Need some help

sorry my original thread got reposted nto sure what happened.

There is nothing you can do about failing him in the past EXCEPT learn from it move on and do the best you can by him now. No point in beating yourself up as no good will come from that.
Can you buy a treadmill? I would imagine that alot of his issues stem from boredom. Just guessing but you are right this breed needs an incredible amount of exercise and stimulation. Can you put a spring pole in the garden or even the house if you don't have a garden? They don't take up much space and he would get lots of fun out of it. Anything to give him something different.
With regards to this breed needing a strong hand i don't agree. I have a rottie and a staffy X and people say to me you need to be really hard and firm with them. I am soft as anything with my dogs and neither have ever shown any aggression towards anything. Saying that, we are consistent and fair. I do not tell my dogs off for things like accidents and i can tell clearly when i have not bothered to walk them by my staffys behaviour.
I don't know what to say re the aggression towards you but i "think" if the tail is between the legs this is showing he is scared!! Do not let him see that you are scared of him even if you are terrified. Personally i wouldn't bother with that trainer because they are using BAD training methods if they are using the helicopter move with a choke chain!
Get another trainer that doesn't use harsh methods. Also, have you ruled out that your dog may be ill?
If you can't exercise him and he is going to be stuck in the house all the time with no stimulation i think you may have to have him PTS. Sorry to sound negative but it will end in tears both for you and the dog in the end. Dogs need to expend energy else they direct it elsewhere ie aggression.

Firstly, welcome to the forum - I wish it had been under more cheerful circumstances!

Re: the agression, I agree with the above. You need to do something NOW. Your dog is confused, frustrated & scared. A trip to the vet is the first thing to make sure there is nothing wrong with him. Then you must arrange to get him neutered. It may or may not help, but it's worth a try.

DON'T go back to the behaviourist - very bad advice was given there.

Next you MUST get your father to go along with whatever you say - he's YOUR dog & YOUR responsibility. Tell him that if things don't improve the dog will have to be put to sleep.

Nest, exercise, plenty of it, at least 3 times a day WITHOUT FAIL.

If you can't do ALL of the above, then you must face the hard decisison of having the dog put to sleep for its own good.

Yes, you have failed him, but you CAN do something to reverse the problems - it will take time & effort, but it will be worth it in the long run.

Oh dear oh dear! I feel for your dog i really do, i also feel for you. You have already admitted that the dog as turned out this way due to a bad upbringing and i have to agree. I completley agree with caryll you may be able to help him but it will take an huge amount of effort on your behalf, if you dont change the way you are dealing with him now then things will only get worse. If u cant or wont change then the only option will be to put him to sleep as rehoming is completley out of the question with the damage that has already been done to this poor boy!
I wish you the best of luck and hope it works out for you and your poor poor dog x

Hi and Welcome,

I cant offer any info other than what has been said above...

You mentioned OCD and Depression?.. are you still suffering?. I have been there and it isnt pretty times.... but walking and exercise is a great way to get your natural depression fighting hormones flowing... Sun shine is another great thing for depression.... and you and your dog would benifit from a few walks a day too
If you think your to ill to deal with him then maybe a trip to the vet to discuss your options would be better for you and Him .

x

You know I know I failed this dog and I can not stop blaming my self for it and no matter what anyone says this made me realize what an idiot I am and weak one at that to.
I know it all to well.
I should of listened to my mother when she told me don't buy another dog.
It is a lot of work and you are just not stable enough on a daily basis to do all the work.
So now this poor dog as to pay for my stupidity and fear.
because at the end of the day it all boils down to my fear of him. I wish I could find him another stable home but I have tryed and since the they banned this dogs is not easy . especially since he has a history of biting.

sorry for my spelling.

Don't worry about your English, it's fine!

Don't keep blaming yourself, what's done is done. You now have to look to the future & what you can do to help your dog and yourself.

You need to face the problems & try to work through them. You MUST work with your dog as sugested or have him put to sleep. There is no alternative.

Are you on any medication for your depression? If not, maybe a trip to your doctor would help you, and also then your dog. Please don't give up on him - work with him and try to make amends. Even if it doesn't work, you'll know that you have done all you can.

I dont think beating yourself up will help... focus on the positive.. you must have done something right in those 5 years ... he is still there with you.

Take him to the vet and have him Neut.. and then seek help with his training.

