Anything happen in your past!

Anything that you still think about that make you laugh or smile?

Its long but worth the read

I found a lump a few years ago on one of my plums, doctor sent me to hospital and I'm panicking big time oldish nurse calls me in.
she pulls blue tissue roll over the bed and says " trousers and pants round ankles and lay on the bed" she turns her back to confirm my name address ect, meanwhile I've done as i'm told and laid on the bed with my bits pointing towards me like the last chicken in Sainsburys.
Nurse says are you ready, I say yes, she turns round and shouts OH MY GOD THE PAPERS TO COVER YOURSELF, i got the all clear she got a treat everyone's happy

Marty!

Lucky Nurse and good for you!!

Something that really embarrassed me at the time, although I guess I can laugh about it now.........I was pregnant with my first, and still working for Nat West Bank in the West End. Now, anyone out there who has been pregnant knows that, in the last 3 months you tend to lose some control over the , um, bodily gasses.

I was Manager's Assistant & part of my job was to chat to important customers before they went in to see the manager - I'd make them tea/coffee, ask questions & laugh at their (awful) jokes. Anyway, some of you may have heard of Mickey Dolenz (ex-Monkeys) and he came to see the manager. So, there I am, chatting away, and I leant over to put a cup of tea on the coffe table in front of Mr Dolenz.......well, you can guess what happened........loudly!

I was absolutely mortified!

I'm glad you had an excuse!

Caryll wrote:

Something that really embarrassed me at the time, although I guess I can laugh about it now.........I was pregnant with my first, and still working for Nat West Bank in the West End. Now, anyone out there who has been pregnant knows that, in the last 3 months you tend to lose some control over the , um, bodily gasses.

I was Manager's Assistant & part of my job was to chat to important customers before they went in to see the manager - I'd make them tea/coffee, ask questions & laugh at their (awful) jokes. Anyway, some of you may have heard of Mickey Dolenz (ex-Monkeys) and he came to see the manager. So, there I am, chatting away, and I leant over to put a cup of tea on the coffe table in front of Mr Dolenz.......well, you can guess what happened........loudly!

I was absolutely mortified!

Sorry but

I think i was around 17/18 in the summer we was all drinking down the playing fields, Two of my friends were messing about and one chased the other (i cant remember why) . the one being chased was abit cockythinking he was getting away when he ran into a wine fence and was caught at neck and waist and was thrown onto his back.

it crack em up all the time, he was lucky really he didn;t do any damage

What about you, though, Steve? Anything we should know about? >

i can't actually think of anything i've done.... hmmmm

this thread is going to crack me up, i cant think of anything at the moment so back later

Lol at this thread

I've probally got at least 50 of these. When I was about 13 or 14 I was working at the beach with the girl who used to be my babysitter and she was the lifeguard. I had just recently gotten certified myself as well and was quite proud of myself.

The surf was pretty rough that day and an elder lady was waving for help because she couldn't get back in. So I grabbed the surfboard from the stand and was off to the rescue. Sadly in my excitement I placed the board in the water upside down. (For those who know nothing about surfing the are hard plastic fins on the bottom of the board and your body tend to shift a bit when you go through the surf) The second set of waves I was going through my bits hit the plastic fins slammed into my man parts really hard and my rescue attempt was over. My partner who I had a bit of a crush on had to do the rest of the work

Off course when we got back to the office she told the story to all the other guards and needless to say there were many jokes that lasted quite awhile. I got over it and worked there for about 8 more years. It's funny now but it was a rough summer.

ouch!

My pride was hurt more than anything. Well at least after a couple of days my pride was hurt more

I could probally keep this thread alive all by myself for a month or so. I seem to have a habit of making an a#$ of myself and with living in so many countries before I really understand the culture well ..... I'm also an avid practical joker so I tend to be a target

I rememebr when i was younger me my sister and brother were out our garden up by the tree, we made a little hut thing, anyways they wouldn't let me sit on the carpet they put down under the tree, so i threw myself down (sitting) on the dirt and leaves...next thing i know i can't get back up...then the pain kicked it, I'd sat on a fence spike (like the black ones around churches) straight in my left butt cheek. I was only a tiny thing back then, had to go to the hospital after my mum had to pull me off the spike and i had to have several rather large needles in my back side which hurt more than the actual spike.
still have the scar.

painful

The only pain i remember were those needles i had to have, my family joke around now saying thats why i'm so stuck up...the spike was never removed.

