Cancer diagnosis in my Staffy - I Need advice

I am new here and this is my first post. I have just returned from the Vet with my 15 year old Staffy, Sasha.  She hasn't been herself for a while now and has been regularly coughing/wretching but nothing ever comes up. I took her to the vets to have a camera put down her throat to try and find out what was wrong and while she was under the anesthetic and relaxed the Vet noticed her abdomen was quite large so decided to take an x-ray and ultrasound.  They found a "huge black Mass" in her abdomen/spleen and said the coughing was due to the 'Mass' putting pressure on her diaphragm.  She also passed out over Christmas while in the garden. I let her out in the morning and as she was walking along she suddenly stopped and keeled over, motionless.  She was still breathing but didn't want to get up so I had to carry her back inside and after an hour or so on her bed she got up and seemed fine. The vet said that it was likely due to lack of breath and the 'black Mass' pushing on her diaphragm was probably responsible.

It's a huge Tumor but I don't know much more than that as I was in to much of a state to ask any questions when I collected her. The vet did say that she didn't want to operate due to her age as she probably wouldn't survive the operation.

This morning I found a golf ball sized lump just behind her front leg which is feels like large cyst would but after this diagnosis 3 days ago I don't know.

The vet also said that there is a chance the Tumor could burst which would cause massive internal bleeding and Sasha would go very pale.

I just don't know what to do, she has been my best friend for over 15 years and has never left my side.

They say they won't operate and I should just let her carry on and monitor her..... but what if it bursts?  Would that make me responsible for the pain she would then suffer?

I can't have her put down as she's still eating fine and apart from the coughing and knowing somethings wrong with her she seems ok.

I don't know what to do.  If I had her put down I would feel like I killed her. If I let her carry on and she's in pain or it bursts I would blame myself for her suffering.

What if I did decide to have her put down, would it then be better to ask them to operate instead with a chance she may survive and be tumor free?

I just don't know, this is messing me up  

Hi and welcome, I'm so sorry to hear your bad news, can imagine you are in pieces. It's a tough call, I really don't know what I would do   xx

Hi Mark, it is a hard decision, i lost my boy 13 and a half years old October 2013 to the same thing, when he started yelping in pain i knew i had no choice. It is one of the hardest decisions to make and i still cry for my Kooka. Never feel guilty if you decide to put her to sleep, its the right thing to do, you will know when it is time, cherish every second you have now. I am sure she knows how much you love her. Thinking of you and Sasha  

Oh my you must be devastated I'm so sorry about the diagnosis, we're here to listen if you need us

Oh goodness me,I am so sorry Mark. I lost my old girl last February with a similar thing she was almost 15yrs. Its the hardest decision hubby and me had to make, and I am sure that in your heart you know whats best for Sasha. my heart goes out to you. Xx

So sorry to hear the diagnosis, I wouldn't know what to do. Again so sorry xxxxx

Aww Mark it must be terrible for you, I really dont know what to say you must be devastated, I think you will know when the time is right though, am thinking of you

Thank you to everyone who has posted a reply.

I am taking each day as it comes right now and giving Sasha lots of attention.  She seems alright in herself, apart from the odd coughing so I'm just trying to enjoy the time I have left with her.

I think that's all you can do Mark give her loads of cuddles and kisses from me and Vinnie xxx

Inez Maria wrote:I think that's all you can do Mark give her loads of cuddles and kisses from me and Vinnie xxx

I will do.

Thanks Inez Maria and Vinnie

Have you considered getting a second opinion from another vet ? If she is eating and in good health otherwise it may be worth considering having the operation done but please talk over things well with the vet first and don't make any snap decisions.

Kathy wrote:Have you considered getting a second opinion from another vet ? If she is eating and in good health otherwise it may be worth considering having the operation done but please talk over things well with the vet first and don't make any snap decisions.

I haven't thought about a second opinion, Kathy.  The Vets I take Sasha to are very good and it's actually a big veterinary hospital.

I am going to make another appointment this week to have the lump looked at behind her front leg.  I didn't notice that until a couple of days ago so will have another chat with the vet when I take her in and will give an update afterwards on this thread.

