PLEASE HELP!

hey all,
me and the OH have had many arguments over chaos
now shes telling me i have to get rid of him as were expecting and she doesnt trust staffies :'( im not getting rid of him i just think its her hormones or something :S she saying she will never trust him around a baby or anything what can i do to change her mind?

Not a lot you can do other than talk to her, she could always join here and talk it over with other members who have staffs and babies.

Why the sudden change of heart? If you where expecting & she had doubts why get a dog

I hope you get it sorted Xx

why don't you ask her to have a look at some of these

https://staffy-bull-terrier.niceboard.com/t26345-wanted-staffies-and-your-family-kids?highlight=family

No dog should ever be unsupervised around children but they didn't earn the name Nanny dog for nothing

your dog should be fine with your baby many people have staffords and babies so there should be no worries.

And as an added bit of info my 2 (now 2.5 yr and 7.5 mth) have always been around kids , now only my 2 yr old grandson but up until 2 mths ago my OH was a childminder and the dogs always interacted with the kids

Was your oh expecting when you got your pup?

We got Olly because of this reason ,hes great with kids .

Get her on here. She'll soon see that a staffy is a best pet ever around children. They'll grow up with such a bond

Our old girl Blitz was the best. My daughter (who's now 16) was only a babie when we got her. Blitz was very loving, gentle, protective of her. As molly got older she would sit and put clothes on her and she never once growled at her, ever, she would just sit there. In fact, my fondest memories are of when my children were small with blitz.
As with any dog, you have to be carefull. But personally, the stafford will allways be my pet of choice.

My two kids learned to stand by grabbing Bandit by the scruff & hauling themselves up - he was 9 years old & set in his ways, but he never even grumbled.

Staffords, brought up properly, are wonderful with children & will become the best friend & protector of your child!

Oh no.
How awkward.... Thing is, the kennel club still abd always have backed up the fact that staffys are fantastic with kids... And they are !
I have 2 staffys, and 4 kids. My youngest was 3 when we got out first staffy.

Whenever one of the kids is ill, one of the dogs will snuggle gently next to them...
Sounds like your other half hasn't built much of a bond with ur dog ?

My advice is, if u haven't already, crate train ur dog. This will help for when bubba is born u can pop the dog in the crate as n when needed, if u need to leave the room etc etc.

I still pop Tank in his crate when I'm out the room, more out of habit than necessity.

Ask your partner to have a look thru this forum.

For what it's worth, my kids deeply love our 2 staffys xx

Our old girl Rosie (rip at 6yrs) was a staff and helped my now 16 yr old daughter to walk and was amazing with her
Just introduce baby items slowly and start walking with a pram and crate training
Kids should no way be a reason to rehome unless there is a danger to the baby
I managed with 2 kids and 3 dogs (staff,colliex and gsd, the only one i worried about was the collie) best thing ever

No feedback ??? Hope you've had time to look through these now and realise what a crazy suggestion it is

Given what happened in Telford recently I can understand her concern but there are surely plenty of things that you can do to make sure the new addition doesn't create too much of shock to Chaos. I would think doing things like get a doll and both carry it and train Chaos not to jump or vie for attention when you have the baby in your arms and integrate that with crate training with plenty of fuss and attention otherwise. There was a programme on TV a few months back and a family with a GSD were close to expecting after the birth 'dad' would bring home a blanket that the baby had been wrapped in so that the dog could get used to the scent.

maybe also look for some local kennels/dog sitters as a fall back option for the first couple of weeks after the birth I have some friends who are booking their dogs in for holidays over xmas/new year purely because they are expecting lots of visitors and the dogs (JRTs) get hyper with new people coming to play and they don't want to disrupt the dogs schedule too much.

It can definitely be workable but you also have to be prepared for it not to be I think it is probably be easier with a dog I have three sets of friends this year who have had babies and within a week have had to rehome their cats who had prior to the birth been the centre of their worlds

So sorry to hear that your OH is thinking this way. I do not have any children so cannot possibly comment, but if I may ask her to please read the link below:

http://staffy-bull-terrier.co.uk/staffiepupsandyoungchildren.html

I have three staffs and four kids. Best kid dogs ever! I trust them more than the in-laws by a mile!

You may also want her to read the Staffordshire Bull Terrier breed standard as in the link below:

http://www.the-kennel-club.org.uk/services/public/breed/standard.aspx?id=3080

Paying particular attention to Characteristics section.

Bottom line is, every dog no matter what breed needs boundaries and limitations. So long as it's trained, will obey it's humans then u are raising a perfect family dog.

