Is this seperation anxiety? losing the will to live!! :@

Bit of background quick first...
My dog Jakey is 3 years old, neutered, and we've had him since he was a puppy. He has on average roughly an hour of walking a day, sometimes more when I can walk him without my kids with me. He also wears a backpack carrying weights, it helps to drain his energy a bit and keeps him a bit more focused and less bothered by other dogs. I feed him royal canin dry food, occasional tin of butchers meat/dog appropriate table scraps.

I feel like I have tried everything I can think of. Long walks before leaving him at home alone, bones/Kong to chew on, leave the radio on for him. Tried crating him on and off, barks his head off. Tried leaving him with the run of the house, messes everywhere or gets in to bedrooms and chews/destroys things. I've tried putting locks on the doors to keep him out of certain rooms, but when he is determined he can either break in on chews skirting. When I was using a crate he broke out of there too. I don't make a fuss of him when we return home, and ignore him or send him to sit in his bed when we're getting ready to leave and he is getting excitable. I would say the maximum he left home alone for is about 5 hours, though this is very rare, and the period of time he spends alone doesn't seem to have an impact. He can be left for what I would call a long time and be fine, or 10 mins and do something undesirable. I haven't tried the various doggy puzzle type toys on the market, purely because he can chew through even the extra strong black Kong toys, so I don't think it would last 2 seconds.

Probably worth noting we moved house about 4 months ago, and he has gotten alot worse since then, though really leaving him home alone has always been an issue with him. We also took him on holiday since moving house, stayed in a caravan for a week and he didn't put a foot wrong the whole time we were there.
I might get a bit told off now for saying this, but I know I need to be honest...last couple weeks I've taken to putting him on a short-ish lead tied to the table when we go out, out of sheer desperation. I give him a bed to lie on, and things to chew on. I figured he is inside, which is where he wants to be, but still restrained enough to stop him messing/chewing. Initially this was a miracle fix, but today I returned home having left him for half an hour and the carpet has been ripped up beyond repair.

I don't want to give up on him. But neither can I have our home (rented accommodation) destroyed, or dread coming home to finding god knows what each time we go out. It is not only soul destroying but has a nagitive impact on our realationship too. He clearly isn't a happy dog either

Is there any other techniques or ideas out there I haven't tried yet?! I am a stay at home mum for the time being, but be will job hunting in the new year, which I am dreading to be honest because I have a pretty busy schedule as it is, so god knows how I will manage him then with even less flexibility.

I live alone with my 2 children, one is at school, the other nursery 2 & 1/2 days a week. I also look after my baby nephew 1 day and 2 half days a week, so only have 1 & 1/2 days a week alone when I can walk him for longer and try and tire him out more. Walking for more than an hour each day with my 3 year old in tow isn't very realistic for us to be honest.

Sometimes he is good as gold when I go out, other days I come home to chaos.
I would be extremely grateful to anyone able to offer any suggestions at all. This is pretty my last ditch attempt for ideas before I do the unthinkable and give him up I'm desperate here guys...Please help!

I cant offer help what so ever but truly sympathize as im starting on a similar journey with my pup who is only 11 weeks but already cant be left alone for more than 15 mins without screaming the house down , i guess im in a better position as she is still very young and hopefully will learn to cope , i have a kennel in a run with a blanket and toys etc , i leave an outdoor radio on and have been spraying her bedding with Adaptil and i also leave a bone all of which works for about 5 mins and then its on to the barking and howling , so im hoping someone answering your question will also give me pointers .

It is pretty frustrating! I remember the puppy days, would keep telling myself 'it's hard now but it won't last forever and will be lot easier when he is grown up'. If only! Haha. Aww best of luck with your pup, hope she settles down soon for you

there is a catch 22 in this for us , because she is such hard work with the biting piddling and chewing all the time , when she is being good she is adorable so we probibly over indulge her which she deserves , but this i guess is why she finds it hard to be apart , as i say catch 22

Eeeeeeek tough times! I think if Jakey has more exercise it will help calm him as will literally wear him out, remember a tired dog is a good dog. Can you get someone to walk him more regularly? Is it an option to build a run with some shelter? It's soooo frustrating i understand. I'm glad you asked for help, it'd be sad to rehome him. Here anytime you have any questions or want to rant. Someone with more experience will no doubt be along soon.

I agree the dog needs more walks during the day, mental stimulations a good way of tiring him out also. A visit to the vet may be worthwhile too make sure his health is ok.

1hour a day is great, many don't walk at all, but it needs to be broken up and maybe more. Morning, evening night, more is possible!

Do you have him with you all the time when you are in the house or let him stay in the kitchen when you are in the lounge and ignore?

I know you know its bad, but don't do the lead thing.

Thanks for all the replies guys, much appreciated
I am walking him as much as possible and trying to fit in little quick runs out whenever I have the chance so he gets out more than once a day wherever possible. Have recently passed my driving test so very much looking forward to being able to take him out on adventures to different places, local-ish forest walks and the beach and stuff we've done the various walks round here a million times, and whilst I try to vary where we go each day I'm hoping going to places he hasn't been very often before will provide a bit of extra stimulation and help tire him out!

He is quite happy to do his own thing alot of the time we're at home, he doesn't hang around me much, unless he wants something! he will settle in his bed and isn't bothered if he is downstairs and I'm upstairs going from room to room for example. He never goes on one of his destructive rampages when I'm in the house. He only seems to get upset if I'm in a room with the door shut. For example, the other day I was tidying the kids room and had the door shut to keep my baby nephew from trying to get down the stairs, and once he realised he started whining a bit then peed in the hall -_-

Hmmm I'm not sure it's separation anxiety but more likely boredom. He's young and needs stimulation, walks are good for making them tired if you can spend the time but very often with a busy life not everyone can devote that amount of time.

