Should i Buy ??

Hey guys, im pretty sure how this is going to go, but i would really, really value your thoughts, opinions and experiences on this one...
As you may or may not know, i've been thinking of buying a puppy for eternity, and been hovering around the forum for almost as long...

Im a single bloke, so live alone, and i'm not in a relationship, so there isn't anyone else to share parenting duties. I work about 16 hours a week plus travel, outside of the home, and work my other hours indoors.

To cut a long story short, i finally went to see a much anticipated litter at the weekend. The breeder is lovely, mum was a wonderful dog and the puppies all appear happy and healthy. All of the health checks and screening paperwork was present and correct. However, there is only a choice of one as all the others are taken.

I want a boy and he's the last one left. He is one of two smaller pups, although there isn't an enormous difference in size (they are a little over 3 weeks) between them. He was happy to be picked up. But at that age, one doesn't really get much idea of individuality...He had a little bit of a whinge from time to time in the whelping box, and was the last one to get to Mum come feeding time...he got pushed out a bit, but i can't really draw too many conclusions from that...But he had lovely markings, and like every SBT pup that ever was in this world, he was cute as a button..

Unfortunately, another breeder who i was going to see this week has just sold his final pup without contacting me first.....

Anyway, when i went to see the dogs, the enormity of what i was about to do really sunk in. I don't take these decisions lightly, and am well aware of the life long commitment and responsibility...even though i've yearned for another staff for years and years...

So, when i was with the puppies i never had that 'love at first sight' feeling, nor was i swept up in the excitement of it all...it was a mixture of trepidation, fear, mild panic, caution, responsibility, deep thought and a need to think clearly....my positive emotions or excited feelings were suppressed...I guess thats what being middle aged, sensible and potential puppy parent does for you...i REALLY do not want to regret buying a puppy...I was also worried in myself, because i didn't fall in love with the pups and was thinking, 'i wonder if we'll bond'...?

I have a few ambitions i'd like to achieve or work towards in the next few years. As i speak a fair bit of Spanish and Italian, one of my dreams is working in either Italy or Spain teaching English as a foreign language..It would probably be Italy as Spain still has very silly laws concerning 'dangerous dogs'...Having a dog wouldn't preclude me from getting a job, but it obviously would make relocation more difficult.

Having a dog is a big change in lifestyle, and an even bigger responsibility as a single person, and one never knows what's around the corner...but my life is settled for the most part...But you never know..I've even worried about having the dog and if i meet someone and she has a dog, but our pooches don't get along! Literally every scenario has been going round for years..

The breeder has given me a few days to think it over before she passes to the next person on her list, so i would REALLY value any thoughts, experiences, considerations, anything...
Thank you all!!
x

Hello!

It's actually really refreshing to read your post - I work in rescue and the amount of people that buy on impulse is unreal, so I'm glad you're thinking this through - though I feel you may be "over thinking" slightly!

You know your life and what you want from it. There will ALWAYS be what ifs. I'll tell you about how I ended up with Bug, and hopefully that may ease some of your "what if" worries.

As mentioned; I work in rescue. Bug was brought in as a stray - she was fearful, aggressive, in poor health from over breeding and completely untrusting of humans. Lots happened in the lead up to me adopting her - including a cancer diagnosis and a failed behavioural assessment - but eventually I did. I didn't fall in love with Bug immediately - I didn't think she would live past the "7 day" settling period due to her behaviour - I only took her home because I wanted to give her a chance at finding another home with someone else, I was 19, single and living in a top floor flat with no garden that didn't allow pets. In the time that I have had Bug I've had to move 4 times, I've been through 2 relationship breakups, I've changed jobs twice and I've struggled with her lack of socialization and behavioural problems. I've been held back from things that I would love to do (volunteering in Africa, for example) and I've spent a whole load more evenings and weekends at home. I've fought to get fixed hours so that she's not at home on her own for more than a few hours a day, and my university choices have been swayed by what would suit her (living in the countryside rather than a city location). I have never regretted adopting her. She is a ray of sunshine and a constant in my ever changing world. She makes up for 10 fold the things that I have missed out on, and opened up my world to fun things that I wouldn't have done before. We've had awesome holidays hiking and exploring the UK together, and if she was a "normal" dog it would be even easier to go on holidays etc knowing she would be safe with a pet sitter/boarding kennels.

There is no way that you can predict what will happen, and you shouldn't put expectations on your feelings. My usual disposition is to be anxious and overthink - occasions in my life where films, books, and other people have told me that I should be elated and overjoyed I've felt anxious, nervous and unsure. He sounds like a sweet pup, spend more time with him as he grows and see if you noticed any concerns regarding his character. He might be a bit of a worried boy, and need some extra confidence building or gentle socialization and training - it depends what you're looking for from a pup.

Write everything down - bullet point it and hopefully you'll get some more replies to this thread that will help you in your decision.

Wow, great post !!. As Rachel says, most people buy on impulse and live with the consequences or not as the case may be but you have taken the time to think this through which speaks volumes with the kind of care you would offer the little fella.

Rachel has written a great reply which I can only echo but will share with you (briefly) how I ended up with my current Staffy.