This morning I will keep calling and trying to find a better trainer. I have been to the vet today but he gave me the worst trainers in all of canada they are called "bark baster" it's the worst.
The vet doesn't really care and wont be able to help. I will try a new vet to.
My depression is on and off my OCD have been very bad and got worst from the day I was born. I live the pretty much the life of a dog my self. I am house bound hardly ever go out and have no comunication with no one. I thanks god my father is well economically or I would be headingunder a bridge.
I am also a valium addict for many years now for the fault of a stupid psychologist who got me hooked on it and now I have to deal with that to.
Seems like anything that comes into contact with me in my life turns out badly.
This is why if either I fix my staffy or eventually have him put down I have promised my self that I will never own another dog again. it's just not fair.
If i can't find happiness in my own life I can not give happiness to anyone else.

Yes find another VET... and take your dog to see him/her

I hope you find some happiness soon... you need to look after your self too... OCD is not your fault and it can be treated to some degree , perhaps also try a new psychologist for yourself too.. x

I agree. You need to find some happiness in your own life as well. OCD can be treated but you have to make the first move.

You will also need to tackle the valium addiction - maybe your doctor can help there.

Please don't give up - if you can find the support you need, then you will be able to move forward. One step at a time. My thoughts & prayers are with you.

Ty for all the help and support.
This mornign I will get ont he phone and start looking for a better trainer and vet.
I will keep you guys updated later on tonight.

maurier wrote:Ty for all the help and support.
This mornign I will get ont he phone and start looking for a better trainer and vet.
I will keep you guys updated later on tonight.

Anytime.. I dont have OCD... but i have been down the Depression path .. any thing I can help others thru I am more than happy to.

Hope you are feeling better adn more positive this morning xx take care and good luck finding a vet and maybe take your dog to a dog school?
x

Try to keep positive. I too know what depression is like, but from a different perspective - my husband suffered very badly with depression a few years ago & is on medication, probably for life. But the good news is that the medication has turned his life around & he is happy for the first time in many years.

Please know that you are not alone - although you are thousands of miles away, we are here to talk to you if you need it.

One day at a time.

I cant comment on the depression side of things but what i can say is the first step was admitting that whats happened to the dog is of your doing and u obviously care as u came to us asking for help! I think u sound like a great person who dispite your failings obviously cares a great deal for your dog! I think u can do it! Really i wish u the absolute best of luck xx ><

blaze666 wrote:I cant comment on the depression side of things but what i can say is the first step was admitting that whats happened to the dog is of your doing and u obviously care as u came to us asking for help! I think u sound like a great person who dispite your failings obviously cares a great deal for your dog! I think u can do it! Really i wish u the absolute best of luck xx ><

Completely agree with all of the above...

Aww such a shame try and work with the dog he might change he might not but at least u can say u have tried

Hi again,
I have spoken to several trainer and booked an appointm,ent with a good one this week coming up.
I am a little reliefed because he told me that Lack of exercise is not a cause of aggressive behavior. Many aggressive dogs exercise on a daily basis.
He told me that has nothing to do with the behavious of my dog and it is a common misbelief. The more important one is the lack of structure in the house hold will cause the dog to become dominant and in some cases aggressive.
At least I don't have to feel guilty for that one =) That is why my vet even said that not walkign a dog often will make them aggressive and I tought that a little absurd and I had it confirmed that my vet is a moron and I am also looking for a new one.
I saw this video of an aggressive bull dog and he is a loving family

https://www.youtube.com/user/Lucthedog2006#p/u/12/lpAAr3gvusk
https://www.youtube.com/user/Lucthedog2006#p/u/10/f3q2M8MTIyc
https://www.youtube.com/user/Lucthedog2006#p/u/11/X7VfBPRwa8w

I know a dog growling it's not funny but not letting the poor guy on hes golf cart was a little funny lol
Keep in mind my staffie is not this bad lol. I can approach him and take food from hes mouth wtc...
Just shows unpredictable aggression in some cases. This is why I am changing vet to make sure nothing is wrong with him physically.
I truly believe this dog molded after me and picked up on some of my anxiety. I am not violentby any means but because of my current situation I tend to be a little grumpy and I think my stuffie is a little similiar and picks up on the energy. I could be wrong.
I almost hanged up on 2 trainer cause they kept saying he is a pit bull. I told them IT IS NOT A PIT BULL there is no such breed has a pit bull. Staffies are much smaller then the american pit bullt errier and look differently.
Jesus some of this trainer here in ontario are total idiots. I wish I was back in europe with my dog.
One even said that staffordshire bull terrier is a name that trainer used to camouflage the true identity of the pit bull terrier hahaha
I should of let him come to my house and let my dog bite him on the ass
A lot of them wanted me to neuter him but I think that this is not the right time to neuter him. I wanted to wait until he is under control; then neuter him. I wouldn't want to make thigns worst atm. And any trainer that refuses to work with an unneutered dog should change job in my opinion.
People train lions and tigers and this guys are scared of a 16 kg dog? what a joke.

