Bobby pulled me over last night

got pulled over last night winds the window down and says "evening officer"

he says "do you know the speed limit down this road"

i say "yeah its 40"
he says "we'll you were doing 45 so I'm giving you a ticket, can i see my documents"
i say " don't have any, i haven't taken a driving test, so I'm not insured or MOT'd"
he writes it down he asks if I've been drinking i say "yeah I've had a couple of pints" he looks happy with this and writes it down.
he asks can I have a look round the car i say "I'll tell you now there's weapons in the back there's a baseball bat and a knuckleduster" the fella's over joyed and writes it down, 2 police vans arrive, a car and the helicopters above me
The Chief of police gets out exchanges pleasantries and asks for my documents i produce all my documents he looks at the bobby puzzled,
he asks would i take a breath test i say "yeah I've been tea total for 7 year, 1st bobby's looking not so chipper and the chief not to happy by now, he then asks to see inside my car i say " yeah no problem but I'm a bit embarrassed by the Celine Dion CD in the glove box" all clear
The Chief says "this officer said you had no documents, you'd been drinking and the car contained weapons
i said " the lying b******d probably said i was doing 45 down here as well did he"

Hope it was worth it

Heard this one before.....but it must be good cos I laughed at it again

lmao i like that.

Thats a good one

Oh, nice one - I'll tell that to my OH tomorrow (he's gone to bed cause he has to get up at 5am tomorrow).