My eldest son on a whim wanted to go to Battersea dogs home and we agreed but on the proviso that we would only look. We did just that but became very interested in 3 Staffies that were there. My concerns at the time were that my OH and myself both work full time and wouldn't have the time to look after a dog properly. My get out of jail free card was to have an interview with the adoption staff and to be told that they would need to find the "Right" dog that would be happy left home alone so we left empty handed.

This sowed the seed in my mind and over the next week I gave more serious thought about taking in a rescue, so when my youngest son said that he wanted to go to Battersea "just to look too" we agreed.

Long story short, we met my Flo and fell for her immediately ! when asked if we wanted her I said yes without hesitation much to my OH's surprise and when they asked when do I want to take her I said NOW. So there we were a Public holiday, no food, no bed and a few £'s lighter on our way home with her.

Fortunately I had some time off work followed by my OH which gave Flo time to settle in to a routine with us and we haven't looked back since. Holidays are geared around her and we are lucky in that we have a home from home for her if we holiday abroad.

So to answer your question, I think you've done your homework and know what to expect. They do change your life, but for the better in my opinion. Wiegh up the pro's and cons as suggested by Rachel and if it comes out on the right side I'm sure you'll have no regrets.

Thanks so much for your replies...
I've been thinking this through, literally for years...In 2012 i broke my neck, and i remembered thinking at the time, 'thank god i didn't buy a dog last year'....then my partner left me a few weeks before my operation, (i'm fairly sure it was because there was a possibility that i would be tetraplegic if the operation was unsuccessful)...
Anyway, if i had bought a dog in the last year or two it would have slotted straight into my life, but as always, i'm unsure of the future, and partly whats worrying me is that I would be the sole carer for my little mate which obviously restricts my freedom in some ways, but it opens doors in other ways..
I never got that 'love at first sight' feeling, because i'm fully aware of the life long commitment i am making..and i simply could not even think about giving up a dog for adoption....i would feel so ashamed of myself if i did for so many reasons, plus im one of these blokes thats all about 100% dedication...
I'm also frightened of the responsibility in a way...i think probably because i've never had kids and having a pooch means growing up!
The thought of one day wishing i hadn't got my dog because he was 'cramping my style', or if i didn't fall in love with him scares me..
Sounds pathetic doesn't it? As you can probably tell, i'm taking this s**t very, very seriously indeed..
BTW, the breeder has given me until tomorrow to let her know, otherwise she will offer him to the next person....It's not the end if the world, but it does add another little bit of pressure...
I do really like the Dam, she's a lovely looking girl, and although i haven't met the Sire, he looks to be a wonderful dog..Both have great pedigrees and are clear of PHPV L2-HGA etc etc..so i think the puppy would turn out to be a nice example...
Decisions, decisions...This is what being a grown up feels like isn't it?

You sound a bit like me. I spent about two years thinking about getting a dog, then at least six months reading up everything I could about dogs and weighing up the pros and cons. I spoke to breeders up and down the country and they were all very helpful - one woman was on the phone for a couple of hours giving me advice even though she had no litters. I made two 250 mile round trips to see Bo and when I first saw him and his sister I remember the smell and feel of them both and I thought, "OMG, they're real!" It sounds stupid, but the idea of a dog and the reality are very different.

I didn't bond immediately. I actually found the first six months very frustrating and I often struggled to control my temper with Bo because I hadn't understood the mindset of a dog. I still thought of them in human terms, so when after an hour outside in the rain I brought Bo in and he immediately peed on my foot, my reaction was, "Naughty dog, he's done it on purpose!"

I'm embarrassed to admit it, but a few weeks in I did think to myself, "If it doesn't work out I can always sell him on, he's only a dog." Exactly the thing I've been known to have a go at people on the forum for - kind of hypocritical. But then everything changed. Bo ceased to be just a dog and became my absolute best friend. I could no more give him up than cut off my arm. Indeed, I'd rather lose an arm than give him away and that's the literal truth.

A couple of mates came round yesterday, who I hadn't seen for a year. They were camping a few miles away asked if I wanted to go to the pub for an evening meal and a few beers afterwards. I said no, because Bo would have missed his early evening walk and would have to have his evening meal very early, plus he'd be alone for five or six hours. I'd like to have gone but I've no regrets because in my experience, when owning a Staffie, the benefits massively outweigh the drawbacks.

Dogface wrote:I made two 250 mile round trips to see Bo

250 miles? Is that all?? Mine was about 400!!

What fantastic honest posts! As others have said, I have to commend the thought you're putting into this. If only everyone did half of this much thinking!

I guess what you have to bear in mind with us lot is that we're among those who have made it work, however hard it has been. There's no one on this board who will say 'it was just too much work, we didn't bond, so I slung him on Preloved for £50 and sold to a chap I didn't know from a hole in the road just to be rid'.

However, many of us have had tough times, be it like Rach and me with super difficult rescues or like many other forum members who have torn their hair out at the trail of distruction left by that oh so cute puppy face (Millie's had a great morning, by the way. One book, one diary and a flip flop.) Having a dog isn't all just a walk in the park, especially a puppy.

