Pensioner banned from Tescos

This is his reply...

"Didn't like shopping there anyway. Yesterday I was at my local TESCO’s
store buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was
in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog..

What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t,
because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I
woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with
my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an
Irish Setter's a*se and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard. I'm now banned from TESCO’s. Better watch what you
ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of
daft things to say."

can't wait to retire

Very funny!