Can you love again??

Im a newby at this! 2 mths ago our beautiful very, very loving amazing 8yr old brindle staffy bull terrier Chops passed away suddenly when he developed pancreatic cancer. He became my true close friend and companion and much loved by myself, my husband and 3 sons and 6yr old grandson. It was a huge tumour and during his biopsy the vet advised us not to wake him and as he had been in so much pain the night beforehand where I sat up all night just holding his paw and trying to comfort him as he lay there just looking at me with his beautiful eyes, telling me thank you for being here and thank you for loving me. Myself husband and sons went to say good bye to him, we cried and cried as we patted and stroked him for abt half hour before he was put to sleep. It was the worst day that you could imagine. The shock and devastation of loosing him is overwhelming and I am having trouble getting over him. My then 20yr old son bought him as a puppy for the family and from the moment we had him he was the most well behaved, loving, loyal, easy to train dog I have ever had (never had a staffy before though) MY QUESTIONS ARE! Do all staffy's have this amazing HUMAN type character like this with human loving traits and a character that made you feel like he was my fourth son really. Can I love another staffy? (WHen time HAS healed the pain) Will another brindle boy be as amazing as Chops or was he the one and only? Your comments and help with these questions would be greatly appreciated. Taff

My 4 dogs are all very different - but the one thing they do have in common is how loyal and loving they are.

Your story brought a tear to my eye and I fear the day I have to send one of mine to the bridge -- but I couldn't be without a 4 legged companion.

In time you will be ready to love again and devote your time to another boy. They will never be the same, but one thing you can say about the breed is they sure do know how to love.

This brought a tear to my eye, so sad.
We had a collie cross who dies last year, he was 16, so was in our family all that time, it was the saddest day ever when he died. I though i couldnt go through all that again, he was the most amazing dog.
But then last Nov, this little staffy followed my mum home from the shops and we ended up keeping her. It was like she was meant to be with us. And i love her so much, even though she is a little bugger. And i look forward to the next 10 years or so that we are going to have with her.
So yes, you can love another. I do think a different colour may be better?!?! Just so there is a dfference and you arent trying to find the same dog again, as they are all different but just as special x

Very sorry for your loss. There was a member on here awhile back who had a similar situation. He felt that the best way forward for him was to foster a few dogs, feel like he gave back. He eventually adopted one of these dogs which he fell in love with. Would this be a possibility for you?

Hi Taffy, welcome to the forum  

I'm so sorry for your loss, Chops sounds like a he was a great dog. Every dog will have their own character but staffys are well know for their loving loyal nature (I can never imagine having a different bread now).

Hayley's idea about fostering is good.

If you would like to post a tribute to Chops we have a memorial forum

https://staffy-bull-terrier.niceboard.com/f38-pet-memorial-forum

Also if you like come and say hi here

https://staffy-bull-terrier.niceboard.com/f7-new-member-introductions

It is very sad when we have to say "See you a bit later my love at Rainbow Bridge" but do take comfort in that thought.

Quite a few of us have also been there, I know when I lost my best friend in 1995 I thought the same "Could I love another again" but time is a great healer.

I wasn't able to have another dog until just a couple of years ago when we adopted Rocky from a rescue centre. This was manily due to finacial reason though and not for lack of wanted to have another dog. Sadly my situation was that I couldn't re home a dog until then.

Take your time to grieve as you have just lost a member of the family and I'm sure you will know when it is time to bring another member of the family into your home.

And yes I think it's a Staffy trait to have this wonderful loving streak running all the way through them.

So sorry for your loss, they do become like our children and are so loyal and loving and ask for nothing in return. Time is a healer and something will tell you when the time is right.x Good idea Hayley on the fostering. x

Welcome to the forum Taff

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss - saying goodbye is so hard, to do it in such a sudden way must have been terribly hard for all of you ... Chops sounds as though he was an amazing part of your life.

Chops was the one and only Chops ... that character he had is a staff thing though, and I am sure when you are ready you will find that there is a place in your heart, home and family for another boy/girl with their own character x

That made me cry! Bless you, I lost my first to my ex, not the same as completely loosing them but it hurt. Chops will always be special but staffys very much have there own characters and when you are ready you will indeed bond with another.

Just want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all your kind words and warm thoughts regarding my situation.  I'm actually blown away that you all are so thoughtful & considerate.  As you are all staffy owners it's no wonder you guys are like this.  STAFFY OWNERS are wonderful people.  I have read and re read all your comments and they are all very helpful and interesting.  I will take them into consideration and have a big think about what to do.  But you all have warmed my heart. You are all Lovely people xo

I'm so sorry for your loss but I can say with certainty that you can love another staffy again. When we first got married 24 years ago we had the most amazing, patient, beautiful staffy and when we moved we had to give her away. My husband was devastated as it was the first dog he'd been able to have.

We had a couple of dogs over the years but none of them lived up to how amazing Lady was and then this year we finally got another staffy puppy and while Louie drives us completely bonkers with his antics he's the most amazing, loyal, beautiful dog you'll ever get. Staffy's are a fantastic breed of dog. Its like all the good bits of every single breed was put into a staffy.