But, never ever could I contemplate being without at least one. They are worth every ounce you put into them, plus some.

Here's one thought for you. As you only work away from home part time, how about asking a rescue centre about fostering? As sort of 'try before you buy'. Yes, you might get one or two issues to iron out but you'll have that plus with a puppy, and if it really isn't working for some reason you have the fallback of returning the dog to the kennel. It's not ideal as it does mess the dog about but it doesn't often happen. It is a safety net, though.

And you never know, you might end up joining the ranks of the failed fosterers, i.e. those who end up adopting. Gosh, can you imagine doing that??? (a previous dog of our started as a foster but with the intention of us adopting, and Millie really was only a foster, honest!).

If you have doubts on certain points id suggest adopting a staffy on a short term basis then you will see what you are really getting into . There will be other litters of staffy pups that come along its not the end of the world, this will give you a what to expect kind of scenario. You sound responsible just wish more people were like you if they were though id never have gotten mia

Great you're putting so much thought into it, refreshing to read! It IS a big committment and not one to take lightly, you will see how richer your life becomes having one in it and espesh a Staffy if you choose to give it a crack. I often avoid dining out at night etc as dont want to leave my boy (nearly 2 now) alone. Ive had him from 8 weeks and at times i have pulled my hair out, but he has grown up so much now he's just the best mate i could have ever asked for! I am lucky to share looking after him with my OH as we both work fulltime and are away from home for lengthy periods daily tho. My advice is this, dont buy because the breeder puts pressure on you there are PLENTY around always, consider fostering one initially to see how it fits with your lifestyle, & lastly you have our support - this forum has been a god send for me!! Keep us posted. PS Sorry to hear about your awful accident.

well i've done it!! I decided to buy him..lots and lots of soul searching, thinking, worrying, pontificating, procrastinating and dithering..
Once i decided to go for it, and said it out loud it just felt right....Since then i've told various family and friends and they've all been really supportive. I'm SO happy and relieved, and now i can't wait to get my little mate..
Time to go shopping for doggie stuff!

Congratulations, your life will never be the same again in the most amazing ways . you obviously put a lot of thought into it. Dont forget the most important thing of all..... Pictures!

I think Emma has summed it up with the post above, you're life will change big time with the little fella and for the better.

Life with a Staffy can be challenging but so much more rewarding, you will be amazed at how much love they give back. Remember two things, 1) we are here to support you and offer any help/advice 2) we love pics, so plenty of them please

yayyyyyyy puppy!!!

You won't know what's hit you, in the nicest possible way!

As well as getting your house prepared, have a good read through as much as you can on the puppy chat section here, and I'd suggest watching Victoria Stilwell's videos - her puppy training advice is brilliant and the videos make it all so clear.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0C724F6F6A597540

When's the big day?

Thanks for the comments everyone.
I woke up this morning and had a really nice, warm, fuzzy feeling...Yesterday when i was thinking about him i was tearing up with happiness...pathetic i know, but hey, this has been a long time coming.
I grew up with Staffs when i was a kid, and EVERYONE in the family had at least one....Getting my little mate feels almost like a reunion...I've always missed my old companions. I think of my departed dogs every single day of my life and the thought of getting another one, after years and years of planning and thinking is wonderful..i can't wait.

I've watched pretty much every single Victoria Stilwell video and also Zak George, and a channel called Training Positive...I'm a big fan of positive reinforcement training, and have read so much evidence against so-called doiminance training that charlatans like Cesar Milan employ..Choke chains, prong collars, bullying and torture devices are not necessary, and my little chap won't ever be on the receiving end of any of the that...
PS:
I've decided to call him Spike, but as ever with dogs he will probably end up with a few different names...i'm gravitating towards Spud lol!!

Yes I love Victoria too and wont watch or listen to anything Cm does or says. I'm so excited for you, it sounds like little Spike or Spud will have a lovely home. My girl is my life, I'd do anything for her and the love and happiness she gives me in return is unbelievable. She makes me happy, a life shared with a dog is a wonderful life. When do you pick the little one up?

I'll be picking him up in about 4 weeks. He was born 23rd June so is 4 weeks old today.
Would you say 8 weeks is the optimum time to collect him?

8 weeks sounds about right. Still lots of cute puppy time but not too young.

I like the name Spud. Spike sounds a bit rough tough image still, whereas Spud's fun. Which is rich coming from a girl with a dog called Chaos, but we didn't name him. Having said that we didn't change it either!

Spike was the name of the bulldog in the Tom & Jerry cartoons from the 40's so it's a bit comedic...i wouldn't even pick a name to be macho or tough..i find that embarrassing....and predictable.

I'm so pleased for you

I'm sure you'll end up calling him lots of different names and you'll settle on what suits I'm sure

Spud is an awesome name!!

I luv Spud! You sound like you're gunna be so happy and ur new pup is gunna luv his new life!

I think i loved this mutt before he was even born...Can't wait to have him running my life!

Like the name spud i call mia that many names im surprised she knows her own name

Great news I think spike/spud can look forward to a fantastic home with you x