Loathe to muzzle

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Sad Loathe to muzzle

Post by numptynance Wed Oct 17 2012, 12:58

Hi peeps - we have had our Staffy for 8 weeks (she's now 11 months old). She's a lovely affectionate dog and came from a lady with 3 young kids (ages 3, 5 & 7), & unfortunately couldnt give Tess the time & attention she needed. My problem is my step-daughter...she has a 2 & a half year old little girl. Tess has never shown any aggression whatsoever to anyone (she's a bit giddy when anyone calls but calms down soon enough). When we got her, she did like to lick/chew/nibble hands & ears etc, although she's now much improved (admittedly she would get a bit "past herself" & sometimes it hurt ! But it was playfulness - definitely not aggresive & like I said, she's loads better now. So the other night, my stepdaughter said she would feel more comfortable if we could muzzle Tess when she visits whth her daughter !! I'm really not happy to do this - Tess is not a nasty dog & is still a puppy - we're well aware to watch her around a child (as any sensible owner of any breed would). They've only met 5 or 6 times & Tess has become calmer each time. I wouldnt mind but we had a staffy previously who my stepdaughter grew up with !!! Her problem is regarding a staffies "lock bite" & that "if" she bit her daughter, it would cause more damage than any other dog !! I could understand if Tess showed any dislike but she hasn't & we're all very careful to watch Tess (she's bigger than our other dog). I'm fuming about all this, & wondered where I go from here ?? She won't listen to reason, even thothh she thinks Tess is a lovely dog & really likes her ! There is no justification AT ALL as fas as I am concerned to muzzle my lovely dog, & bearing in mind she was brought up with 3 young kids for the first 8 months of her life. What to do ???
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Sad Re: Loathe to muzzle

Post by Dan330 Wed Oct 17 2012, 13:21

Ask her to reserch the breed rather than pass judgement based on what she has read/heard on the news... The KC only recommend 3 breeds with small children... the SBT is one.

I have a similar problem as my sister is about to become a mum for the first time... Her husband kicked off a abit when we got ours. I sent him loads of informatuion on the breed and he soon changed his mind.
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Sad Re: Loathe to muzzle

Post by Kathy Wed Oct 17 2012, 13:43

If she is visiting your home she must go by your home rules and not bring hers with her. Just as you would for instance take your shoes off when visiting someone elses house but you may keep them on in your home. Yes sounds like she needs some further education on the ways of the Staffy.
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Sad Re: Loathe to muzzle

Post by numptynance Wed Oct 17 2012, 13:51

The thing is my stepdaughter grew up with a Staffy without any problems...it appears that its actually her mum who is telling her to insist on a muzzle !! I'm so annoyed...I believe a dog should only be muzzled if it warrants it - and even if we did agree to it, at what point in the future does she think its ok to not wear it ?? When her daughter's 21 ??
Raaaggghhh !!!!!
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Sad Re: Loathe to muzzle

Post by Dan330 Wed Oct 17 2012, 14:32

Ouch... inlaws that arnt yours causing problems!! Thats a tricky one lol.
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Sad Re: Loathe to muzzle

Post by laurenjuby89 Wed Oct 17 2012, 14:46

There is no such thing as lock jaw, it's a myth, I realise the staffie jaw is very strong but other strong breeds also have strong jaws, a golden retriever is large, strong and has a strong jaw, if it wanted to it could cause a lot of damage and kill a child, just like a staffie could if it wanted to, but a staffie is no more likely to want to than a golden retriever is, and even though many unofficial sites will say that golden retrievers are the best around children, the official kennel club only recommends very few breeds, a staffie is one, a golden retriever isn't. Not that I'm saying golden retrievers are bad with children or anything, but I'm just saying that staffies are probably even better than the breed with the top marks with kids, they are just over looked because of the media's rubbish. The cases where a staffie does attack is very rare considering how many there are, and they are not in normal family circumstances, even when the papers try to say they were family pets, they no way were, there's always hidden information.
If you google golden retriever attacks child, you see some horrific stories! The only reason you don't see it on the news like you do with staffies is because the media pick on staffies. I would just say that based on this info, staffies don't need muzzling just as other breeds don't! You can find attack stories on any breed, it's just not publicly talked about like it is with the staffie because everyone picks on staffies. But really it would be just as bad if another strong breed attacked. And aggression towards other dogs is completely different to aggression towards people, and anyone who says if a dog can attack another animal, it can attack a person, obviously knows nothing about how intelligent dogs are, it's such rubbish. Not that I'm saying your dog is aggressive with animals, just saying in general because that's another thing people will use against our breed.
I've had a tough time with my in-laws in the past regarding staffies, and they are animal lovers! But they had heard the wrong stuff and although I would never let them tell me what to do anyway, I was determined to make them see the truth rather than thinking I was irresponsible and stupid and staffies are evil! Even when they met my mum's one they tried to say he was a one off friendly one that we had got out of luck! They was upset when I got my Rocco but he has shown them that my mum's dog wasn't a one off, they love him now and although all the info I gave them on staffies didn't convince them and left them still unsure, Rocco proved them wrong once and for all! Just stand up for your dog, it's all you can do, staffie lovers have to stick together!
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Sad Re: Loathe to muzzle

