Separation anxiety and moving house.

Hi, this is a fantastic forum, I hope someone has a moment to offer any advice on an issue, it would really help me and my partner and our lovely staffy.

(Background, Kai is 11 years old, my partner purchased him from a good breeder, KC registered. He was a good natured pup, is a well behaved dog who socializes well. I've been with my partner for a year, over which time I've gradually got to know Kai, at this point I spend a regular 3 days at my partners flat, and I take part in feeding, walking and caring for Kai. Kai bonded pretty quickly with me.)

Since January, my partner and I have been clearing his flat so I can move in. We've tried to contain most of the clearing and moving things around to when Kai is at my partners parents house; he knows them well and is happy w his long term routine at their place one afternoon a week. However it's unavoidable that the flat changes and for our dog, I guess it is smells and the stress of change that cannot be avoided.

Kai has gone from being an affectionate dog to being very clingy with me. When my partner is home alone with Kai, he will happily sit or play in another room and doesn't have any anxiety about my partner leaving. However when I am in the flat, Kai has to be sat on me or have physical contact with me at all times. I've done my best to keep boundaries about my personal space and expose him to short periods of me not being visible (e.g while I am in the shower) but right now he spends most of his time following me around, cuddling on my lap and what we term 'singing', that noise that isn't a distressed whimper but is a plea for attention. He is a muscly little dog and will sit on me, lie on me, take up mattress space, he is obedient at not jumping on people but he will clamber onto me. He gets attention throughout the day, his routine is being kept consistent re: feeds and walks and I make sure to reward him when he goes off to play alone. I'm sure that he is confused by my presence half the week and not the other, and right now things have been unpredictable for him. It won't go for much longer.

My concern is that it is very difficult to get any personal space or privacy and when I move in, I want us both to adjust to him having some independence, I'd love some training ideas I can start now. He has a period of one on one active time playing outside with me and I don't make a big fuss of arriving or leaving at the flat. Does anyone have any experiences of gently training an anxious dog out of clinginess?

My fear is that we are putting him through the upheaval of changing the flat, he is an old dog, he is otherwise very obedient, I wasn't with my partner when he was trained as a young dog I don't want to come down hard on him for being stressed by this.

I'd be very grateful for help.

Sorry, I don't know if I'm reading this right; had the excessive clingyness only come about since the move around? Biscuit is a rescue and very insecure, anxious and sensitive. Unfortunately, we've had to move house 3 times since taking her in, and her behaviour has been bad each time.

It has always settled down however, but to reduce her dependency on me I encourage my partner to feed and give the cuddles and training/playing as much as I do. He doesn't walk her, but it seems to have worked well for us. It sounds like he's just trying to stay with something constant and gain reassurance. Change is huge for a lot of dogs, so i'd possibly just stay consistent and see how he develops when they routine is back to "normal."

If Biscuit is in the house she will try and be near me at all times; I encourage her to go and spend time on her own in her bed, and give her kongs/special treats to make this a positive experience; sounds similar to what you're already doing! Staffies in general are very people oriented dogs though; even when she's feeling happy and confident I don't tend to get a lot of personal space lol! When i've had foster dogs she's been less dependent on me and will go off and play with the other dog more, and sleep with them, but as I foster staffies, I usually just end up with two on top of me instead of one!!

Thanks for the response. It helps to know that I am not on the wrong track. It never occurred to me that my partner could be the constant, so maybe we will work on that side of things, my partner enjoys seeing how I get on with Kai so is guilty of the old 'see your mum' trick, maybe he could help me out.

Yeah, I suspect I will have a happy little lap staffy in my new home, even when he settles! I think it is his distress that bothers me right now, that I can tell he is not 'ok' with the noise and the anxiousness.