Toy Jealousy

Lizzy and Roger love eachother, and they only have one problem, and that is playtime. Ordinarily Lizzy doesn't enjoy toys, although very rarely she'll chase a ball at the park. However, when I play with Roger (particularly tug), or he plays by himself, she'll muscle in and attempt to steal the toy. Of course, Roger thinks this is tremendous fun and continues tugging, only occassionally realising that she really isn't playing. If he does realise, he will back off but still lunge and bark at her in frustration.

Also, when they're playing together, and Roger loses interest, Lizzy will often grab a toy and taunt him with it, then snarling at him when he tries to play. It's these mixed messages that I feel are the real problem. When Lizzy has a bone, Roger knows he is absolutely not to go near, because she really means business.

At the moment I'm not really sure what the best course of action is. Roger can sometimes leave when told, but it's not terribly reliable yet. He will drop when I ask him to, but I feel it's unfair to let Lizzy bully him.

So, does anyone have any advice on how to solve this situation?

It really depends on what you mean by snarling. Staffords (and any breeds, really) can get very vocal when they're playing & the noise can sometimes be quite frightening!

What's the body language like with both of them?

It's definitely not play. She's rigid, eyes hard, staring at him, tail tense and high. He, on the other hand, is basically the opposite, and when he does eventually back off he sometimes tries reversing into her.

Eris wrote:Also, when they're playing together, and Roger loses interest, Lizzy will often grab a toy and taunt him with it, then snarling at him when he tries to play. It's these mixed messages that I feel are the real problem. When Lizzy has a bone, Roger knows he is absolutely not to go near, because she really means business.

You see, this sounds like play.

However, go by your instincts. If you feel it's getting out of hand, step in with a firm "Enough!" and part them.

Well, she seems to be playing up until he starts tugging. She's all bouncy and happy until he starts pulling, then she's just stock still, unlike when I've managed to play tug with her and she will move around and happily play growl.
Perhaps I'll try and video it, I've never been good at explaining things accurately.

So far, the only way to part them is to take the toy off poor Roger I always give him another one, and play a game with him, but I still feel awful.

Anyway, thanks for taking an interest in my evil canines.

Video would be good Eris.

Lizzy is 9 yo and Roger is less than a year? My first guess is that Lizzy feels she is "Top Dog" and is demonstrating that to Roger. And it also looks as if Roger is gradually accepting the situation by reversing into Lizzy (here's my bum, I'm subordinate to you).

IF my gut instinct is right, they will get their pecking order sorted and both will be happy.

It could very well be play but hard to say for sure without seeing it. Have you tried giving a large toy so that space isn't an issue?

our 2 do the same dont be fooled by snarling growling etc. They do that in play too. You will know when they mean it as its totally different and more aggressive

Here we go. A link to a very bad quality video. It's quite a mild episode, it does get a fair bit louder than this.

http://s224.beta.photobucket.com/user/Strifemonkey/media/P1020245_zpsc12a236f.mp4.html

I am thinking about just leaving them to it, in the hope that eventually Roger will realise he never wins and just gives up.

I think that if she was being aggressive, she'd take the toy away when he lets go of it.

I honestly think she's just playing.

Looking at that, I actually think you're right. Although just now she made him keel over in a'please don't kill me' gesture I reckon she's playing some of the time, but at other times she really does mean it, and when he leaves her she does go off and destroy the toy If she can't have it to herself, no one can!

I've definitely decided to just leave them to it, apart from when they're trying to pull apart cushions

It's one way of establishing hierarchy. Not dominance as such, just who gets first call on things!

After watching the video there doesn't appear to be any aggression there at the moment. Have a read of the link below about body language, this may make it clearer to you what to watch for/ avoid:

http://staffy-bull-terrier.co.uk/dogbodylanguage.html