Bye boy.......

My first post and probably my last, today my old boy was put to sleep and i just feel i need to share something of him with people who may understand how i feel at the moment.
we got Kai 9 years ago, he was a big male black staffie, I always worried he had something else in his make up but never Investigated further, He had two owners before me both of whom abused him both physically and mentally, we think he was about 2 yrs old when we got him.

We didn't want a dog and certainly didn't need one! My old collie x had passed away aged 16 just a month earlier, but a weekend stay ended up lasting nearly 9 years to the day. I have to be honest and say that I didn't take to him at first, probably due to the loss of my collie, also Kai's first introduction to our front room ended with him crapping all over the carpet, running around the walls like a loon and knocking everything flying.....great, just what I need, a psycho staff.

Over the next few weeks my distance and disdain for him started to accidentally work in my favour, he was obviously seeking some leadership and typically mistook my apparent dislike of him as some sort of smart Canine psychobabble designed to make him slightly wary of me and therefore his mission became to try to gain favour wherever possible. I must admit that slowly he started to grow on me, so we decided to integrate him properly into our life and introduce him to the world....big mistake!

Three dog trainers later, including a Royal Marine MOD trainer and the only definitive answer they gave us was....perhaps the dog isn't for you!, his remarkable ability to turn any slightly crowded area into his own personal bowling alley, with him doing a very passable impression of a (heavy) ball did not curry favour with anyone, allied with this thuggish behaviour was a psychopathic dislike of ANY other canine that was in the same county as him, the shame we felt as once again we extricated a completely innocent mutt from his overwide gob, the worst being the lovely and huge rottie who found himself the owner of a staff necklace........once again our thoughts were "dear god, what have we done!....but we persevered..........


Bye boy

What a wonderful tribute to your obviously much loved companion.

A thug he may have been, but I bet he was a thug with a heart of gold!

RIP Kai, run free to Rainbow Bridge.
https://staffy-bull-terrier.niceboard.com/t13988-rainbow-bridge

Do feel free to stay and chat to us from time to time (or even more often!). You will be very welcome & maybe it'll help to ease your pain and loss a little. ><

Im so sorry for the loss of your lovely boy, RIP Kai, run free little fella.

Over the first 12 months of ownership we gained a slow realisation that perhaps we can't mould our mad dog to the world so perhaps we needed to mould or world to him a little. So we started to create strategies to hopefully soften his obvious psychological issues, the first was to stop trying to make him mix with other dogs, it was obvious that his hatred ran deep and not being able to afford a trip to cesar Milan led to a few weekends driving around the local countryside seeking a Kai safe environment for us to walk him in, the criteria was simple, good visibility just in case another dog had the temerity to come near, and wherever possible completely devoid of any type of life form whatsoever, eventually we found a lovely quiet field that met most of the above, this place was to be his playground every day for the rest of his life, until his illness last September, this special place will also be his last resting ground when his ashes come back to us, I walked there tonight on my own and remembered my special boy.

So exercise was sorted, what about holidays and leaving him on his own?, well once again we changed as he was not going to! No more holidays for the next 8 years, and I took a job that enabled me to work from home some of the time......his favourite place was by my feet as I tapped away pretending to be important, I will miss his company in the day more than anything.

Of course as with all jobs I did have to go away sometimes, however the pressure to return home in the daylight to give him his daily walk did sometimes lead to a rather rapid progression down the A303 watching the sun dip in the west, if you we're ever overtaken by a slightly mad looking bloke in a VW golf I apologise now, but the guilt a staffie can impart on a man who was too late home for a walk is terrible to bear.

Bye boy...

It's heartbreaking when we lose a dog, it happens too often during our lives due to the perverse laws of nature. I always remember (but not very well) Kipling's poem "Why do we when full of care, give our hearts to a dog to tear."

You gave Kai many happy years, which is all any dog could ask. You feel terrible right now of course, but the pain will ease and you will be able to remember the happy times (and the thuggish times!) without pain.