I'm so sorry you lost Chops, like others your story brought a tear to my eye and a lump to my throat. I have 3 staffords and my oldest is 8, I couldn't bear for anything to happen to her. All staffords have that human personality, although they all have their own traits and quirks! You will know when the time is right to consider letting another dog into your home. Go with your heart and don't be pushed into it. Sending love hugs and sloppy staffy kisses!

Your warm kind words are so very appreciated. I only joined this staffy forum today and it already makes me feel happy. Thank you from this staffy loving heart xo

Like you I have never had a staffie, actually never had a dog before. We got Bailey about 11 months ago, he was a rescue, and was about 6 months old. He is now my little boy, with a big loyal personality, he loves his hugs and kisses and I can not appreciate how hard it must have been for you to say good bye to your boy as I really do feel my Bailey is my 4th child (only more loving and less hassle than my other "kids" lol) my heart goes out to you and your family.
Please take comfort that you gave your boy a loving home, he, I am sure was happy and secure with you all.
With time, you might consider getting another member of your family, as there are so many staffies out there just waiting for the chance to bring their own set of personality and loyalty to your family, they would be very lucky to get you as a owner.

Well i'm a blubbery mess again, but in a good way. My heart goes out to you Taffy and all those here who have lost their best friend and side kick. I lost my last dog 4 weeks ago, he'd been at my side for 14 years. He was my world and no dog will ever take his place, but that is because they find their own. Rolo came into our lives just over a year ago, he is Rolo, not a replacement or in anyway to be compared to Flynn. Rolo is the new challenge, a bright shining future helping to improve the breeds reputation one soggy Staffy lick at a time. When the time is right, you will know.  

hia from me and sasha  
so sorry to hear of your loss,chops sounds like a gorgeous boy full of the staffy character that they all seem to have,i have never been in your position and hope not to be for a long time,but i think i would hate not having a staffy in the house,i'm sure when you feel ready to get another dog your heart will tell you it's time  

A very warm welcome to the forum & heartfelt condolences on the loos of Chops. RIP sweet boy, run free and play at Rainbow Bridge...

https://staffy-bull-terrier.niceboard.com/t13988-rainbow-bridge

Can you love again? Most definitely yes. It can seem as though you'll never find another dog like that again - and indeed you can't! But they're all different, and they all have their sweet, mischievous ways!

When my last boy, Bandit, died, my husband said "never again!" and we went 10 years without a dog. But he realised after a while that I missed having that four footed presence around, and he relented. He said "It'll be your dog, though - I can't get close to another dog the way I did to Bandit!"

Well, 4 years later my hubby is just as dotty about Dempsey as he was about Bandit - just in a slightly different way. 

Sorry to hear about Chops. You won't get another Chops as he was an individual. You will know when the time is right to get another puppy. Caryll is right in what she says. There are plenty of rescue dogs out there needing love. This may sound silly but if you could ask Chops what you should do what do you think he would say?  

RIP Chops , so sorry or your loss   . In answer to your question though it depends how big your heart is .
Owning a Staffy is a priveledge and one that too many people don't know about so lets keep it our secret . Each one takes a massive piece of your heart . Chops will never be replaced but with the right one I am fairly sure he or she can help you out with your grief when the time is right . I am lucky enough to own 2 and they are so different its unbelievable , but the one thing they both have in common and in their own way is loyalty and unmeasurable love for their owners

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Chops, and the pain will still be raw for you.

But yes, the time will come when you will feel ready for another dog. He or she won't be Chops reincarnated as all dogs have their own personalities, but you will love him/her.

Many of us here have gone through the loss of a dearly loved dog and thought "never again" and "no other dog could ever replace him". No other dog will ever replace Chops and he will always have a special place in your heart, but the time will come when you can remember him without pain. And when the time is right another dog will enter your heart.