Post by Guest Wed Oct 17 2012, 16:17

Your house, your rules she can either like it or lump it.

No way would i muzzle my dog when someone is visiting my house just 'cos it makes her feel better.

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Sad Re: Loathe to muzzle

Post by Guest Wed Oct 17 2012, 16:22

If you dont want to muzzle then dont stick to your guns if a dog shows no aggresion why listen to your step daughter its like punishing a dog for doing nothing wrong it would be very confusing for your pup

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Sad Re: Loathe to muzzle

Post by Guest Wed Oct 17 2012, 16:55

You could always tell her to join the forum herself & ask for advice? thumbs up

As everybody else has said - your house, your rules. I suppose it depends if it comes to a stand-off as to whether she stops bringing your granddaughter to see you. Personally I'd stick to my guns if it were me, but then I'm not a great one for family! Big Grin

No dog should ever be left unsupervised with a young child, no matter what breed it is. A stafford is less likely than a lot of others to bite, even if a child teases it, but as long as you keep an eye on their ineteraction I don't see the problem!

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Sad Re: Loathe to muzzle

Post by Guest Wed Oct 17 2012, 17:13

I don't think you should muzzle any dog that doesn't need it. Granted, biting is painful, but when it's playful it's not aggression, there's no reason to use a muzzle. Maybe you could suggest that you keep her on a lead around the baby the first couple of times, so if she gets too playful, you can pull her away to calm down? I don't know, to me, as long as you watch them together, it'd be fine.

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Sad Re: Loathe to muzzle

Post by numptynance Wed Oct 17 2012, 22:53

Thanks for your replies folks !! I agree with everything you've all said...and that my poor baby will most definitely be confused !! She's been with us for almost 8 weeks now, but we're still getting to know each other, & she's still learning the boundarys etc...I don't want to "upset the apple cart" !! However, I can honestly say I know her well enough to trust her implicitly !! Watch this space !! Will keep you posted !! Thanx again peeps x x
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Sad Re: Loathe to muzzle

Post by Guest Wed Oct 17 2012, 23:20

This is difficult - I can see both sides.

A mother with a young child will obviously want to avoid any possible harm coming to her. And to be honest, a dog of whatever breed who bounces all over a young child (and think how big a dog will appear to that child) and chews/nibbles at that child MAY be frightening to that child. At 2 years old (human) just think how they scream and are frightened by the tiniest scratch, no matter from what source. And we wouldn't want any child to be frightened of dogs, would we.

I can also understand the protectiveness of a puppy's owner (whatever breed) at the suggestion that their pup should be muzzled when a child is around when the pup's owner knows that the puppy only wants to play. but a puppy's play can still be unnerving to a toddler, especially when teeth are involved.

Can a compromise not be reached? ie that the puppy is on a controlled lead when the toddler visits? and that they get to know each other gradually under controlled conditions? Both the toddler and the pup will grow up, and hopefully come to terms with each other.

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Sad Re: Loathe to muzzle

Post by Guest Wed Oct 17 2012, 23:39

Caryll wrote:You could always tell her to join the forum herself & ask for advice? thumbs up

As everybody else has said - your house, your rules. I suppose it depends if it comes to a stand-off as to whether she stops bringing your granddaughter to see you. Personally I'd stick to my guns if it were me, but then I'm not a great one for family! Big Grin

No dog should ever be left unsupervised with a young child, no matter what breed it is. A stafford is less likely than a lot of others to bite, even if a child teases it, but as long as you keep an eye on their ineteraction I don't see the problem!

