Our 2 females hate eachother

Hi
I'm just looking for some advice from anyone who can help, 'whits end' spring to mind. I have a 9yr old female staffy who has been spayed and my partner has a 2 year unspayed female and they HATE each other but only when I am around. We first introduced them by lots of walks together which went really well and is still working but bring them into the house and we are constantly breaking up fights. The problem we have is that we can't live together until this is resolved and we are pregnant. I also have a 4 year old little boy and he has a 10 year old son. We have occasions where we stay at each others houses resulting in a lot of room swapping with the dogs. I am aware that the problem is me and my dog. My dog is dog aggressive whereas his is just your typical go lucky dog but when mine attempts to be the ruler, she will not back down and nor will mine. However, should my partner be on his own with the two of them they happily sit together but you can't take your eyes off them or mine will take her opportunity to attack. Let me walk into the room and war breaks out as they both come hurdling for my attention. I can sit with both of them, one to each side of me and stroke the two of them but again if mine has an opportunity, she will attack the other and should this happen with a new baby in my arms, obviously I can only see the worst having to happen which we really do not want. Please help anyone

Many thanks in advance
Emma x

Welcome to the forum!

Having two same gender dogs in one area can be tricky but is very possible.

You have said it is only when you are there. I take it you feel nervous/worried about the dogs fighting? If so this will pass through to the dogs and increase the chance of problems.

I have introduced Logan to a few dogs at home and the best way I've found to do it is start off doing it for a few minutes on lead. Then increase the time each time you do it. Eventually when you feel confident you can let them off lead.

Remove all toys/food from the area as these can increase territorial behaviour.

Take your time with it and it'll be less stressful for you

Also, come and say hello we'd love to know more

https://staffy-bull-terrier.niceboard.com/f7-new-member-introductions

I think they maybe both sense your condition and want to be your second in command, as in a pack the second in command will be looked after cause they usually wet nurse. But this is just a theory.

I think what you need to do is work with the both of them, get your partner to help. If they are in a room and sitting happy with your partner, you walk in and if they start messing about, either you or your partner remove both dogs and put them into separate rooms that you or the family are not in. Give them 5 mins to settle and try again, if they start, remove them again. Do it until you are blue in the face but they will get the idea that being aggressive to each other results in them being alone. When they are acting civil, do not make any contact with them just let them sit in the room with you. Gradually you can work on petting them or saying good girls, but at the start just have them being in the same room as you as the treat. It will need to be consistent, so i would even suggest moving your dog to your partners house if he is happy with that and you can stay there as much as possible.

Thank you, yes you're right I do feel nervous that they will start at every opportunity they get. My partner has had his dog for about a year now and this is how long we have been trying to get them together. My dog (the eldest) has always followed me everywhere she is literally my shadow. After a while of introducing them we took me out of the picture and I went upstairs whilst my partner brought them both into the front room together, they were there for a while both very relaxed and so I came down, didn't look at them so no eye contact and sat on the sofa. Within seconds my dog had got up to come to me and so did his, i continued to ignore them and spoke with my partner but only a minute later mine was attacking his which resulted in a full scale fight and both had cuts and a bloody face. We haven't tried the lead but did start with a musell for each but they still tried to attack eachother and managed it. We will start the lead tactic this evening and see how we go, thank you again :-) x

Don't feel bad for being nervous. I had a problem with Logan that he was reacting badly to dogs when out on walks and it dawned on me that me being nervous was making him worse. I find when I take a deep breath and relax he is much better.

Sometimes a muzzle can make some dogs feel a bit restricted. I'd prefer the lead tactic. It takes longer but should work in the end

It is nerve racking yes, but you will get used to it if you pretend! I use pretending a lot when i'm horse riding cause im really a bag of nerves, but i pretend to be in control and it makes me feel braver haha

Can only agree with Mat and Hayley , you can't force the dogs to get along but if you are chilled then they are chilled too. If I pass a dog with Tommy I get a much worse reaction from him on a short lead than a long lead , so I step away further and let him have the lead

Sounds like your girl is very devoted and protective over you so wants to be there all the time , have you tried your girl getting some time alone with your partrner (without the other dog) to build a bond up there ?? maybe if she cared less about just being with you it would be a start.

I do know how difficult it is as both of my dogs seem to favour me even though I am the one that dissapears for days on end and doesn't wake up to let them out through the night etc (this really wind up my OH btw) now my older girl will sit back and let the younger boy be the dominant one in the house which I believe is quite unusual as like the real world its normally the bitch that comes out on top but you have to let them sort out their own heirarchy and there may be a few tears in the process. When we are out walking its a differnt matter altogether and ususally its my girl that will start a problem with my boy so she is the one that ends up back on lead as the naughty one

Hi Dave

Thanks for the comment and your very right she is protective of me and my little one and she is being the same with me with this pregnancy as my last, constantly wanting to lie on me with her head on my belly which I think is making things a little worse. My dog (Ladie) has quite a good bond with my partner, he often takes her for long walks and they used to go running together before we acquired Saffy but Saffy just isn't a good runner and you usually end up tripping over her whereas Ladie is great and zones out when she runs and you can go for miles. This weekend we are going to attempt a long walk for both dogs and the kids then I'm going to get my partner to take Ladie who is the main course of the problems for a run, try and tire her out a bit more then we are going to try the lead technique. I've also been speaking with dog behaviourists and one lady in my local area is happy to come out and give us some advice and tips at only a small cost so fingers crossed with a little patience and determination we can get this sorted.

Thanks for your advice guys every little has to help :-) x

Hi i really can not advise due to not been in this position before. But the advice given is brill and some may work some may not. I would guess you little one is alittle territorial over you and your nerves may not help.

Please keep us updated on how your progress is going

you should of research before getting 2 female dogssorry we getting thus problem a lot and it driving me up the wall!!

Hi Steve,

If left to me, we would not have two female's, we wouldn't even have two dogs but one is my dog and the other is my partners, if we want to live together which we do then we need to resolve this. They are great for him when they are together they go for walks and are now playing together great when outside and no arguments with him when in the house together. However it is me that's the problem, they both want to be on me and with me at all times when I'm around this causes jealousy with both of them even when i pay neither any attention. This does seem to have got worse since i got pregnant (which wasn't planned either by the way) although we do appear to have had a little breakthrough following the lead technique advised above we have a dog behavourist coming to see us next week, it far less expensive than I thought it would be and as far as I'm concerned, a dog is for life and we will do whatever we need to to sort this out unlike some who just give up and throw thier dogs out on the street. To all of you having problems with your dogs and their aggression, good luck and I will keep you posted on how we go with the dog behavourist :-)

Em