Favorite Dog Jokes of all TIME!

Hey all,

I just stumbled across a few great jokes and wanted to see if anyone else had any to share, feel free! We all need a good laugh sometimes!

TALKING DOG FOR SALE -

A guy walks past a pet store. There is a sign in the window that says TALKING DOG FOR SALE.

The guy doesn't believe it, but is curious, so he goes into the store and walks up the the talking dog and says "Hello". The dog says "Hey. How you doin'?"

The guy says "Wow! You can really talk!" The dog says "Yep. That's right" The guy says "What is it like being a talking dog?"

The dog says "Well, I've lived a very full life. I rescued Avalanche victims in The Alps. I worked as a drug sniffing dog for the FBI, and now I read to people in an old folks home five days a week."

The guy is just blown away. He turns to the owner of the pet shop and says "Why in the world would you sell a dog like this???"

The pet show owner says "Because he's a damn liar! He never did ANY of those things."

Did I tell you about the dog I got from the local Blacksmiths?

Soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.









I dunno if this joke works outside of Scotland but I think it's absolutely brilliant.

Some good ones there, have moved to the joke corner

haha thats brill that

My dogs got no legs , I call him Woodbine

Why ??


Because I like to take him out for a drag !! Boom Boom

Man walks into a shop with a staffy

Shopkeeper-Sorry, only guide dogs can come in
Man-It is a guide dog
Shopkeeper-Aren't guide dogs usually labradors?
Man-What have I got then?

Blind man goes into a shop with his guide dog and starts swinging it around by the tail, shopkeeper says "can I help you sir", blind man replies "No thanks, just looking around".

Ushanka wrote:Did I tell you about the dog I got from the local Blacksmiths?

Soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.









I dunno if this joke works outside of Scotland but I think it's absolutely brilliant.

It works :-) :-) :-)

Oh dear...

Went to the zoo today and there was only one animal, It was a shitzu.

What do you get if you cross a gun dog with a telephone-a golden reciever

What do you get if you cross a dog with a rose-a collieflower

What do you get if you cross a cockerspaniel, a poodle and a rooster-cockerpoodledoo

Little boy catches his parents having sex and asks his dad what they were up to, dad replies "making you a little sister", little boy says , "do her doggy style, I want a puppy instead"

Eww, that last one was awful!

Last one was top