I can see where you might be leaning towards your stepdaughter with this for fear of not seeing the grandchild and I'm really lucky as our oldest (my stepson) has 2 big Bull Mastiffs himself so dog worry isnt a n issue , however if you cave in now there will always be something else so you must set your own rules in your own house and tell her no

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Sad Re: Loathe to muzzle

Post by Andy Thu Oct 18 2012, 09:17

Her request is a very uneducated one, and frankly ridiculous Rolling Eyes .. sounds like summut a tabloid would say! Surprised

I would do my very best to keep everyone happy somehow but there's not a hope in hell of me muzzling my dog in his own home I'm afraid Rolling Eyes

I have shut him in the kitchen to calm down when ppl come round before, but thats after trying to calm him, if he persists in being a loony around visitors who dont appreciate it .. he's in the kitchen .. simples Wink
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Sad Re: Loathe to muzzle

Post by Rachel33 Thu Oct 18 2012, 12:28

I don't know if this helps but I use Biscuit's crate (with a stuffed kong/stag bar left in there) for when there are people visiting that she isn't comfortable around...or they're not comfortable around her! It's her little safe place, and once she's calm and used to them being around she gets let out of the crate. She's not isolated as the crate is in the same room, but it gives nervous visitors a bit more confidence and Biscuit more confidence in them too. IMO it's just like asking her to go to her bed, so the best of both worlds. Perhaps once she gets to know your dog a little better through controlled interactions she will feel more comfortable?

However, when it comes down to it, she is visiting you in your home and as long as you're not being unreasonable by letting an aggressive child eating dog around her toddler (which you clearly are not) then you have a right to stand your ground if you don't want to muzzle or crate!
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Sad Re: Loathe to muzzle

Post by Jellytot Fri Oct 19 2012, 14:46

new Staffy owner wrote:This is difficult - I can see both sides.

A mother with a young child will obviously want to avoid any possible harm coming to her. And to be honest, a dog of whatever breed who bounces all over a young child (and think how big a dog will appear to that child) and chews/nibbles at that child MAY be frightening to that child. At 2 years old (human) just think how they scream and are frightened by the tiniest scratch, no matter from what source. And we wouldn't want any child to be frightened of dogs, would we.

But if I was a mum with a young child and I didn't want dogs around my child, I wouldn't go round to that person's house! I wouldn't ask them to put the dog in the garden or anything - it's their house!

My niece is a bit thick and Ralph took the sock off her 18 month old - to which the baby laughed. My neice said that dog just bit Alfie. I said no it didnt'. Anyway there was a big row and she hasn't been round since. Bothered. Not really!

Same as Caryll. Don't get me to pick family over my dog! HAHA!

Laughing
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Sad Re: Loathe to muzzle

Post by Guest Fri Oct 19 2012, 21:09

"But if I was a mum with a young child and I didn't want dogs around my child, I wouldn't go round to that person's house! "

We don't know if Nancy's step-daughter doesn't want dogs around her child, or is just concerned that the play-biting (whether aggressive or not, the toddler won't know the difference) is upsetting her child. That was the point I was trying to make.

Personally, I would hate it if my dog caused a rift in the family for whatever reason, and would try to work towards a compromise where the child does not become scared of dogs. And also personally, I wouldn't have thought that a "my house, my rules" or "love me, love my dog or bugger off" attitude is helpful in this situation.

surely some compromise can be reached where the child can be made to feel comfortable around dogs (and this dog in particular) without the dog having to have her mouth tied up? there must be a middle way.

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Sad Re: Loathe to muzzle

Post by numptynance Sat Oct 20 2012, 19:03

Hi again folks !! The latest update - after discussing with the hubster, I was pleased to hear off him that he also didn't agree with the muzzle !! YAY !!
As its his actual daughter & grand-daughter, I wasn't sure how he would play it...he'd left the ball in her court (by saying it was up to her - which I was secretly fuming about)...anyway neither of us had raised the subject (I secretly hoped the issue would just be forgotten about & we'd all live happily ever after), however, I also thought that daughter would get her way - anyway the upshot is that its not happening !!! Not in our own home - what we reckon is to meet up with them - walks in the park etc or neutral places so that Pooch gets to know them & subsequently should be less boisterous !! Now to tell her !!
Thats one nil to me !!! Thanks so much for your time & thoughts & advice x x x
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Sad Re: Loathe to muzzle

Post by Guest Sat Oct 20 2012, 19:22

Hooray - a compromise! Well done Nancy and your hubster.

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Sad Re: Loathe to muzzle

Post by numptynance Wed Oct 24 2012, 13:01

Yeah !! Great news - thanks again peeps x
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