My first carear type job was a bit akward. I was the boss but only 20 years old and by far the youngest person at work. The morale was very low and people didn't really get along. Plus I wasn't real sure of what I was doing (government jobs and all). Laughter really is the best medicine so I encouraged practical jokes. I was still going through college and working two jobs so I would always show up with this huge coffee mug filled to the top and place it on my desk first thing and then toss my bag on the desk.

This particular day I had a big meeting with my boss first thing in the morning who had flown in from around 500 miles away. I got him seated and was getting ready to give my presentation. I placed my coffee on the desk, started to sit down, and tossed the bag on the desk. Well the desk collapsed and so did my chair The coffe spilled in my lap and well it was hot so I obvioulsy made a few sounds. The boss and everyone else around laughed so hard they were actually crying.

The presentation went okay and needless to say I was out for revenge for a bit.

MissRogue wrote:
still have the scar.

Pic? > >

jstaff wrote: Well the desk collapsed and so did my chair The coffe spilled in my lap and well it was hot so I obvioulsy made a few sounds. The boss and everyone else around laughed so hard they were actually crying.

The presentation went okay and needless to say I was out for revenge for a bit.

Well, I bet it improved morale!

Always helps if the employees can laugh at the boss without fear of reprisial. Took a bit to hold it together though

Okay one more lifeguard story. Every morning we would go for about a 600 meter swim to test the currents. We would also normally race for bragging rights. I've never liked tight fitting clothing so I always wear a size up.

One day we decided to put some money on the fastest time. the current was strong again so the good news was I won the bad news ....... well I lost my shorts and had to stay in the water for about an hour before someone would bring me a towel

o dear Jstaff!

I probally have about a hundred of these I should have very low self esteem but for some reason I can still hold my head up

There have to be some more embarassing stories out there

I used to be a right little tom boy climbing tree's jumping walls etc. I had a skirt on one time when i was climbing a tree, my foot must of slipped, i feel backwards smacked my head on a branch and my foot got stuck and i ended up upside down... loose top/loose skirt...Loads of boys around, luckily enough i had the upper body strengh to pull myself up and correct my position.
....clean underwear thankfully.

jstaff wrote:I probally have about a hundred of these I should have very low self esteem but for some reason I can still hold my head up

i got drunk once and in my local they have cieling fans so i turned 1 on full speed then stood on a stool and tryed to stop it with my tongue!!! the brass bit nearly took my nose off and i flew into the wall .....................................the whole pub just laughed and said DK you wont be doing that in a hurry again, but i wont give in I WILL STOP IT!!

dkay72 wrote:i got drunk once and in my local they have cieling fans so i turned 1 on full speed then stood on a stool and tryed to stop it with my tongue!!! the brass bit nearly took my nose off and i flew into the wall .....................................the whole pub just laughed and said DK you wont be doing that in a hurry again, but i wont give in I WILL STOP IT!!

I'm sure your persistence will be rewarded one day!

for sure ..... well until my nose actually comes off

jstaff wrote:Okay one more lifeguard story. Every morning we would go for about a 600 meter swim to test the currents. We would also normally race for bragging rights. I've never liked tight fitting clothing so I always wear a size up.

One day we decided to put some money on the fastest time. the current was strong again so the good news was I won the bad news ....... well I lost my shorts and had to stay in the water for about an hour before someone would bring me a towel

MissRogue wrote:
....clean underwear thankfully.

I've managed to think of one! We went to see some friends in Nottingham and went out for a few drinks well we got back to theirs and everyone went to bed, and for some reason i felt like washing the pots however i'd had a lot to drink and a dogey kebab and ended up throwing up all over their pots and the sink but carried on washing them, with the lovely sicky water and didn't realise what i'd done until they came in, in the morning mmm...

The first college I went to was really small (only about 250 people or so). Since we were so small we didn't have any offical sports teams. We were all fairly athletic and all loved to compete. We would hang out alot at some of the larger universities in the area and decided to form a rugby team.