For example last night I went downstairs to grab my cigarettes and then made my way towards the stairs and he got right infront of me in a dominant stance. he wasn't growling aggressivly it was like a " you do what I tell you" type of growl and he wouldn't let me get near the stairs So i showed him the cigarettes cause I tought he might think I had food in my hands and he jumped up and bit the smokes. Now keep in mind he didn't even rip the paper just a nip if you can even call it that. But still that is not acceptable.
Now my dad has a crazy theory of es and it actually might be true. Since I also have a guinea pig and a parrot when ever my dog hears them he goes crazy and gets aggressive and if eh thinks we are brining food to them he blocks the stairs. Today I was upstairs cleaning my parrot cage and was speaking to him and I could here my staffie downstairs going crazy. But then again I can not trust him near my parrto because I know he will kill them.

Your dog is your boss. It should be the other way around!

You must somehow make him see that YOU are in charge, not him. I do think that you must get him neutered, sooner rather than later - the hormones will not be helping the problem.

I think the only thing that is connected to your other pets is the fact that he doesn't like you showing interst to anything other than him - he is possessive & jealous.

I stick by my first post to you - whether you take any notice of it is totally up to you.

Sorry for posting again but need to vent my frustration out.
Lately , since my staffie constantly pee in hes cage, I would lock hes crate and not let him in it. Aso has a way of claiming it from him. It was 3 days counting this morning that he did not pee anywhere in the house. A miracle.
Last night went to bed early and told my bloody father to keep the crate LOCKED. Guess what ? I go downstairs this morning around 6 am smell urine and I see hes cage opened. He peed in it and he smells like urine.
Honestly I would rather put my father down then the dog=/
I am really , really TIRED. I keep telling him NOT to give him attention and pet him when he jumps on him and he keeps doing it. I am not going to lie and say that I had control on this dog, BUT since my father lives with me this dog has gotten progressively worst and it is turning on me to.
I can get thru to him. He sleeps downstairs on the couch near the TV every night and I have to put up with that to.Pretty much a prisoner since I can't go down int he kitchen or do it slowly because he will wake up and then the dog starts barking and growling when I go back upstairs. Wich he DOESN'T DO when I was alone with him. Since he is not well physically, with hes prostate, I think he gets depressed in hes room and goes downstairs. Thi sis obviously not good for my dog because he is getting hes way every day.
Can I kick my father out of the house , technically he's house? I just can not do that especially since he is sick.
I found another trainer hre is a video of him
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfGi7f-GB20

He will actually take my dog in for 1 month and train him. Now this was given to me from a friend so not sure how reliable he is. But then again not many trainers here that will work with my dog.
But even if I give him my dog and he changes him then he comes back in my house and I can not control my father or put the time in to keep this up. This dog will revert back to the way he was. Making it even more stressfull on him and us.
I know you tell me that I should tell my father that he is my dog etc... but it is not that easy. I wish it was.
My father sleeping patterns are all screwed up because of he's cancer he lives in depression .
It is a difficult spot I am stuck in. Living in ahouse with a dog out of control and a father who is npt well and out of control himself, and me with all my other crap it really is not somehtign I wish upon anybody.

Bought my staffie a new muzzle it's a baskerville size 12. Much more comfortable then those cheap ones.
Having a hard time putting it on him. I don't want to force it on him and trying to let him put the nose in it. Yesterday was trying but when i tried to strap it from behind I saw him lift hes lips and new what was coming. Plus with my dad there taking and making me even more nervous wasn't helping. He even said I will put it on him later hahaha so he can take another bite.
Dogs need a calm stable home and I just recently realized how right Cesar Millan is about the negative energy.
The just pick up on it and act upon it. You need a firm hand , patience and to be assertive. I wish I new this things more before.

I really don't know what else to say to you. I really feel for your present situation & problems & I wish I could wave a magic wand and make them all disappear, but that won't happen.

I hate saying this, but unless you can do everything that has been sugested to you already, you must consider whether it would be fairer to put this dog to sleep.