Paraprosdokian Sentences

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Post by Guest Tue Sep 20 2011, 11:54

Paraprosdokian Sentences
A figure of speech that uses an unexpected ending to a series or phrase:


I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

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Post by Guest Tue Sep 20 2011, 12:29

Laughing some of them are quite funny Smile

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Post by janey Tue Sep 20 2011, 12:34



And very true Smile
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Post by Guest Tue Sep 20 2011, 12:48

rolling on the floor

wow some of them are true

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Post by danny Tue Sep 20 2011, 15:32

Whahaha funny and true
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Post by Scubasteve Tue Sep 20 2011, 15:44

Laughing I love some of these!
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Post by four leaf clover Thu Sep 22 2011, 16:30

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Too true!
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Post by Ruby&Me Thu Sep 22 2011, 16:32

That's brilliant!! Some are so ironic and some made me literally LOL!! rolling on the floor
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Post by Guest Thu Sep 22 2011, 22:22

Laughing very good

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