Respect and Broken hearts.

Just need to rant a little. I have a 17 year old little brother, I was 12 when he was born. Everyday my older brother and I took care of him (not helped... did) And over the years I've failed him at almost every turn to protect him from heartbreak and bitterness. How do you protect someone from their own Mom? He's so broken and numb right now that when I messaged him to find out where he's been staying at and to see if he's alright and to go catch a movie. He told me to cut him out of my life. To just forget he exists that he cares about no-one. And I told him that I can't do that. He said "Well that sucks, because I don't give a dang about how anyone else feels, why do you think I don't talk to anyone? because I don't even care about me much less care about anyone else."

He thinks he's being tough and that he means what he says, but I've walked ten miles in his shoes at his age plus another ten for luck. I remember vividly the numbness and blackness you can get in your heart at that age and you keep saying those things out loud, telling your self it's not worth it and that it's cut and dry. But inside you're dying and breaking and torn and shattered and silently screaming out for someone to care but yet, you just push them away when they do. I don't think he realizes how much more he said to me in those words than he ever meant to. My heart breaks for him.

It just shatters me to my core. I feel like I didn't protect him enough, care enough when it mattered most. *sigh* Sorry to put this here. but it's situations like this that make me remember why I have a total lack of respect for the person whom gave birth to us.

and on a somewhat... sarcastic note, I have to tell my self "You can't save em all Hasslehoff"

surely though, a sister should be able to have saved her brother from all of that right? ..yeah I know .. I'll just keep dreaming. Then, I know how I turned out. So There's hope in that. He'll come around and hopefully he knows in his heart that I mean I care when I say I care.

all you can do is be there and support him, sounds to me like forcing you away is his way of seeing if you will stick around (i did the same a few years back) luckily my brother said to me "we are family, and blood is thicker than water, so like it or lump it you are stuck with me!" that made me realise that i did have people around for me, and to make the most of what i do have. as he gets a bit older he will realise who is looking out for him and who isnt, and im sure he will come round, sounds like a phase to me!

You can only do what you can do ><

There's only so much you can do, and it sounds like you did more than that!

As already said, all you can do is be there for him, let him know that you're there, and don't take no for an answer! One day he'll see things the way they really are - that not everybody is going to let him down - and he'll know what you did for him. ><

tara, i had a simular experiance and i have protected my little sister since we were 13 and 10. We were lucky to be close in age and to this day 10 plus years we are still close and i am mega proud of what she has done with her life. I have not seen my mum for 8 years and not had contact for 6 years it was very hard to do but i had a son to think of and i did not need somne one like her in my life.

He is 17, he at a cross roads in his life, not a child any more and not a adult. can you not have him stay with you? just take the reins and say yes you are doing this? He may just need that little wall broke down and lots of TLC. Some people need to be shown they are worth someting and you may have to do some thing big or even small and this will get through to them

do not blame your self, something once really bad happened to my sister and i blamed my self as i thought why wasnt i there to protect her but sometimes we just canb not be every were and do everyting

rebeccaleanne wrote:
He is 17, he at a cross roads in his life, not a child any more and not a adult. can you not have him stay with you? just take the reins and say yes you are doing this? He may just need that little wall broke down and lots of TLC. Some people need to be shown they are worth someting and you may have to do some thing big or even small and this will get through to them

So sad to be reading this Tara, I think what Rebecca has suggested above may be a very good idea. Could you get him involved with your work in any way as this may keep his mind occupied and give him something positive to concentrate on. Over here we used do a "Take your Child To Work with You Day". This may be of benefit to him.

Thanks everyone for all the comments. I didn't take No for an answer and went to see him yesterday evening. Once I got him in the car, I locked him in and hit the interstate lol. I knew we'd be driving too fast for him to get out, so he had to listen to me. I told him that I grew up with that woman too, just like he has to. I told him that I really feel horrible that My older brother and I grew up and moved out and on with our lives and left him to grow up with the ...excuse of a mother we all had. But That I was powerless then. Now that he's a teenager and I own my own house and things are different I'm not powerless anymore and he can try to push me away all he wants but the harder he pushes me away the harder I'm going to close in. I had him in tears before I was done, so I think I got through to him. I told him that the way he was acting/talking had me scared to death that I was going to lose one of the most important people in my life to some stupidity. And before all was said and done he did tell me he loved me and that he remembered who had taken care of him and that he was angry that we grew up and moved out. That's OK. It's okay for him to be Angry with me, but I just bought a set of Bunk Bed's for my son's bedroom. We only have a 2 bedroom house. I can't move him in until School is out because my Aunt has Custody of him and he's enrolled in a school 45 minutes away from me. But for now he's staying with our older brother and away from Mom. We all 3 have made a pact to not speak to her or see her anymore, I think her destroying Skylar was the final straw for us all. And he agreed to move in with me The second school is out.

We approved it with our friends and everything, and have decided he's also coming on vacation with us this summer. We're going to Virginia Beach where our friends live. He's never been to the Ocean either so looks like My OH and I are going to get to see all our "babies" see the ocean for the first time I can't wait. I sure hope that the week at the beach will help ease his troubled soul and see there's nothing in the universe I wont give for him. I've told him all his life he was more mine than anyone's because Bubby and I raised him when Mom was too busy to be bothered with it. so.. It's still a little ... heart breaking but I did get through to him. We're going to a Movie tonight. Cause I told him he wasn't getting rid of me neither

jayfrater wrote: luckily my brother said to me "we are family, and blood is thicker than water, so like it or lump it you are stuck with me!"!

Yup, our family has always said this to each other too. Blood's thicker than water, so too bad so sad you're stuck with me. I have a fantastic family save for our wretched mother. All the rest of them are pretty awesome though. I think maybe my mom was adopted or something

Tara, you are a diamond ><

You are doing your very best to help your younger brother along the road of life- Bless you