I know her heart and lungs are fine as they have already checked those out; she is also happy to see visitors etc so certainly hasn't given up in herself.  It's hard to tell how the Tumor is affecting her compared with her natural slowing down because of her age though.

Oh Mark, we all feel for you. This is the time everyone dreads, when their dog starts succumbing to the illnesses of old age (and you should congratulate yourself in giving Sasha 15 years of good life).

I have been in this position with my two Dobermanns; they both got bone cancer in old age (10 and 11 years old) and I decided that as long as they were still enjoying their life I would cherish every day they had left to them. With the first dog her affected leg broke suddenly and I called the vet out to her, he came quickly and she was euthanased in her own home. The second dog passed away after her organs shut down over a period of about 8 hours, again in her own home. Neither suffered for long and were on palliative care and still enjoying their lives until the last.

It's always a tough decision to make, but you will know within yourself what is the best decision to make for you and Sasha, and when she should be helped on her way.

      to you both

Lynda wrote:Oh Mark, we all feel for you.  This is the time everyone dreads, when their dog starts succumbing to the illnesses of old age (and you should congratulate yourself in giving Sasha 15 years of good life).

Thank you Lynda, Sasha certainly has had a great life.

Lynda wrote:I have been in this position with my two Dobermanns; they both got bone cancer in old age (10 and 11 years old) and I decided that as long as they were still enjoying their life I would cherish every day they had left to them.  With the first dog her affected leg broke suddenly and I called the vet out to her, he came quickly and she was euthanased in her own home.  The second dog passed away after her organs shut down over a period of about 8 hours, again in her own home.  Neither suffered for long and were on palliative care and still enjoying their lives until the last.

That's so sad. Cancer is a terrible disease.  I'm glad that they were well cared for though, until the end.

Lynda wrote:It's always a tough decision to make, but you will know within yourself what is the best decision to make for you and Sasha, and when she should be helped on her way.

I hope so. I am going to have a chat with my Vet this week as I have a few questions that I didn't think to ask when Sasha was diagnosed as I was in shock then.  I have just bought her a new dog bed as well with a big cushion so she is curled up on that for most of the day.

I'll just take each day as comes now.

bless you, 15 is a good age and she's had a happy life with you and you obviously love her deeply. Lots of love for her and I wish you all the best xx

Thank you for your comments Mark; I hope I did my best for my dogs at the end of their lives, and will do the same for Kuchar when his time comes.

And as you are doing for Sasha. You've bought her a lovely dog bed which she obviously loves and is very happy with; this will make her last days, however many or few they are, happy and comfortable.

You are doing everything possible to keep her quality of life as enjoyable and comfortable as possible at what is a great old age. Be guided by your vet's knowledge of course, but ultimately you yourself will know when (and if) it is time to help ease Sasha on her way.

Bless you both     

My heart goes out to you. Just keep doing what you are doing, you will know when the time is right. Sasha is very lucky to have you. xx

I think I'm going to have to do the unthinkable and have Sasha put to sleep.  She is getting worse now and couldn't climb the two steps to get to the grass last night.

Her breathing has also changed in the last 48 hrs.  She is breathing quicker with shorter breaths and is obviously having trouble with it. I haven't been able to sleep all night thinking about it and am probably going to make arrangements for early this coming week.

I can't believe she isn't going to be here soon.

I can't type anymore at the moment.

Such a sad horrible time, give your baby lots of hugs and kisses, she will be in a wonderful place with no pain----thinking of you   

I'm so sorry. It really is something we can do for them to stop them suffering. I hated taking my old dog and letting them do it to her, but I know she had enough (was 16yrs) and she was in a better place. Doesn't stop you missing them hugely though
Thinking of you both x

Well, I don't know what to say really as I am a mess right now.

Sasha was put to sleep at home today at 4:20pm.  Two vets came out and it was all over very quickly and I don't really know what happened as I held Sasha's head the whole time whilst whispering in her ear.

Her head just dropped and I asked what was happening and they told me it was all over. I laid her down on her bed and then fell apart.  I have never been through anything like this and the two vets showed themselves out as I was in no fit state.

