if you was farmer

what live stock would you have?

I would raise fatstock cattle. Because a) cattle are generally easy-to-get-along-with creatures when they are young, b)all they need is to be kept in a semi-covered deep-litter yard over winter c) when spring comes they get chucked out into a river meadow d) fat cattle to market and start over with a new lot.

No need for all that milking!

Yes, I'd be a lazy farmer

Chickens for eggs or cows for milk, I couldn't have anything that I had to kill!!

I don't think I could keep animals I wouldn't be able to send them to slaughter, I would end up having thousands of them

Cows. And sheep. And goats. And pigs. Not for food, just because I like them I'd be a crap farmer.

Sheep, goats, chickens, ducks, quail, cows, pig etc all free range, grass fed and finished where it applies, slaughtered and butchered by me. They would feed us and the dogs and surplus would then be sold on

Can you be a farmer that doesn't send things to slaughter, because all us girls want to be one

Darcy-may wrote:Can you be a farmer that doesn't send things to slaughter, because all us girls want to be one

except me

Darcy-may wrote:Can you be a farmer that doesn't send things to slaughter, because all us girls want to be one

No. sorry. unless you are an arable farmer.

Lynda wrote:

Darcy-may wrote:Can you be a farmer that doesn't send things to slaughter, because all us girls want to be one

No. sorry. unless you are an arable farmer.

Oh no don't fancy that, I'll just be a farmyard animal keeper

ella wrote:Sheep, goats, chickens, ducks, quail, cows, pig etc all free range, grass fed and finished where it applies, slaughtered and butchered by me. They would feed us and the dogs and surplus would then be sold on

Same, but I certainly wouldn't slaughter them!

They would live a life of Harmony and I would be a Walt Disney character that played among them

janey wrote:
They would live a life of Harmony and I would be a Walt Disney character that played among them

Now that sounds perfect

I watch these cookery shows and they always show the chefs visiting farmers and they're all interacting with the animals and talking about how important it is to keep them happy, and I'm like "You backstabber " even though I'm a hypocrite because I eat meat . I completely understand it and am fine with it, but it's not something I'd have in me to be able to do.

I'd buy a large amount of land and keep them as pets and create a petting zoo and drive around the country with them or something there, that's my plan.

i think i would have a few pigs

janey wrote:

ella wrote:Sheep, goats, chickens, ducks, quail, cows, pig etc all free range, grass fed and finished where it applies, slaughtered and butchered by me. They would feed us and the dogs and surplus would then be sold on

Same, but I certainly wouldn't slaughter them!

They would live a life of Harmony and I would be a Walt Disney character that played among them

Oh i can i've done it before, it's relatively easy

Would love to live eating all home grown sustainable foods

ella wrote:

janey wrote:

ella wrote:Sheep, goats, chickens, ducks, quail, cows, pig etc all free range, grass fed and finished where it applies, slaughtered and butchered by me. They would feed us and the dogs and surplus would then be sold on

Same, but I certainly wouldn't slaughter them!

They would live a life of Harmony and I would be a Walt Disney character that played among them

Oh i can i've done it before, it's relatively easy

Would love to live eating all home grown sustainable foods

I thought they use a machine kind of thing to kill them?

I know that farmers routinely slaughtered their stock in days of yore; my own great-grandfather was a farmer and when the farming industry collapsed he became a butcher - a relatively easy step, although town life didn't suit him and he returned to farming.

Reason I mention this is because Ella says she would slaughter her animals herself if she was a farmer - this would certainly save the animals stress in being sent to market and then to an abattoir - what I don't know is whether this is still "legal" - Ella will know!

C'mon Steve, you started this thread - what would you farm? Update - seen your reply - pigs. Not my animal of choice - easy not to get sentimental over though!

Tara wrote:

ella wrote:

janey wrote:

ella wrote:Sheep, goats, chickens, ducks, quail, cows, pig etc all free range, grass fed and finished where it applies, slaughtered and butchered by me. They would feed us and the dogs and surplus would then be sold on

Same, but I certainly wouldn't slaughter them!