Have you tried mental exercises to compliment the walks, these are as tiring for a dog as a good walk and could well help. Try indoor training like sit, stay, wait, lay and recall. You could also try hide the treat to make him work and even a treat ball makes them think. Some even go for the puzzle toys and even though he might chew it, it might be worth trying.

You are right, tying him up is wrong and I understand that it was only done out of desperation but it could actually add to the bad behaviour. As for the peeing, ensure that he is regularly let out to go to the loo and if he messes inside clean it up with a deodorising cleaner whilst not making a fuss about it.

Hopefully others will be able to offer some more ideas.

Thanks Ian I hadn't really thought that it could be boredom to be honest. Will look at some of the puzzle type games, worth a try! Will get thinking and try and get a bit creative with things to get him really thinking. He is a fast learner, mastered sit, lie down easily and knows to toilet when I tell him to 'get busy'. Got the hang of sitting and waiting for me to give him a release command to eat his dinner at meal time very quickly too. Will try teaching him a few fun tricks now
I don't make a fuss when he has an accident, just send him to his bed so he doesn't see me cleaning it up, I remember reading somewhere that it sends the wrong message else.

So glad I put this post up, feeling less hopeless about it all now

Don't feel stressed about it, things will get better its just finding what works for the both of you. Reading what you've just posted, it could well be frustration through not being stimulated enough after all, it sounds like he's very bright

Separation anxiety is a toughie to crack, but you can do it so it's worth a go.

Because he starts even when you are in another room, you do have something you can work with. It's harder when a dog only gets upset after a while of being alone. In your case, you can start setting up situations where you know he is likely to start reacting, hopefully to teach him he doesn't need to.

In any training situation, you have to look in terms of what is being rewarded, not necessarily as you would see it but as Jakey does. At the moment, being left is a 'punishment', i.e. he gets something he doesn't like, whereas you coming back is a reward. For me, the most effective way of teaching happy separation, and dealing with the initial boredom if that is the case, is to build up you leaving as something that has a pleasant association, while making your return as un-rewarding as possible.

At the same time, you need to be aware that separation anxiety is a fear, and that you can get the same fear feelings as with any other fear. I wrote something about how to deal with fear here:

https://staffy-bull-terrier.niceboard.com/t63772-fear-aggression

That same finding the comfort zone works in this sort of situation too.

In practical terms, what I'd be doing is firstly finding a couple of weeks when you are going to be at home as much as possible, so that you're not throwing him into his fear zone during early training. Try and make sure you've got plenty of time to work with him too, lots of little sessions during the day will work much better than just one or two.

Settle Jakey in somewhere he is happy and give him something totally yumptious that will absorb him for at least a few minutes. Then leave the room and close the door, come back in immediately. Don't talk to him, don't even look at him, just go about doing something normal. He shouldn't even have time to react to you going, and if he does it will be so small that he should be able to shrug it off. If he does make a fuss, ignore him, you returning should be less fun than you leaving. On day 1, just do this but several times during the day.

Over the coming days, you then build this up VERY GRADUALLY. Instead of coming straight back in, count to 5 before you do. On day 1 you might want to do it in the same place so he can learn that this happens here and it's not big deal, but on day 2 you can start to do it from different rooms.

Start making the time you leave him longer, but keep going super slowly. You are trying to show him he can cope, not remind him he can't (edge of comfort zone stuff).

What you should find is that the first day is ok, because you're hardly gone before you're back, and that after that you'll progress slowly but surely until you get to the point that the penny drops and the corner is turned. It might take quite a while as you do have a fairly ingrained problem on your hands, and you might have some glitches on the way. If you do, go back to an easier level to remind Jakey he can do this.

When you get to the point of trying for any length of time (i.e. minutes rather than seconds), make sure he's got something to chew. Rawhide chews are good for shorter times, raw bones can add high value for longer times, and then there are things like antlers, filled hooves, that sort of thing. Our guys love things like salmon heads and trotters as well, rather revolting but they keep them good for 20 minutes or so. I'd go for variety, it's more exciting.

I hope that helps!

Thanks guys, I really appreciate all the time everyone has taken to offer lots of fantastic advice and tips
I will put all of your suggestions to good use, hopefully will be able to report back with a bit of progress in a while!

Theres some great advice above, good luck and pls keep us posted

Good luck.

not sure if this has been mentioned...but have you tried taking him back to very basic puppy training..?...leave the house for 5 mins return...big fuss...give it an hour again..5 mins..come back big fuss...then next time 10 mins and gradually build the time up...I know its boring long winded and basic...but it does work...as long as your consistant and patient.

MissyMoo isnt doing to good being left alone at all , she is only 15 weeks so still young enough to be trained by above method , its unfortunate that one of the Staffy best qualities , wanting to be with us 24-7 can also be so troublesome for them

No, that's not at all too young, Brian. Start now and you'll all find it much easier. 5 minutes is way too long to start off with though. You need to start with 5 seconds. Give her something yummy, walk out, count to 5 then come back without making a fuss. It's that initial leaving moment that can set up the whole rest of the experience.

Ill be leaving her outside in a kennel in a run from 11am till 1.15pm today as i have to go to a funeral , the plan is to give her a big breakfast and try keep her active until i bring her for a good long walk returning just before i leave , ill put her bedding from her crate into the kennel with a hot water bottle , and leave her her favorite treat - a pigs ear and hope its distracts her a little and also hope she might just sleep .I live in hope ...

What Ian said play some mentally stimulating games while out my wife hides Harries Frisbee on her and she runs around trying to find it this works well she runs and has to try and find her favourite toy.