Please help me

First topic message reminder :

I desperately need some help. Alfie has started chewing in the kitchen in the day because we keep him in there. He cant have the run of the house as he is not toilet trained. Yesteday he emptied the bin all over the floor. It has got to the point where my housemate wants to re home him. As some of you know I love this dog to death and I am absolutely heartbroken. Please someone give me some advice - would a kennel outside work or is that too much to put him out there in the day? Please someone help

Nosipho wrote: You will be unhappy and will resent her for it. I think you need to sit her down and tell her you want 4 weeks to sort eveything out, its unfair of her to put her foot down and bundle him out the door without allowing you to try anything else.

This is very true & something that needs to be done calmly, politely & sensibly.

EllieSmith wrote:Thank you all so much for your advice but Ive tried everything I really have

No. You haven't. I know that sounds harsh, but you really haven't - neither you nor Erika have given the lad a chance. You both need to give him more time - he's just been rehomed (gone to live with total strangers - how do you think you'd feel?), and he's had surgery (neutered) - he's feeling anxious and out of sorts.

I've started a thread for Erika - please, will you ask her to look at it?

EllieSmith wrote:We are phoning our vets to advise us on a good local dogs rehoming centre. I dont want to give him away to anyone

And the rescue centres will tell you that they can't take on any more staffords/stafford crosses as they are full with them already.

Whilst I feel for you very deeply, this is also making me angry. Dogs are living, breething, feeling animals, not just a possession to be given away at the first sign of a problem.

Oh Caryll thank you but please delete the thread - we are already arguing over this I dont want to make matters worse, its difficult enough as it is. I am also very angry because I want to and am capable of giving Alfie the training and home he needs, we just arent being given the chance

EllieSmith wrote:Thank you all so much for your advice but Ive tried everything I really have

I also apologise for maybe sounding harsh. But you haven't tried everything, we have said about crating, long leads etc and you have taken the ideas on board but you are yet to try them.

The smell thing can be sorted with daily brushes and a monthly bath.

We all want to see you, your house mate and Alfie happy together. All of which is easily solved. Ask for a few weeks, which in a reasonable co-living relationship should be very reasonable. then work your hardest with Alfie, I assure you he will pay you back with years of love.

Sorry I mean I have tried everything to convince her - sorry for the confusion

But you won't ask her to come on here?

I think it would be a good idea for her to come on here, even if it's just to explain why she doesn't want to keep the dog. It should be a joint decision between the two of you.

Just picked up on the post as I've been reallly busy for the last few days but you really need to tough up on your housemate. If my housemate (which happens to be my wife) told me the dogS had to go then I would laugh her out of the room and then look for somewhere else to live as a backup.
You need to be straight with her , tell her what you are doing and as you made a joint decision to get Alfie then she needs to man up to her responsibilities not just make some unreasonable demands on you because she doesn't see it working out
Sorry if its harsh but its just how I see it

Definately introduce a crate. Obviously it's easier if they're in it from a puppy, but as long as he sees it as a good thing (ie. Treats etc) and not for punishment he should take to it ok if done gradually. Skye has had her crate since the day we brought her home at 8 weeks. She sleeps in there every night and while we're in work. She has a walk in the mornings and always makes sure she has a wee and poo before going back in. We'll say "in your bed" and she'll run to it as she knows she'll get a treat. She's happy enough. If we pop out during the day for only a few hours we leave her out in the living room though. She would probably be fine without the crate full stop now but it's her routine and she's happy with it so we're happy. Goodluck xx

m1sslea wrote:Definately introduce a crate. Obviously it's easier if they're in it from a puppy, but as long as he sees it as a good thing (ie. Treats etc) and not for punishment he should take to it ok if done gradually. Skye has had her crate since the day we brought her home at 8 weeks. She sleeps in there every night and while we're in work. She has a walk in the mornings and always makes sure she has a wee and poo before going back in. We'll say "in your bed" and she'll run to it as she knows she'll get a treat. She's happy enough. If we pop out during the day for only a few hours we leave her out in the living room though. She would probably be fine without the crate full stop now but it's her routine and she's happy with it so we're happy. Goodluck xx

Thank you - I am a bit confused though as to how a crate would help? Because I wouldnt lock him in it I dont get how this would help with his toileting and behaviour?

It will give him a 'safe' place to be - his own personal den. That will give him a sense of security and might well help his toileting.

Make sure you cover the top & three sides with an old curtain or blanket - just get one from a local charity shop, they're pretty cheap then! Just leave the front open.

Obviously he can't be shut in while you're at work, but it'll give him somewhere he can relax. Make sure that it's a happy place though. If he goes in there without being told, just let him be so that he knows he can retreat and be quiet if he wants

Caryll wrote:It will give him a 'safe' place to be - his own personal den. That will give him a sense of security and might well help his toileting.

Make sure you cover the top & three sides with an old curtain or blanket - just get one from a local charity shop, they're pretty cheap then! Just leave the front open.

Obviously he can't be shut in while you're at work, but it'll give him somewhere he can relax. Make sure that it's a happy place though. If he goes in there without being told, just let him be so that he knows he can retreat and be quiet if he wants

This may sound like a stupid question but would he prefer this to his bed then?

Caryll wrote:It will give him a 'safe' place to be - his own personal den. That will give him a sense of security and might well help his toileting.

Make sure you cover the top & three sides with an old curtain or blanket - just get one from a local charity shop, they're pretty cheap then! Just leave the front open.

Obviously he can't be shut in while you're at work, but it'll give him somewhere he can relax. Make sure that it's a happy place though. If he goes in there without being told, just let him be so that he knows he can retreat and be quiet if he wants

yes like caryll said a crate may well help with toilet training as he will see it as a safe place as mentioned and also his personal scace and he will not want to mess up his area so may well help to strenghen his ability to hold on longer

Thanks Warren, I will definitely get one of these... and if he doesnt bother with it at all I can always sell it

Dogs don't like to "mess" in their own space/bed/etc. He would learn that it's his own space and would hold himself until you came home to let him go outside. It won't happen overnight,but lots of praise and treats and patience should do the trick. Like I said, skye runs to her crate when we say it's bedtime as she knows she gets a treat. It's associated with positive reinforcement. Goodluck :-) xx