They would live a life of Harmony and I would be a Walt Disney character that played among them

Oh i can i've done it before, it's relatively easy

Would love to live eating all home grown sustainable foods

I thought they use a machine kind of thing to kill them?

if you send them away then yes, i would do it myself was my point

Id be an arable farmer, i could not send animals away to slaughter lol

I would probably have a few rare breeds and sell them to other breeders but never to the meat man.

cows and chickens because i like to eat them both, as such i would make sure they had best life possible. as a side note where i come from is nearly all arable becuase its reclaimed land and very good for veg etc but the farmers make a sideline with wild game and shoots on the land so that could be a good earner.
one of the funniest and best examples of townies and country folk was when my mate adam had a friend to stay over from uni, and he was perplexed at poly covering the fields whereby adam said the farmer was growing prepacked cabbage and he believed him...

Lynda wrote:I know that farmers routinely slaughtered their stock in days of yore; my own great-grandfather was a farmer and when the farming industry collapsed he became a butcher - a relatively easy step, although town life didn't suit him and he returned to farming.

Reason I mention this is because Ella says she would slaughter her animals herself if she was a farmer - this would certainly save the animals stress in being sent to market and then to an abattoir - what I don't know is whether this is still "legal" - Ella will know!

C'mon Steve, you started this thread - what would you farm? Update - seen your reply - pigs. Not my animal of choice - easy not to get sentimental over though!

As far as i know it's still legal Lynda as i know alot still do it, and probably would regardless of the law anyway!

But yes i would certainly want to slaughter and butcher them myself much much less stress for them!

Ok, thanks for the information Ella.

Well, in our hypothetical world as farmers, I would fall between the Disney-world scenario (although I would give my animals the best natural and non-factory life I could, but NOT give them names or make pets of them) and the world where I would slaughter them myself - a step too far for me I'm afraid. But, maybe if I could find someone who could slaughter them humanely on site and out of sight and sound of the other animals, and could then sell the carcasses legally and profitably, then on my hypothetical farm that would be preferable to sending my fatstock to market.

Stick to Disney Land princess Lynda, such a pretty dreamy, happy Land


And all meat comes pre packed in plastic

Ah yes Janey - wouldn't Disney-land be great (apart from Mickey and his friends )

If only life was like that!

It is.....................



And now I wake up

Bless you Janey for your optimism !

Rather be optimistic than pessimistic


Spell check is a wonder but its true

As the law stands nowadays, you can slaughter your own animals for your own consumption (as long as the animals are treated humanely), but if you intend to pass the meat on to anybody else (whether sold or gifted) it must go through an abbatoir for inspection.

janey wrote:They would live a life of Harmony and I would be a Walt Disney character that played among them

What a wonderful thought!

I'd keep cattle, sheep & donkeys (yes, I know they're not livestock, but I like them!), and none of them would grow old so they wouldn't have to go to market!

Lynda wrote:Ah yes Janey - wouldn't Disney-land be great (apart from Mickey and his friends )

If only life was like that!

I don't know, Disney is pretty dark. Bambi, Lion King, etc. Disney teaches kids that life can be cruel

Really caryll? I thought that a vet or licensed killer had to be there? I really hope thats not the case cause the normal joe won't know how to kill an animal whether they intend to eat it or not!

Hayley wrote:Really caryll? I thought that a vet or licensed killer had to be there? I really hope thats not the case cause the normal joe won't know how to kill an animal whether they intend to eat it or not!

it's very easy to properly slaughter an animal for meat or otherwise. I'm glad it is as i remembered and still legal to slaughter your own stock

Oh yes Janey, I try very hard to be optimistic (not got spellcheck on - ) I just hope I didn't come across as pessimistic, but just a realist.

Tara, got to confess that I haven't seen a lot of Disney films! Bambi yes - a hundred years ago - his mum died as I remember so yes, not all sunshine and roses. But generally Disney-land is taken to be a happy place where all animals live happily ever after; at least that is how I think Janey meant it to be, and I followed suit!

Thank you Caryll for your information about slaughtering one's own animals. I'll bear it in mind if I ever come to own a farm where I raise fatstock (in my dreams ) Just interested in your own pipedream of a farm - how would you prevent the animals from growing old so they wouldn't have to go to market? My animals (in my fantasy farm) wouldn't grow old either - they'd have gone to market at 2 years old (if I had sheep, which I wouldn't - 1 year old). Is that what you mean?

Hayley wrote:Really caryll? I thought that a vet or licensed killer had to be there? I really hope thats not the case cause the normal joe won't know how to kill an animal whether they intend to eat it or not!

No. The law states that the animal must be treated & killed 'humanely', so the method of slaughter would, I presume, have to be an approved method.

Lynda wrote: Just interested in your own pipedream of a farm - how would you prevent the animals from growing old so they wouldn't have to go to market?