And so things settled down, we were now official dog owner pariahs, every time someone asked what type of dog we had and we answered "staffie" an awkward silence ensued, I don't know, perhaps we look like Labrador owners or something, but we learnt to live with it, however looking back I feel a little guilty that we always tried to justify our ownership of this special breed, in hindsight it was unnecessary but that is what we did.

Grand children appeared and did cause some worry, whilst Kai was settled and rehabilitated within the confines of the house and with me and the missus, little loud two legged things were definitely outside of his comfort zone, apart from a couple of growls he usually did his best to keep out of their way, and we never allowed him to be on his own with them, he was not quite as much of a thug as when we first had him, but he was still a thug in places, the kids were also told to ignore him and as a large black growly thing with teeth they were for once happy to obey.

But with all this going on he had a lot of time with just me and the missus, in reality he was never too bothered with her, happy to eat the food she proffered and sit in the warm spot she left on the settee but in the main he always gave the impression he could take or leave her, indeed one of his most endearing qualities (to me a least) was the low growl he would emit when once again I was in trouble and getting the benefit of her advice, however on the days I was away apparently he immediately transferred all loyalties to the missus so his brain must have been slightly larger that we first thought.


Bye boy....

Ah Gdj, as well as the natural grieving on losing a dog, you seem to be needing to voice the doubts, fears and worries you had whilst Kai was with you. Which is fine and healthy and part of the grieving process.

And that is one of the reasons why this forum exists; not only to help where we can but also to let someone such as yourself to "sound off", let out your grief and work through it. Your loss is raw right now, but you will come to acceptance in time. Meanwhile, if you feel the need, please keep posting - there is always someone here to listen, and remember - many of us have lost a dog and know exactly what you are going through and feel your pain. If you can't cry (tears are healing in themselves), then cry here ><

And so to his last days, last September on his walk he went all wobbly, distressed and lacking any of his usual coordination, to such an extent he had to be carried to the car and placed in pride of place on the front seat, now one of our strategies had been to avoid vets, in the early days we tried but his obvious dislike of them seemed to be mutual, the last time a vet saw him was after his Jew claws had been removed about age 3, the vet came to the back of the car, opened the boot, saw the look on Kai's face and declared him "fine"

But this was different, I phoned a couple of vets and explained his potentially aggressive tendencies in stressful situations but they didn't seem to get it, eventually we found one who had experience of staffies, she came to the house and without needing to give him a physical informed us that he had had a stroke. The treatment was just rest and peace and quiet, over the next few weeks he recovered slightly but was left with a lop sided mouth (still able to deliver a good bite, albeit a bit skewiff) and very wobbly back legs.

We tried to coax him into the car for walks but whilst the mind was willing the body was not, and so in October last year he had his last walk and became a full time house dog, he did eventually get used to this, but it was a number of weeks before the not walked staffie guilt left me.

For the next few months he slowly got worse, he still ate (loads), loved his choccy treats and slept a lot but the only times the old Kai surfaced was when the postman dropped something through the letterbox, at these times the adrenalin would flow and he would launch himself at the front door, god how he hated anyone putting stuff though the letterbox.

His back legs were now almost useless, but as owners will well know a staffie is a strong dog, and he would drag himself around on his front legs, accidents in the house became more frequent but we didn't mind

And then over the weekend he stopped sleeping and couldn't settle, his naught spot or place where he went when not feeling well was at the bottom of the stairs, he started to spend more time there and it became obvious he was not happy, we tried metacam and the things but he was declining quickly, we made the decision that the time had come.

Today the vet gave me 10 small pills to make him sleep before she came, they didn't really work, I spent two hours with his head on my lap but he was still keeping a watchful eye out,perhaps just in case that pesky postman visited, when the vet arrived she gave him a pre med, whilst he was stll sleepy it wasn't enough, another pre med followed along with a good attempt by him to bite her (unsuccessful), I think even she was surprised at the amount of meds needed but we always knew he would fight to the last, the second injection sent him into a sleep deep enough to allow her to administer the final injection, a few minutes later he was gone........and now I write on a forum because he is not here, his beds empty, his bowl has gone, and my nightly routine of letting him out and ruffling his head before going to bed is missing completely, I will miss him

Bye boy.