My daughter lives with us and she is 13 weeks pregnant, we have introduced our dogs Polly 22 months and Charlie 9 months to some small children and they have been amazing with them, even though they have never been around small children before, they even had my daughter in law's 2 year old nephew feeding them flumps straight into their open mouths (they sat and waited for him to put the sweets into their mouths and didn't even shut their mouths until he had moved his hand). This is a child that has been terrorised (growled and snapped at) by her other sisters collies! It got to the point where he was so relaxed with our dogs ( even Charlie who is usually hyper) they all ended up laying on the rug napping! This is a kid who usuallyscreams when he sees a dog and tries to keep as far away from them as possible. He cried for Polly when they took him home
We have no worries for the baby when it is born, although I think there will be a stair gate over her bedroom door, just in case the daft pair decide that they need to share the cot
They already sense the baby and have started to rest their heads on her tummy and Charlie will twist his head from side to side, trying to work out what is in there
It sounds like your girlfriend is looking for excuses especially as you say you have had lots of arguments over the poor pup already

i know staffies are great with kids i have had staffies all my life and she loves chaos she was even on this site :s i think its because he is taking a while to house train but we are nearly there with that but its alot to do with her mother too as she sees the bad side to staffies as her neighbor has 1 and it doesnt interact with people or other dogs and thats the owners fault not the dogs to be honest i think its her hormones but i need to stop him jumping up and nipping too as his big teeth are all nearly through yet her other 2 kids ( 6 yr and 4yrs old) love him and play with him she says it will be cruel to the dog as he will always get locked away when the baby comes but that is 1 thing i would never do thanks every 1 wish me luck haha

Hope it all works out.

thanks ben

like 1 min she kickes off and says get rid but when i let him in she cuddles him and everything she just says she woudnt trust him around a baby i cant make her understand i keep bringing my old dog into is oscar he was great with kids babys toddlers n all she says is thats 1 dog i cant make her understand LL staffies are alike they are NOT bad dogs

Oh Stephen, good luck. It would be heartbreaking for you I know to lose your pup.

It sounds like your partner DOES have affection for Chaos, so that's a start. The house training thing may be a factor (hygiene etc) when the new baby comes, so you could do your bit here by cleaning up any "accidents" immediately with disinfectant.

I'm guessing your partner's two children are living with you both - when the new baby comes that will make three children plus all the extra work that a new baby brings, especially considering the exhaustion that all mothers feel after a birth. Could it be that your partner just feels that she can't cope with a puppy on top of all that? I know I would! If that's the case, you know the answer - take TOTAL control of Chaos in all respects, your partner does not need to deal with a puppy on top of everything else, and help out with the older children as much as you can.

My guess is that your partner is feeling overwhelmed, and I would do too in her position. Reassure her that you will do EVERYTHING for Chaos - he won't be her responsibility AT ALL, and obviously help out with her children and the new baby as much as you can.

You say that the 6 yo and 4yo love Chaos - they would obviously miss him if he was sent away and a new baby brother or sister took his place, who would not be able to play with them like a puppy can. The new baby brother or sister will arrive in any case, but this is dangerous ground and I would advise you to tread very gently here. Just a hint here and there to your OH whilst meanwhile emphasising how COMPLETELY you will take care of Chaos in all respects, whilst doing everything you can to help your OH with care of the existing children and the new baby.

Wishing you all a happy solution to this dilemma. ><

bainzy1591 wrote:like 1 min she kickes off and says get rid but when i let him in she cuddles him and everything she just says she woudnt trust him around a baby i cant make her understand i keep bringing my old dog into is oscar he was great with kids babys toddlers n all she says is thats 1 dog i cant make her understand LL staffies are alike they are NOT bad dogs

women ey?

I do hope it works out for you

It sounds hormonal to me I'm sure you will be able to reassure her.. Good luck

She's probably just nervous because having a baby and having an excitable little puppy is probably scary. Just show her all the people on here with kids and Staffs, and that Staffs were called nanny dogs because they're brilliant with kids and babies. No dog should be left alone around a kid, but that's common sense, that's nothing to do with Staffs. I'm sure Chaos needs a bit more training, but if introduced to the baby properly and kept supervised, they'll be fine.

By the time she has the baby chaos will have started to have mature and should be reacting well to commands and know his boundries. He will be even older by the time the baby is crawling around and coming into contact. just assure her that the bouncy little pup she see's now will have grown up somewhat.
On your part, focus on training, socialising the dog and generaly house obediance and boundry setting.
Good luck and congratz on the baby by the way

bainzy1591 wrote:i know staffies are great with kids i have had staffies all my life and she loves chaos she was even on this site :s i think its because he is taking a while to house train but we are nearly there with that but its alot to do with her mother too as she sees the bad side to staffies as her neighbor has 1 and it doesnt interact with people or other dogs and thats the owners fault not the dogs to be honest i think its her hormones but i need to stop him jumping up and nipping too as his big teeth are all nearly through yet her other 2 kids ( 6 yr and 4yrs old) love him and play with him she says it will be cruel to the dog as he will always get locked away when the baby comes but that is 1 thing i would never do thanks every 1 wish me luck haha