Ah, there we're back to disney/Dreamworld! They'd just never get old enough to go to slaughter!

Caryll wrote:
Ah, there we're back to disney/Dreamworld! They'd just never get old enough to go to slaughter!

Exactly

wow what a dark topic , have you lot been taking unhappy drugs or something ,

I would buy a load of animals all nice ones , get them papers as illegal immigrants and claim political asylum for them all, the cash raised would keep them all alive to a ripe old age where they all die peacefully so I could keep the cycle going . With the aditional money raised , as we all know the average illegal immigrant lives a life of luxury in comparison to joe bloggs taxpayer I would allocate a huge portion of land to a countryside retirement home for golden oldie staffs, once they got to 8 years old in a shelter they by default automatically gained a place in "Stafford Springs"

The perfect "farm"

Dave wrote:wow what a dark topic , have you lot been taking unhappy drugs or something ,

I would buy a load of animals all nice ones , get them papers as illegal immigrants and claim political asylum for them all, the cash raised would keep them all alive to a ripe old age where they all die peacefully so I could keep the cycle going . With the aditional money raised , as we all know the average illegal immigrant lives a life of luxury in comparison to joe bloggs taxpayer I would allocate a huge portion of land to a countryside retirement home for golden oldie staffs, once they got to 8 years old in a shelter they by default automatically gained a place in "Stafford Springs"

The perfect "farm"

That's such a detailed, well thought-out plan that I'm sure you've actually been doing this

I've had chickens in my backyard before, always good for having fresh eggs. so I suppose I'd have some chickens.

Can I have a Giraffe?

you could train a giraffe to pluck the apples in the orchard Dan , sure this would be much better on health and safety grounds

Tara wrote:

Dave wrote:wow what a dark topic , have you lot been taking unhappy drugs or something ,

I would buy a load of animals all nice ones , get them papers as illegal immigrants and claim political asylum for them all, the cash raised would keep them all alive to a ripe old age where they all die peacefully so I could keep the cycle going . With the aditional money raised , as we all know the average illegal immigrant lives a life of luxury in comparison to joe bloggs taxpayer I would allocate a huge portion of land to a countryside retirement home for golden oldie staffs, once they got to 8 years old in a shelter they by default automatically gained a place in "Stafford Springs"

The perfect "farm"

That's such a detailed, well thought-out plan that I'm sure you've actually been doing this

I wish Tara , also forgot about my rocket powered Quad bike with a little cage on the front to put Tilly and Tommy in whilst I'm out herding the sheep (apparently they don't have a natural herding instinct , \i asked on here before does anyone remember )

Dave wrote:you could train a giraffe to pluck the apples in the orchard Dan , sure this would be much better on health and safety grounds

I like your thinking

Dan wrote:

Dave wrote:you could train a giraffe to pluck the apples in the orchard Dan , sure this would be much better on health and safety grounds

I like your thinking

Maybe the giraffe could also be lookout for when the police are steaming over the hills to do a raid on the illegal moonshine stills and the erm plants

Dave wrote:

Tara wrote:

Dave wrote:wow what a dark topic , have you lot been taking unhappy drugs or something ,

I would buy a load of animals all nice ones , get them papers as illegal immigrants and claim political asylum for them all, the cash raised would keep them all alive to a ripe old age where they all die peacefully so I could keep the cycle going . With the aditional money raised , as we all know the average illegal immigrant lives a life of luxury in comparison to joe bloggs taxpayer I would allocate a huge portion of land to a countryside retirement home for golden oldie staffs, once they got to 8 years old in a shelter they by default automatically gained a place in "Stafford Springs"

The perfect "farm"

That's such a detailed, well thought-out plan that I'm sure you've actually been doing this

I wish Tara , also forgot about my rocket powered Quad bike with a little cage on the front to put Tilly and Tommy in whilst I'm out herding the sheep (apparently they don't have a natural herding instinct , \i asked on here before does anyone remember )

I reckon Loki would be a good herder. When he was off the lead with his deaf dog friend, he chased him back to us

But yeah, goats, I like goats, they're so cool

Dave wrote:

Dan wrote:

Dave wrote:you could train a giraffe to pluck the apples in the orchard Dan , sure this would be much better on health and safety grounds

I like your thinking

Maybe the giraffe could also be lookout for when the police are steaming over the hills to do a raid on the illegal moonshine stills and the erm plants

Put a surveillance camera on it's head!

I think I'm gonna need more than one Giraffe

Straight up beef. No question there.