So sad to loose a much loved companion
Run free at rainbow bridge Kai xxx

Please be comforted (you might not feel it now, but you will) that you have always done your very best for Kai, and most of all that you recognised when the time had come to give him a peaceful release you were there to comfort him, and that he passed away peacefully in his own home.

Yes it's hell to see an empty bed (please get your missus to move it out of sight, if she feels able) and you are feeling his loss very acutely. My last Dobermann used to sleep on my bed, and the day after she died I woke up and she was not there and I never cried so much in my life before. But with tears comes healing and acceptance, so please cry if you are able - it will help.

It's still so very raw for you, I understand that, but I promise you that you will come to acceptance in time. Of course you will miss Kai terribly, but the pain will pass, and although you'll never forget him you will remember him with happiness.

We're still here if you need us ><

So sorry for your loss and hats off to you for your perseverance.

R.I.P Kai have fun at Rainbow Bridge ><

Run free Kai, memories can never been taken away ><

RIP Kai, run free at Rainbow Bridge ><

So sorry for your loss.

Run free Kai xXx

Thank you for all the kind words, today has been a strange and quiet day, some photos of my boy...

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Aww he's a handsome boy 

RIP Fella , and a very handsome one at that , hope we have been a small release for you at a dificult time

R.I.P Kai. Run free big man

What a beautiful dog - thank you for sharing him with us. Rest in Peace Kai.

RIP Kai you gorgeous boy x

a great and fitting tribute to (what sounds like) a real character. he was lucky to have a human like you.

RIP Kai

 Run free boy.. He will be waiting for you at Rainbow Bridge 

He is a gorgeous boy  I'm sure he will be sadly missed

I'm so sorry RIP Kai, run free at the bridge

Gdj - so good to see that you are still here with us.  We are here as long as you need us.

I do hope that the pain and sense of loss are becoming easier to bear as each day passes - it won't happen overnight but acceptance will come, I promise you.

&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;

A final update to all those kind people who offered sympathy and kind words.

Two weeks later we are feeling in a better place, we still miss Kai greatly and some things have taken getting used to but slowly we are continuing with our lives and adapting.

Kai's ashes came back to us last week and last night as the weather was so lovely we took him for his last "walk", the sun shone and his favourite field was devoid of any animal life, just as he liked it.

We spread them on the exact lines of his walk and ball chase, he was a creature of habit and I'm sure a staffie ley line still exists in his field, his ashes spread across the wind and now his spirit is resting in his favourite place and we feel we have "done right" by him.

We won't get another dog as it is Kai I want back, but perhaps sometime in the more distant future another bad tempered, poorly treated and slightly psycho mutt will find his or her way into our lives, I hope so, but for now I am happy with the memories of my special boy.

Thanks again

Gareth

Ah Gareth - a very touching closure for your loss, I do hope you found some healing in these last rites of passage.

When I lost my last Dobermann bitch in 2002 I never wanted another dog again. Over the years my pain at losing her lessened and I could remember her without grief. But I didn't want another dog. However my son did, he grew up with dogs and there was a dog-shaped hole in his life and early last year he saved up all his pennies and Kuchar entered our lives. He is not Rio incarnated in any way, shape or form but I love him to bits and wouldn't be without him. Of course we all know when we take on a dog that heartbreak will come again in the fullness of time, but that's the risk we take when we "give our hearts for a dog to tear" (Kipling).

Don't feel bad now that you can't take on another dog in the near future, the time may come and meanwhile you are still grieving, which is very natural.

May time bring you healing, Gareth.

Awww RIP Kai, what a lovely gesture to have spread his ashes along your walk. Memories will forever be in your hearts and minds, and maybe someday you will find a new mate!

I am so moved by your writing of your wonderfull Dog Gareth, you gave him a great life , RIP Kai run free.