Sounds like a great idea right? Well we had our first game even though we were not sure of all the rules. We figured that it had to be similar to american football but without the pads. I was playing the wing and the opposing team kicked the ball very high into the air.

In American football you can wave one hand in the on a kick and it's called a fair catch. This means the other team can't hit you. Well..... this rule isn't in Rugby so while I was watching the ball and thinking I was safe I got hit REALLY hard by two different players. My shoulder was dislocated and a slight tear in my rotator cuff as well.

Everyone had a good laugh at the after party and I sat down and learned all the rules the next day

Marty wrote:Its long but worth the read

I found a lump a few years ago on one of my plums, doctor sent me to hospital and I'm panicking big time oldish nurse calls me in.
she pulls blue tissue roll over the bed and says " trousers and pants round ankles and lay on the bed" she turns her back to confirm my name address ect, meanwhile I've done as i'm told and laid on the bed with my bits pointing towards me like the last chicken in Sainsburys.
Nurse says are you ready, I say yes, she turns round and shouts OH MY GOD THE PAPERS TO COVER YOURSELF, i got the all clear she got a treat everyone's happy

Marty wrote:Its long but worth the read

I found a lump a few years ago on one of my plums, doctor sent me to hospital and I'm panicking big time oldish nurse calls me in.
she pulls blue tissue roll over the bed and says " trousers and pants round ankles and lay on the bed" she turns her back to confirm my name address ect, meanwhile I've done as i'm told and laid on the bed with my bits pointing towards me like the last chicken in Sainsburys.
Nurse says are you ready, I say yes, she turns round and shouts OH MY GOD THE PAPERS TO COVER YOURSELF, i got the all clear she got a treat everyone's happy

I have read this about 5-6 times now just for the giggle. LMAO

ella wrote:I've managed to think of one! We went to see some friends in Nottingham and went out for a few drinks well we got back to theirs and everyone went to bed, and for some reason i felt like washing the pots however i'd had a lot to drink and a dogey kebab and ended up throwing up all over their pots and the sink but carried on washing them, with the lovely sicky water and didn't realise what i'd done until they came in, in the morning mmm...

i have 3 borthers and a 23 year old son and they all decided they would do a bungee jump. well you can imagine me and my mother all having to watch them all throw themselves off a crane (nerve racking to say the least) they all did a heros shout as they flew through the air except john. when asked why he said he didnt like admitting to the attendant that he had false teeth and so had to keep his mouth shut all the time incase they flew out

_julie_ wrote:i have 3 borthers and a 23 year old son and they all decided they would do a bungee jump. well you can imagine me and my mother all having to watch them all throw themselves off a crane (nerve racking to say the least) they all did a heros shout as they flew through the air except john. when asked why he said he didnt like admitting to the attendant that he had false teeth and so had to keep his mouth shut all the time incase they flew out

The only one I can think of is from when I was about 14 or 15 years old. I used to compete in athletics and cross country and was pretty good at it and belonged to a local club, and competed in the school team. Each year the schools in the area would host a cross country meeting. All the schools in our area competed against each other, then the winners went onto represent our county against other schools before going on to represent Wales.

I had competed in the local cross country race, and came first so went onto compete for the county in a location further away. The school that hosted this event was well known for its flooded pitch. The cross country course was a few laps of the playing fields for each age group. So I warmed up etc and everything was fine. I had warmed up on their astroturf track so hadn't realised how bad the field actually was.

Anyway the time came for my race and my coach had come to watch me and the others from our club competing. We were all lined up on the start line ready to go. I had my spikes (shoes) on and thought they were both done up nice and tight. The gun went off and we were off, but the first step forward led me to slip and loose my shoe. I didn't want to stop and put it out because of the distance I would have to catch up, so I carried on in one shoe and a white sock on the other foot. Did the first lap and I was leading, as I was approaching the start line I could see my coach standing there holding my stinking dirty shoe. Seconds later, and in the exact same place as before I lost my other shoe. I had to carry on the rest of the laps in just socks, which wasn't that easy. But I still wan the race, and by a fair distance too. I was a wee bit stinking dirty though! And my coach never let me live it down how he had to wade in twice to rescue my shoes!

well done you for winning

wow Karen what a heroic effort!! you are a