Can i ask, how old is your staffy. They nip alot as puppys and jump up. This will stop.
Personally, i wouldnt lock the dog up when the babys about, only cage him when you need to leave the room. Another tip i would give is try not to be too panicky around your baby and dog. You dont want the dog resenting the baby.
I may be wrong, but im sure some1 will correct me with the above advice.
Also, very naughty, but i breast fed my too, so when i pumped off milk, what ever was left, i'd put some in a bowl for Blitz
She was only a puppy too, so she enjoyed it

My first staff was around 7 when i had my son and they quickly becam inseparable. Harley pulled echo around, crawled on him etc and echo never so much as growled. we had babygates on every room so they were never alone together, but i honestly believe Harley early years were richer because we had a dog in our home....Harley first word was doggy! i only wish we had not waited two years to get our pup as the bond Harley and sonic already have is so strong

thanks every 1 but now she saying she would never trust a staffy because they are known to bite i can not explain anymore that staffies are not that type of dog :'( so i'm sad to say she said chaos has to go :'( i would just love for him to go to someone off this site :'( it makes me so mad she keeps saying staffies are bad dogs for kids she wont listen to me

sound like your need a new miss she miss sound pretty dumb

if i had OH telling me to choose them or my dogs it be pretty easy for me dogs all the time

she is stubborn and she sees what the press see in staffies, i cant make her and her mother understand STAFFIES ARE NOT BAD WITH KIDS! THEIR GREAT WITH CHILDREN normaly i would chose the dog yet theres a baby involved now so i gota do whats best really yet she wants another dog or as she says "a family dog, not a staffy" cant get more loyal than staffies am sorry but staffies are the loyalest dogs i know

why is her mother getting involved for are you looking after her also?

Yep I'd choose the dog every day Dogs are far more loyal And usually last a lot longer than controlling relationships.. Sorry but a relationship should be about compromise and if you want to keep the dog but she wants to get rid of it there should be a way to compromise.. If there's not, well good luck to you in the future coz you gonna need all the luck you can get.. Poor Chaos I wish I could take hi, and give him the forever home he deserves

i really want this to be his forever home we have that bond and i do everything for him already feeds walks play toilet still help with kids and the mrs i just seem to be fighting a losing battle :'( i am hanging on coz I WILL NOT LET CHAOS GO WITHOUT A BIG FIGHT

Just don't deliberate for too long, dogs sense these things & emotions are high.

you only had his for 10 so weeks you really need to get a grib!!

It's a hard time of year to find a suitable home.. Rescues fill up quick this time of year If you have to let him go you need to allow yourself enough time to rehome him yourself, or at least find a NK shelter that will take him.. Too many get pts around Xmas as people want to go on holidays and can't be bothered getting the dog looked after and then others buy a Xmas puppy, realise in January how much work they are and give them up

im going to try getting him in obedience classes see if that changes her mind but if i do re-home him i will do it myself to a home i approve of not that i want to or mabey my brother could take him

How old is he?

She really needs to get a grip................ This is why they get the bad rep. When people make assumsions. I really feel for you mate, you and misses and children will miss out on the most wonderfull pet. I hope she see's sence

Will the breeder not take her back? You just keep the ofspring and you chaos and the baby will live happily ever after but seriously it sounds like the oh is just testing to see how easy it is to abandon something you love, I think she is testing to see if you will dump chaos who you love then why would you stay with oh and baby, I think she is just insecure, women eh who'd av em . She will come around as you said hormones

I think you should ask her to wait and see. I mean, look at it like this: Neither you nor her are stupid enough to leave a dog alone with a baby. So even if Staffs were terrible around kids (which they're not), he wouldn't get a chance to do anything because you'd be there. In the meantime, train him like mad and keep going on to her about how many Staff owners here have kids and how they're pretty much he only breed the KC recommends with kids. The reputation Staffs have is the same one that other breeds had in the past. If you want to generalise them, they're much more likely to bite a dog than a person, and even that isn't set in stone. They love people too much.

It sounds to me like the whole puppy thing is just too much for her.... The breed thing is just an excuse. Get the classes, really tire him out in the day so at night he is calmer etc.

Personally i would just shrug it all off and see how far she goes. If she packs a bag and goes to mummies then consider a home but let her know that if the baby is annoying you will be wanting a new home for it too, cause at the end of the day it is disposable too she can make another one right?

Any chance you can get your oh to join here and have a (calm) discussion about staffords & babies/children?

I expect, as you say, your OH's hormones are all over the place, do wait until she has settled down in the pregnancy, I'm sure she will become much more accepting of your Staffie pup. They weren't called "Nanny Dogs" for nothing, they have a long history of being child orientated. she will soon find out that when the baby is born Chaos will be the very least of her worries.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F95a3sEN9w