Reasons not to allow drinking on the job

It's an incentive to show up.

It reduces stress.

It leads to more honest communication.

It reduces complaints about low pay.

It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.

Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.

It helps save on heating costs in the winter.

It encourages carpooling.

It increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't realize it.

It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

It makes fellow employees look better.

It makes conversations easier.

It promotes honesty.

It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.

Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

Suddenly, farting during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.