Your Awful Xmas Cracker Jokes Here Please

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Post by Steve Tue Dec 20 2011, 20:58

The worst one wins.

What do you call a bloke who works in the perfume department at xmas?

Frank. In scents.

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Post by janey Tue Dec 20 2011, 21:18



I can never remember any Laughing
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Post by Guest Tue Dec 20 2011, 21:28

2 snowmen in a garden snowman says to the other "Can you smell carrot" Big Grin

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Post by Beccaface Tue Dec 20 2011, 21:50

Oh Marty, just awful Laughing.
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Post by Guest Tue Dec 20 2011, 22:39

whats green and stinks
answer the incredible hulks guff

and i promise i had that in a cracker Big Grin

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Post by Guest Tue Dec 20 2011, 22:41

Where does a horse go when he's not feeling well ?

The horsepital.

bounce

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Post by Guest Tue Dec 20 2011, 22:43

knock knock
* who is there
cargo
*cargo who
cargo beep beep

Big Grin Blushing

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Post by Guest Tue Dec 20 2011, 22:44

why did the banana go to the doctors
he wasnt peeling very well

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Post by Guest Tue Dec 20 2011, 22:44

bigwazza wrote:knock knock
* who is there
cargo
*cargo who
cargo beep beep

Big Grin Blushing

Laughing

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Post by janey Tue Dec 20 2011, 22:45

bigwazza wrote:knock knock
* who is there
cargo
*cargo who
cargo beep beep

Big Grin Blushing


Took me 3 attempts, but Laughing
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Post by Guest Tue Dec 20 2011, 22:45

Whatdid the Sea say to the sand ?

Nothing - he just waved Laughing

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Post by Guest Tue Dec 20 2011, 22:45

whats the differance between snow man and snow ladys

snow balls

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Post by Guest Wed Dec 21 2011, 08:38

rolling on the floor

these are brilliant

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Post by Kathy Wed Dec 21 2011, 08:43

Whats brown and sticky?

A stick Smile
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Post by Guest Wed Dec 21 2011, 08:52

What did the Policeman say to the stomach?
You're under a vest

"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud."
"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."

Did you hear about the man who bought a paper shop?
It blew away.


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Post by Guest Wed Dec 21 2011, 10:54

What's black and white and eats like a horse ?

A ZEBRA.

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Post by Guest Wed Dec 21 2011, 10:55

Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing

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Post by Guest Wed Dec 21 2011, 20:43

why was the sand laughing

cos the seaweed

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Post by Guest Thu Dec 22 2011, 06:28

what do you call a pig that knows karate?


Pork chop

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Post by Guest Thu Dec 22 2011, 11:24

what did the farmer say when he could'nt find his tractor?




where's my tractor hee hee








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Post by Guest Thu Dec 22 2011, 11:35

Loopy wrote:what did the farmer say when he could'nt find his tractor?




where's my tractor hee hee








Laughing

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Post by perry1960 Thu Dec 22 2011, 20:31

Why do elephants have big ears?






because noddy would not pay the ransom I dont want to s
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Post by Scubasteve Fri Dec 23 2011, 12:00

Laughing Cheered me up reading these!
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Post by IckleMini Fri Dec 23 2011, 13:06

Did you hear the one about the dyslexic devil worshipper?

He sold his soul to Santa Big Grin
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