is still that you would be better off with an older dog. I'm sure the pup will find a great home, puppies do. I'm equally sure that you will find an older staffie that would otherwise be longer in rescue to give you the quieter company and love that you need.

Thank you Liz Having had puppies when I was living with mum and dad, I don't underestimate how hard work they can be It was me who took care of the animals so I wasn't a child who just got to do the fun bits. If I was doing this on my own I would not even be considering it but I have my husband who is fully prepared to do what I can't exercise wise on the bad days I have. That's how we work together and always have done After something Laura said I really thought about my support network. I have stayed in touch with the lady who runs the local ferret rescue where we got our two from. She also has dogs and has said she will happily help out if needed as she works part time. She lives in the next road to us - a few minutes walk away.

It's very hard to know what to do. I have been speaking with our vet nurse and she has advised caution regarding an older dog based on the cost to insure and bearing in mind that any existing issues wouldn't be covered by insurance. I hate having to think about these things but thats life unfortunately

I think at this rate we will be dogless

I believe that there's something to suit everyone out there.

My personal views and situation - alot of people told me to go to the SPA to resue a dog. However my personal beliefs are that whilst it is a great gesture to be able to rehome an (often) adult dog, I was not comfortable about having to deal with past experiences.
That's why I plunged in the deep end and have acquired a ("blank sheet") puppy.

In your position, I would at least go to see the puppy because if you don't, you'll probably always think about it.
It may turn out that there is absolutely no bond when you go to see it.
Or maybe there might be a bond but further reflexion will help you make the decision or whether or not to go ahead.

You appear to be someone who is very rational about things, is there any harm is enquiring first ?

Hi Nifty

I really admire you for your honesty about rescuing a dog After our experience with Bella my husband and I have had similar thoughts. I feel bad about that as I so want to do the right thing but I have to acknowledge that I need to do the right thing for Gary and me as well as the dog.

I have to really try to be rational about it all as I feel very down and lonely at home but am trying not to let my need for a dog overcome being sensible! Luckily I have my husband to keep me (relatively!) grounded

You are putting a lot of thought into getting a dog which is great. Too many people get a dog on a whim

Thank you Laura. I am so sick and tired of seeing things where people are complaining that their 9 week old puppy is "still" going to the toilet in the house or nipping etc. So many people seem to want and expect an instantly perfect dog and they don't want to put in the patience and work needed. People should be aware of whats involved, their limitations etc BEFORE getting the puppy/dog. It's the poor dogs that suffer and it makes me very very angry.

Of course, I'd forgotten you're previous experience with pups. Staffie pups can be full on but if you're up for that and are prepared to spend time training, which I know you are, then maybe don't rule it out.

Oldies - the name can be misleading. The Oldies Club dogs start at 7.

Another option to lob at you... fostering?

Fostering would be very rewarding & usually people adopt one of their fosters. I think if your prepared to spend a lot of time with a puppy & distract them with plenty chewy toys there is no harm visiting this puppy. Training strengthens the bond between owner & dog, it's great when you see your hard work pay off

My husband is not open to fostering unfortunately

I have decided to go and see the puppy and go from there

Such a shame for the pup if kids are bothering her. I'm lucky as my children don't even hurt insects. I've always brought them up to love & respect animals. I'm a very liberal parent but no way would my boys be allowed to bother a dog. They know u call a dog over & let them come to you, our dogs are family members with rights to their own space. Saying that though Rebel is all over the kids usually lol

That's how kids should be with animals in my humble opinion Laura

I went over to see the puppy a few hours ago. She is lovely - very friendly and playful She seemed big for 13 weeks old but then I haven't met any other staff puppies to compare her to. They said she has been vaccinated but weren't able to provide a vets record card.

I'm sad to say that I got the distinct impression that she has been shouted at as at one point she really flinched when told off They are clearly desperate to part with her as they wanted me to take her today and I refused. They said they have someone else interested who could take her today and I told them that so be it as the most important thing is that she finds the right home.

Good on you for not being pushed into it. What's your plan, mull it over a bit?

Staffies don't do telling off, by the way, they are very sensitive little flowers. The flinching isn't totally uncommon even in dogs who haven't been told off or hit ever. However, from what you've said of her story she's probably not unused to being told off. Poor little scrap.

They sound like people who really, really shouldn't have got a dog, let alone a puppy.
I got Gizmo when he was about 11/12 weeks and he was still peeing everywhere and needing to be let out all through the night and crying if he didn't get constant cuddles. He shredded wires we didn't even know we had, ate things we didn't know were edible, chewed through clothes, shoes, hangers, toilet rolls, toilet brush (which also got drug through the house), worked out how to get onto the table using chairs, learned how to open doors, got his head stuck in the catflap and once fell in the pond.

Lol, Gizmo was a typical puppy then. Rebel ripped up a floor of lino today & tore it up. Poor guy must of been bored, what a mess he made. I'm so glad I'm not house-proud

He was my first ever puppy, so it was quite a shock.

I remember the first puppy we had when I was a child. I was surprised how sore the puppy bites were