Huge Behavior problems and no idea what to do. HELP!!!!

I have a 3 year old pure bred american staffie. I purchased her from a breeder when she was 6 mths old and we have always had issues despite training and loving her.
She is terrified of everything. At first she would not walk on the lead, which we managed to fix. From a young pup, she also hated men, young men specifically. She would growl at them and run away with her tail between her legs when they approached her. She would also shy away from women and no one ever approached her from an angle that would ever be considered intimidating. Recently when men approach her she grows, snarls and barks at them. Whenever my brother walks into a room she will bark and grow to the point where my father has to intervene, however she has warmed to a select few people such as myself and my father and i also had her when i started dating my current boyfriend and she has never once growled or snarled at him.
Charlie will always hide and will not sleep or relax in the open. When she sleeps, she sleeps under tables and beds or will even hide behind couches generally.
This has also all led to un-provoked and un-expected aggression. She has attacked other dogs more than once and not once have we had a warning sign that she was going to attack. I have an older english staffie aswell who she has attacked on multiple occasions for no reason at all. They will be standing next to each other and charlie will just lay into Kelly with intent to kill it seems. We were also camping recently and charlie was asleep under the table when another dog walked past and she lay into that dog as well...nothing in the environment changed and there was no reason for the attack.
She also does not understand play, in the times we have attempted to socialize charlie she will always try to fight and dominate over play.
We have tried to socialize her with people and dogs constantly over the 2 and a half years we have had her, however she never seems to improve. She is still terrified and her aggression and behavior is completely unpredictable. I also have a muzzle for her but she hates it and worries her more.

I have no idea what to do now!

Hi and welcome to the forum,

It sounds like you have a very nervous dog there that needs slow positive handling to train her. Did you try to contact the breeder after you had her a while to find out if there were any underlying health or behavioural issues with either of the parents ?

Have you tried to contact a canine behaviourist for some help with her training ? You may well need some professional advice and input to help you both.

If she is hiding under tables and beds it sounds like she feels unsafe and insecure, what steps have you taken already to build up her confidence in you and herself - do you do any positive training with her ?

Muzzle training may take a while, what have you done to prepare her for wearing one ?

What is she fed ? How much exercise does she have each day ?

have u taken her to see a vet to make sure she has no injuries or pain? i also think you need to get professional help before something major happens! why was she 6 months old when u got her from breeder? just been reading up on american staffy they need alot of exercise,they are highly protective of owner and will fight to the death to protect loved ones, un socialized they can become dog aggressive and need a strong leader! have u tried crate training its somewhere your dog can go and feel safe and u can shut her in if needed. hope u get some help defo try and find out about the first 6 months of her life!

She sounds very much like my boy he is 2 and we have had him from 6 months although he has bitten both me and my oh he does relax now and enjoys a cuddle when every thing is quiet
He is da and when out on walks he has been accustomed to wearing a muzzle
I can only talk from our experience with him but we have to allow him space when he needs it he does not like a cadge and gets aggressive if put in one so has his own room
It has been a very slow process but everyday he gets a little better

Hiya. Are you in the UK? How did you go about fixing walking her on the lead? I wouldn't say that she hated men, but that she was extremely fearful of them, forceful aggression and fearful aggression must be worked with very differently. In order to build her confidence, people shouldn't be approaching her at all. They should be sitting and ignoring her entirely, and allowing her to approach them, and even if she does they shouldn't be stroking her straight away. If she ever relaxes enough to want to be touched (this is a very primate thing, dogs don't often want/nor need hugging etc, though they learn to enjoy it) it should be in comfortable places, for example, not on top of the head. I feel that she has now escalated to barking and growling because she has been pushed too far to interact, she sounds to me like a shy dog that is not comfortable with "meet and greet" situations and she is being pushed over her boundary, she needs careful handling and I would advise for you to call in a professional that practises positive reinforcement; aversive training with a dog like this will only make her more aggressive.

Most of the time, an attack can seem unprovoked to the untrained eye, but a professional can read a thousand warning signs before it happens. I've often seen clients that have said "she's biting for no reason" and when I watch them together, she's been trying to communicate that she's uncomfortable for a long time! My dog is from a shelter and was unsocialized, aggressive (fearfully) and untrained when I took her in, she's never bitten anybody or anything because I read her behaviour and manage her. If there's something neurologically wrong she may not show warning signs, or if she's been continuously told off for showing warning signs (growling/backing away) she will stop showing them. If she was asleep under a table and another strange dog walked past, then that IS her reason for attacking and if watched closely you probably would have seen her body language change, she is in her "safe place" and a strange dog is invading it (territorial) she should not be put in these situations in the first place. Dogs like this take very careful management, they're not "normal" dogs that you can take to public, busy places where there will be strange dogs/people around. The fact that you've "constantly" tried to socialize is probably your problem, in the 2.5 years that I've had Biscuit i've introduced her to less than 10 new dogs, all of which she took a few weeks of walking on lead with no interaction before brief interactions, and then slowly building up. She also doesn't understand play, but will sort of play with the right dogs who are VERY carefully matched to her temperament.

Sorry if this seems a little jumbled, it's such a complicated topic.