"He Only Wants to Play"

I'm just reading a new book out, given to me for my birthday, called Absolutely Barking by Michelle Hanson. It's an enjoyable read, she has two Boxers and writes in a chatty (and humourous) style, much like the chats we have on here (it's not a How To book, just her wittering on).

Anyway, at one point she mentioned "He only wants to play" as one of the worst things that one dog owner can say to another and I thought Oo-er, because that's what I invariably say when meeting a strange dog (usually prefaced by "It's OK" or "He's alright") because a) it's true and b) my aim is to reassure the other dog's owner.

Now I'm wondering - does this phrase really get up other peoples' noses? If it does, what should I say instead - any ideas?

Depends what the dog was doing for the owner to say 'he only wants to play' Xx

It would only bother me if the dog clearly wasn't playing or if I'd already asked for the dog to be kept away from Logan.

Generally, wouldn't bother me though.

janey wrote:

Depends what the dog was doing for the owner to say 'he only wants to play' Xx

Well, Kuchar is 99% of the time on the lead (an extendable one) but he invariably strains towards the other dog eagerly, tail lashing madly. And 99% of the time the other person sees a Staffie gasping to "get to" their dog (and he's also on a lead so he "must be dangerous") so I say that phrase. Sometimes they're cool with it and the dogs bounce around saying hello to each other, and then the other dog is dragged away (not many people want their dogs to play with other dogs these days). But other times they don't say anything and just drag their dog away.

The trouble is, it's usually said when their dog has already come charging, uncontrolled up to Dempsey, who's invariably on a lead because he's unpredictable!

It's all very well to say "He only wants to play", but if the dog's uncontrolled (ie off the lead) then who's to say what the other dog or owner wants?

As others Lynda if I have mine clipped on and my 2 are getting a bit enthusiastic and you said that to me then yes I wouldn't be so happy , so best not to let it happen in the first place

I think it depends. I've known people who meet aggressive dogs and their owner tells them they're just playing when they're definitely not. But when it's true, there's no harm in saying it. I don't say it in those words, but I do tell people that he's not being aggressive, just playing and gets very excited, but no-one's ever reacted badly to it.

I have to admit It get's my back up, as the dog is bounding toward us the owner shouts 'it's OK he/she only wants to play.. That may well be the case, but you then put the onus on me to take action should anything occur between the dogs while the other owner is still some way off.. Molly can be choosy about strange dogs. I wouldn't dream of putting another dog owner in that position.. I don't know anything about you or your dog and will not take the chance that someone could get injured. To be honest it only take one time for your dog to not behave in the way you hope, and the consequences to be dire.

Thanks everyone; perhaps that's what the book's author meant - that the other person's dog was off lead when they said "that phrase".

As my dog is practically always on an extendable lead, if an off lead dog rushed up to him and that dog's owner said "the phrase" personally I wouldn't mind a bit, because that's all my dog wants to do too. But it's never been said to me, probably because my dog's a Staff and other dog owner is frantically calling their dog back!

But - I will try to think of something else to say