do you think this is bad?

First topic message reminder :

couples sharing facebook account because they both scared one or the other will be talking to someone else where the bloody trust? if you cant trust each other why be together for god sake!!

it like when you go out you get a some couple wont let their oh dance with other people if you dont trust dont be together it really the simple what is wrong with people today!!!

That's awful mat

Jeez no good Janey. It teaches ya a very valueable lesson though. People will say it's cynicism/paranoia but it isn't. Unless you are totally sure on something it's probably not worth wasting your time.

MatLogan wrote:I'm feeling old these days tbh Inez.

I used to live with a girl. I'd been going out with her for a few years and she said about getting a house. So after a bit of looking around I bought a house for us both. I told her I was away to sign for the house and she threw her toys out the pram because she wanted her name on the mortgage. But I was hardly gonna buy a house and put it in someones name, so I said because I'm paying for everything I'm signing alone.

She changed that day, and one day I came home and she'd gutted the whole house and had stolen everything. Only wanted her name on the mortgage so she could break up and take the money.

One of the many reasons why I feel old haha.

Yes there are many very money orientated women out there my OH ex being one. Me I dont give a stuff about that sort of thing I would live in a cardboard box as long as I was with my husband! Unfortunately I wasnt only cheated on but also endured physical and mental abuse so to find such a kind man after that was heaven sent.

That's awful Inez. I'm glad you're with a good lad now though. A lot of people are absolutely horrible. It only takes a few minutes to tell them apart too.

Glad things are good for ya now though, and Velvet Vin obviously

Oh Inez there are somw VILE people about! Second Mat, a very happy ending

MatLogan wrote:That's awful Inez. I'm glad you're with a good lad now though. A lot of people are absolutely horrible. It only takes a few minutes to tell them apart too.

Glad things are good for ya now though, and Velvet Vin obviously

Thanks Mat and yes Velvet Vin is also my salvation

That's one thing about Staffords as a breed and a great thing about this forum. I have noticed that a lot of us have been through similar situations and rely heavily on our dogs. Something very special there.

EllieSmith wrote:Oh Inez there are somw VILE people about! Second Mat, a very happy ending

Thanks Ellie he was Vile but to look at him you would think butter wouldnt melt! He put me down so much I began to believe it myself, in hindsight I could see it was him that was insecure and did it to make hiself feel good.

I'm glad everything worked out for you inez x

Sazzle wrote:I'm glad everything worked out for you inez x

MatLogan wrote:That's one thing about Staffords as a breed and a great thing about this forum. I have noticed that a lot of us have been through similar situations and rely heavily on our dogs. Something very special there.

they are little magic healers, I've never been so happy as since I've had daisy

MatLogan wrote:That's one thing about Staffords as a breed and a great thing about this forum. I have noticed that a lot of us have been through similar situations and rely heavily on our dogs. Something very special there.

Here, here! My mum always says its not the ones with 4 legs you shouldnt trust its the ones with 2! and my Dad says the more I learn about people the more I love my dog!

inez maria wrote:

MatLogan wrote:That's one thing about Staffords as a breed and a great thing about this forum. I have noticed that a lot of us have been through similar situations and rely heavily on our dogs. Something very special there.

Here, here! My mum always says its not the ones with 4 legs you shouldnt trust its the ones with 2! and my Dad says the more I learn about people the more I love my dog!

your dads not wrong!!

He took my dog also.................

Jeez Janey.

Ah janey

janey wrote:
He took my dog also.................

Awful, Janey. We had a cat which isn't just as bad as losing a dog IMO.

I've gotten to the stage were I just don't even bother.

Ditto

janey wrote:
He took my dog also.................

Oh Janey awful I would have recreated Mrs Bobbits actions!

I have had trust issues in the past my do not really come from a man but my real parents who have let me down over the years in the worst possible way imaginable so if you can not trust the ones who are suppose to have unconditional love for you how do you trust? My OH has been my rock for the last 6 years we have gone through so much we have broke up through diff issues on both sides and my trust has been horrendous in that time not bnny boiler type but you know what i mean It has only been the last year that i have been able to come over this and trust him that he does actually want me and love me............

I hope to god one day I can trust someone also ....

Ah I hope it's onwards and upwards from here for you x

janey wrote:

I hope to god one day I can trust someone also ....

there will be someone you can one day but i think in away you have to let your self trust a little as much as it hurts

I can't, I moved home with mum (hard) and started again, had to borrow a deposit on my place, after a year when I new I could afford the mortgage alone and a dog I got Moo.