Yes indeed my CHopi would be so extremely grateful for each and every one of you wonderful warm loving staffy owners including the last 5 posts which have come in. Because he loved me so much and you have all helped me tremendously, I cannot tell you how much. Your comments remarks ideas suggestions you all have given me have warmed my heart and are extremely so helpful and so thoughtful really., Yes it all seems to make sense to me know. I wish I had joined this beautiful forum when Chops was around just to chat to other staffy owners. I never really had any problems with Chops though ummmm yep there was one thing which wasn't crash hot and that is He hated Golden Retrievers with a passion (DO ANY OF YOUR STAFFY'S HATE THESE BREEDS OF DOGS?) but was friendly with other dogs especially little playful ones and then with dogs his own size and bigger ones there was always just the protective instint when I was around. YOu know that I'm the boss type manner. But if another dog came up to my grandson and frightened him Chops would stand up and push the dog away from him with his two front paws and just stand next to my little grandson just to keep an eye on him. All he wanted was for me to be home and for me to be in his sights, he would sleep with one eye open just keeping an eye on me just in case I would slip out and not take him. He always knew the days I went to work and that didn't bother him. Oh then there was the walking Oh Yes he loved his walks, I would take him wonderful places always different twice a day then stop off and have a coffee at a café outside. It was always fun and very special. Oh another thing (I'm bragging now) Chops watched all of us one year take turns in opening our Xmas presents then when it was his turn for his wrapped up doggy toy, he took the present in his mouth then sat down and held it in his front paws and slower proceeded to tear the xmas wrapping paper bit by bit till the present was open. Well every year he continued to do the same It made us all laugh it was so clever and cute. So Chops got more than one present so we all could watch him open them. (DOES ANY OTHER OWNER ADMIT TO HAVING A PRESENT OPENING STAFFY?) He always came on holidays with us, you know I found some beautiful amazing pet friendly houses. Plus when my husband and I went away for some nice quiet weekend, yep Chops would be there in the back of the car ready for a romantic weekend away with us. HaHa so funny! God I miss my brindle staffy boy. I will stay in touch and continue to read other posts from you all. As I am new to this forum I will have to see how it all works too. But im so lucky to have all your comments which I can read again and again to help me come to my decision when the time is right. But you know just having people like you guys listening to me rattle on is an amazing tool for healing. Oh just another thing, give your own beautiful loving staffy's a huge hug and a long walk today from Taffy and Chops. But im sure you all do already. You never know whats around the corner because in my wildest dreams I never thought I would loose my amazing loving closest friend this soon. Once again I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Taff XO

I'm so sorry for you loss. Chops sounds like an amazing dog, friend, and companion. All dogs are different but I think all staffies are incredibly loving. When you are done mourning Chop and you have healed a little I think the time will come when you are ready and at that point I think you will absolutely be able to love another pup! RIP Chops!

Chops sounds like he was an amazing boy! Im so sorry for you loss, it is amazing how much they are considered to be on of the family, well, they are one of the family, like the person you couldn't do without, our best friends, it is extremely hard, and they are amazing breeds to own, but you can and will love again, if and I hope you do, have another staffy, it will be a great reminder of Chops, and what an amazing part of the family he was! RIP Chops xx

I'm so sorry for your loss and as many others can completely understand the devastation.We lost Missey our miniture dax in Feb and i'm still lost without her she was as you say one of my children. I truely believe each just as people have their individual personalities and you will never have another the same they are all one and only. Co-co my adorable staff also misses her dearly she was her adopted mom she tought her right from wrong, the best places to sniff, which child she could sneak food from under the table all the important things. We have just come back off our first holiday and if wasn't the same without her they alway charged round, running in and out of the water poor Co was lost and just sat there by the water untill the children went in. None of us are quite ready to move on but with time we will all be ready to love again and the pain will be a little less. I truely hope you will be ready and have another staffy when your ready you sound like a lovely person any new pup would be lucky to join your family x

Dear Taffy, dear kris

We are all so glad that you can find some kind of healing in talking about your lost loved ones. Don't forget that you can post on https://staffy-bull-terrier.niceboard.com/f38-pet-memorial-forum
with photos if you care to, I've personally found it a very restful and healing thing to do. A memorial, a laying to rest - something like humans get which is comforting to those left behind.

You WILL heal and remember your loved ones with gladness and not sadness.

 

Thank you so so such you last couple of guys I was very interesting in your comments and advice you have given me. It so warms my heart with all your replies you gave given me. This is a fantastic forum and website. Kris i did read your beautiful story it was simply beautiful. Yes I will write on the Memorial page but it sometime makes me very emotional and it gets quite exhausting when you feel like this all the time. But yes writing abt my loss to people who are so caring and so open to listen to what is said Is quite an amazing treat really., I so so wish I had discovered the forum years ago when I was happy and loving having my Chops in my life. Thank you beautiful staffy owners. Staffy owners rule and so do Staffys xoxo

      Taffy

Do what feels right for you, in your own time - no rush.

We are always here for you.

Xo Thank you yes your correct but in the meantime im just will I or wont I will I or wont I














Thank you your so kind and correct too xoxo

Will you or won't you? Find love again with another dog?

Yes, undoubtedly, but maybe not just yet. You are still grieving and need time to work through your grief and come to acceptance of your loss, and yes acceptance that Chops is now free from pain and illness.

And you will know instinctively when you are ready to move on and accept another dog into your life. And that dog, although a different little personality, will bring his love into your life, and you will love him!

OMG this staffy forum is such an amazing tool. So wish I had discovered it long ago when My Chops was around. But thank you so so so much (the last 4 guys) your loving warm kind words and advice mean so much to me You all know your stuff with what to say and what to do. Also to you Kris my heart goes out to you I wish you well! Our first holiday is in a week or two just a couple of days away which was planned only a couple of weeks before we lost Chops and he was included just for my husband Chops and myself going away on a romantic weekend just us three. But alas its just us two now. Lucky I have a loving wonderful husband who also loved and adored our CHopi. Thank you kind staffy owners your all wonderful xo

Thank you Lynda Oh so wise! thank you It means a lot to me of what you say Just like everyone else Your all lovely people xx