I have put a blanket over her body now with just her head still showing and she looks like she is sleeping.  I have to take her for an individual cremation in the morning where I will be present and then return home with her ashes in a casket that I will be purchasing while there.

I am chatting to friends about this in a chatroom I frequent (not a dog chatroom) and they are all saying the same thing - that she is in a better place now, that I've released her from her pain, that I did the right thing etc etc. but I don't feel like that at all.  I have been sat next her since the vets left 6 hours ago just talking to her, saying sorry and blaming myself.  I honestly feel like I've killed her. I arranged her death and now she's gone.  Her body was failing but her mind was fine and she never had the choice.  She looked to me to protect her and I am responsible for her death now.  This is how I am feeling and it's cutting me up inside. Is this a normal way to feel?

I don't know what else to say.  She was my best friend for 15 years and now she's gone.  

Ahhh Mark, I'm so sorry, it was her time and you have done the right thing, none of us know how we will feel in such a difficult situation, my heart goes out to you   xxx

awwwww Mark so sorry to hear but yes she is in a better place, i was in shock for days after i had to put my Kooka to sleep and felt terribly guilty coz his mind was good to, it is such a horrible feeling of emptiness-----please dont blame yourself, it was the right thing to do----thinking of you   

Mark ..
my thoughts are with you .. can imagine how you must feel ..

She looked to me to protect her

you protected her from pain and suffering ..

maybe this will help .. have a read :
http://coldnosesbook.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Making-the-Decision-to-Let-Your-Pet-Go.pdf

Mark, I'm crying my eyes out reading this, my heart is breaking for you, I had to do exactly this for my girl ( she was 13, we knew she was ill but only really bad for 2 days,even in those two days she still wanted to lick us)it was the hardest thing in the world and I felt numb for weeks, still cry for her now( 5 months on) BUT I would have been selfish to make her continue to suffer so that I wouldn't have to! Our staffys are so resilient and loving that they cover so much pain and continue to show us love. The love between you both is still there, I still talk to tyra! I know she's listening! By putting your baby before youse,f you've made the ultimate act of love buy hurting yourself to stop her pain. Please take some comfort from the knowledge that her pain is over and you were blessed to spend all those happy years with her. Xxxxx

So sad mark. I know how you feel. Our old dog was almost 17yrs old, I'd been aware she was greatly slowing down for the last year but was worried about her going too soon and also leaving it too late. Then one day (4yrs ago) she came up to me, sounds mad I know, but it was as if she was telling me, Mum I've had enough. The vet said it was good timing as she had an undiagnosed chest problem that would eventually kill her, and was a horrible way to go. All a blur so no idea what it was now. My head knew it was the right time but the GUILT that I'd paid someone to kill her was huge! However time helps and I know it was definitely the right thing to do for her. Its a form of cruelty to keep them going just for yourself. I wish we could help our loved ones in the same way when they are suffering, but that's a whole other topic.

Hoping you can feel better about it soon, thinking of you x

Thank you all very much for your replies as it does help me try to make sense of it all.

I didn't really sleep last night but must have dozed off at some point as my alarm woke me at 6:30 this morning.  The first thing I did was to check on Sasha and as I stroked her I was sad to realise that overnight she had gone cold and stiff. As I was making a coffee an elderly lady from next door came round for one last look at her and left in tears.

My other neighbour who was driving me today knocked at 7:45 and we gently carried Sasha to the car - she was still lying on the new bed I had bought her and had a blanket to cover her.  We placed the bed on the back seat of the car and I sat next to her with my arm on her all the way which took about an hour and half.  We arrived at the crematorium at 9:30 and were met by the staff there who were absolutely brilliant. 'Gary' helped me take Sasha inside (still on her bed) and we took her straight in to a special room they have there which is akin to a Chapel I suppose.  It was a nice calming room with sofas and a huge fish tank, and in the corner was a large raised dog bed with a blanket and cushions draped over it. We carried Sasha straight to the bed and laid her bed in there so as not to disturb her.  I spoke to Gary for 5 minutes (whilst bawling my eyes out) about what would happen and he gave me all the reassurances I was looking for and he said to take as long as I like with Sasha to say my goodbyes, and then he left the room shutting the door behind him.