After a year of being happy I lost my job, unfair dissmisal, took them to court and won, that took 2 years and now finally I am settled on my own.

I am now a very selfish, closed person, it is rather sad.......

i just chatted to this with my OH and he said 'right i want you to shut down your FB' i just hit him round the head and he laughed.................

we have spoke long and hard about this, we have seen lots of cheating in our lives (family and friends) and we both have never cheated on any other partners in our past and are of the opinion that if we ever wanted to we would break up as its not worthit to live a lie if your not in love........get out.

rebeccaleanne wrote:

janey wrote:

I hope to god one day I can trust someone also ....

there will be someone you can one day but i think in away you have to let your self trust a little as much as it hurts

Wise words Rebecca, but very difficult to do when you've been damaged in the past, as you will know more than most in your experience with the most fundamental of relationships. Given your own unhappy past it was even more brave of you to give a little a trust to someone and find your Rock. I am SO happy for you, you deserve a happy future if anyone does ><

meh sharing a fb page is distrust in its extream. i lost my wife to a fb nutball so cant be doing with it. yeah there was other issues but it took the pee big time... i spent time in police cells because of some * from salford and it all started with me building her a laptop and her getting additcted to some farmtown crp. and that was after i found out shed been getting personal with a fat bus driver from cornwall....
now days im happy to be single with the dogs, in fact never been happier. would still love a hug from a nice lady but my prob is im too trusting which leaves me open to abuse... maybee one day that lady will appear but until she does feck it im having fun with the dogs.
to me trust is everything, its the be all and end all and ill be there 110% for someone that trusts me

Tara wrote:

Steve wrote:40 years ago it wouldn't this bad, yes you may of got the odd couple nutjob nothing like to day

No way. Ages ago it was 100% normal, even expected, of men to cheat and for women to just put up with it. Women had to cheat in secret though. It's just that now it's more...I don't know, glorified I guess. But it's always been there.

Thats it, they didn't have facebook, text messaging and the modern ways that people tend to start affairs, there were less people around and people probably minded their own business, well maybe not but they didn't sh1t on their friends when they fell out, no technology, no paper trail. When I hear my grandad and nan talking about when they first moved into their house in the 60s one thing that is always brought up is who was "knocking" who off, and how Vera 'cross road or Edna dahn yonder would put a vase in the window when the husband had gone to work, the whole street were at it and I'm pretty sure if I asked Vera 'cross road my nan was probably at it, a lready had Arthur from legion tell me my Grandad was knocking his sister off 'up allotments' on a Friday when my nan was in town shopping.

janey wrote:

I can't, I moved home with mum (hard) and started again, had to borrow a deposit on my place, after a year when I new I could afford the mortgage alone and a dog I got Moo.

After a year of being happy I lost my job, unfair dissmisal, took them to court and won, that took 2 years and now finally I am settled on my own.

I am now a very selfish, closed person, it is rather sad.......

Janey, I know from your previous posts that you have had a difficult life. BUT, you are NOT "a very selfish, closed person" - all your support to me personally and other forum members proves that time and time again. You have survived the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and may bear some scars, but your basic good nature, optimism and caring personality shines through in your messages, you are a Good Person and never forget it.
><

janey wrote:

I can't, I moved home with mum (hard) and started again, had to borrow a deposit on my place, after a year when I new I could afford the mortgage alone and a dog I got Moo.

After a year of being happy I lost my job, unfair dissmisal, took them to court and won, that took 2 years and now finally I am settled on my own.

I am now a very selfish, closed person, it is rather sad.......

I feel a bit the same sometimes but you have moo to love and look after so you can't be that selfish! X

To be honest, I have a weird way of viewing trust and whatever, in that I don't think it's good to stop trusting people for fear of it happening again. I mean, if you want to avoid any hurt, you'll have to completely cut off anyone you have any care for, just in case they hurt you. But if you do that, you'll have a very hollow life. I mean, at my lowest, I've basically lived as a recluse, and no-one's gonna hurt you when you don't have anyone, but it's really just a crap life. So I think it's better to be able to trust someone (or rather, someone who earns your trust), and if it doesn't work out, you just have to learn from it and heal. But that's harder than avoiding the issue. Plus some people are happier single but not cut off from any sense of love and companionship, so it's whatever works. That's just my view on it, personally.

I've had bf that didn't care what I did and it made me mad. I've had one that would get angry and that made me laugh in his face. Can't win with me lol

why would it make you mad?