I spent the next half hour alone with Sasha in the room.  Gary returned and asked me if I was ready and I said yes.  We lifted Sasha's bed up and carried her out through a different door which led to where the cremations take place.  It was all very clean and tidy in there.  We laid Sasha's bed down on the side and Gary asked me if I wanted to remain and see what happened next and I said yes.  He gently lifted Sasha out of her bed and carried her to the waiting oven which already had the door open.  He laid her down in the oven and asked me if everything was OK.  I said yes and he slowly closed the door.  I said I'd seen enough and was happy for him to continue now (I wanted to know in my mind that it was an individual cremation and that it would only be Sasha's ashes that I got back).

Gary led me back to the front office where I met the Lady that deals with everything there.  We all had a quick chat and I chose the casket I wanted from the display cabinet,  I hadn't thought about what I wanted to be engraved on there and they told me not to worry about it as I could let them know at the end when I'd thought about it.

I could have waited there for the three hours but now that I was happy with everything we chose to go and get a coffee and returned about 1pm.  I was again met by Gary, another chap and the Lady who were very understanding as I was in right state. I gave them the message I wanted to be engraved on her casket and went and sat in the chapel room on my own for about 20 minutes while they did the engraving and prepared the casket.

The lady then entered the chapel room carrying one of their green bags and I knew Sasha was inside and then fell to pieces again.  The lady sat next to me on the sofa and we talked for a few minutes and then she opened the bag which contained the casket wrapped in bubble wrap.  She took the bubble wrap off and handed me the casket which had now been engraved.  I asked again if all her ashes were inside and she said that every last bit of her is in there. I also got given a certificate guaranteeing the individual cremation.

I was very pleased with the way the people at the crematoria handled everything today, they could not have been nicer or more helpful and would recommend them wholeheartedly.

The place was called 'Valley Pet Crematorium'.  They are just a bit west of Exeter in Devon and also have a website.

I have changed my avatar so you can see the casket, the engraving and the certificate I recieved from them. I also have one of Sasha's canine teeth that she had to have out when she was younger - which is sat on top of the casket.  You can also see a yellow plastic case which contains some of her hair.

The engraving reads:
              SASHA
   My Beautiful Little Staffy
Nov 30th 1998 - Jan 28th 2014

Sasha is now at peace and is sitting next to my keyboard where she will stay.  Do I feel any better? No.  I have been home now for a couple of hours and as I live alone the place feels completely empty and my best friend has gone.

I don't know what else to say now except Rest In Peace my little Sasha

kozmos wrote:maybe this will help .. have a read :
http://coldnosesbook.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Making-the-Decision-to-Let-Your-Pet-Go.pdf

Thank you Kozmos, I have just read that and saved it.

It has helped in a way as I know it makes sense........it's just so hard to shake off that feeling of guilt.

Oh Mark I am so sorry the private crems are very good, I hope having her with you will bring you some comfort. You did all you could my thoughts are with you. Run free gorgeous Sasha xxxx

mark i'm at a loss as to what to say to you,i'm so very sorry at your loss of sasha,she is out of pain now,my heart goes out to you   

Oh mark, so sorry for your loss. Crying my eyes out reading your post. It's the hardest thing to loose a beloved pet and I'm know I be in the same position in the not too distant future with ruby. I'm filled with guilt at letting her plod on with not much of a quality of life- I think am I keeping her going for who's benefit??
Massive hugs to you

am so sorry mark but she's in a better place now, run free at the bridge Sasha xx

My heart goes out to you Mark; those of us who have been through this understand completely how you are feeling right now.

Please keep in your mind that you did the final act of kindness for Sasha and that she is out of pain and at peace now.

It might feel impossible now, but the time will come I promise you when you will remember Sasha without pain.

     

Mark, I just want to say that my heart goes out with you. I know the pain you're going through as my husband and I have also had to make the decision to put to sleep a few of our dogs over the years because of their illnesses that were terminal with the most recent being a few months ago which our young daughter also had to go through. One of the hardest decisions we have to make but its one we have to do out of kindness so that they are no longer in pain.
I know you'll cherish all your memories of Sasha and she will always be there by your side in spirit and in your heart.
RIP Sasha